CHAPTER 7

SOOJUNG’S POV

There were random moments back then that I thought Amber has big potential to be a musician if she diverts her focus towards music. She was a great guitar player, drummer and gosh… vocalist. The thing is… she only does it when asked by a friend to replace an absent band member.

Yep, Amber Liu plays the guitar and also has a talent on drums. She was a crowd favorite among her college peers back then (from what I witnessed), everyone knows her and everyone was in love with her (truth that can never be denied).

She never had a band, she only plays in her friend’s band whenever they ask her to cover for their guitarist/vocalist. And she obliges when she has time and she thoroughly enjoys it.

The first time I saw her sing onstage, gosh it was very embarrassing.

I was very embarrassing.

What can I do!? She look so hot that night and so cute and *cough* y *cough* I can’t take my eyes off her!

Imagine this: Amber Liu in a loose fitting plain white V-neck t-shirt, sleeves rolled up to show her guns (it wasn’t skinny and also not bulgy; just the right size since well, Amber is still a woman) front tucked a bit inside her tattered almost skinny jeans, wearing her green high top Converse. Her fingers playing with the strings of her electric guitar while singing… sweat rolling down her face… her neck…--

I forgot how many times I told myself “Okay Jung Soojung calm yourself.” that night. Because seriously, my whole being CANNOT calm down.

Like what I said, I was embarrassing. Not because I made something embarrassing in front of the crowd that night.

Hell no.

It just that… ugh.

I was embarrassing in front of her. It was the real me that night, Chrystal Soo Jung being the stuttering awkward fool that I am.

I remember being a stuttering mess when she walked up to where I was standing in the crowd after the song ended. The way she smiled so shyly but beaming… like she was happy to see me. And well… she looks so *cough* y *cough* saying “Hi..”

It was the second time we met and Jung Soo Jung’s pants were ready to drop when she saw Amber Liu’s beaming smile. *facepalm* 

At least just the pants. Not yet the Victoria’s Secret underwear.

Add to that the song she was singing onstage that night. Oh goodness gracious God.

[Insert song - here ]

If Amber Liu is a sin, I’ll gladly do her over and over again.--

….….

Okay that sounded so wrong. (‘^_^)

I mean OhmiGod, she was singing a Lenny Kravitz song! If you don’t even know who Lenny Kravitz is and his smash hit song “AGAIN”, then I don’t know what planet you came from!

It was eargasm and a feast for my eyes that night. Entering the bar along with David and Grace while wondering secretly why Amber didn’t join us. I was even pouting behind the couple because they made me a third wheel again. David said Amber has other ‘plans’ that’s why she cannot be with us (I wasn’t even asking!). My best friend Yeong Eun saying I will enjoy the night so much (saying it with a creepy grin and wink) and there’s free booze. I just can’t tell her honestly I don’t care about the free booze (because I don’t really drink that much and she knows it), all I care about was when will I see my crush, that PhD student Amber Liu again.

When we parted the night we first met, she only said “See you soon.” with a cute smile. That cute smile earned me eye bags the morning after.

That ‘see you soon’ took 2 days to happen and gosh it felt like a week.

Three days of only knowing her but she already made my heart thump thump, my whole being in a stand-by the moment I saw her onstage. I had my share of being onstage because of my profession and I must admit until now it makes me nervous on top of that platform in front of thousands. But Amber, she was shining. You just can’t take your eyes off her the moment you see her standing there doing her thing with the guitar while singing. How I wish to be her microphone that night. *faints*

…. Or maybe the electric guitar…

She even had a guitar solo that made the crowd wild. She looks so happy with the cheers, even doing it great.

Then our eyes met.

She was singing but her eyes were on me and believe me when I say that THAT song was very special for us… It became one of our favorites and included in the Mixtape CD I gave her.

*whispers* it was a good make out song.

The original one week break from Krystal Jung’s very hectic idol life was extended for another week…

And another week…

And... yep another week.

Something I kept from my sister, Jessica Jung.

You know Jessica Jung? I mean former SNSD Jessica?

1/9 of So Nyu Shi Dae, the “Nation’s Girl Group” of South Korea. Yep.

Anyway, I didn’t tell her anything about my “Boston vacation” because I knew she will scold me if she finds out I extended my break (Which she did eventually, finding out about it a week after I came back to Korea. I didn’t tell her anything about meeting someone). She was busy then with her group promotions and other stuffs that’s why we didn’t see each other often.

I chose to hide my relationship with Amber from my sister “for the mean time” because for sure she will freak out if she finds out I’m being ‘carefree’ and ‘stupid’ (“Stop being so carefree and stupid Soojung! Think about your career and your fans! Think about Mom and Dad! Think about what the people will say!” - coming from her own mouth not mine). I don’t consider it being ‘carefree’ and ‘stupid’. I consider what I have done as something a normal 20 something woman should experience.

She will not like the idea of me secretly making beautiful music together with a certain scholarly tomboy from Harvard University named Amber Liu. I know Jessica unnie so well… she won’t approve of me and Amber. She’s not even brave enough to fight for--… oh well nevermind.

Three weeks in Boston and I was living the life I always wanted but never had. The life I should have had but denied to me the moment I joined that talent company. I spent almost half of my life being force into an image that is opposite of who I really am and it .

For the first time in my 20-something life… I experienced freedom and happiness I haven’t felt before.

And I fell inlove.

Hard.

Three weeks of bliss, giddiness, and butterflies fluttering in my stomach. Going to the movies, hanging out and just talking about everything we think of. The teasing, the silly smiles and flushed cheeks, the sleepless night thinking of her even though we were together hours ago. All the things you do when you fall in love.  

It was the best Spring I ever had…

Even praying that the season will extend or the time slows down.

But of course, we can’t do anything. She has her classes and papers, researches to make while I have my schedules to fulfill in Korea.

Parting is inevitable.

Sad but I have to go back to the busy life of an idol, even though deep inside I was already having those second thoughts about my career. Thoughts about having a hiatus for a year or two so that I can focus on my studies and live the normal life. Amber’s influence in my life that time was so huge, it opened my eyes to a lot of things I did not even knew exists. Made me look at the brighter side of life away from the limelight.

We agreed to stay in contact and make it work. Long distance phone calls and video calls bonded us together. When time and schedule permits, I fly to Boston and stay with her for a few days. Sometimes we meet in New York. A couple of times the two of us met in Los Angeles where she introduced me to her family, her very warm and caring family that I love so much. She also surprised me twice when she flew to Seoul and stayed 48 hours before flying back again to Boston because she has classes to attend. Both our schedules were hectic but we tried to managed our time for each other.

In that one year we were together, I knew she was The One.

That One person I was destined to be with.

Until things happened.

Things that I have no control. My stupidity, immaturity, and fear of rejection coming over me. Leading me to make decisions that brought pain to the two of us.

With Amber eventually leaving me and disappearing for years, no news whatsoever of her location and what she was doing.

It left me so broken. My heart died that day she left… I was never the same again.

I live on her memories, our memories together. A year of being in a long distance relationship with Amber was very worth it, all the memories we spent together was the happiest moments of my life.

From the first time we met till the last time I saw her. Its all in here… inside my heart and in my mind.

INT. [DR. LIU'S HOTEL ROOM]

Whenever I will hear that Lenny Kravitz song playing on my phone, it brings me back to that night. Everything comes back, even the smell of her sweat and the warm smile she has. The way she looks that night still vivid inside my mind, giving me some certain kind of giddy feeling in my stomach.

And I can’t help but bite my lips seeing Amber in her street clothes now because it reminds me of that night.

White v-neck, nicely fitted jeans…

Okay there’s a new addition to that.

Tattooed arms. Not just a tattoo, but tattoos!

How… I mean, when? Her right arm is covered with art and that fascinates me.

*Lenny Kravitz automatically singing “AGAIN” inside my weirdo mind*  

Earlier, when Amber suddenly appeared picking me up like a left over mannequin in the hallway, my mind was in shock but my heart was thumping. Thump thump thump like crazy because it was the first time in 4 years that she carried me again in her arms. The first time in 4 years that I felt safe again.

I was a crying mess. Ugh.

She kissed me. We kissed. Taking my breath away as always, twisting my tongue that I can’t say anything. With a kiss the questions I have inside my mind for the last 4 years were temporarily forgotten. Amber is finally here and that is what’s important.  

Tell me honestly… did I acted so easy?

If yes, then its fine with me. I can take it.

I can’t help it. Because I have been waiting for 4 years… 4 freaking years that I thought I won’t see Amber ever again. Losing her felt like losing a huge part of me, an important part of my life that I wouldn’t exchange for anyone or anything.

Seeing her again, holding her, hearing her voice, looking into her eyes… everything finally made sense. She still loves me… I can feel it. I can see it. She can’t deny it nor lie about it because I will always know if she is saying the truth or not.

“Soojung…”

I smiled to myself hearing how her heart beats inside her chest. “Hmmmm…” I hummed a reply and tightened my arms around her not willing to let go. No way I will let Amber go!

I’ve waited so long for this day… this is the only chance for me to tell her everything I want to say.

Her hands feels so warm, her touch still feels the same. The way she comforts me and kisses my forehead… this is the Amber Liu my heart knows. She never changed and my heart is very glad she didn’t.

Gosh her sweat still smells so nice…

I nuzzled my nose further into her shirt, sniffing the hell out of her like always. OMG… She still smells like baby powder… smells like a baby… so good…

Control yourself Soojung…! control yourself…!

Control… yourself…

But with one of her hand at the back of my head… the sound of her breath, the warmth of her skin…

Everything is forgotten.

The only sounds I can hear are the loud beating of our hearts, my own heart beating so loud welcoming back a person I longed for so much. And the only thing I desire is to spend the rest of the night…

Alone with her and no one else.

AMBER’S POV

INT. [STILL INSIDE DR. LIU'S ROOM]

“Soojung...”

“Hmmm...”

The low hum was followed by a sigh, her arms tightening around my torso. Her head still resting on my chest. Tsk tsk tsk... I have a feeling she doesn’t have any plans of letting go of me today.

Lord God please don’t give me the urge to pee! This will be hard!

We’ve been sitting on the carpeted floor of my suite for a couple of hours now. She was crying a lot earlier even after the kiss. That’s why I held her in a tight hug, occasionally kissing the crown of her head and patting her back to calm down, swaying our bodies slowly. Kissing her crown only made it hard for me.

Why?

#1 - Her hair smells Heavenly. It still smells the same, the same fruity scent shampoo she uses. I want to bury my nose and sniff her hair like I used to do back then.

#2 - Her body scent smells Heavenly. Still using the same perfume and bath gel that I love on her. I am controlling myself with all my might not to run my nose on her neck because the moment I lose control...

I will LOSE all CONTROL.

That’s why the floor is better. Because if I took her to the bed--

Not that I’m saying something will happen between us… you know…

Although I’m not taking away the possibility that we might… you know