"You guys can stay outside, it’s only going to take a minute anyway”, Kyungsoo told off the two males walking behind him. It was really getting on his nerves now, having two shadows all the time.

And it wasn’t like there was any need for them when he knew that all the new suits he was wearing nowadays, courtesy of Kim Minjun, weren’t as innocent a gift as he had been made to believe. There was definitely some sort of tracking or listening device on them, because there were things that slipped from the old guy’s mouth that Kyungsoo knew with a burning surety he hadn’t told him (like one of the deals they’d made with an off-shore company a week ago, the specifics of which Minjun knew about before he had told him after he’d just had a meeting with the company’s representative without the presence of bodyguards) and Minjun had insisted on him wearing them whenever he went out (“you’re going to marry my daughter so you have to keep up appearances”)

He had refused at first because it hardly made sense to wear tie suits to college, but his wardrobe had been cleaned out and replaced with new “college-wear" when he got there. The whole house had been “sweeped” too but he only found out about that later.

And it wasn’t like he had much of a college life nowadays either. He just went, sat lifelessly through classes, and came back home without talking to any of his friends. A few days after the news, people had come up to congratulate him and tell him how surprised they were, but soon the news had gotten old. His friends gave him all sorts of looks, but he ignored them whenever they tried to talk to him (something that had been his forte before too but it hadn’t nearly hurt as much doing it before) and soon, after probably giving up, they’d stopped bothering him.

Kyungsoo tried to convince himself that this was better. He had managed to buy a burner phone for emergency uses secretly, and there were times he was tempted to call one of his friends and spill everything but he didn’t. It was too much of a risk to take considering how they would react, and to what lengths they might be ready to go to help him, that might put them in danger. It was only for their own good that he wanted them to stay as far away from him as possible, at least until the wedding. Once he and Nayeon got settled, the suspicions and fears that Minjun had would probably wear off and he would hopefully be able to have some breathing space again.

But the way they kept looking at him, with desperation and occasionally disappointment, the hurt looks he received from Yixing and Soojung and the angry ones from Taeyeon, sometimes when he accidently locked gazes with them, seared through his heart.

He’d had been able to successfully dodge Seungwan at all occasions and even when he’d seen her once or twice, he’d looked away faster than light, not trusting himself to be able to control himself if he saw the hurt or accusation in her eyes.

But not today.

Today he had to face her. To tell her, once and for all.

Thankful that his guards had had enough sense to heed to his warning when he told them to stay back, he solemnly made his way out of the car to their meeting place, the same restaurant they’d gone on their first date. Or rather first arranged date, when he’d screwed everything up and left her crying.

His heart sank painfully as he realized that the end might be similar today too. A part of him didn’t want to do it. Wanted to still live in the illusion that maybe she was still waiting for him, that they still had a relationship, however rocky it was.

But it was unfair. To keep doing that to her and to himself too. He knew it would lessen the danger she faced, if he finally told her off today. Minjun would be more satisfied that he had no lingering feelings, and would possibly back off her case.

He had chosen that restaurant specifically, hoping to send a silent warning. Hoping it would somehow prepare her for what was coming.

He was more than surprised to find her already sitting at one of the tables lining the far end of the restaurant, looking out the ceiling to floor glass windows at the cloudy sky.

With a thudding heart, he lightly made his way towards her. She looked beautiful, as usual, her dress carrying all the light blues that were replaced by grays on the sky that day. It was going to rain again today, Kyungsoo could tell and for some reason the idea of it didn’t bother him as much as it usually did when he hadn’t brought an umbrella with him.

“Hi”, He cleared his throat and greeted stoically.

Seungwan’s eyes shot towards him something constricted inside Kyungsoo seeing the shine in her eyes as she got up in greeting. “Hi”, She smiled nervously, but with hope, and Kyungsoo wished he didn’t have to crush it.

He maintained his expression and sat down unceremoniously, with her following a beat later. Kyungsoo gave her a long look, not betraying any emotion, trying to memories her features. From her feline eyes, to milky complexion and cheeks that seemed to have thinned a bit from how he last remembered them to be.

“Thankyou for coming today, Seungwan”, Her alias sounded foreign to his tongue, like it always did, but he wouldn’t, couldn’t bring himself to call her Seung. “I’m guessing you already know why I asked you to meet me today”

She swallowed, a faint pink creeping up on her cheeks, and Kyungsoo felt like pulling his hair out in agony, thinking of what he was about to do.

“I know and I....”, She paused, looking down. “I understand, you don’t have to explain”

His heart flipped in his chest. He wanted to walk across to her side and kiss her. This was the woman he had fallen in love with, a woman who despite everything he had put her through still trusted him enough to not even desire an explanation. And he was the most pitiful bastard to exist on the face of the earth.

“Oh, but I have to Seungwan”, He spoke coolly. “I have to explain, otherwise I won’t be able to marry Nayeon without guilt....and I don’t want to do that”

She looked confused. “What do - “

“I know how pointless this must seem to you, considering we never really were even dating...” he pretended not to notice how her features became solemn. “But I still must officially inform you that our....relationship - if it could even be called that- is officially over. I hope there aren’t any lingering feelings? Because there most certainly aren’t any on my side” He smiled coldly, trying not show that his gut was twisting seeing her downcast expression.

……………………………………………………………….

“What-what do you mean?”, Seungwan asked, trying to make sense of what was happening while at the same time wanting not to. “Is this another joke?”

He laughed at that, the sound making her feel like somebody had punched her in the guts. No, no, no....

“Does it look like I’m joking?”, He asked rhetorically. “Please don’t tell me you took our relationship seriously?”, He said it like it was the most absurd thing in the world and Seungwan found her heart sinking.

She looked up nevertheless, her eyes conveying the full force of her emotions. “Of course I did”

Kyungsoo looked surprised, like he hadn’t been expecting her to say that. “Well, I’m sorry. I don’t know what gave you the impression that sham was real. It was all to fool our mothers remember?”

She flinched at that, her breath quickening, feeling helpless and furious at the same time. But she didn’t give in to her anger, it wasn’t the place or the time, clearly Kyungsoo was being forced into saying all this. She had to believe in him.

“But - Look, we...”, She reached out a hand on the table to hold his, but he pulled it back, somehow making the motion seem natural. It impaled through her sinking heart like a dagger. “We can always talk about this some other time...you’re clearly –“

“No, Seungwan, this is the only time I have. I’m getting married, remember?”, He responded sharply. His eyes betrayed nothing, though Seungwan tried to convince herself otherwise, she couldn’t help the panic that was rising in her every second that he was serious. That this was real, and it made her want to run away and hide herself somewhere. Somewhere she could keep living in the illusion of being attached to him.

“You can’t possibly feel betrayed about this, Seungwan”, She barely heard him as her heart was throbbing in her ears and she was filled with dread to the core.

“No, please, don’t”, She pleaded through a dry mouth. She didn’t dare look up, her eyes clouding with tears. She knew it was pathetic, begging him like this, but she was desperate. She couldn’t imagine letting him go. If it meant he would stay, she would do anything.

“Oh, Seungwan”, He sighed, his tone that of someone who was bored. “I can’t. I’m marrying Nayeon. And that’s that. You’re just going to have to live with it”

Was this really the Kyungsoo she knew? It couldn’t be. The cold, ruthless mask of a man sitting in front of her couldn’t be the warm, caring person she’d fallen for.

But it is, a part of her said. Only you’ve been fooling yourself.

“No, I don’t believe you”, She defied. “You don’t really mean that. You know you don’t – “

He leaned forward cutting her off, his expression that of a parent trying to convince a stubborn child. “I do, Seungwan. And the sooner you accept it, the better it is” He got up then and Seungwan felt like the earth was slipping from beneath her feet.

She got up hurriedly and was by his side in a flash, holding his arm and blocking his path. She didn’t care if the people around were giving her strange looks. “Please don’t do this. I’ll do whatever you say, just don’t leave me...”, She cried, looking at him with desperation and for a second she thought she saw his expression soften. But it was gone as quickly as it came.

……………………………..

He tried to free his arm, but she wouldn’t let go. “You’re making a show, Seungwan. Stop it!”, He said from in between clenched teeth. “Let go!”

“I won’t”, The tears were streaming down her cheeks now. “I love you, Kyungsoo. So much. Just please stay”

Kyungsoo’s mind was going haywire. As if it wasn’t torture enough already, she was now holding his arm, pleading with him, and he was barely restraining himself from breaking down.

And then she confessed, making his heart stop. It was the first time she’d said his name too and how he wished she hadn’t. It was going to haunt him forever now, this moment, and he felt like somebody had plunged a knife into his heart, and was twisting it. I want to die....

“Please, Seung”, He couldn’t help himself as he closed his eyes, and pleaded in her ear, breathing in her scent one last time. “Please, it’s hard enough as it is”

She looked at him in surprise for a second, at the crack in his solid demeanor. And that was all the time he needed, to free himself out of her grip and walk away, leaving her standing there feeling like her whole world had just crumbled to dust.

And he wished for the first time, as he stepped out the restaurant into the pouring rain, that he’d never met her.

_

“Hey, you okay?”

Hyuk’s voice broke her out of her thoughts and she lifted her head to face him sitting in front of her in the booth, smiling reflexively. “Yeah, I’m fine”

“You look a bit distracted. Is the food okay?”, He asked, looking down at his hamburger in his plate. “I’m sorry it’s nothing too formal”

“Hey, not at all! I’m the one who was against a date filled with formality remember? This is really nice”, She said back genuinely. “I’m just a bit overworked, I guess, with the society and all”

She shook her head and tried to actually savor in the flavor and aroma of the food she was eating, but it was useless because her mind was somewhere else.

She had promised Hyuk that she would go out with him, but circumstances had been such that she had to kept postponing their plans. When he had asked her again that week, she hadn’t been able to refuse, and they’d left for dinner right after they got off from the library.

But that did not stop her mind from straying far from where she was right now. Baekhyun’s face kept flashing across her mind every time Hyuk smiled at her, his rectangular smile reminding her of someone else’s. It was frustrating her to no end, and also making her feel guilty, because even if she hadn’t been very keen on the idea of dating Hyuk, she owed it to him to give this a real chance. To make some effort.

“How are they coming along? I hope it isn’t too difficult managing without Baekhyun shii”

She stopped chewing for second at the mention of the guy’s name but then continued. “Not really, I still have the others. Yixing’s especially been a great help” She went on to tell him about what they were planning for this year’s Spring Week, Baekhyun’s thoughts getting replaced with those of the event she had in mind for a while. Hyuk listened attentively, giving his opinion when it was needed like a good friend and colleague.

Friend and colleague, she felt ashamed of herself for still not being able to think of him as more than that. She looked at him, really looked at him in between their conversation and tried to picture having a romantic relationship with him, but try as she might she couldn’t bring herself to.

And the worst part was, she realized as they both walked to the bus station after filling themselves, that she didn’t think she could feel like that for anyone again. Her heart would never do those flip flops, nor would her mind go haywire like it had when she’d first fallen in love. She had long made peace with not having anyone in her life, and she had been fine these past five years.

But that night for the first time, as she lay in the dark thinking, she felt like she was missing something. Like a part of her had been taken away long ago by a boy who hadn’t even realized it, and she would never get it back again. It was forever his.

Or maybe you don’t want it back in the first place, a voice accused her in her head. And she shook her head. Of course not. Of course she didn’t want to be left hanging, with a part of her still connected to him. She had come far from being that girl.

Have you though? Have you really? She couldn’t believe she was doubting herself. Brushing away the stupid thoughts, she turned her bed and willed herself to sleep. She couldn’t for a long time, but when she finally did, her dreams were of Baekhyun in white, chasing her through a field of tulips and her running far and far out of his reach.

_

Chanyeol smiled, waving Yixing and Sehun over to their booth.

“Hi hyung, Sehun, thanks for coming”, He and the rest greeted the men who’d just arrived. Yixing looked at his friends sitting around the booth, and sighed. “This better be good, I had to leave Yoona alone to look after the auditions for this”

Baekhyun had asked Yixing to fill in his place to organize the auditions for the theatre show that was going to take place in the upcoming Spring Week. Though being the Dramatics Head, it was Kyungsoo’s job, but it wasn’t really a surprise that the guy wasn’t up for any extra-curricular activities right now. Too busy with his personal life, Yixing had thought sadly and bitterly at the same time. He was actually surprised to find Baekhyun there, he hadn’t seen the guy much with his father being in hospital and had only been able to visit him once. They exchanged a personal smile as Yixing sat down next to Junmyeon.

“Yeah, sorry for pulling you out hyung, but this is important”, Chanyeol started, gesturing to Sehun, who took a seat next to Jongin unceremoniously. He could tell the youngest would rather be any where else but there, but it was important that he get involved in this to clear everything up.

“I’m guessing you have a solution to the D.O. problem?”, Junmyeon asked.

“Is that what we’re calling it now? ‘Problem’?”, Yixing asked in a biting tone.

Chanyeol exchanged a look with rest of them. They couldn’t really blame Yixing for being bitter, it was his cousin-sister who got affected the most by Kyungsoo’s scandal after all. But Chanyeol still found it hard to digest his bitter demeanor, as he’d only ever seen the older guy optimistic and smiling. It was precisely the reason why he and Sehun needed to be there today.

“It’s not really a solution, but.....I have a theory regarding the situation”, Chanyeol said carefully.

“What is it?”, Yixing questioned, trying not to sound curious. The truth was, he himself was almost desperate to believe another reason. To believe that he hadn’t monumentally misjudged a guy who he’d known for years.

“Uhh, well, I think we would all agree that this whole engagement fiasco is beyond surprising”

“Tell me about it”, Sehun rolled his eyes.

“Well, I think it has something to do with a loan Kyungsoo told me his company took from Kim Funds, a few months ago”

“Yeah, I remember him saying something like that”, Junmyeon agreed thoughtfully.

“I think he’s being black-mailed"

There was silence at their end of the room for a second, as the revelation sank in.

“You think Nayeon is black-mailing him over money to marry her?”, Jongdae sounded skeptical.

“Not Nayeon herself necessarily”, Chanyeol shook his head. “Maybe her father or someone else in a position to do so”

“But that’s ridiculous. If they were having problems paying back the loan, Kyungsoo could have asked us and it would have been paid back in no time”, Junmyeon said. “He doesn’t have to marry her for it”

Chanyeol sighed. “And that’s the missing piece in the puzzle. I can’t figure out why he would agree to it? There has to be something bigger that they are holding over his head for him to agree to something so…..drastic”

That made them fall into thought. Now that he thought about it, Yixing could actually feel the anger at Kyungsoo dissipating out of him. He had been too quick to make assumptions; his friend might actually be getting coerced into doing this.

“So how do we find out?”, Minseok asked.

“Your guess is as good as mine”, Chanyeol shrugged.

They discussed some possibilities over the next few minutes, none of which sounded right. They thought about cornering him at home, but Jongin had already done that several times with no success.

“I sometimes feel like he’s being watched or something, the way he acts all guarded at home, he wasn’t like that before”, Jongin added.

Chanyeol thought about it for a moment. “It's possible, maybe someone is keeping an eye on him. But there’s no way to be sure”

“Actually there might be”, Junmyeon, who‘d been silently contemplating for a while now, spoke up. ”Our company has had a business relationship with Kim Corporation, let’s go and meet Kim Minjun himself, it might explain something”

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