#np Baek Yerin's Maybe It's Not Our Fault

2019

“Let’s meet.”

Moon Taeil squeezed his eyes in defeat, her husky voice was still lingering inside his head since he made his way to the same café where they first met. He didn’t expect her sudden call later that evening. Taeil never changed his phone number and so did she, but never did once she had called or texted him since they broke up and he also did the same.

Seeing her again today, he couldn’t deny it, old feelings just suddenly resurfaced, bursting his chest out.

She was still beautiful. That’s the first thing that came into his mind.

“Taeil?”

That same voice shook him from his thoughts. He carefully looked up just to have his heart shaken all over again.

He didn’t know what to feel. A part of him was so elated that he could see her again after so long, but a part of him also hated her to bits for hurting his heart. Without words, the raven haired girl took a seat in front of him. Two cups of café latte were on the table, still warm.

“You… You still remember my favourite…” She uttered while fixing her gaze on the drink.

He hated this, this small talks. Taeil took a deep breath.

“What do you want, Hyunjung?”

The girl who was addressed as Hyunjung appeared to be taken aback by his direct words.

“You’re still so mean, Moon Taeil… You didn’t even ask how I was doing.” She said with a fake laugh which died down so quick.

“Stop it. Stop acting like nothing happened between us. You… You don’t know how much –“

“I’m sorry!” She cried, cutting his words.

Tears were already pooling in her beautiful eyes that he was dunbfounded. He could hear her sigh deeply before their gazes finally met. Something hard struck Taeil’s heart when they did.

“I’m sorry for everything. My life… It feels so incomplete without you. I missed you –“

“Liar.”

“I… I didn’t make it to the course.” She spoke before he could continue.

“I know.” He quickly replied.

“I was so miserable, it’s as if the world was crumbling down for me the moment I did. Three times, Taeil and each failure hurt more than the earlier. How could I look for you and ask for forgiveness? It’s so embarrassing to appear to you as a failure. But after I saw you today, I just couldn’t keep my pride. I don’t care if I can’t enrol into the academy and become a teacher. I-I just want to be with you.” She sniffed, looking down to her laps.

“I… I still love you, Taeil.”

“Idiot.”

Hurt, Hyunjung looked up to him when she heard that particular word and when she did, she could see his eyes were also glistening with tears.

“I don’t care if you’re a failure. I waited for you to call me, Hyunjung. If only… If only you had called once, then maybe there’s a chance for us.”

“I waited for you too, Taeil.” She blurted, a tear already fell. “If only you had called since that horrible day, I would definitely come back to you but you didn’t.”

*

“Both of us are idiots.”

Bona presses her lips upon hearing Taeil’s words. Listening to his story, she couldn’t help but to feel sorry for him and also that girl. It turned out that pride had taken a toll to the two of them. If only one of them gave in, probably they would still be together today.

With a tiny sigh, she gently pats his back while he gulps down his beer.  

“It’s not your fault, Taeil-ssi. Neither did Hyunjung-ssi’s. It’s just a misunderstanding.”

“I wish I could believe that.” He said with a sigh.

“Then what happened?” She asked. Bona still haven’t eaten her breakfast and so did Taeil. All he ever had this morning was the beer.

“I told her I needed time. I don’t know what to do. I feel so lost, it’s like everything’s tangled inside my head.”

“Do you still love her, Taeil-ssi?”

She could feel his body tense when she asked that question.

“I-I don’t know.”

The small convenient store turns quiet for a while. Bona swiftly shifts her body to eye the calming view in front of her. There are not many people and vehicles outside, autumn leaves fell, such a beautiful sight that it calms her.

“From what I remembered your story back at Namyangju, it seems to me that Kim Hyunjung-ssi still holds a special place in your heart. You deserve happiness too, Taeil-ssi. Give your heart a chance. No expectations, no pressure. Just try. If it didn’t work out in the end, then maybe the two of you are really not meant for each other. At least you won’t regret anything.” She uttered lengthily, pulling up a smile. A bit amazed too for being able to give such advice to him.

“For starters… Why don’t you make up for your past mistake now by calling her?”

***

Now that she’s heading back home, her mind wanders to her husband. She knew, she has hurt him by leaving him this morning but as she pressed the passcode into the apartment, she’s building a hope that Wonho’s fine by now.

It’s already passed noon when she entered the place but not too long after, Wonho’s figure appears from his room. Clad in his casual attire, he appears ready to go out, bringing along his bag.

“Oh Bona, I thought you won’t ever come home.”

Even though he’s smiling to her, Bona can sense an unpleasant aura coming from him.

“W-Where are you going?” She asked, eying his outdoor bag.

“Somewhere.” He answered, walking past her