#np Park Boram's Like A Dream

2019

“You’re okay?”

“Oh? Yes?”

“Food’s ready for quite a while but you’re not eating.”

“Really? It’s here?”

“Strange… The Bona I know loves food so much, even more when there’s pork belly is in front of her.” Taeil says with a laugh. I can’t help but to smile and turn my attention to the food on the plate before me.

“Maybe I’m just tired…”

“These days, you even spaced out during meetings with the clients. Something the matter? That’s if you want to share…”

I press my lips, my gaze’s fixed to the pork belly. I guess it’s obvious. These days, I’ve been spending too much time with Taeil that I’m guessing he could already read my actions. Sometimes, I’m surprised that it’s as if he could read my mind. Maybe he’s the observant type but at the same time, he uncannily talks a lot.

It’s quite fascinating.

As I bring my head up to look into Taeil’s eyes, I pull up a smile. A smile so wide, I thought it could be creepy. Taeil narrows his eyes and leans a bit forward, squinting to take a better look into my face.

“I’m fine, really.” I spelled those words loud and clear before taking the spoon and fork.

“Do you need to take a leave, Bona-ssi?”

“No, no. Thank you. Holidays just ended not too long ago haha…” I laugh awkwardly and stuff a few pieces of the meat into my mouth that my right cheek quickly went full.

“See… You want to assure me that you’re fine when you’re not.”

I halt.

Again, it’s as if he had read my mind.

Taeil’s right. I’m not fine.

Things about Wonho, I just don’t know what to feel. The kiss back at the ruins… I just can’t stop thinking about it. Why did he have the need to do that? Sure, he told me he wanted to try but everything was too fast, I couldn’t keep up. Was that what he meant by trying?

That kiss took me aback but I can’t deny I would trade everything I had to experience that all over again. No, it was different from that horrible Christmas night, a good kind of different…

I wanted to dream, to keep a bit of more hope for him but something always whispers into my heart, that I’m going to get hurt all over again.

Something convinces me that he was just trying too hard in fulfilling his promise to my father.

He only wants to redeem himself.

He only pities me.

Maybe that’s why I can’t be too happy.

That’s why I told him not to try so hard.

“Whatever it is, I hope you can get back to your real self soon. I don’t want the company to suffer loses. Do your job at home for a few days, if you need anything just call me, okay?”

“But –“

“This is the last break I’m giving you, got it?”

“Bona?”

I hold my breath at that sudden familiar voice on my right. My heart’s beating fast, I thought I was dreaming. To my surprise, Shin Wonho is standing right beside my table.

“W-Wonho-ssi?”

“Oh Attorney Shin.” Taeil spoke, also looking up to Wonho. “It’s a nice surprise seeing you here.”

“We’re having our company dinner over there.” He said while pointing at a group of people sitting near the entrance. I wonder why I didn’t notice him before since they are quite loud…

“Oh, we are too. Right, Bona-ssi?”

“Uh? Yes…”

“Really? What a coincidence… Well, we can go home together tonight, Bona.” He said and without any warning, he takes a seat beside me.

“Um, what about your colleagues?” I ask, feeling a bit puzzled. Glancing at his group not far from our table, all of them seem to be having the time of their lives.

“It’s okay. I already excused myself. I thought it’d be fun to join you two.” He said with an awkward smile and turns to Taeil in front. “Where are your other workers? I thought it’s a company dinner?”

“Everyone already went home. It’s just the four of us in the company. We’re usually the only ones left in the end. Right, Bona-ssi?” Taeil answered with a chuckle and sips his drink.

“Ah yes…”

I too take my glass of soda, trying to get rid of this strange awkwardness but before I can lift it up, Wonho suddenly seize the glass from my hand and gulp the drink in one shot. How strange… What’s up with him?

“So, I assume that you always sent my wife home every time you have your company dinner since the others always left early?”

I gulp when Wonho said the word ‘my wife’.

“Of course. I can’t let her go home by herself late at nights.”

“Well, I thank you for that.” Wonho said and pours another drink.

This situation, I don’t know what to call it… My husband and I are having dinner with my boss out of the blue like this... This atmosphere, it’s not up to my liking. There’s a peculiar aura coming from both of these men, I can’t tell whether they are restless or angry or something else… Wonho’s pouring soda again into the glass and drinks it while Taeil keeps clearing his throat and eats the food in front of him while stealing glances at Wonho.

It’s as if there’s a strange tension between them… Or is it just me?

My appetite has already gone long ago. Nobody’s speaking but the buzzing sound of other people chatterin