I sat on my bed. What was I supposed to say? I had never lied to him since we had been together. I wasn't about to start now. So I had had my doubts, wasn't that a normal thing for people to do before they get married? Why did he take it like this?

Taehyung was my first real relationship where I felt truly loved and truly safe. I had only had one other relationship. He was a guy that I had met in high school before I had met Taehyung. His name was Sehun and I was absolutely certain I loved him. At first it seemed like he took care of me, he bought me presents, made me feel like I was the only boy he would ever love. 

He was living with his mother who was abusive to him. I was the only thing in his life that made him happy. But what he didn't realize was that  he had begun to abuse me. He made me feel worthless and not good enough. I was forced to be a perfect boyfriend for him and I could never do that. I had begun to fall out of love with him. He eventually broke it off. 

I had never heard about him again, he left, or so I was told. I never knew what happened to him but I now was messed up because of him. I thought I had to be a perfect boyfriend no matter what. I always felt pressured to make sure that Taehyung was happy. He didn't know until he caught on to something. 

We were sitting with our friends when I rested my head on him for the 3rd time in the last hour. 

"Kook can I talk to you in private." 

We walked away and he turned me so that I was looking right at him. 

"Why are you always resting on me and trying to be cute? Don't get me wrong I love it but why?" 

I let everything go right there. Everything. I had begun to cry and he was wiping my tears away. When I finished he wrapped me up in a hug and didn't let go for a long time. 

"Kookie I promise, you will never have to try to be the perfect boyfriend for me. You already are just by existing." 

It was that day I truly knew he would love me forever. At least I had thought. He hadn't once come in and said anything to me. I wasn't sure what I would say either. So instead I just fell asleep on my bed waiting for him to come in and cuddle up next to me. 

I woke up in my bed alone. The only thing around me was my blanket and even that was falling off. I decided to get up and head to the kitchen and make breakfast. It was the only thing I could do that wouldn't upset me completely. I walked past and saw that he had fallen asleep on the couch. I felt bad but I also didn't see what the problem was. 

I got out the ingrediants to make pancakes. I had finished mixing the batter when he walked in, his eyes drooping with tiredness. 

"Good morning." I said quietly. 

He didn't respond. I continued making pancakes. The silence was killing me. He didn't say a word to me all morning. Even after I had finished I sat down with a plate and began to ate. To spite me he made toast and ate it. He sat across the table from me. I became more and more frustrated at him. I had done nothing wrong. All I had done was a natural feeling of second thoughts. I slammed my fork down.

"What the hell did I do Taehyung?" 

He looked up. "Well to start you never said anything last night to defend yourself." 

"What was I supposed to say?" 

"Anything!" He shouted making me flinch. "And for second you had second thoughts." 

I rolled my eyes "That's a natural thing Taehyung. People have second thoughts about everything." 

" Not about who they are marrying Jungkook!" I noticed the hurt in his voice as he shouted at me. "You don't have second thoughts about your marriage and who you are marrying. Do you get that at all?" 

"no I don't Hyung. I don't get it at all. I don't get why just because I'm getting married means I'm not allowed to have my own thoughts and doubts." 

"Because second thoughts and doubts are what lead to fighting and then eventually divorce Jungkook!" 

He got up and left the house. I was infuriated and couldn't even finish my pancakes. I couldn't understand why he was so upset over the simplest thing. I sat on the couch and watched more reruns, slightly hoping he didn't come back. 

Be careful what you wish for.