What did I ever do to you to have you reject me so much like this? No matter how much effort I try to make you like me, you still won’t accept me.

I’m not asking you to return my feelings but all I’m asking is for you to at least look at me with a bit more care. Is it really that much to ask for?

I’m tired.

Tired of trying. Tired of being rejected. Tired of everything.

Now I just want to disappear. If I do, will you finally look at my way?

~

‘Hakyeon. Hakyeon-ah? Wake up.’

A sweet and gentle voice was calling for him.

Such a melody came from the voice that simply called out for Hakyeon’s name. A familiar voice yet spoken with a strangely foreign tone.

No one has ever called Hakyeon with so much warmth before. It sounded so much like a lullaby that Hakyeon almost didn’t want to wake up from his sweet slumber.

Who’s calling me so gently?

‘Hakyeon-ah? Are you really going to continue sleeping like this?’ the voice asked.

Hakyeon responded with a small shaking of his head but almost like a child, sulking a bit before he was willing to budge.

Just then, Hakyeon could feel a pair of warm hands ruffled through his hair. Long fingers traced along his soft fluffy brown hair.

It was comfortable. It only made Hakyeon not want to wake up even more. If only he could remain this pampered forever.

‘Hakyeon-ah.’

Who are you? Why are you calling me so gently? So warmly… no one has ever called me this way before.

‘Wake up now. You can’t sleep forever.’

But I really want to. You sound so much like him yet so gentle… can’t we just remain this way forever? I don’t want to wake up. Because if I do… I’ll just have to accept that reality again.

I don’t want to go back. Please don’t make me go back.

Hakyeon recalled the times of being turned away, the pain and his broken heart. His tear slowly fell from his eyes and along his cheekbones.

‘Gosh why are you crying? You’re such a crybaby Hakyeon-ah. Don’t cry. I’m here for you so don’t cry. Okay?’ The voice comforted the broken Hakyeon.

The more comfort and kindness the voice gave to Hakyeon, the more Hakyeon could not stop his tears. His heart was in pain, the stress and everything he had kept inside, he wanted to let it all go.

‘Why? Why are you gentle to me? No one has ever treated me this way before. No matter how much I did for them. No matter how much time and effort I tried to make him accept me, he would rather cling onto the younger ones. What did I do wrong for him to treat me this way? What did I do to deserve those cold gazes and harsh remarks? Why can’t you just accept me? Even if you can’t accept me as a lover, the least we can be friends right? I’m fine with being just friends… I’m fine… I-’

‘Are you really fine with that Hakyeon-ah. Are you really fine with us just being nothing but friends?’

‘I’m not! I can’t stand it! I don’t want to be friends! Why, why, why? Why can’t you love me Jung Taekwoon?’

Hakyeon’s tears remained streaming along his face as he shot up from his slumbers. He’s had enough. He’s tired. He’s frustrated and he wants to give everything up.

Hakyeon woke from his gentle sleep and woke to the familiar voice. The voice that belonged to the person he loves yet resented at the same time. The same voice that casted him aside.

The voice that belongs to his fellow VIXX member, Jung Taekwoon.

~

Hakyeon stared at the voice’s face for a moment. He almost could not believe his eyes. It was Taekwoon’s face indeed. Yet, it wasn’t the same cold Taekwoon he’s known these past few years but a rather warm one. This Taekwoon smiled at Hakyeon sweetly and warmly. It wasn’t the Taekwoon in which Hakyeon was familiar with but Hakyeon did not mind.

‘Am I in a dream?’ Hakyeon asked the Taekwoon in front of him.

‘Do you want this to be a dream?’ This Taekwoon lifted his large hands to caress Hakyeon’s cheeks and wipe the remaining tears away from the boy’s face.

Hakyeon shook his head.

‘I don’t want this to be a dream but… you… you’re not the Taekwoon I know are you?’ Hakyeon suspected.

‘I can be the Taekwoon that you wish to know though? As long as you want it, I am willing to give you everything you desire Hakyeon-ah.’

‘Stop.’

‘Hmm?’

‘Don’t call me so sweetly with that voice. The real Taekwoon would never... ‘ Hakyeon swallowed back the tears that wanted to come out again.

‘Hakyeon-ah.’ Taekwoon continued to caress him and leaned forward.

‘I… can’t.’

‘Stay here. With me. Forever.’

Taekwoon leaned forward towards Hakyeon and gave him a warm comforting embrace. Hakyeon knew it was wrong and that there was no way this is the Taekwoon he knows of. But he’s too tired to reject any further. Even if this was just a dream, a fantasy or another one of his delusions, he’s willing to give this Taekwoon his everything.

Because this Taekwoon was sweet and warm. Gentle and kind. Unlike that other Taekwoon.

The other Taekwoon must be a lie. A fake.

How can anyone be so mean? So cold and so relentless? Yes, this Taekwoon must be the real one and the other one must be a fake.

Taekwoon ruffled his hair again and patted on him, doted him like a child. Taekwoon loves children and animals; it was the only time Taekwoon’s frozen heart would melt away. This gentle Taekwoon must be the real one then.

Taekwoon embraced the Hakyeon that was feeling weak and wanted the comfort and support he needed. He looked into Hakyeon’s marble-like eyes and gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead.

The cheeks.

The lips.

Hakyeon have never felt this much love before. He returned the kiss and embrace to Taekwoon.

This is the real Taekwoon. This is my reality.