Chapter 17 - Back to School

The first night back in her home was weird. She was pretty much alone in her big house. Her parents weren’t there, only the housekeeper. At first she couldn’t fall asleep. She was still thinking of how to contact Yoongi. She was wondering if turning her phone off was the wrong decision. Maybe she should’ve kept trying to call him. Then on the other hand, if he really tried to run away it was no use to keep calling him anyways. Jisoo didn’t know what time she fell asleep, but it was already past 1PM in the afternoon when she got up the next day. She still had the entire weekend before going back to school, but she didn’t know what to do with her time. For the last three months her every day was scheduled. At first Jisoo hated it, but now she didn’t even know what to do without a schedule. She had no idea of what to do with her time. She slowly got up and went into the kitchen to find something to eat. Or course the housemaid had already prepared some food for her. Jisoo ate it and of course it was good, but it somehow lacked the warm feeling of Mrs. Park’s food. Jisoo had to laugh about herself. She was out for only one day, but somehow missed the people in the institution already. The first time she arrived there she just wanted to get out. Now she didn’t know what she actually liked anymore. There was nothing to do in the house. Everything was too neat and too clean.

It left her with no other choice but to go out. She wanted to search for him. She just had to find him, no matter what. Jisoo went into the city to the place she had seen them perform for the very first time, but there was no sign of them anywhere. There were so many people, that no one really noticed Jisoo. She was glad people didn’t stare at her. After walking around town for about two hours she gave up for now. She kept walking around and ended up at Han river. She sat down and just looked at the sparkling water. Again, she felt useless. How could it be that there was nothing she wanted to do? It wasn’t normal to just not do anything.

Jisoo decided to go into a library nearby and check out medical books. If she wanted to become a doctor it was better to start studying sooner rather than later. She didn’t notice what time it was, when a guy came over and politely asked her to leave. It was already 11PM and they closed the library. Practically the day was over but Jisoo wasn’t ready to go home. She slept till early in the afternoon, so she wasn’t tired enough to go to sleep whatsoever. She wanted to let her energy out by walking home. To her luck she thought of taking her phone for once, that way she wouldn’t lose the right direction. It took her about one and a half hour to get home but it was nice to breathe in the fresh air. It was almost autumn, so the weather was really refreshing. Arriving at home she tried to sleep but was wide awake almost the entire night.

The next day she just used to search for the best medical programs in each university. Tomorrow was her first day of school, so she should at least come up with a plan of what to concentrate on this year. She was getting nervous as she didn’t know what the other kids would say to her. At least her parents would be coming home soon.

By the time her parents arrived Jisoo was already waiting in the living room. She wasn’t really excited to see them, but it was just simply the right thing to do. As soon as they came in, Jisoo got up to greet them. Her dad came over and hugged her like he never did before.

“I’m so glad you’re home, my princess”, he said. Jisoo was a little perplexed at first but then returned the hug as well. He father had never been an emotional person, but he did love her as if she were his real daughter. Jisoo knew that and she also saw him as her dad. For her it didn’t matter if her dead and Seokjin weren’t the typical dad and brother, to her it never made a difference. It felt nice to be loved. After they were done hugging her dad gave her a kiss on her head. Then her mother came over and hugged her as well. Jisoo couldn’t remember the last time she had hugged her parents that tightly. It felt like she didn’t see them for years, even though only three months have passed. She never really missed them to begin with, but it was still nice to have them around now.

“Let’s eat!” her mom announced. The housekeeper set the table and brought the food. However, she put down the plate on the space at the very end of the long table like she usually would. Usually her dad was sitting at the head and next to him Seokjin and her mother. Now the table seemed to be set for her parents and Seokjin, which made Jisoo really uncomfortable. She just stared at the table without moving. She didn’t think it would be that hard to come back home and see how they tried to go back to a normal life. Nothing in this family had ever been normal anyways.

“I’m not going to sit there…” Jisoo whispered. Her dad heard what she said and put an arm around her shoulders.

“We will have to get used to this from now on sweetie…”, he tried to console her.

“No!” Jisoo told him. “I’m not going to sit there!”

“Then how about we do something new and change the seating arrangements?”, her mother suggested. Jisoo was surprised that her mother even cared to make such a suggestion, but Jisoo nodded. She felt relieved that her parents did this for her. They changed the entire arrangements. Jisoo’s was still sitting in her seat, but her dad was now to her left and her mother right across from her.

“At least this way we get a new perspective on the living room”, her mother tried to lift the mood.

“Thanks…”, Jisoo said. Both of her parents looked at her with a surprised face. What was this look about? Did she never say thank you in the past or what was their problem now? Jisoo decided to ignore it and waited for them to start eating. During dinner they talked about Jisoo’s doctors and what she learned in class. She tried to tell them as much details as possible, without revealing anything that was too personal. If Seokjin would’ve been there she would’ve told him everything, but she couldn’t just tell her parents all of her thoughts. However, Jisoo didn’t mention the most important detail, she just didn’t feel like mentioning him. Then they talked about the new projects her parents had. They were supporting several projects in poor countries in Western Africa, which was why they had to travel there next month. Jisoo was glad that the dinner was somewhat normal, at the same time it bothered her that it was this normal. Were they not going to talk about Seokjin? Were they just planning to ignore the fact that nothing in this situation was normal? It had only been three months! How could they already be over it?

Jisoo didn’t want to start a scene on their first night home though. She wanted to show them that she changed for the better. She wanted them to be proud of her as well and tried to be on her best behavior. After dinner they sat down on the big couch in the living room and watched the news on TV together.

“I’m going to sleep, it’s going to be an eventful day tomorrow I guess”, Jisoo announced after the news were over.

“OK, have a good sleep sweetie” her dad said.

“Show them that you’re the best”, her mother encouraged her. Jisoo went upstairs but didn’t enter her room yet. She knew it was wrong but she still listened for a while if her parents were talking about her. She never really had a truthful conversation with them, that’s why if she would tell them about her depression or her anxiety, they would only be worried. On the other hand Jisoo doubted that they would even understand her.

“I’m worried, what if they bully her?”, she heard her dad saying.

“They wouldn’t dare… She didn’t go to school for that long because of Seokjin and the students know this as well. If they would bully her now they would be monsters”, her mother assured him.

“Kids these days are terrible though. I hope she gets through the first week safely.”

“Don’t worry, she will make friends again and it’s only one more year. She can do it”, her mother told her dad.

Jisoo was kind of happy that her mother trusted her and that her dad was worried for her. All the care she had gotten in the past all came from her brother. She never really noticed if her parents actually cared, but this was nice. She wanted to tell Seokjin about this, he would be excited as well, but of course she couldn’t. Jisoo decided to wash up and go straight to bed. She had to be ready for tomorrow. To her surprise she fell right asleep. The next morning Jisoo got up pretty quickly and got ready for school. She decided not to put on make up. If she wanted to change she could as well go through with it. At the same time she was still looking for Yoongi. He had never seen her wearing make up, that’s why she was scared that he might not be able to recognize her. Jisoo knew that this thought was ridiculous, but she also started to like her natural face more than the mask she would put on with all that make up. She went downstairs to eat breakfast. Her parents were already busy with eating and reading the newspapers, while sticking to the new seating arrangement. As soon as she joined her dad looked up.

“Are you going to school like this?”, he asked.

“Yes… Why? Does it look terrible?”

“No! I really like it”, he said and smiled at her. Jisoo sat down and ate her breakfast quickly. Then she quickly went back upstairs. While brushing her teeth she had to think of her parents. They weren’t bad people. Actually they were super nice! Jisoo hated herself for always whining and feeling neglected. She knew her parents loved her, they just expressed it differently. While coming back down Jisoo gave both of her parents a kiss, as she left through the front door.

Kim Wonhae was already waiting for Jisoo. “It’s the big day today…”, he said.

Jisoo just nodded. They drove towards the school, which took them about thirty minutes. Jisoo couldn’t say anything the entire ride. She was too nervous.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be just fine”, Kim Wonhae eventually said.

Jisoo was thankful. She did have great people in her life already, she just needed to find some of these here in school as well. “Thanks”, she said while getting out of the car. She pulled her bag close to her and walked straight up to the main building. She already knew her schedule, so it was easy to find her way to her new classroom. She knew every corner of this school anyways. She noticed some students looking at her and whispering something behind her back, but she didn’t want to know any of it. She walked through the hallways with a confident attitude. She did hear some students arguing about what had happened to her.

“I heard she was on a super expensive vacation in the States”

“As far as I know she was in rehab for drugs”

“She probably just didn’t want to come to school”

…

Jisoo tried to ignore the talk as much as she could. Arriving in front of her classroom she stopped for a brief moment to collect her strength. She breathed in deeply once and opened the door. The ongoing talk in the room vanished as soon as everyone noticed her standing there. Jisoo wasn’t sure what to do and just stood there smiling awkwardly. After only a few seconds the entire class started to ask her questions. She knew all of them, therefore she knew that they just wanted to know everything in order to gossip about it later on. All of her so-called friends pretended to care and Jisoo hated it already. Usually she would’ve tried to make up a lie or invent a story that was believable enough. Today she just wasn’t in the mood. She walked to an empty table in the corner of the room. “This seat isn’t taken right?”, she asked her classmate who was sitting in front of the table. The boy needed a few seconds to answer. “No, go ahead”, he said. Jisoo sat down and took out her books. Then she opened one of them to start preparing for class, at least she pretended to. She wasn’t really reading any of the words, but she tried to avoid to have a conversation with anyone. She didn’t feel like explaining anything to these people. Even though she actually did consider some of them as friends when all of them were still younger, she knew it better now. She knew exactly that she couldn’t count or rely on anyone in this room. To her convenience the others didn’t try to pressure her and just got back to their own conversations. The first obstacle was conquered. Jisoo sighed in relief. The boy who was sitting in front of her turned around again.

“Are you OK?”, he asked Jisoo. Jisoo was a bit perplexed. Kim Jiwon, a boy she never really spoke to asked how she was? She was not expecting it. She wasn’t sure if he just wanted to know more or if he was really concerned for her, but Jisoo was glad he didn’t ask anything else. She just smiled at him and nodded her head. Luckily the bell rang right in that moment, therefore Jisoo didn’t have to force herself to have a conversation or anything. She wasn’t planning on getting involved too much anyways. She only had one year left. She didn’t need these people and she certainly didn’t want them in her life again. Her disappointment when none of them cared for her when Seokjin became sick, was just too big.

The teacher came in and ordered silence. He took attendance. Arriving at Jisoo’s name he seemed a bit surprised, that Jisoo was actually there but he didn’t mind her any further. Then school just started as it should. To her surprise Jisoo didn’t feel left behind in class. In fact she already knew everything they were talking about in class, even though it seemed to be unfamiliar to the others. Jisoo felt like calling Ms. Choi to thank her for teaching her so well. It seemed like Jisoo advanced way more than she thought. After one or two hours Jisoo was so bored, that she took out her notebook to draw something. She scrolled through the pages and stopped at a picture of her brother. She really missed him, she wanted him to appear again and tell her what to do, but he didn’t show up for quite some time now. Jisoo opened an empty page and started drawing. At the same time she still tried to pay a little bit of attention to class, as she didn’t want to stand out on her first day back at school. That was how the morning just went by.

The bell for lunch break got everyone excited. Everyone started to talk again. It was way to chaotic for Jisoo. She almost missed her boring and organized life in the institute. However she needed to eat something so she got up eventually. The school’s cafeteria was amazing, which was why none of them ever brought food from home. No one asked Jisoo to join them though. Not that she wanted to eat with anyone in here, however she kind of expected some of her old “friends” to at least ask her out of politeness. At the same time she was glad. She didn’t want to talk about the last three months. She went to the cafeteria by herself, piled food on her tray and sat down at a smaller empty table. She did hear some voices and whispers that were talking about her, but she tried to ignore them. The voices probably came from other students that weren’t in her class. In this school everyone knew about everyone, therefore Jisoo’s personal situation was no secret in here. Just as she started eating a girl came over to sit right across from her. Jisoo was a bit flustered and looked up. It was Jennie Kim.

Jisoo knew Jennie. She was super popular in school. She had moved back to Korea last year. However she grew up in New Zeeland. She was extremely pretty and apparently super nice. Jisoo was confused. Why was this girl sitting right across from her? She noticed the other students in the cafeteria staring at their table and felt super uncomfortable. Jisoo was curious herself. She knew that Jennie was in the same grade as her, but she never actually talked to her. Jennies reputation was quite special. She never really cared about what she said. She had her own views and if others didn’t agree she just didn’t care. Even though she was super popular in school she never really hung out with anyone in school. To Jisoo it always felt like a Princess that just saw everyone else as a servant. To her Jennie always seemed a bit arrogant, but maybe it was Jisoo’s jealousy. Truthfully, ever since Jennie came to this school, Jisoo wanted to know more about her. All she knew was that her parents owned one of the biggest conglomerates in the country, therefore everyone tried to be her friend. Jennie usually preferred to do things on her own. She rejected people in a really polite manner, which was why everyone still kept trying. Jisoo always wondered why Jennie never behaved like others, she wanted to be a bit like her.

“Actually that’s my table, but I’ll let you sit here”, Jennie smiled and started eating. Even while eating she still looked beautiful. It annoyed Jisoo.

“I know this might be interesting, but we’re just two classmates who are trying to eat. So it would be super nice of you all, if you just did the same”, Jennie eventually said loudly while looking around. She said it with so much charm in her voice that Jisoo could literally see all the boys melting away. The girls on the other hand were jealous, it was so obvious. Strangely people did start to mind their own business again. At the same time Jisoo wondered, why she was even surprised by it. Everyone in here was a little star themselves. All of these kids’ parents knew each other and so did the rest of the country. No one in here was ordinary.

Jisoo tried to ignore Jennie and just kept eating.

“Ok, they are done staring. I guess we can talk now”, Jennie said while finishing her rice. Jisoo wasn’t sure what to think about this. What did she want to talk about? Did she want to know something about her mysterious last three months? Or was she actually trying to become friends with her?

“About what?”, Jisoo asked perplexed.

Jennie’s smiling and lovable face turned into a weird facial expression. It was somewhat arrogant but she also looked scared. “What happened between you and Yoongi?”

This question felt like someone just hit Jisoo right into her stomach. Just what the hell was going on? Just hearing his name Jisoo had to think of so many things at the same time. Jennie knew Yoongi, and it sounded like he wasn’t doing so well just by the way she asked and by her facial expression. What was going on with him and where was he? How did these two know each other anyways?

“Wh… What do… do you mean?” Jisoo stuttered.

“Don’t play dumb… I know you two have a thing. What happened between you two? I know you did something to make him this way”   

Jisoo wondered how much Jennie knew. Jisoo couldn’t quite classify her feelings. She was angry at this random girl who came up to talk to her about her Yoongi. She was sad that Jennie knew something she didn’t. She felt scared that Yoongi wasn’t doing well. But most of all she felt devastated as she couldn’t contact him.

“What do you mean by making him this way? Is he not doing well?”

“Are you trying to joke with me right now? He’s nothing like he should be, and as far as I heard from the boys you’re the reason”.

The boys? Did she talk about Yoongi’s crew? What the hell was going on here? She wanted an explanation.

“I don’t really know what’s going on here… but has been out of reach for a few weeks…”, just by thinking about not being able to call him Jisoo’s heart shrank together. Jennie’s facial expression changed all of a sudden.

“Wait… are you trying to say you didn’t dump him?”, she asked.

Jisoo was shocked. What in the world was this conversation? Did she actually think Jisoo broke up with Yoongi? They didn’t even have an official relationship or anything similar. She just liked him way too much to accept the situation.

“No… I mean… we weren’t exactly together”, Jisoo explained.

“Then did he break up the relationship?”

“Sort of I guess…” Jisoo said with a sad voice, while continuing to eat. She didn’t want to continue on with this conversation. Why was this girl getting involved anyways?

“What’s that supposed to mean?”, Jennie asked furiously.

Jisoo didn’t know what to reply and just shrugged her shoulders. Jisoo was quite happy to hear the bell. Lunch break was over. She didn’t feel like continuing to talk to Jennie. Even though she was always interested in that girl, she had lost her interest now. She didn’t like it when people got involved in her life and seemed to know everything better than herself.

“Wait!”, Jennie said as Jisoo got up from the table. “Give me your phone real quick… I’ll give you my phone number. Maybe we can talk again after class”.

Jisoo had no intention to give Jennie her phone number. On the other hand… maybe Jennie was the only option to find Yoongi. Jisoo hesitated and eventually gave Jennie her phone. Jennie then saved her number and called her own phone to save Jisoo’s number as well. She gave Jisoo her phone back and got up quickly. “I’ll text you after class OK?”, she said without waiting for Jisoo’s reaction. Jisoo sighed. Great… her first day was nothing like it should be. People stared at her, they were whispering behind her back and on top of it all there was this girl getting involved in things Jisoo didn’t want to talk to anyone about. She just wanted to finish her last year of High School quietly. She didn’t want to be the center of attention, but it seemed like all students were interested as in why Jennie wanted to sit with Jisoo. Usually no one was “worthy” enough to sit with Jennie. It seemed like everyone thought Jennie was the Queen of this school. Of course they weren’t too amused by Jisoo being “chosen”. This situation was simply ridiculous. Jisoo didn’t even know what to think anymore, but if she really could get in contact with Yoongi she would endure the badmouthing and the stares as well.

Back in the classroom the whispering continued. Jisoo just sat down, opened her book for the next class and started reading a few pages until their teacher came in. The rest of the day worked out to her advantage, as all the teachers were really strict from day one. They all had to prepare for the University entrance exams after all. At the end of the last period Jisoo got up quickly. She just wanted to get out of this school, however her classroom teacher stopped her from exiting the room.

“Jisoo, wait a second”, he said. Jisoo walked back to her teacher and bowed politely. “How was your first day back in school? Did you have troubles following?”, he asked.

Jisoo was surprised by his care but was a little thankful anyways. “No everything was fine. Actually, I think I can follow pretty well. Thank you for your concern”, Jisoo answered even more polite than before. She needed fresh air, quickly. It seemed as the teacher was happy with Jisoo’s answer and let her go. Jisoo walked out of the school building as fast as she could without running. She just wanted to have her peace and quiet again. It was too noisy in here and if she had to stay just one more minute, she would definitely freak out.

While walking to the parking lot, where Kim Wonhae should be waiting for Jisoo, her phone vibrated. She got a message from Jennie.

5:26PM ~  let’s meet at the coffee place next to the Hair saloon close to our school at 6PM. Please come… I can help you contact Yoongi

Jisoo hated this. Was this girl trying to blackmail her or something? She could just send her Yoongi’s phone number via message. However, Jisoo couldn’t let this chance slide… She wanted to know what was going on with him.