Sometimes the best way to stay close to someone you love is by being just a friend.

Moonbyul's POV:

I wish falling in love have traffic lights too, so that I would know if I should go, slow down, or just stop. I think I've been in love for too many times, and not just with random people but with my best friends.

Ahn Hyejin.

I thought after I graduated high school, I'd graduate from the feelings she gives me too. It took me a year to realize that I'm wrong. I thought I was sure that what I felt for her was purely platonic. And the summer after graduation was enough time to brush these feelings off.

It took me a year to prove myself that I was wrong.

Hyejin and Wheein applied to the same college that Yongsun and I went too. And seeing her so often lately, I've been feeling the same feelings again. I thought my feelings for her were reversible, but I guess my love for Hyejin was only temporarily suspended.

Whenever I see her, I’m being reminded of a dream that I can't have. And every single time I use the word 'friend' to describe her, I die a little inside.

I don't know how it happened; it just did. I was in senior year and I just woke up one day and I never looked at her the same.

One day I looked at her and I see something more than I did the night before; like a switch has been flicked inside my heart.

I really thought what I felt before was something that will eventually go away, that it just resembled love when its really just platonic. But some weeks ago the feelings came rushing back, because I remembered why I tried to stop them in the first place.

"Byul-unnie, are you okay? You don't seem yourself lately." Hyejin said with a concerned look.

"I'm just-" I stopped when I felt her hand in my forehead. She was checking my temperature.

"You have a fever. Why didn't you say so?" She asked, her voice laced with concern. "Come on, let's get you to the clinic." She said in an authoritative tone and immediately dragged me to the clinic.

I can only smile, one, because she was holding my hand, and two, because she's panicking; I find it cute when she panics, she always has this tough exterior that makes her look intimidating but since I’m one of the lucky few that get to see this side of her, I always find comfort in her presence.

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After my check up, the nurse told me that I just needed some rest, so she advised me to take a nap there.

"But, we have a quiz later. Can I take up that first?" I asked the nurse, our week is jam-packed with quizzes.

"No. I'm sure teacher-nim will give you a special quiz. What you need now is rest, you shouldn’t stress yourself with your quizzes." Hyejin butts in.

"You're friend has a point. I'm sure she'll be able to explain it to your professor." The nurse agreed to Hyejin.

Hyejin smiled in victory. "Now," she placed her hands on my shoulders then pushed me gently back on the bed. "Why don't you sleep here and take some more rest."

I lied in the clinic bed. "Why are you still here anyways, you have a quiz too, don't you? The Ahn Hyejin I knew would've buried her face in her notes right this moment." I teased, but I meant it too. She has always been so competitive about everything, so she takes studies very seriously even though she really hates math.

She sat in the bed. "Well, maybe you don't know me well." She stated.

I just raised my brow, knowing that it can't be true; I know her well. "Yeah right,” I answered rolling my eyes. She’s the one who doesn’t know me well enough. She can’t even see through my feelings for her.

“I’m sure you made a deal with Sowon again regarding who can have better scores and I’m even more sure that you won’t let her win; tell me I'm wrong." I said full of confidence.

"There are other' things' that are more important to me than winning, you know?" she said matter-of-factly smiling directly at me to make sure I got her message.

And I can't help but smile too. I looked away to hide the blush I felt creeping on my cheeks. I couldn't imagine what I looked like while I stare at the curtains of the room, dumbfounded.

She basically told me I'm more important than winning. I feel my stomach twist, in a good way.

"Will you stop staring at the curtains now?" Hyejin demanded. I didn't realize that I was drowned by my thoughts again. When I looked at her she kept talking. "I almost got jealous of the curtains."

Okay. Now I could swear she’s just playing with my heart.

"Why are you looking at them for so long when I'm right here beside you?" she questioned seriously.

I was taken aback. I didn't know what to say to that. I’m usually the one who delivers the greasy lines. But I guess that’s what happens when you’re basically together 24/7, you become a little bit like each other.

I wonder if my greasy words and gestures affect her as much as it affects me. But I couldn’t help laugh at myself for even thinking about it. I reminded myself that she doesn’t like me like that.

"I was just thinking about the quiz. I really reviewed for it, you know?" I lied.

"Aw. Sorry, Byul-unnie. I'm sure our teacher will give you a special exam." She encouraged me. I'm not so sure if I should be thankful that she didn't notice that I'm lying, because if it were Wheein, she would've easily known that I'm not telling the truth.

"Look, Byul-ah. Take a good rest. I don't want you to be absent tomorrow. No one will defend me from Loco's teasing." She said while smiling. It's her saying 'I'll miss you if you'd be absent tomorrow, so don't be. Okay?'

It was bittersweet, her hinting that she’d miss me but mentioning Loco’s name in the same sentence.

She’s known for being ‘fatal hwasa’ she didn’t need me to defend her, but she tends to act cute in front of boys that she like, like how she acts annoyed about the boy when in reality she enjoys his attention. If it were other man she would’ve just glared and snickered at them for annoying her.

I chuckled at how much of a tsundere she is. "Okay. But aren't you used to him by now?" I whined.

"I just like it better when you defend me." She said with a beaming smile. What the heck? Does she really have to say these things; it's making my heart pound twice as fast.

I was scared. Because I cared too much. I cared so much that I don't know if I can tell her without it seeming to be worthless compared to how I feel. It really scared the hell out of me. I tried to stop loving her, because even though I knew that I love her, I can't make her love me back.

But the thing is, I'm still stuck here, being in love with my best friend more and more each day. And I'm still scared.

The worst part? She not the only best friend I fell in love with.

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My first love is Kim Yongsun

I could not tell if I loved her the first moment I saw her, or if it was the second or third or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at her walking towards me and realized that somehow the rest of the world seemed to vanish.

Unknowingly, she taught me how to love, and move on from love. She was my first love and my first heartbreak. I've never told her that I love her; I was a coward. I'm afraid of what people would say, but the thing is, I'm more afraid of what I'd think of myself.

She was my first love; I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to handle such things, and the fact that we’re both girls didn’t really help my situation.

I spent my high school years being in love with her, and I haven't told a single person yet because back then I was still unsure. I realized I’ve always been sure about her, its just that I didn’t want to admit just yet that I'm attracted to girls too. I don't want to admit just yet that my first love was a girl.

And when I realized it, it seemed like it wasn’t worth it bringing it up anymore.

It’s all in the past now. I've moved on, or at least that's what I tried to do, not because I fell in love with Hyejin…but just because I have to. I'm not planning on figuring out how to stop loving her; I'm just trying to learn how to accept the fact that she would never be mine, 'cause I think that's much more possible.

I couldn't explain the confusion she caused me; it was like there was a never ending war between my heart and mind. I felt like I was going crazy if I didn't stop. I wanted her so bad but I was so afraid because I think that these feelings were wrong and it makes me feel so small because it's so hard to keep inside.

Not to mention that she is one of my best friends; that just makes the whole situation a whole lot worse; because what if I tell her and she doesn't feel the same way? That would just make things awkward. And I would never want to live in a world where we aren't friends.

"Do you think first love never dies?" I asked her in a serious tone.

Yongsun looked at me, I could feel the gears inside her head working before she answered. "No. I don't think so."

I waited for a further explanation but there was none. "That's it? You just don't think so?"

"Yeah. Why?" she asked me nonchalantly. I sighed in relief; I thought she's going to ask me if I ever had a first love.

"Nothing." I said, avoiding leading our conversation to a complicated one. But then, my curiosity just gets the better of me sometimes. "Have you ever been in love?"

She looked at me again, and then smiled, I couldn’t help but look at how her cheeks looks so cute when she smiles.

"Yeah…” She hesitated at first but then she continued. “…with a girl actually." I froze. That should’ve been my cue to tell her right then and there. There was a part of me that had hope, but I didn't want to get my expectations that high.

She noticed that I'm in deep thoughts. "Did you actually think I'm serious?" My head turned to her immediately, my heart sinking when she chuckled in disbelief as if it was ridiculous for me to believe her.

I didn’t know if I was able to hide the pain and disappointment that came with her response but I couldn’t look away from her.

"Well I am." Yongsun simply added. I couldn’t read what was going through her mind but it was clear to me that she's serious as she looked straight at me.

"Is she someone I know?" I tried to get something from her, but knowing Yongsun, she knows how to answer just.

"You have no idea." My head was spinning at that time.

Does she mean I have no idea who she is? Or does she mean