Chapter 29 - Don't worry about it too much

Both of them went downstairs to the dining room. Yoongi’s mom prepared a really good meal, which made Jisoo happy. Her own mom didn’t really cook much, they had people working for them and their housekeeper was a better cook than Jisoo’s mom anyways, but still. Jisoo was touched by the effort that Yoongi’s mom put in the food. She wasn’t sure who she was trying to impress though, Yoongi, her or even her parents? In the end it didn’t matter because the food was really good. The funny thing was, as soon as Jisoo and Yoongi sat down they were different people. At this table they weren’t two troubled souls that tried to find a meaning in their lives. Right now, they were the perfect kids of perfect families. Everything was fake. Jisoo understood exactly why Yoongi hated eating with them, he wouldn’t be able to express himself truthfully anyways. However, both of them agreed to behave accordingly when they weren’t alone. Both of them knew that the corporation between their parents was important, therefore Jisoo definitely didn’t want to screw it up. The only times they could be themselves were the times they spent with their friends.

“Are you joining the charity event as well Jisoo?” Yoongi’s father asked. It was an annual event around Christmas time that the company of Jennie’s parents hosted every year. It was something that was all over the news every year as well. The most important thing was, who showed up with whom and who donated how much for which cause. As Jennie’s company supported a lot of different charity programs a bunch of different people attended every year. Some of them were celebrities, politicians or other influential business leaders. Jisoo knew that her parents had been going for a few years now, as they had been involved in the major political projects that were supported by Jennie’s company. So far Jisoo had never joined this event, however Jennie had been trying to pursue her to come along the entire week already. Jisoo had no interest in the event however. People would only gossip about her afterwards no matter if she behaved well or not. People would always find a flaw.

“I didn’t think about it yet, but probably not” Jisoo responded politely.

“You could bring Yoongi along as well”, Yoongi’s mother suggested.

“Yeah right…” Yoongi said with a sarcastic and bitter tone.

“It might be better to make your relationship public yourselves before the media starts to invent stories about you two. You can’t keep it a secret for long” his father explained. He was right, but Jisoo and Yoongi as well wanted to have their privacy. Especially Jisoo didn’t want to expose Yoongi to the media. She noticed Yoongi getting more and more annoyed by this conversation. It was something he didn’t want to deal with. So far no pictures were released as both of them tried to not meet too much in public. The compounds where Jisoo and Yoongi lived were protected as well. Both were areas where a lot of important people lived, therefore their privacy was pretty much guaranteed. No one wanted paparazzi photos from their own houses. Jisoo was sure they could enjoy their privacy for quite some time. She tried to change the conversation topic, but it seemed as if Yoongi’s mood was ruined anyways. After they endured the lunch Jisoo suggested to get out and Yoongi was more than happy about it.

“I can’t wait for graduation, then I can finally live somewhere else”, Yoongi sighed. Jisoo wanted to tell him that it wasn’t that bad, but for Yoongi it was. He wasn’t used to pretend. He wasn’t used to be polite to people he considered strangers. Jisoo on the other hand had years of experience.

“Sooner or later you’ll have to teach me”, he added.

“Teach you what?”

“What I’m supposed to say and at what times I should keep quiet”. He was obviously pointing out the time their relationship would become public. However, that was something Jisoo didn’t want to think about now. She grabbed his hand to have him close to her.

“How about we go to an arcade?” Jisoo suggested. She loved that place ever since the girls had brought her there. Yoongi wasn’t really in the mood to do anything but of course he agreed. After playing a few games it was enough. They decided to get something at a coffee shop close by. It suddenly started to rain outside. By the time they arrived at the coffee shop the rain was so strong, that both of them got a little soaked. They decided to just stay inside for the rain to calm down, because none of them brought an umbrella. Just sitting there was so ordinary that Jisoo felt strange. However, she loved it. Who would’ve thought she could drink coffee and eat cake with her boyfriend as if it was the most natural thing to do? Yoongi just rested his head on his hand and observed Jisoo eating cake. Jisoo didn’t mind. When he did this, he totally forgot the world around him. For Jisoo it was a chance to look at him as well without getting a teasing comment from him. She still wondered how someone could look this perfect. The only bad thing was, the longer she looked at him the faster her heart was beating. She looked away and saw the rain calming down.

“I think we’re safe to go out now” Jisoo suggested. Yoongi wasn’t all too happy about it but he got up anyways. Jisoo took his hand and both of them walked outside happily. They spent the rest of the day just talking and walking. Even though it wasn’t special or anything, it was for the two. Spending time with him was what kept Jisoo going. At the end of the day Jisoo refused that Yoongi brought her home. It bothered her that he had to go through half of the city just to bring her home. She convinced him that she was adult en0ugh to go home with a bus. Of course, she could’ve called Kim Wonhae but she still enjoyed taking the bus. Ever since she used to go to the hospital by bus, she really enjoyed riding it. It was the only time she could just look at the city and have some time to think. Standing at the bus station there were other people as well. Jisoo however didn’t care as all of them were busy with their own lives. Yoongi as well was wearing a face mask and Jisoo still had a baseball cap on that actually belonged to Yoongi. They still had a few minutes before Jisoo’s bus would arrive. She hugged Yoongi tightly. He returned the embrace and put his arms around her. Jisoo felt so safe in his arms.

“Why is the time I’m separated from you so long and the time I spend with you so short?” Jisoo asked herself quietly.

“I know right…” Yoongi answered and started playing with her hair again. “Your bus is coming” he added. Why was the stupid bus coming now? Jisoo unwillingly freed herself from the hug and got onto the bus. She would hear his voice again later but still, she didn’t want to leave. Sometimes she felt as if she was glued to him. Arriving at home she had dinner with her parents. Everything seemed to adjust slowly. Her parents kept the new seating arrangements and they also seemed to care more about her wellbeing than they used to in the past. They asked her if she wanted to join the Christmas charity event, as it would be an image booster for her parent’s political image. Even though the public was quite fond of them, the whole story with Seokjin’s death and Jisoo’s behavior lately gave them a little setback. Jisoo wasn’t really in the mood for any kind of pubic event but she promised her parents to give it a thought. Just before she went to sleep, she talked to Yoongi again and told him about her parents wish.

“I mean it would show everyone that you’re still doing fine. At least for the press I mean” Yoongi said.

“I know but I didn’t want to live like that anymore”.

“We both know you still have to, at least to a certain extend”.

“I guess so…” Jisoo sighed.

“I mean… well… sooner or later you’ll have to teach me how to do it anyways”.

Jisoo didn’t understand what he was trying to get at. “How to do what?”.

“You know… answer question I don’t want to be asked or explaining my life without telling them anything delicate” he answered. He was talking about the time they couldn’t keep their relationship a secret. The time they would have to face the public opinion. Why was he bringing it up so often lately?

“What I’m trying to say is… if we have to make it public, we can just do it then. It would do your parents a favor and you wouldn’t have to go alone” Yoongi suggested.

Jisoo was a little speechless. Was he trying to tell her to go to the event with her? “You would really do this for me?”

“I’ll do anything for you Jisoo, but I’m getting sick and tired of hiding. I don’t want to think about people looking at us. I don’t want to fear the consequences of holding your hand or kissing you when other people are around. I just want to be with you freely. It’s just tiring.”

Jisoo felt a little uncomfortable hearing this. She didn’t know what to feel. Yoongi rather gave up his privacy for her than to continue to mind how her life was all tangled up. He rather wanted to expose himself than to continue to hide his love for her. It made Jisoo happy and sad at the same time. When would he ever put himself first? How could he give her the world, when she could only burden him even more in return? It was unfair. As they promised each other to always talk about their fears or thoughts Jisoo told him that she wasn’t sure what to do, but he encouraged her to think about it. There were still a few weeks left until the event would take place therefore Jisoo could still come up with a plan to prevent it. She just had to convince Yoongi that having privacy was better. It wasn’t that she didn’t want the public to know. If she could she would just tell the entire world how lucky she was to have him, but she had experienced first hand how the public pressure could destroy someone. Even though she was strong, she knew enough people her age that couldn’t deal with the press and the media. Careers and public images were destroyed and therefore also their standard of living. Jisoo didn’t want to drag Yoongi into this kind of environment. She wanted to keep him away from that for as long as possible. Yoongi understood her position but still kept telling her to think about it.

Jisoo couldn’t sleep all night long. She had too many scenarios in her head. On the one hand she was excited about his suggestion. It would be so amazing to go to this event with the love of her life all fancy, however, no one could predict what the media would report the next day. It drove her crazy. She was so tired that she was almost too late to get to school on time the next day. She just ran downstairs and took a piece of toast to eat on the way. Her parents had a weird look on their faces but Jisoo didn’t have time for that.

“Jisoo sweetie” her dad said just before she ran out of the dinning room. She turned around to check what he wanted. “Don’t worry about it too much OK?” her dad said. Was he still worried if she was ready to join the charity event? Or was it just her who had nothing else in her thoughts than that stupid party? Jisoo just smiled and nodded while chewing on her toast and went outside. Arriving at school Jisoo noticed people staring at her and whispering. What was going on? She pretended not to care and ignored them. Still she heard some comments that confused her.

“She really is something”

“I think she actually went crazy this time”

“What must her parents say about this?”

“…so embarrassing!”

Jisoo tried to not pay attention too much and just went straight to her classroom. Everything was quiet when she entered. Jisoo looked around only to find everyone staring at her. She tried to ignore it and went to her seat. “Good morning” she said to Kim Jiwon. Usually he was super excited when she arrived, but today he didn’t even look at her and ignored her completely. What was going on?

Cho Miyeon one of her classmates finally broke the silence. She was the daughter of a lawyer couple that was quite well known in Seoul as they have never lost a case before. She usually behaved as if she was the Queen of this school, even though her grades weren’t even that good. What annoyed her the most however was, that she couldn’t compete with Jennie. Compared to Jennie, Cho Miyeon was not friendly and was just overall too self-confident even though she wasn’t outstanding in any way. Of course she was pretty, but being pretty was nothing special in this school full of rich kids. Jisoo never understood what gave Miyeon the right to behave like that but she actually never really wasted a thought on this girl.

Miyeon walked up to her and stood right next to her desk with crossed arms and looked down on Jisoo. “So you got yourself a little street rat? That’s so ridiculous Jisoo! Don’t ruin the image of our school”, she said in a sassy tone. What? Jisoo didn’t understand what she was trying to say. “What exactly do you want?” Jisoo asked pretty annoyed.

“I’m just letting you know that everyone is talking about you behind your back. I’m just trying to be nice and ask you directly if it’s true, but by the looks of it you don’t have standards at all”. Jisoo still didn’t know what she was talking about, but some of Miyeons friends or rather minions came over as well. Jisoo felt like she was at an investigation.

“Why would you date someone like that?”

“Don’t you have pride? Your parents must be so disappointed in you”

“It seems like he isn’t well off…”

Were they talking about her and Yoongi? How did they find out anyways? Did someone see them together? That wasn’t possible, they were always pretty discreet. Jisoo pretended not to know what they were talking about. “I don’t know what you mean”, she said confidently. Finally, Kim Jiwon turned around and put his smartphone on Jisoo’s desk. “I guess you didn’t read the top news this morning yet”, he said without emotion.

Jisoo took the phone and looked on the screen. For a short moment Jisoo froze. What the hell?! It was a news article about her! “Politician’s daughter Kim Jisoo is dating a street dancer” was the title. Jisoo’s heart began to race like crazy. There was even a picture of them in the coffee shop yesterday. Damn it! The only time she just didn’t care people took pictures of them. Why were others so interested in her life? She hated it. Why did this get published at this very moment? Why now? They put so much effort in protecting Yoongi and now his face was on pretty much every gossip newspaper. Jisoo tried not to freak out. She didn’t want to tell her classmates anything, she didn’t have to justify her happiness. “Well…” she started while trying to find the right words. “Who I’m dating is none of your business”.

“He probably just wants your money Jisoo”

“We’re just trying to help you out, we know you had a rough couple of months but that doesn’t mean you need to rebel like this”

Jisoo was so annoyed. They didn’t know anything about Yoongi. This was exactly what she had been afraid of, the press saying things about Yoongi that weren’t true. They knew nothing about him but judged him anyways. Jisoo was raging on the inside. To her luck the school bell was ringing and her homeroom teacher just came in. Some students were still staring at her but Jisoo tried to ignore them as much as possible. At lunch time Jennie was waiting for her in the cafeteria concerned.

“Are you OK Jisoo?” Jennie asked. “Some stupid kids were asking me how I can be friends with you even though your life was such a mess right now. I was ready to punch them in the face”. Jisoo had to laugh a bit. She was glad to have her friend on her side. “They are going to regret everything they said when they find out who Yoongi really is” Jennie said bitterly. “But even if he would be someone ordinary, why do they even care? They don’t know anything about him!”. Jisoo just smiled and pocked around in her food. Jennie tried to lift up her mood. It did work a little bit. It was the first time Jisoo checked her phone all day. Even before school she had three missed calls from Jennie. Lisa and Chaeyoung also texted her. Even Namjoon, Hoseok and Taehyung sent her a message saying she should cheer up. Even though this entire situation was all messed up and weird Jisoo had to smile. It felt so nice to be included in her group of friends. The support she got from them was amazing. She finally had people in her life she could really rely on. The latest message she had gotten was from Yoongi, asking her to call her during lunch break. Jisoo still had about twenty minutes left. She told Jennie and went up to the rooftop to have a quiet place to talk.

“How are you doing?” he asked as soon as she called him.

“I’m supposed to ask you this…”

“We knew this would happen rather sooner than later”

“But now everything went out of control” Jisoo sighed.

“You can’t always be in control Jisoo… you and I know this better than anyone else. I know what you meant now. I’m basically a star at my school. Everyone wants to be my friend all of a sudden” Yoongi joked.

“I’m sorry…” Jisoo said devastated. Yoongi told her not to worry about it too much. Just like he always did.

“I guess we’ll have to make it public for real then, but you have to teach me how to behave at the charity event before that” Yoongi laughed.

The week went by with a lot of noise. People were still gossiping about Jisoo and her apparently bad taste in men and the press tried to find out more about the two. Yoongi however had never been associated with his parents in the media or with Jennie’s company in general. All the press knew about was that Yoongi was part of a street dance crew and what school he attended. The only explanation the media could find for Yoongi to attend such a good school was that he had gotten a scholarship. Other than that, they assumed that Yoongi and Jisoo just started dating due to Jisoo’s mental state after the loss of her brother. They also assumed that Yoongi used Jisoo to become famous. Basically, everything they knew about him was wrong, just like everything they thought they knew about Jisoo was wrong as well. It made Jisoo angry. How could they turn the best human being Jisoo knew into someone so greedy and selfish? It was Jisoo who was the most selfish and greedy though. She didn’t care if the press wrote bad things about her, but she didn’t want it to happen to Yoongi. Her parents even postponed their trip to Africa to a later time, because they didn’t want to leave Jisoo alone in this situation.

When Jisoo finally met Yoongi on Wednesday he seemed fine on the outside. She knew it troubled him as well but he didn’t want to worry Jisoo. Both of them were anxious and both of them knew it. They decided to meet with everyone at Jisoo’s house on Friday to discuss what was going to happen from now on. Even though it was something connected to Jisoo and Yoongi, both of them were scared that it could affect their other friends as well.

That Friday Yoongi came a bit early. Jisoo’s parents were out on a business dinner therefore the two could just be comfortable with each other. Jisoo’s parents didn’t mind the friends coming over or Yoongi and Jisoo spending intimate time together, however Jisoo just didn’t want her parents to see herself with Yoongi all lovely-dovely. Jisoo loved to use this chance to have Yoongi for herself a bit before her friends would come by. They the TV and just cuddled on the couch. However, Jisoo could never pay attention to the program. Her heart was beating like crazy. She felt stupid. How could she still feel like this after being with him for quite some time now? The tension in the air was almost unbearable for her. The two of them being home alone, all close to each other on the couch made her imagination go wild. Yoongi put his arm around Jisoo’s waist and pulled her even closer and it made Jisoo blush. If her friends wouldn’t show up soon, Jisoo wasn’t sure if she could control herself for much longer. Sometimes Jisoo did feel mature enough. She wanted all of him and she wanted to experience everything with him. Everything he made her feel whenever he kissed her was so beautiful and indescribable that Jisoo became more and more greedy. Sometimes she just wanted to go far away with Yoongi, to a place where no one knew them and where they could just do whatever they wanted without being disturbed. Before Jisoo could think about it more, the doorbell finally rang. Jisoo was glad. The tension inside of her was too much and Yoongi seemed to have noticed, as he just grinned at her when she came back in with the girls. Lisa and Jisoo went to the kitchen to bring out the food that the housekeeper had prepared for her and her friends. It was delicious. They decided to just sit in the living room as some of the boys were probably not too comfortable to eat all fancy at the big table. Soon after that the boys arrived as well.

“Wow, I didn’t imagine your house to be this fancy!” Jungkook said.

“Yah! Kim Jisoo, you really are a princess” Hoseok joked.

At first the boys felt a little uncomfortable, but after they saw the girls and Yoongi just chilling in the living room they were getting a little more comfortable. Jisoo just sitting down on the floor in front of the TV helped a lot as well. All of them started eating happily, as the food was amazing as always. Their housekeeper could’ve just opened a restaurant. Chaeyoung, Jimin and Taehyung offered to clean up, while the others just sat comfortably on the couch to watch TV. Jisoo went around the couch to the other end where Yoongi was sitting. As she wanted to sit down next to him Yoongi automatically grabbed her arm and made her sit in front of him. He loved to sit like this. Jisoo was convinced that this was his favorite position as he liked to put his hands on her belly. He pulled her closer so that Jisoo could feel his warm chest on her back. Jisoo put her hands on top of his and leaned back. This really was the most comfortable way to watch TV.

“Gross…” Jennie whispered from the side.

“Don’t be jealous Jennie” Yoongi joked without looking at her. Jisoo had to giggle.

When the three friends were done with cleaning the dishes and came back to the living room they started discussing the next steps. Jennie explained the whole event as it was arranged by her parents.

“Jisoo and Yoongi should just come with their parents and then the two can make it public on the red carpet”.

“After that a lot of people might be interested in you guys as well” Jisoo said looking at the boys. “The media likes to know every single detail, therefore Jennie and I are going to teach you how to ignore these kinds of people and how to deal with them from now on.”

“They are going to ask questions not only about Jisoo, Yoongi or me. They will also want to know a lot about you. After a few months they should lose their interest in all of us, but until then we have to work together to make this work for everyone” Jennie explained.

It was true. So far they were only interested in Yoongi’s identity, but sooner or later they would start to dig into his surroundings. Yoongi’s classmates have already been contacted by some news platforms, but of course they couldn’t say anything, as none of them really knew Yoongi.

“Why aren’t you just releasing an article right now? Don’t you have to means for it?” Jimin asked.

“Because Yoongi still needs to learn a lot, and I want to hit the stupid people at our school in the face with this event” Jennie announced proudly. Jisoo thought it was cute how much Jennie was annoyed by the comments in school. Everyone else seemed to agree though. Yoongi however didn’t really say anything. The rest of the evening they kept talking and joking around about how these two would be the most famous couple in Korea for a short time. Later all of their friends left, but Yoongi stayed behind. Jisoo didn’t want to be alone in her big house. They went back to the couch where both of them shared each other’s worries. Jisoo was so scared that this would destroy their relationship as it was right now, but Yoongi kept arguing that nothing would change.

“Once you start to have a certain image, it’s hard to know the difference between the real you and the person you’re pretending to be. I’m just scared that they’ll break us apart” Jisoo said.

“As long as we tell each other and have the support from the people that are important to us we can do it. Why are you worrying so much already? You can worry when the day actually arrives. Besides, Jennie and you are going to teach me the important things, right?”

Jisoo just nodded and buried her face in his hoodie. He was right, as long as they had each other nothing could break them apart. She wouldn’t let anyone do it.

Jisoo didn’t even notice that both of them had fallen asleep, when her parents came into the living room. It seemed like they were a little surprised to see Jisoo and Yoongi sleeping on the couch. The two sleepyheads slowly woke up, for Yoongi however it was really awkward. Of course Jisoo’s parents liked him, but that didn’t mean that he felt comfortable around them. Jisoo’s parents as well as Yoongi’s parents had this aura around them, that just didn’t make someone feel at home. It always felt as if talking to a stranger.

“I didn’t expect you to still be here Yoongi” Jisoo’s mom said. “Do you want me to prepare the guestroom so you can stay overnight?”.

Jisoo was a little shocked. Did her mom literally just allow her boyfriend to stay overnight? It was so strange that none of them knew how to react. “It’s set then. Jisoo you show him the room later”, she sighed. Her parents seemed to be exhausted, it was probably a business dinner with a lot of disagreements. Her parents just walked upstairs and left the two alone in the living room. Both of them were quiet and it was really awkward. Jisoo obviously didn’t want him to leave, but Yoongi seemed to be hesitant.

“So… do you want to stay or do you prefer to go to Namjoon’s place?” Jisoo asked. If he would leave now, she knew that he wouldn’t go to his own house. He hated that place.

“What do you want me to do?” he asked gently.

Jisoo didn’t need to answer. She stood up from the couch and took his hand to make him get up as well. He followed her like a little puppy as usual. Jisoo however went straight to her room with him.

“So that’s the guest room?” Yoongi joked. Jisoo just glared at him. Then she went to her wardrobe and pulled out the hoodie that she had borrowed from Yoongi back when they didn’t really know each other. She threw it at him and then took some clothes to change into as well.

“You still have this?” Yoongi asked perplexed.

“Let’s just say I had a crush on you for a long time”, she said angrily. At the same time, she was blushing and decided to go to the bathroom quickly. While changing, her heart was starting to beat faster and faster. She had shorts on because she usually slept in these. Were they a bit too short? Why did she even care? It wasn’t the first time she slept in the same bed with him! There was nothing to worry about! Jisoo then realized that this was the very first time Yoongi had been in her room. She had been over to Yoongi’s house quite a lot, but they always just ended up being in his room, as he hated everything else in that building. Jisoo’s house however was usually quite comfortable. However, she preferred not to be at home, because she didn’t want to deal with her parents and Seokjin’s reminder. When Jisoo came back into her room Yoongi was wearing the other hoodie, while sitting on her desk going through her drawing notebook. There wasn’t really anything interesting in her room anyways. There were no pictures on the wall, there were basically just books to study and some drawings. Jisoo sat on her bed, when Yoongi noticed her.

“Did you miss me lately?” he asked and showed her a drawing of his face.

Jisoo was embarrassed. “Yah! Stop looking at that!” Yoongi just smirked. He closed the notebook and went around the bed. He just went under the blanked and closed his eyes. Was he actually just going to sleep now? Jisoo was a bit perplexed. Was he actually tired or was he trying to make the situation less awkward? After a few moments Yoongi opened his eyes again to find Jisoo staring at him. “You should go to sleep too”. Jisoo just nodded like a robot. She went under the blanket as well and faced him. He was still looking at her, which made her blush even more. She didn’t want him to see it and buried her face on his chest. He didn’t move for a while, which made Jisoo look up to him again. He opened his eyes again. Jisoo’s heart was beating so loud that she was sure that he would be able to hear it. Yoongi kissed her on her forehead. Jisoo’s blood started rushing through her veins. It had been so long to have him close like this next to her. Finally, she realized that she wasn’t the only nervous one. His heart was beating like crazy as well. Then she just kissed him on his lips. It was indescribable what he made her feel just with his lips. His touch, his taste, everything was simply perfect. He pulled her closer, while his hands slowly moved under her shirt. The feeling of his hands on her skin made her go crazy. Her hands started to move around as well. Every time Jisoo touched him she was amazed how muscular he was, even though he was really skinny. The tension was immense and almost unbearable. Jisoo was panicking a little. Even though she wanted to go further, she wasn’t ready. Like always, Yoongi noticed anyways. He took his hands off of her and pulled his head back a little to let both of them breath. He pushed back Jisoo’s hair that was all over her face and smiled at her. He kissed her on the forehead again and pulled her closer. His head was on top of hers now. It reminded her so much of the summer night on the rooftop. It made her calm down slowly. Him holding her like this made her feel safe just like she felt back in the institution.

Jisoo’s heart was still beating like crazy but slowly she managed to breathe regularly. She had to think back at everything that had happened the last couple of months. Losing Seokjin was the worst, but at the same time finding Yoongi was the most beautiful thing in her life.

“We should just turn off the light and go to sleep” Yoongi suggested. He was right… they had a rough couple of weeks ahead of them. But with Yoongi next to her it was probably the only chance for her to sleep tight. With him next to her she was save and Yoongi wouldn’t have nightmares. They had to prepare themselves for what was coming next.