Taeyeon sighed as she watched the airplane take-off. It’s going to be fine, she willed herself to believe. But she couldn’t shake the ill-feeling in her heart that had been there since she had woken a disoriented Seungwan, during the car ride to the airport.

The girl had been sedated when they had found her in the room, and she had barely kept her eyes open as she and Jongdae, both supporting her on the sides, had led her outside in the chaos that ensued after Baekhyun had set off the fire alarm. She had been unable to answer any of Taeyeon’s questions about how she got taken, and Jongdae had told her to stop trying after a few questions as Seungwan was not in the right state to answer them. Taeyeon had already asked Sehun and Soojung to pack some belongings and bring them to the respective airport, and they had found Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, the latter looking less like a groom with his suit jacket and tux tie off, already waiting for them. Kyungsoo had blanched in concern seeing Seungwan’s condition, while the said girl had been too lost to register anything. Taeyeon had tried her best, explaining to her cousin that she and Kyungsoo were leaving the country and were going to stay in a small town in Thailand, that Nayeon had arranged for them, for a few days until things were clear.

Seungwan had looked at everything with glazed eyes, repeating dreamily what Taeyeon had told her and gotten up to go through the security checks looking like a zombie, Kyungsoo following close behind her, carrying the minimal luggage. Taeyeon had watched her Seungwan with a heavy heart, as the depth of the situation clearly had not dawned on her cousin yet, wondering how the girl would react once she was back to being normal. She had exchanged silent words with Kyungsoo when he’d looked back at them once before going on, and she knew, trusted, that the guy would take care of Seungwan but that didn’t stop her nerves from going frail thinking about all that had conspired today and what its aftermath would be. She knew she would have much explaining to do to her aunt, and that didn’t make matters any easier.

“Shall we go now?”, Baekhyun came up beside her, breaking her out of her thoughts.

Taeyeon frowned. “You’re still here?”, She’d told them all to leave once Kyungsoo and Seungwan were through the security checks, saying she would come a bit later, and far as she knew all of them had left. Except clearly one.

“Yeah, why?”, Baekhyun eyed her and she just looked away. “Anyway, let’s go”

“I will go myself, you can leave. Thanks”, She said, being her usual curt self.

“No, I’ll drop you. It’s on my way anyway, and it’s getting dark”

“And what will the dark do, eat me?”, She hadn’t ever really understood why dark was always associated with something bad. It was the humans that roamed in the dark that made it bad, not the dark itself. Baekhyun gave her a blank look, and she rolled her eyes before giving in and walking towards the exit.

It had gotten fully dark as they quietly settled into the car and began their journey out of the outskirts of the city. Taeyeon stomach rumbled, reminding her she hadn’t, like everyone else, eaten anything since morning. “Can we get something to eat on the way? I’m really hungry”

Baekhyun didn’t respond to her for some seconds. “Uhh, do you really have to?”, He rubbed the back of his head in obvious discomfort. “I can drop you off at the mart near your house if you want?”

Was that another way of saying I don’t want to eat with you? Taeyeon’s heart dropped. Had she asked for too much? Maybe. She sighed and sat back in her seat, non-plussed, her hunger already dissipating. “No need, I can eat once I get home” I shouldn’t have come with him.

A few minutes in silence, Taeyeon’s head squirming with questions that she itched to confront Baekhyun with. Why was he being like this? Here she was, trying to be nice, actually making an effort while he completely disregarded her. Was he still upset about what she’d said back at the trip?

“Baekhyun listen”, She took a deep breath and started, as he the avenue that would lead them to her house. “I’m sorry”

The car jerked slightly, as Baekhyun probably stepped on the brake pedal, that could easily be masked as him being careful and Taeyeon’s attention was diverted from seeing his expression momentarily. When she looked at him again though, his face was still a mask, and she suddenly felt so angry that the lack of emotion on his face, the lack of bubbliness in his demeanor could have such a saddening effect on her. Hadn’t she always hated his smirks, his overly cheery personality? Why was it irking her so much then, now that he was as she had always wanted him to be?

“Sorry about what?”, He asked tonelessly.

“About what happened back at the trip, the things I said that night and also about…”, She paused. “About you and Suzy…”

Incredulity wrote itself in his features, and he momentarily diverted his surprised gaze to her. But the guilt in her eyes was apparently enough an answer for him to not voice his queries.

“There’s no need to say sorry”, He shook his head, a ghost of an incredulous smile playing on his lips. “You did nothing wrong”

She could see he wanted to say more, and also how he was restraining himself from doing so. Why was he holding back? Her frustration peaked after getting no more response from him for some time. Clearly he still held a grudge. “I’m sorry, Baekhyun. I really am. Can’t we please just move past it?”

“Move past what?”, He seemed to be frustrated now too.

“Past everything!”, She felt more vulnerable in that moment then she had felt in a long time and she hated it. She felt like crying and lashing out at the same time as just hugging him and asking to be his normal self again, to be that teasing jerk who could talk her ear off with his useless banter. Why the hell was this happening to her?

He gave her a long look. Longer than could be considered safe for a person driving. “There’s nothing to move past, Taeyeon, there was never anything”

And that about did it. Anger seared through her head. How the hell had the conversation steered this way between them, where he had to remind her that there was nothing between them? In another time, she would have agreed with him, silently swallowing his words and her anger like a bitter pill, but things had changed now. She wanted answers, loud and clear.

“Oh really? So there was nothing ever there, huh?”, Her sarcastic tone got his attention alright. “How silly of me to think there was!”

He sighed, his tone that of an adult placating a petulant child, as he turned into a street. “That is not what I meant – “

“What do you exactly mean, Baekhyun? Do explain it to me today cause I’m dying to understand!”

He parked the car on the side of the street outside a house, that she slowly, disappointedly turned to find was her’s. She turned back to him, but he didn’t even bother meeting her eyes. “There’s nothing to explain, and there certainly isn’t any more reason or time for us to argue”, He said simply. “Now go on, everyone’s probably waiting for you to come and explain everything”

She deflated at his words. In the heat of her emotions, she’d briefly forgotten all that had conspired today, and how she probably had so much to explain to Mrs. Son and Yerim, if not Sehun and Soojung. How can I be this selfish? She reprimanded herself and breathed back her frustration as Baekhyun fetched her dress from the backseat that she’d changed out of earlier.

Giving him a look that said ‘this conversation isn’t over’ as she took the plastic bag from him, she moved out of the car, slamming the door behind her for good measure.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Baekhyun flinched at the harsh sound of the door slamming and then took a deep breath to calm himself.

He was trying, he really was, to keep himself away from her and not give in to his selfish urges that wanted to just claim her as his, and boy was she making it hard. What had he done now to elicit such an agitated response? All he had done was offer her a ride, because try as he might, he couldn’t be callous enough to just leave her at the end of the city alone, to find her way back without anyone else. He would have asked Sehun to stay instead but the guy looked shattered, and Taeyeon didn’t look like she would leave any time before making sure the plane was in the sky and way ahead on its route. So he’d told them he would bring her back once she’d had enough satisfaction.

And as if it wasn’t torture enough to be sitting within inches of her, unable to reach out and touch her because she was taken (the happiness on her face as he had seen her hugging Hyuk not to long ago kept replaying in his mind), she actually had to start and try to make conversation with him, going as far as to offer eating together. How was he expected to eat with her with the misery that kept descending on him every time he saw her? If it weren’t for the crucial situation that they had to go through together, they wouldn’t even have talked.

Was I too selfish? He wondered if they had just eaten together maybe she wouldn’t have gotten angry with him, and then groaned wanting to pull at his hair. How long were they supposed to do this for? Fighting, getting back to being civil, fighting again. Rinse. Repeat.

He was so tired. Of making her cry, of crying himself. And here I’d thought I was doing a good job of avoiding her and moving on. Wishful thinking, all wishful thinking.