#np EXO's My Turn to Cry

2018

How did he know? Was I being too obvious? I really didn’t expect that he would directly ask right to my face whether if I still have feelings for him or not. I thought it was merely something silly that I said or did during that night that made him act so coldly to me.

And that lie… Honestly, I felt a bit hurt when he refused to have dinner with me but I thought I could handle it. Maybe he was still too tired to go out. 

But no, it’s all because he knew. He knew that I still like him even after all these years.

Yes, I cried in front of him for the second time after 8 years. After our wedding night, I already told myself to never cry because of him but that day, I broke that promise.

I feel so stupid.

I knew I shouldn’t have kept my hopes up but the bliss I felt whenever I was with him, I immediately forgot everything.

I should stop.

Shaking my head, reality hits me that now, I’m sitting in front of my desk at the office. With that determination, I can start by busying myself with work.

***

It’s already past 5 pm when I walk out of the building. It’s quite a hectic day even though it’s just my first two weeks working here and when I look at the snow outside, I immediately remember Christmas. It’s a few days away and I haven’t bought any presents yet…

Oh, and dinner. I can’t go home again tonight, my parents will keep asking me about Wonho again. Maybe I should eat out while buying presents for Christmas.

But then, my phone in my bag vibrates.

Wanna have dinner together? Let’s eat out.

I can’t help but to feel a bit elated when I read Wonho’s text. But why is he suddenly like this? He sounds like nothing happened between us. Or is it that he wants to talk to me about what happened between us?

“Bona-ssi!”

I turn to the call behind me and there’s Taeil, walking fast towards me.

“You’re going home?”

“Yeap.”

He’s wearing his coat that I returned to him today. But then I’m suddenly reminded of my father’s words about the Christmas gathering. To return the favour, I guess I should invite Taeil. I don’t really have friends that I can invite too either since I’m really bad at long distance relationships. It’s been a forever since I’ve talked to my best friend, Juyeon during high school. In fact, she’s not even in Seoul today I think, from what I saw in her SNS. She’s living in Busan now.

At least I should invite someone to the gathering…

“Oh, by the way, Taeil-ssi. I forgot to ask you earlier. My parents are actually having a small gathering for Christmas, so I thought if you’re not busy…”

“Sure I’ll go. There’ll be good food, right?”

I chuckle at his response. His answer was fast, I didn’t even get to tell him when.

“Of course. It’ll be on two days before Christmas.”

“Okay. Em, speaking about Christmas… You already bought the presents for your family, Bona-ssi?”

“I’m thinking of buying them tonight.”

“Wow, can I come? I’ll buy them today too I guess. It’s lonely to go by yourself. I can ask for your opinion too.”

I put my phone under my chin and think.

Maybe I shouldn’t go and have dinner with Wonho tonight, I just can’t face him yet after all the things that happened between us. I’m still not ready. Besides, being with him, I will only fall deeper.

I must stop now, like what I promised to myself.

            Sorry. I have other plans.

“Let’s have dinner first, Taeil-ssi. I’m starving.” I said after replying to Wonho’s message. “My treat.”

He pulls up smile and soon, the two of us walk towards his car not too far from the office.

*