"Ugh, why is he here?" Taeyeon heard Soojung grumble as they boarded the bus. Their's was the 8^th one, and Taeyeon cursed herself for not seeing the group members they were travelling with when Junmyeon had uploaded the bus group arrangements last night.

Because soon as she had seen Baekhyun that morning, full of laughing smiles and high spirits, her insides had started somersaulting in the same...excitingly nice way again and she hated it. She would have to take care to steer clear of his path on this trip because she wanted to enjoy her time rather than keep thinking about his hair or the way his eyes twinkle or his throaty laugh and all that fanciful rubbish.

Her gaze fell on him as soon as she came up the steps into the aisle. Sitting in the seats in the extreme back with Chanyeol and Jongdae, he gave her a small, heart-warming smile. This is going to be a long journey, she sighed. But her attention was diverted to someone waving to her in her peripheral vision and she turned to find Hyuk sitting in one of the seats in the left row, calling her.

She walked up to him excitedly and plopped down. "Where have you been? We've missed you!" She hadn't seen him since before the Winter Dance, they had exchanged messages, but that had been occasional and she had been thinking of giving him a call for days now to ask about how he was, and when he was coming back.

The guy in question reddened a little at her remark but returned her smile enthusiastically, before moving on to tell her about his visit to his parents in Busan.

"So, she's better now, right?", Taeyeon inquired, when he told her about his younger sister being ill. She had a con heart condition.

"Yeah, it keeps coming and going you know. She just exerted herself a little too much I think", he replied. "I'm just happy I made it in time for the trip. Your Christmas gift is due though, I'll give it to you soon as we reach"

"You didn't have to, Hyuk! I'm just glad you're here"

"Yeah, me too", Hyuk smiled.

They fell into chatter easily, unaware of the guy looking at them sulkily as he sat in the back.

_

Baekhyun had decided he was going to make the most of this trip. And that had started with him making sure he was travelling in the same bus as a certain girl. She had been a little distant for the past few days, despite him having been at the best of his behavior (ok, maybe not best but he just couldn't help teasing her when she looked so cute while irritated), and he had decided to try and get her to be more comfortable with him. Going back to the way they used to be was maybe a long shot, but one he was willing to work for.

And he tried hard to ignore the gnawing feeling inside him, seeing Taeyeon and Hyuk together. Especially when they stuck together during their rest stop on the way to Yanggu, Taeyeon talking and laughing freely, so unlike the awkward way she acted around him.

The bone-chilling gust of wind Baekhyun got slapped with, as soon as he stepped down from the bus once they reached their destination, made him re-think his decision of coming on the trip. The sky was covered with formidable looking clouds, and the sun was nowhere to be seen.

"Such a great time to visit this place, our asses are going to freeze off if we stay outdoors for more than a minute", Jongdae remarked, his teeth chattering as they all zipped up their padding jackets. "So much for trying to cross the line"

Baekhyun's eyes found Taeyeon, who was rubbing her hands furiously to keep them warm, blowing air into them, and he immediately took out the new pair of gloves he had bought to take them to her. But he was cut short by Hyuk doing the same, and Taeyeon refused him, saying something about having packed them to deep into her travelling bag and that she would take them out once they reached inside the hotel.

Quickly getting hold of their respective luggage, they all moved towards the hotel building to get settled in. Yixing looked particularly down, as he had planned an out-door activity after lunch but seeing the weather carrying snow in its wake, they had to resort to staying indoors.

Baekhyun carried his bag into the room he had been allocated, to find three other guys in the room. Jongin was sprawled on his single bed on the left side of the room, playing on his cell-phone and Yixing seemed occupied with unpacking on the other bed on the left. Before he could ask who the third occupant of the room was, Hyuk came out of the washroom, face flushed after the hot shower.

Perfect, he thought sardonically.

"Why our four of us sharing? I thought two were supposed to share one room", Baekhyun knew Jongdae and Chanyeol were sharing one across their’s, down the hallway.

"Yeah, there were some problems with the number of girls sharing the rooms. Suzy and her friends wanted to stay in one room. So here we are, you don't mind do you?", Yixing rubbed the back of his head tiredly.

"Uhh, no", It wasn't like he could object. He simply would have to deal with his issues and try to stay amicably.

_

"So, who wants to start?", Soojung looked around the room for volunteers.

They had just eaten dinner, and Yixing had called them all to one of the large lounge halls in the hotel, to 'try and break some ice' and the twenty or so of them who had actually bothered to gather, had voted in favor of a good old game of 'Never Have I Ever'.

Minseok raised his hand. "Never have I ever passed out drunk"

There was a general groan, as Jongin, Soojung, Jongdae, Baekhyun, Chanyeol and even Taeyeon raised their mugs for a gulp. Much to Taeyeon's relief, they had the option of taking coffee or tea if they so pleased instead of alcoholic beverages to play the game.

Chanyeol's was up next, and he smirked somewhat towards Baekhyun as he spoke. "Never have I ever kissed anyone in this room"

Baekhyun turned a little pink and nervously glanced at Taeyeon before taking a sip from his coffee. Taeyeon was too busy rolling her eyes, after eyeing Baekhyun and Suzy who were the only ones drinking – No surprise there –  apart from a disgruntled looking Jongdae, a glaring Luna and another guy from the arts department – Junho, if she remembered correctly. She then took a sip too, leading to Soojung smiling at her mischievously. Yixing chose to smirk at her too mouthing 'biual', and she scowled at him.

"So, who did each of you kiss?", Krsytal expanded on the going topic, trying to hold back her laughter seeing a flustered Baekhyun and a scowling Taeyeon.

Baekhyun feigned a sweet smile. "I'm not obliged to answer that"

"Yeah, me neither", Suzy replied back with a calm smile.

"You're up next then", Yixing pointed to her.

She thought for a minute. "Never have I ever slept with anyone in this room" there were amused snorts and some gasps from the occupants of the room.

"Do you mean simple sleeping, or sleeping sleeping?", Jongin asked.

"Either, both", Suzy shrugged and Baekhyun sighed inwardly before drinking. He didn't dare look at Taeyeon, who he could feel was shooting scalding daggers at him as she reluctantly took a sip too.

"Who did you sleep with, sunbae?", Suzy asked Taeyeon in amusement, to which the latter responded coldly, still glaring at Baekhyun. "I'm not obliged to answer that, am I?"

"You're up next then", Jongin, Soojung and Suzy chorused at the same time. Taeyeon boringly went on to confess that she had never jumped from an airplane. Junmyeon and Yixing drank to that, then explained how they had gone skydiving last year.

"Never have I ever had a crush on anyone in this room", Junmyeon called out, happy eyeing some of them. Except from Minseok, Chanyeol and Taeyeon (who had long since admitted to herself that what she'd had for Baekhyun wasn't a simple crush), everyone drank. Taeyeon caught Soojung drinking reluctantly, her face a little crimson. She then looked at Jongin and smirked.

"Who do you have a crush on, Jongin?", Taeyeon asked.

Jongin looked up, a little startled at the sudden question. His gaze flickered briefly to Soojung, who looked like she would be anywhere but in that room, at that moment. "I....I have - "

"Why should he answer that?", The words tumbled out of Soojung's mouth before she could stop herself and hearing the buzz of 'Ohs' around the room, she regretted it immediately. Taeyeon smiled, and Jongin's lips also turned up a little at the corners.

Baekhyun on the other hand, had his attention fixed on Hyuk, who was not-so-subtly looking at Taeyeon as he drank in confession of the previous question.

"Never have I ever been in love with anyone in this room", Soojung confessed triumphantly.

Taeyeon's heart skipped a beat, and she instinctively looked towards Baekhyun, their gazes locking for an infinite second before Taeyeon looked away, her heart thudding loudly in her ears. A roller-coster of images flashed through her mind: a younger, bespectacled version of herself laughing, a younger Baekhyun smiling his perfect eye-smile, her turning red at his sudden gesture of holding her hand, the tingles of warmth rushing through her when he hugged her and then –

"I've never looked at you like that, Taeyeon. I don't know what made you think I did", Baekhyun explained, not meeting her eyes. "You're just a friend to me"

She panicked as his words rang in her ears, the memory fresh as if it had happened yesterday. She only realized she was hyperventilating when Soojung tugged at her arm lightly. "Are you okay?"

Taeyeon looked up to see concern plastered on her face and then on the faces of several others, particularly Yixing who had his brows furrowed.

"I-uh...."Breathe, Taeyeon. "I just- I....I think I'm going to go rest" She got up quickly, putting her mug of coffee on the table.

"Are you okay?", Hyuk asked, getting up with her.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine", Taeyeon feigned a smile, trying to calm her racing heart. She was so past the stage of panicking because of a simple memory. "I just want to rest, you guys carry on"

Before anyone else could question her more, she her heels and started walking briskly towards the stair case at the end of the hallway that would take her to the room she was sharing with Soojung.

She failed to see a certain boy with dyed blonde hair turning black at their roots, who had taken a sip from his mug too, as he watched her retreating figure in worry, unable to draw up the courage to go after her.

_

You've come a long way, Taeyeon told her reflection showing through the bathroom mirror. It had been hard at first. She remembered the days she had spent at the hospital, feeling numb. Like life was at a standstill, with an agony she couldn't put her finger on.

But eventually, she'd smiled. Sehun and Seungwan had been there throughout, and once she had finally felt well-enough to go to university, Yixing, Miyoung and Yuri had become such huge pillars of support as well. Had they not been there for her during that terrible time, she doubted she'd have even made it alive out, with the amount of suffering her mind had put her through.

The panic attacks had been bad the first few times. Especially the one right after she'd been discharged. She had seen Minjee with her friends on her way back from university during her first year, and that had triggered the attack. Seungwan had thankfully been with her, when she broke down in the middle of the road. She had comforted and consoled her, been with her even when the panic made her physically aggressive and for that Taeyeon would always owe her.

Going through therapy over the next few years, she had recovered so much, gained so much strength and come out a much more confident and brave person than she'd ever been before. She had put herself to test as well, when she had gone to present a research paper once to the school she knew Minjee was studying at. The latter had been shell-shocked seeing her present so coolly on stage, and the awkward greetings exchanged afterwards were less than pleasant. Taeyeon even remembered feeling sorry for the girl who now looked very much alone. And the apology she'd received from her online, a few days later had made her realize they were all humans at the end of the day who did things in the heat of the moment that they regretted later. No one was without sin.

It was that day and today, and Taeyeon had only gotten stronger and more poised. The panic that had struck her on seeing Baekhyun earlier that year had subsided pretty quickly, because she understood that none of it was his fault, neither was it her's. It was just unfortunate, that she'd come out to be the victim in the circumstances that prevailed.

And as she calmed her racing heart by drawing circles on her palm that night, she promised herself that it was the last time that she had gotten anxious because of a memory.

That night, she didn't have nightmares. Baekhyun didn't leave her hanging on the altar or dying in the middle of the road (the kind of things she had dreamt about in the past whenever she had panicked). Instead she dreamt of running around in a garden filled with flowers and rainbow-colored bubbles, looking for someone. And when that someone, a boy with a rectangular smile had come into her view, she hadn't cried.

_

A/N: Things are gonnna get intenseeeeeeee