CHAPTER 18

SOOJUNG’S POV

If you ask anyone in Seoul what is their favorite time of the day, most of them will say night time or late at night. Why?

Clubs are open, the whole city is dazzling with lights. The street is full of office workers who just clocked out of work searching for a good time, drinking, and eating to take away the stress of their daily work. Students scattered around, group of friends who just want to have a good time after a tiring day of studying and stressing over college entrance tests.

Seoul is a beautiful place the moment the sun comes down. The whole city is alive and vibrant.

But if you were going to ask me what my favorite time of the day is?

I’ll answer you with one word.

Dawn.

Between 5:00 to 6:00 in the morning, when the majority of the population in the city still sleeps. While the others prepare to head out to their work or head out of their house to do some running to ease their minds from all the uncertainties they are going to face all throughout the day.

I love the quietness, I came to love it ever since I was a child.    

Much importantly, I love seeing the sun slowly takes a peek in the horizon, rising slowly until you see the rays scatter all over.

Don’t get me wrong, I do love mornings in bed especially when Amber has her arms around me while we sleep. But once in a while I wake up at dawn, go out in my veranda, and sit on the floor while waiting for the sun to rise. Just taking a deep breath, filling my lungs with morning air then welcome the new day with renewed hope that whatever happens… everything will be alright.

Like now, I wait for the sun to rise over the horizon. Not in my veranda though, but sitting here on the deck by the banks of the Han River while watching Amber enjoy her water hobby.

She’s out there now in the middle of the river riding her single boat, her toned arms working as a machine as she rows with precision, her boat gliding in the waters like how she does back then at Harvard.

Until now it fascinates me that Amber has this sport as her hobby. She also plays Basketball (really good), has a black belt in Tae kwon do, pretty good in Soccer and Tennis, and Dad loves playing Golf with her too. Chess is another game she enjoys with Dad. But rowing is her ultimate first love (in sports of course!). She said back then that whenever she wants to think or clear her mind from the stress of her studies, she goes out very early in the morning and row non-stop until the sun goes up.

And I guess both of us are here this early in the morning to clear our minds.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, feeling the cool morning breeze.

I can do this…

Everything will be alright Soojung…

Clear your mind, think rationally and intelligently.

Last night before going to sleep, I received a message from Manager Oppa informing me that the top management is summoning me to their office for a private meeting. At first, Oppa was reluctant to say why.

Until I called him and demanded to know the reason.

‘They got photos of you and Amber, Soojungie.’

I remember feeling dizzy that I dropped my phone on the carpet of my living room. My ears were ringing, Hojoon oppa’s voice playing in my head repeatedly, my stomach churning, my chest rumbling. I felt so weak, my knees felt like every ounce of energy I have slowly disappeared. I dropped on the floor sitting, not knowing what to do.

‘They got photos of you and Amber, Soojungie.’

‘They got photos of you and Amber, Soojungie.’

‘They got photos of you and Amber, Soojungie.’

‘They got photos of you and Amber, Soojungie.’

‘Photos of you and Amber...’

‘They…’

‘You…’

‘Amber…’

Have you ever felt so nervous and afraid that you want to throw up? Your chest heaving, your stomach weaving into knots?

I remember seeing Amber coming out from our room, she saw me and immediately went to my direction kneeling in front of me. She looks so worried… was moving but I don’t hear what she was saying, I think she was shouting… I don’t know. I was only staring at her but nothing comes out of my mouth. The ringing stopped…

Then silence followed.

Like nothing. Too quiet. No sounds. Everything feels so slow…

I can see Amber’s mouth opening and closing, her eyes full of worry when she held my face. The warmth of her palm on my skin made me come to my senses, in an instant my ears went back to normal and I can hear her voice asking me if I am alright.

Then I cried.

I don’t know why I cried but I just… cried.

She gathered me in her arms and held me close. I buried my face on her chest and cried my heart out almost trembling. My mind finally functioning slowly and the first thing that I thought was…

What should I do?

My heart was filled with worry. Fear.

What if they got Amber’s face in the photo? What if they find out who she is? And when they find out who she is, what if they use those photos to shame us? What if they use it to destroy Amber and her career? What if she gets angry about the breach of her privacy and decides to leave me because this is not the life she wanted?

I am used to this life… I am used to gossips, rumors, I can handle those things. But Amber…

She is not used to this kind of life.

What if…

Amber waited for me to finish crying before she asked what happened. She carried me to the couch, putting me down gently then sat beside me holding my hands asking what happened. In between sniffles, I told her that the top management is summoning me for an important meeting, also telling her what Hojoon Oppa said.

Her face turned pale when I mentioned the photos, the surprise in her eyes was noticeable but changed to a serious look. She stared at me then asked what specific photos of us does the agency has, I told her I’m not sure but Oppa mentioned photos from Japan. Amber nodded then pulled me for a tight hug telling me everything will be alright. That we will find a way to escape whatever trap the media wants to lure me in.

I didn’t really think much about what she said last night because my mind was still in a mess. But this morning I recalled everything and made a mental web structure of what could the media and the agency wants to do with me.

Oppa said the photos were of me and Amber in Japan. Impossible that they will get a photo of us when we were in Kyoto because the trip was very discreet. But of course, I won’t take it out of the list of my suspicions, the other place is the hangar where she picked me up.

Amber already made some calls last night to a few celebrity lawyer friends that she had in LA, asking for advice about illegally taken photos. She said the hangar where she was waiting for me that night is a private one, no one is allowed to enter the premises without permission from the management and the aircraft owners who rent the place. She said impossible that the photos were taken while we were vacationing in the resort because she made sure to choose a place away from the city and can’t be accessed that easily. The reservation wasn’t in our names, the reservation was made by a Japanese friend of hers so just to be careful.

It’s either an employee of the hangar was paid to take the photos or the media outlet sneaked inside the premises by paying an employee to let them in. She said heads will roll if any of these are proven to be correct and she won’t be giving mercy.

They really went out of their way to take my photos overseas? What do they want from me again?!

Think Soojung…

Think…

Going through another dating scandal with any male celebrity out there is the last thing on my mind. I don’t have any plans of ruining my peaceful life now with Amber, so tired of all the drama and the stupid fangirls who kept on tagging me on SNS. Oh God… not again.

They can swallow their Oppas and choke. I don’t want their Oppas, they can have them.

I heaved a deep sigh hoping the meeting later will not turn against me. Last time I agreed to their media play, I had no choice. We were negotiating about my contract and made some requests regarding freedom on choosing the scripts for my acting projects, products to endorse, and a full album every year for our group. A concert tour was on the line and it costs the three of us our privacy and dignity. The agency set us up in a dating scandal with fellow agency male idols who needed some boosts in their careers. One year in exchange of a world tour.

Some of you may think, nah. Those things aren’t true. Those things do not happen in K-pop.

Well sorry to disappoint you guys, it happens. Not just in K-pop but also in Hollywood.

*Sigh*

Think Soojung… think…

Opening my eyes, I saw Amber rowing to my direction yelling my name. “Soojung-a~~~!” She stopped on the side of the deck huffing with a smile. I stood up from my seat watching her get out of the boat then helped her on hoisting it up from the water to the deck by hands. The material is light so we didn’t encounter any problems of pulling it up.

“Were you bored while waiting?” she asked when she wrapped her arms around my waist in a hug. I gave her a funny face while wiping the sweat off her pretty reddened face with a small towel. “Not really… I was enjoying my alone time while watching you ride your small boat.” And yes, I was enjoying the sight of you sweating in that sleeveless shirt and shorts… After her face, the next destination of the towel was her arms glistening in sweat.

Her toned arms were a sight to behold whenever she pushes and pulls the oars to keep the single scull moving in the water… her tattoos added to the iness…

Thank you, Grandma Liu, for making those beautiful drawings… your Granddaughter proudly had it inked in her skin so that she can show it off to everyone.

Art on art.  

I took off her sunglasses and saw her eyes smiling while staring at me. “You’re smiling.”

“Why shouldn’t I? You’re here… that’s enough reason to smile in the morning.” I placed the towel around her neck pulling her face closer to mine.

“Sweet talker Scientist who only wants a kiss…”

“Did it work?”

“Hmmm…” I narrowed my eyes playfully then crinkled my nose. “Maybe~…”

The two of us grinned at each other then connected our lips for a short kiss. We broke the kiss, rubbing our noses together then smiled. “They better get that in a good shot if there are any media out there following me.”

“Silly, it’s still early. They are probably still sleeping right now.”

“Probably~…”

“Look,” she captured my lips once again in a soft kiss, playfully bending our bodies halfway down as if she’s Casanova and I’m her latest conquest, both of us laughing after breaking the kiss.

She pinched my nose to annoy me then reached for the hood of my jacket to cover my head. “Come on Miss It Girl Goddess Krystal Jung, use your divine powers and help me put this boat on the car then let’s take a walk.”

“Okay~…”

I know Amber. For sure there are a lot of things in her mind too... problem-solving math equations is one of her expertise, same as thinking of solutions through experiment and research. I bet she already tackled the matter inside her brain this morning while rowing. I’m kind of excited what she has inside her mind right now… I can’t wait to hear it all.  

After making sure the boat is already secured on top of the SUV, Amber and I made our way to the jogging path along the river banks. I took a glance at my watch for the time. 7:30 in the morning… just the right time to jog… the ride back home will only take us less than five minutes anyway.

She has her hands on her back as we walk on the path, I made some stretching with my arms enjoying the view of the river. Minutes passed when Amber broke the silence and asked. “What time do they need you there?”

Sighing, I answered her with disinterest in my voice, “Oppa said 10:00 AM…”

“Who will be there later… I mean… any higher ups?”

“Well… the CEOs as always. The Artist Management for sure, PR Department.”

“Are you nervous? We can always call a lawyer to come with you.”

“Hmmm… not really nervous. Not like last night, I admit I was really nervous and afraid. But having you beside me made me realize I don’t have to be afraid.”

She took my left hand with her right hand intertwining it together. The way she holds my hand was very comforting, tight and assuring that she will not let it go whatever happens.

“Good. Because that’s true, don’t be afraid because I’m here… we will think of a solution whatever problem those photos will bring. I already made some calls, we have a team of lawyers on stand by Soojung.”

Wow. That’s fast.

“Am… what if they got your face in the photos…?” I said with a pout.

She chuckled with a smile. “Then it better be a good photo! My pretty face should be taken in a good angle~” she jokingly said, flipping her invisible long hair. We shared a laugh and continue to walk, joggers passing by us too busy in their own world.

People wanting to jog and bike are already coming that made me conscious. Good thing I am wearing Amber’s sunglasses or else someone might recognize me--

Ohh…

Actually, there were a few people who was waving not long ago so it means…

They recognized me!

But they were just waving and doing their thing… so it means… they don’t care at all…

They don’t care at all that I am here…

Instead of getting annoyed that they don’t care… it’s actually great.

Because even if they saw me, they are giving me the privacy that they also enjoy as normal people…

“Soojung…”

I turned to Amber when she called my name, “Hmmm…?”

She was looking ahead on the path, her face having an apologetic expression that crushed my heart. Oh, Amber…

“Am, don’t say sorry… please.” I said. I tightened my hold on her hand as a reminder that I will not let go of it even if she ask me to.

She halted on her steps to face me, both of us standing there in the middle of the jogging path staring at each other. Our hands intertwined, hearts beating fast. I can see the worry in her eyes, the fear, the frustrations. I knew it all because it’s the same for me.

Sighing, she placed her free hand on my nape caressing it gently then spoke. “A whole decade of your career is at stake here, Soojung.”

“I know… not just mine but also my members. Our group…” I looked down for a while looking at my shoes but the truth is I don’t want Amber to see the tears trying to leak from my eyes. Breathe, Soojung… no crying… no crying… I raised my head to face her, “… but don’t you think it’s time for us to live our lives too after a decade of giving them our childhood and teenage years?”

“We already established our careers, broke records, won numerous awards, sold albums worldwide… made fans happy with our music. Our life an open book to everyone, our faces plastered everywhere… we didn’t do anything bad for the past 10 years. We didn’t do drugs, didn’t disrespect our seniors or anyone in the business… the only scandal we had was our dating scandals but those were not really considered ‘scandal worthy’ until the media twisted the story. We don’t drink and drive, our records are clean. We are law abiding model citizens of South Korea so why can’t they just give this little thing called privacy to us? Is it too much to ask? Can’t they respect that little ounce of privacy?”

She pulled me in a tight embrace patting my back to console me. My arms circled her waist locking her on my embrace. The warmth her body emits gives that feeling of calmness I need. I buried my face on her chest and closed my eyes, not wanting to cry. I don’t want to cry… no crying… I already cried last night… no crying…

“I just want to protect my love ones… I want to protect you from the media…” I whispered audibly.

“I know…” she said. “And I want to protect you too.