Chapter 35: I Need a Girl.

“This is the last photo shoot?” Daehyun asked as Himchan studied his face that still got small bruises.

    “Why do you sound so sad? You always say you want this to end” Himchan put a big number of concealer all over his face.

    “Sometimes people don’t say what they really feel or think…”

    “Since when you’re so deep?”

    “I’m just a little sad. I should be happy, but I’m sad”

    “You know what will make you happy?”

    “What?”

    “Dye your hair!!!”

    “I did once in high school and people laughed at me for weeks, so no way”

    “I bet you did it in the toilet with some inexperienced friend. I’m different, I’m a pro”

    “Are we still talking about my hair?” Daehyun was never sure. One night Himchan was talking about burgers, the food, for hours, at least Daehyun thought so, but actually Himchan was talking about burger, a white wine grape.

    “I’m the best, I even studied dermatology”

    “Wait, you’re a doctor?”

    “No, I never finished. I started getting more interested in cosmetics, so I changed it for cosmetology. Someday I’ll create my own brand. Anyway, I’ve worked with the best stylists and make-up artists in the country and outside the country, so let me do your hair”

    “No”

    “Fine. I’ll settle for these wigs” Himchan admired the wigs of different colors on the mannequins “I think you’ll look good with pink hair, so we’ll start from that and then we’ll go with blue and red, gray, blonde, brown, rainbow, green, orange, purple…”

    “Hyoseong sent me to ask if Dasom’s ready” Jongup came in the studio and headed towards the makeup station.

    “Right now I’m putting foundation on her, so no, she’s not ready”

    “Still?” Jongup frowned “I’m not an expert, but putting foundation is easy, isn’t? Even if it’s hard, you’ve had two hours”

    “Have you seen his face? The bruises?”

    “No, what bruises?”

    “Yeah, what bruises? You don’t see them anymore because I took my time”

    “What bruises?” the younger ignored the other and leaned over to see Daehyun’s face more carefully. It wasn’t possible to see the bruises, not even a little.

    “I got into a fight, blah, blah, blah, don’t want to talk about that” Daehyun pulled his face away.

    “Go, tell your boss stop bossing me around” Himchan grabbed Jongup’s arm and dragged him to the door and kicked him out.

    “You’re mean” Daehyun chuckled.

    “This is our last photo shoot together. I want it to be flawless, I’m always flawless though” Himchan decided to start with the eyes and picked a peachy eye shadow.

    “What’s the concept? Shin Jimin told me it was Youngjae’s idea, but she didn’t explain”

    “We take close-ups of parts of your face, but not your full face and we put the photos on billboards, buildings, benches, display windows on the streets and malls”

    “You mean shots of my eyes, lips and chin, hair… but not my full face? Parts of my face will be in everywhere, but not my whole face? It sounds like a serial killer’s going to chop down my face and show it to the world”

    “Jongup said the same thing. You guys have telepathy?”

    “Maybe” Daehyun stared at the ceiling as Himchan lined the inner rim of his eye “I like Youngjae’s idea. Not showing the whole face will make people curious and buy the magazine to see the cover”

For the next 12hrs, nobody got to eat, especially not Dasom, she had to remain thin, not bloated and fat for the photos. Daehyun thought that was stupid, since it was just a photo shoot of his face, how could his eyes or ears get fat? So when the torture was over, he rushed to the cafeteria to grab some dinner. He bought himself the largest pizza enough to feed an entire family.

    “Hey, Dasom-ssi, can we sit with you?” a pink haired-girl asked with a sugar-coated voice.

    Dasom? Daehyun looked down and found himself still wearing the short white dress and black heels from the photo shoot. He was so hungry he forgot to change first and now he, or more like she, was in the cafeteria, eating pizza.

    “Can we sit with you?” the girl asked again “All the tables are full, except yours”

    “Of course” Daehyun cleared his throat and used the girly voice he had long practiced “You… Jooe?”

    “You know who I am” she sat down beside her.

    “You’re Youngjae’s lifesaver, I’m not sure he can even open a bottle of water without your help”

    “You’re exaggerating” she giggled “He’s not so useless, although I once saw him fight a stapler”

    “If you know who she is, you know who I am” Jooe’s friend sat in front of them.

    “She’s Sumin, one of the most important models of Ego” Jooe said.

    “That’s why you look familiar” Daehyun said and Sumin didn’t like that tone, after all, she was one of the best, Dasom should be more respectful. 

    “Are you going to eat this by yourself? How do you stay so thin?” Sumin said with surprise and jealousy.

    “I'm not going to eat this by myself” Daehyun lied “You want some?”

    “It's a lot of carbs” Sumin said “And lately I’m too fat”

    “You’re beautiful” Daehyun said “You’re not fat, and even if you are, who cares? People should care more about their personalities instead of their looks”

    “You say so because you’re beautiful too, but if you were ugly, you’d be miserable” Sumin forced a smile “Don’t let us bother you, eat to your heart’s content”

    “I want a little” Jooe said and Daehyun smiled and gave her a slice.

    “Are you serious? You’re fatter than me” Sumin said.

    “It's not like I eat this everyday” Jooe said.

    “Well, you can eat as much as you want, you're just a secretary” Sumin said and Daehyun could see hurt in Jooe’s face, but no one said anything.

    Daehyun stared at his pizza and felt his appetite go away. Fat or thin never mattered to him, he always thought that the most important thing was the personality in order to be happy, he always thought that if you were too mean or too greedy you could never be happy. But right now, after that short conversation about carbs, he felt like a pig even if he weighed 140 pounds. I’m a pig and a hypocrite… I’m a liar, I’m the fakest person on earth…

    “So is it true that our boss is going to marry Nahyun?” Sumin asked out of the blue.

    “Are you talking about Youngjae?” Daehyun couldn’t help interrupting.

    “Youngjae?” Sumin said “Everybody calls him Youngjae-nim”

    “Dasom can call him by his name, they're friends” Jooe said.

    “Friends?” Sumin raised one eyebrow. Dasom was pretty, but sometimes being pretty wasn't enough to be a model, maybe she slept with the chief editor, that made sense.

    “We’re just friends” Daehyun said as he could read her mind.

    “If you say so”

    “I do”

    “Calm down, girls” Jooe said and looked at Sumin “To answer your question about Youngjae-nim marrying Nahyun…”

    Daehyun held his breath as a tsunami of feelings ripped through him. Youngjae said he wasn’t happy with Nahyun, so why was he going to marry her?! Daehyun felt dizzy and sick, maybe because he hadn’t had anything to eat or maybe because Youngjae was going to marry Nahyun.

    This is Natalie and my cousin all over again!!! But this feels worse!!! How can he marry someone with whom he isn’t happy? How can he not tell me? He had time to confess for me but not tell me about his wedding? I hope she cheats on him!!! I’m a horrible person, but they can’t marry, he isn’t happy… He should be with someone with whom’s happy… Hell, Bang Yongguk, I’m going to kill him… It’s his fault I’m having strange thoughts.

    “Yoo Youngjae can marry anyone he wants!!!” Daehyun yelled at himself with frustration.

    “What’s wrong with you?” Sumin said.

    “Nothing, his life isn’t none of my, I mean, your business”

    “Can I finish?” Jooe said “The rumors about Youngjae and Nahyun getting marry are just rumors. In fact, Nahyun came by earlier and broke up with him. Youngjae hasn’t left his office since then... I think I heard him cry...”

Daehyun went to Youngjae’s office, still as Dasom. He couldn’t waste time on changing, he needed to see if the younger was all right. The door was half-open, so he came in the office, the lights were off, and all the dark and shadows made him feel like in a horror movie.

    “Youngjae?” Daehyun called with his girly voice, after all, he was Dasom.

    “What?” The said guy replied like a zombie. Daehyun looked down to find him lied on the floor, facing the aquarium. The young man was watching the fishes go forth and back without blinking.

    “I heard you broke up with your girlfriend”

    “She broke up with me”

    “I came to see if you're alright”

    “I'm alright”

    “You don't seem alright, you're lying in the fetal position on the floor, watching fishes in the dark”

    “I'm not alright”

    “There’s anything I can do for you?” Daehyun sat on his knees and patted him on the back.

    “Tell her to come back”

    “I can't do that” It was the first time Daehyun saw him so sad, he never thought he could be this sad, because Youngjae was always bright and loud, but now he sounded dead and hopeless, and he couldn’t understand why, Youngjae told him he wasn’t happy with Nahyun, so why was he so ing sad now that they broke up? Did Youngjae lie? He was happy with Nahyun? That’s why he was so sad?

    This is Natalie and my cousin all over again.

    “You said you aren't happy with her” Daehyun said to himself, but Youngjae heard that and sat up like a spring.

    “What did you say?”

    “Nothing, I... You told to my brother you aren't happy with her...”

    “Did he tell you that?”

    “Yes. Were you lying?”

    “No, I meant it when I said I'm... I wasn’t happy with her... But why did Daehyun tell you that?” Youngjae scoffed “Seriously, that guy... He wants to kill me for talking to Natalie, but he goes around saying I'm unhappy with my girl...”

    “It's very different!” Daehyun said “He talked to me, he didn't talk to Nahyun!”

    “Whatever, we broke up” Youngjae dropped himself on the floor again and curled up in a ball and watched the fishes.

    “If you didn’t lie about being unhappy, why are you so sad? You just got out of a bad relationship”

    “Just because I wasn't happy anymore, it doesn’t mean I wasn't happy at some point. We went school together, she was the beautiful and popular girl and I was the fat guy that got stuck in slide. Like every guy in school I had a crush on her, I stopped eating and started working out so I could have a chance with her. By the end of the year, I lost several pounds and manned up and asked her to prom. I thought she was going to pick on me, you know, the fat loser and the beautiful princess, but she didn’t mock at me!!! She accepted to go with me, the ugliest and fattest guy on town!!! IT WAS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE”

    “We danced to counting Stars by OneRepublic and then we strolled in the garden under the stars and had our first kiss and started dating. And then I went to study to the states, we kept talking every day and every night, however, when I came back this year... Even if we always talked, it wasn’t the same to be face to face; we were always busy. Our paths are too different, she likes dancing, I like sleeping, she likes Lady Gaga, I like G-Dragon, she likes sweet, I like salty… She's focused on her acting... and I don’t know what I want... I’m 24… I’m an old man that doesn’t know what he wants…”

    Daehyun stopped listening and started thinking, he didn't know Youngjae’s relationship with Nahyun was so deep. He thought that Youngjae dated her because she was a pretty actress. But they had a story. That prom dancing to Counting Stars and kissing under actual stars made him feel sad and jealous. He never went to prom, because watching his cousin and Natalie together was too painful.

    Suddenly Youngjae’s phone beeped and startled both of them.

    “Can you answer? I don’t want to talk to anybody”

    “Where’s your phone?”

    “In my ...”

    “What?”

    “In my pocket”

    “Ok” Daehyun reached his hand to take the phone, he was literally touching Youngjae’s .

    “Stop groping my and answer”

    Daehyun rolled his eyes and took the phone.

    “Hi, Dasom speaking... Youngjae's busy. Hold on” Daehyun covered the speaker and looked down at Youngjae “It's a restaurant called Classic, they want to know if you're going to show up ‘cause the dinner’s ready”

    “I thought about going with Nahyun…”

    “So I said you won't go?”

    “You want to go?” Youngjae sat up and looked her in the eyes.

    “They say the dinner's ready and I love food...”

    “So it's a yes”