#np NCT127's No Longer

2019

The smell of fresh air gently blows onto my face, pretty flowers by the mucky road start to bloom. Colours are appearing again, replacing the pure whiteness of snow. Spring approaches, and it’s beautiful.

As breathtakingly beautiful as her.

The first time I laid my eyes on her, her face was pale. She was in pain but that time, it’s as if I was seeing a new light in the dark side of my heart. Despite that obvious pain, she still appeared so shining to my eyes. 

And at that time, I wished for nothing but to take that pain away from her.

It’s strange on how I felt so much when it’s just our first meeting with each other…

On the second time I saw her, she was also in pain but it was a different kind of hurt. She was wearing a snow white dress, her makeup was all smudged, and her eyes were swollen. Nonetheless, her tears, her trembling shoulders, her sobs, everything of her still looked beautiful in my eyes.

Even after seeing her every day up until now, I still can’t shake the amazement off of my chest.

She is the most beautiful thing I have ever encountered in my whole life.

“Don’t you think Mr. Kim was a bit too much?” She said with a frown.

“I think it’s reasonable.”

“Really?!” Her brows arch, her lips went into an ‘O’. I burst into a huge laughter at her reaction and decrease my pace. “He was already demanding when I first met him… I thought I could handle his requests but I think I’m starting to doubt that.”

“But since he’s willing to pay any amount then I say we do our best.” I answer casually as we continue to walk by the dirt road.

“So, this is your principle, Taeil-ssi? All you think about is money?”

“Sometimes…”

I can hear a soft ‘tch’ coming out from her lips.

“Finding the kind of wood he wants is not that hard, right? We’re here.”

“After spending hours of browsing… It’s just the beginning, I know… Thank God internet is here to show us the way.” She sighs and stretches her arms.

“But you’re enjoying yourself here too, right Bona-ssi?” I ask with a grin and it doesn’t take long for her to smile as she eyed the beautiful scenery of the place. The second time I saw her at Jeju, I thought it was mere coincidence but when we met each other for the third time, I knew it was fate.

And today, birds are chirping, the fresh air around us are so welcoming that I thought fate is on my side yet again.

As silly as it sounds, I’m sure she’s destined for me.

“You’re right… I do need a breath of fresh air.” She turns to me, still putting the pretty smile on.

The truth is, it’s been a while since I’ve seen her smile. I can’t deny I missed seeing the happy side of her. Food seemed not to work anymore nowadays and I thought bringing her here is a good idea even though it’s only for work purposes.

As we make our way to the car, her phone suddenly rings.

“Oh, Wonho-ssi.”

The cool air around me suddenly feels hot as I heard that name. Unpleasant feelings creeps into my chest that I thought I wanted to throw up.

With that, I’m reminded that Kim Jiyeon is already a married woman.

Yes, I know it’s wrong to keep feelings for a married lady but with Bona, I’m sure there’s something wrong with her and her husband’s relationship, ever since I saw her all wretched in Jeju many months ago.

“Eung. I’m at Namyangju… Send my regards to your parents... I’ll be home soon. No, I haven’t eaten yet… Okay, you too.”

She lets out a deep sigh as soon as she hung up.

It suddenly turns blue, just by that particular phone call.

She didn’t talk much while we’re on our way back home. But still, I can feel as if there’s a gloomy mist surrounding her petite body, even more when Maktub’s song was played on the radio. She seemed to be so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t respond to any of my call.

This is the thing I despise the most. Seeing her like this, I can only wish hell for the guy who claimed to be her husband.

It’s because I know I can do way better than him in loving Bona.

Yes, I love her. I love her so damn much.

And so, I turn the wheels around. Coincidentally, that place is not far from where we are. Instead of heading back home tonight, I drive towards a place that I hope can make her at least a bit happier. As expected, Bona doesn’t seem to notice the change of direction and continues to be lost inside her daydream.