He was afraid.

Afraid of going back.

Going back to the world called ‘reality’.

Taekwoon knew he had only one mission when he decided to go inside of Dreamscape with his other members and that was to rescue his lifelong friend, Cha Hakyeon who was trapped inside. Hakyeon, who was at his weakest state during that time, lost himself within his own dream because reality was too hard to accept.

Taekwoon didn’t understand why the other would do something so foolish at first. Why would he choose to leave his friends and family for the reason of being rejected by Taekwoon? He could have forgotten his crush on Taekwoon and move on, find a new love instead.

‘This way?’ Hyuk pointed in all directions and Jaehwan pointing the opposite. They were lost within Dreamscape, a place that was more puzzling with each step they took forward.

Taekwoon silently watched s from behind and making sure that they were safe. But as he observed Dreamscape from behind in silence, a single thought appeared throughout his mind.

If we are inside of here together, we… won’t have to worry about how others perceive us, would we? We won’t get hurt…

That’s when he began to doubt.

Ever since he entered Dreamscape, he started to doubt his purpose here. Rather than saving Hakyeon from it, would it be better if he were inside of here instead? This is a place where the impossible can be possible and a place that is safe from outsiders. Since high school, Taekwoon had always doubted others because of what happened to him. He was betrayed and isolated by his friends and eventually, the solitude became a habit. Taekwoon didn’t trust people who called themselves friends to him anymore and began to shut himself away from the world. The only thing that kept him alive was to sing.

Singing was like speaking to him. He was afraid to speak but never too afraid to sing.

He’s already lost his ability to play his favorite sport in the nationals level due to his injuries and now, singing was the only thing left for him. That’s what he loved the most after soccer but in order for his voice to be heard, he had to let others inside of his heart again.

It wasn’t just his fans that he had to show his heart to but strangers who are now in the same group as him. If he didn’t allow for others to enter his life and become an idol, his singing may never be heard because of his timid personality.

Taekwoon eventually got a bit used to people around him because they would either avoid him like a plague or give him enough space when needed. But there was always that one person who kept nudging onto him and trying to break his guard whenever he selfishly wanted.

He thought Hakyeon was selfish, over-confident and loves to sugarcoat his words to those around him because he wanted the attention. Unlike Taekwoon who was all right with having no friends, Hakyeon would not be able to live without it. He longed for affection and skinship. Taekwoon tried so many times to tell Hakyeon that he wasn’t comfortable with the skinship between two men but Hakyeon was stubborn.

The latter kept saying that they were lifelong friends and just like family, so he insisted on being so close to Taekwoon.

It irritated Taekwoon quite a lot but at the same time, Taekwoon tried his best to understand and tolerate that type of personality in which Hakyeon possesses.

After all, Hakyeon is all that Taekwoon isn’t.

Taekwoon didn’t know when it started but his eyes began to wander in search for Hakyeon and making sure the other was doing okay. He knew how much pressure the title of being the ‘leader’ was for Hakyeon and despite all his smiles, Hakyeon had a lot of burden to carry alone. Yet, Hakyeon would still tell others that everything was fine and under control.

Taekwoon could not stop worrying for Hakyeon. It almost pained him to see how much weight Hakyeon had placed on himself but Taekwoon didn’t know how to help him either. Usually, as two people of the same age and same group, they would eventually rely on one another if anything were to happen or if things became too difficult. But that was not the case for Hakyeon and Taekwoon.

They were just too different and saw things differently as well.

So, Hakyeon went to the others instead. Not members of VIXX but rather, people from other groups.

He made friends outside of VIXX and the company for a long time without ever consulting with his own members. This irritated Taekwoon a bit.

Are we really not that reliable to you? What is it that you can say to others but not members of your own group? Do you not trust us?

That’s when, Taekwoon felt a jab in his conscience because he realized that he still couldn’t trust others. Even his own members. He wanted to trust Hakyeon and the others but each time he recalls that their CEO had told Hakyeon specifically to watch over him, Taekwoon got frustrated. It’s as if Hakyeon wouldn’t approach Taekwoon if it were not for the CEO’s commands.

He thought for the longest time that the only reason why anyone would want to be his friend was because the CEO told them to do so. That meant that their friendship isn’t genuine.

That meant, Taekwoon can’t trust them.

~

‘I love you!’ Hakyeon confessed with his face flushed red and looking very much embarrassed for his sudden outburst. He suddenly spurted the words from out of nowhere as the two of them were talking about Taekwoon’s composition.

Taekwoon was going to write a song for the first time because just singing wasn’t enough. Instead of singing the words that others had prepared for him, he wanted to convey his own messages through song-writing. He was hoping to get some feedbacks from the members but everyone was out and the only person at home that day was his lifelong friend, Hakyeon.

He hesitated at first about whether or not to consult with the latter but Taekwoon was stuck on how to proceed with the song.

‘Hakyeon-ah,’ Taekwoon called out to his friend who was hiding in the kitchen.

‘Y-yeah?’ Hakyeon was so surprised about Taekwoon suddenly calling for him that he choked on the water he was drinking.

‘Are you okay?’ Taekwoon approached the other and patted his back to help soothe him.

‘I-I’m fine,’ Hakyeon was stuttering for some reason. ‘What is it?’

‘Can you help me for a bit?’

‘Huh?’

‘I’m currently working on a song and I need help. Can you look over it with me?’

Taekwoon never really asked Hakyeon for any favors and this was the first. Especially when it comes to music, Taekwoon would usually consult with Wonshik but the rapper wasn’t around that day.

‘Um, sure! If I can be of any help.’ Hakyeon smiled hesitantly.

Taekwoon showed Hakyeon the song he was diligently working on. Hakyeon took a bit to read over the lyrics then looked at Taekwoon with a rather skeptical look.

‘You wrote this?’ Hakyeon almost could not believe it.

Taekwoon nodded a bit in embarrassment.

‘Wow…’ Hakyeon was quite speechless.

‘Well? What do you think? Is it too… cheesy?’ Taekwoon asked.

‘Huh? No way! It’s just that...’ Hakyeon hesitated a bit,’ it doesn’t sound like you.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well… this song talks about how you found a light in your life and that you’re crazily in love with it right?’

‘Yeah?’

‘I just didn’t think you’re the type to... well, fall so deeply in love before in order to write something like this. And you…’

Hakyeon didn’t know how to continue in order to not sound rude.

‘What is it?’ Taekwoon was urging the other to speak. ‘Is something wrong with it? Does it not sound good?’

‘No! It sounds really good! It’s just… well, they usually say that people write songs based on their own feelings or experience right? So does that mean, you finally found your light?’

‘My light?’ Taekwoon didn’t understand.

Hakyeon nodded.

‘Don’t be offended if I say this but… you’re really hard to read and no one ever knows what’s on your mind because you never tell us anything. It’s like you don’t trust us.’ Hakyeon said as he bit his lips, worried that he would make the vocalist mad.

Am I that obvious? That I don’t trust people...?

‘That’s not it.’ Taekwoon reassured him. ‘I just wrote what I had in mind, that’s all.’

‘…’

‘Hakyeon-ah?’

‘Then, you haven’t found it yet?’

‘Found what?’

‘Your light.’ Hakyeon looked at Taekwoon rather earnest to hear the answer to his question.

‘N-not yet, I don’t think?’ Taekwoon wasn’t really sure.

‘Then! Can I be that light?!’ Hakyeon sprung up from his chair and his small body suddenly trembling anxiously and with much anticipation.

‘Huh?’

‘I-I love you!’

* * * * * * A/N * * * * * *

Fun Fact: VIXX's - 'My Light' has always been my NEO song because in the last two lines of the song, Hakyeon sings "I'll shine on you by your side, I'll be your star" and then it's as if Taekwoon was replying to Hakyeon and ending the song with "You're my light."

Also, I want to mention this because there's been a few dramas on Twitter but please support VIXX as six. VIXX is VIXX because it's made of the SIX of them together. Even if you don't stan the other members, it doesn't give anyone the right to disrespect any of the members just because you stan a certian member. I always get torn when I see people calling themselves 'Starlights' but actually only stan a certain member(s) but hate on another. I don't ask for anyone to stan every member as I do but I ask for respect. All six of them have been together for so long and they're closer than family at this point. How do you think any of the members would feel if their own fans start to disrespect other members who are just like family? It would break my heart for sure. If you don't care for a member, then just keep quiet. As far as I know, Jellyfish Entertainment is one of the fairest agency I've seen in Kpop. They try to give each member certain opportunities and if certain members don't get as much opportunities as the others, maybe it's because it isn't their forte and that they have other things in mind they want to try out instead? Each member is working hard in their own unique ways and I think each member of VIXX deserves equal respect no matter who your ultimate bias is. I'm sorry I have to write this but I just really wish to get this out of my system and I strive to write my fanfics with OT6.