Chapter 45: She's Gone.

First day of March, payday. Finally. Daehyun wanted Himchan to do the paperwork for him, but the stylist was busy, so he had to do it by himself. Jooe was the one who was going to give him the money and her desk was right in front of Youngjae's office, and Daehyun didn't want to meet him after what happened. The short-lived, but passionate kiss was still vivid, his lips (and another part of his body as well) twitched everytime he closed his eyes and brought back that moment.

    “Hi, Dasom!!!” Jooe waved her hand from her desk.

    “Hi” Daehyun greeted back, embarrassed for daydreaming “I came for the money... It's my first time working for a big company, so I don't know how this works... You give me a check?”

    “If you want to, but most employees prefer that the money be deposited in the bank directly”

    “I see...”

    “Do you have a bank account?”

    “I think so... I haven't used it for months, it's not like I have money to deposit or spend...”

    “I’ll write you the check then”

    “Can you do it under my brother's name?”

    “Why?”

    “He's the older one, so he's in charge of the money”

    “If it's what you want” she said questionably “What’s his name again?”

    “Jung Daehyun”

    Jooe wrote the check for Jung Daehyun and made Dasom sign some papers before handing her the check. Once Daehyun had the check for 30.000 he felt like in a dream, he never had so much money in the past.

    “Thank you, thank you so much”

    “You've earned that!!!”

    “You bet I have” Daehyun said and started to turn away, but then he took a look at Youngjae's office, the doors were closed and he wondered if there was someone behind “Can I ask you something?”

    “Of course”

    “Is Y-Youngjae there?”

    Jooe looked in the direction Daehyun was looking; Youngjae's office.

    “Yes, do you want to talk to him?”

    “N-no!” Daehyun squeaked and Jooe raised an eyebrow “Thank you for everything” he bowed and started to turn away again, but then he heard the doors open, his heart stopped, he knew he had to run! However his feet didn't obey, he was stuck.

    “I knew I heard your voice, Dasom” Youngjae hung his head out the door “I need to talk with you”

    Daehyun pretended that he didn't hear a thing and strode to the elevator.

    “Dasom” Youngjae called “Dasom? Dasom!!!” Youngjae called again, but the mentioned girl ignored him, so he decided to go after her “Dasom, wait, I need to talk!!!” The young man grabbed her wrist before she could enter the elevator “I need to talk, ok? Let's go to my office”

    “I won't go anywhere with you” Daehyun shook his hand off.

    “Fine, we can talk here”

    Daehyun realized Jooe was just a few steps away, what if Youngjae wanted to talk about the kiss? He didn't want the assistant to eavesdrop.

    “You win, let's go to your office” Daehyun said, although being alone with Youngjae in a locked room wasn't a good idea at all.

“I know what you want to talk about, but I don't want to. It was a mistake, I regret it”

    “What are you talking about?” Youngjae furrowed his brows, puzzled.

    “Don't play the fool” Daehyun said as Youngjae kept looking confused “You kissed me” In response, the editor made a face, he was bewildered, unable to understand what the other was saying “Are you kidding me?” Daehyun didn't know whether feel relieved or hurt because the younger didn't remember their kiss. He spent the whole night without sleep because he couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. He couldn't stop thinking about how soft and warmth Youngjae's lips were, how good his tongue felt tangling with his, flooding him with the bitter and sweet taste of rosé, but now Youngjae said he didn't remember a .

    “The kiss” Daehyun tried not to raise his voice, he was both disappointed and angry “We kiss, don't you remember? You leaned in, you reeked of alcohol, you brushed my lips several times with yours, you stupid tease, and then we kissed!!!”

    “I don't remember” Youngjae said, pursing his lips.

    “How can you forget? We were by the pool, we fell into the pool...”

    “That's why my clothes were wet?”

    “What did you think that was?”

    “I woke up in my parent's yard, I thought it was the sprinklers”

    “If it's not the kiss you want to talk about, then what's it?” Daehyun wanted to kill Youngjae, but he decided to count to ten.

    “Your work in Ego” Youngjae got more confused as Daehyun changed the subject fast “It's been only a few hours, but this month issue has reached 10k in sales. The partners are very impressed and want you to be the main model of the magazine for the next five years”

    “I'm not interested”

    “You have to think, you'll make millions a year”

    “I don't have to. I never wanted to be a model and I don't want to be one now. I just took the job because I needed money” Daehyun bit his bottom lip and sighed heavily “Thank you for everything, thank you for the offer... Have a nice and happy life” he had watched enough kdramas to know the things to say at the moment of the goodbye and right there he was saying goodbye to Youngjae. It was his last day as Dasom, it was his last day at Ego, he'd never see the young man ever again and he should be happy, he could begin to forget him for good, however, the only things that he felt were pain and sadness.

    Daehyun lowered his head to hide the tears that threatened to fall and headed to the door, he lingered for a while, hoping for a miracle, hoping for Youngjae to see HIM and stop him and say how much he loved him, but Youngjae remained poker-faced. Daehyun gave up and opened the door and when he was about to leave, Youngjae’s voice echoed in the big room.

    “Wait, we need to talk”

    “I told you, I'm not interested in being a model”

    “Not that” Youngjae walked up and closed the door “You kissed me”

    “I didn't, you're the one who kissed me. You were pretty wasted and drunk”

    “That's why I don't remember”

    “Maybe, but who cares?”

    “Me, I do. I was blackout drunk and you kissed me, you took advantage of me”

    “What the? Why would I kiss you?”

    “Because you want me, you desire me”

    “You are an idiot” Daehyun didn't know why he stood there and listened to the younger’s nonsense. He tried to open the door for the second time, but Youngjae had his hand leaned on “Can you move?” Daehyun turned to him, his face was very near his, he could feel his breath on his lips and unconsciously he parted his lips waiting for him to kiss him.

    “I can't remember what happened last night, but this...” Youngjae's mouth touched Dasom's eager lips, kissed her with hunger as his arms slid around her waist. Daehyun grabbed Youngjae by the collar in order to shove him away, but instead, he pulled him closer and opened more his mouth letting his tongue meet his. They kissed hard like their lives depended on it and didn’t stop ‘til they needed air. Youngjae broke the kiss and admired Dasom’s full lips moistened with saliva. He wanted to keep kissing, however, he brought his lips to her neck, giving her butterfly kisses all over before nibbling gently with his teeth…

    “I love you so much, Dasom” he groaned hoarsely as he on her tender skin between her neck and shoulder. Daehyun tensed up as he heard Youngjae's calling him Dasom and then he woke up into the aching reality; Youngjae didn't want him, didn't love him. He just kissed and craved for him because he thought he was Dasom. He clenched his jaw to keep from crying and pushed him away.

    “What are you doing?” Youngjae said in confusion.

    “I ask you the same”

    “I'm showing you how much I love you”

    “Whatever you're feeling, it's not love, you just want ” Daehyun said, moving away.

    “You're afraid that if we have I'll throw you away? I'm not that kind of man”

    “It's not that” the elder felt disgusted by the other’s kissing and touching, because all that touching and kissing didn’t mean for him. The editor was thinking about Dasom, he just wanted to touch her and kiss her “Last night was a mistake. Right now is a mistake” Daehyun said and reached for the door, this time Youngjae didn’t do anything to stop him from leaving.

Youngjae had work, he couldn't leave everything behind and go after Dasom, no matter how much he wanted to. However, he couldn't focus on whatever his work was. He didn't understand why Dasom didn't admit she loved him like he loved her, after all, she kissed him back with the same desire and passion, that meant she had strong feelings for him too, and then he thought about Daehyun. Maybe Dasom didn't want to admit her love because she didn't want to hurt her brother.

    Youngjae decided to call it a day, he hadn't seen Daehyun since Busan, it was time to talk to him, he thought, he couldn't let the photographer get in the middle of him and Dasom. He went to the apartments straight to where the twins lived. He rang the doorbell and knocked on the door, but nobody answered, and then he remembered he had a spare key at his place, so he went upstairs and came back a few minutes later with the key to open the door.

    “Daehyun, we need to talk” Youngjae shouted at the empty hallway “Daehyun!!!” he went to the living and there was no one “Daehyun, are you there?” he went to the kitchen, no one “Ganji?” he suddenly had a bad feeling “Ganji!!! Daehyun!!!” He checked the bedrooms, the bathrooms and all the other rooms and every single one was empty “Dasom? Dasom?” he even checked the closets which were empty as well; no clothes, no shoes, nothing. He took out his phone and started to dial Dasom's number, but stopped abruptly as he noticed a piece of paper on the window that led to the balcony.

    He took the paper and read:

If you're reading this, I'm gone.

Thank you for everything.

If you love me don't look for me.

I left the key to the apartment at the reception. ~ Dasom.

yes, dasom is gone.

daehyun and zelo's cover of "she's gone" by steelheart https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wphf7JVt3kg

spoiler alert: I thought to give daehyun a girlfriend to make youngjae jealous, but I’ll use daeup :3 if you wonder where daehyun is going to live from now on… yes, jongup’s house.

the title of this should be everybody loves daehyun, but daehyun loves youngjae who loves daehyun’s imaginary twin sister who actually is daehyun plus a side story with bang yongguk and a drug ring that makes no sense

here’s a pic of dae crying