SeolHyun's POV

It's been a few years now, I've just turned 19 last month. I'm the oldest in the group of trainees we have and kind of the mother to these kids. We all still have so much to learn. I gave up on contacting Hoseok ever since I became a trainee, I'd see him when I would debut. He is going to be blow away by me. If he even remembers who I am in the first place. His name is Wonho now, so I guess I'll have to call him that from now on too. 

He survived the show 'No Mercy'. All the girls in the dorm were addicted to the show and made me watch it with them. There was some kind of pride in seeing him win from all the others. His dancing skills are still on par, but his singing has improved a lot too. I remember him in the past, not being able to hit a single note when he should. Vocal coaches must have helped him a lot during his trainee days. They debuted a few months ago with 'Trespass' and again: all the girls were crazy about it. I can still hear them fangirling and saying how much they like Monsta X. They're slowly becoming the next big thing. 

Wonho's looks have improved a lot too. I can hardly recognise the boy who used to protect me. His personality has changed a little too, at least that's what I think since we haven't talked in 3 years. He used to be so carefree and didn't give a damn about what people thought, but now he's all into his looks and making people fall for him. I wonder if he's like that in private too. Of course I'll never really know. 

We passed by each other once. It was about a year ago when they just finished 'No Mercy'. We were all on a rookie shoot for a magazine and they were going to be the cover. He didn't recognise me at all. He walked past me and talked to his teammates all the time. It disappointed me to see him like that, it hurt. And to be honest: I want him to see who I am right now. 

Trainee days are hard. We get up early to practice and go to bed late to sleep. Our days consist of dancing and vocal training for approximately 15 hours. Breaks are almost forbidden, but no one complains. We all want to get to the top one day, we all want to be number one. No matter what it takes, no matter the stakes. If we're going to try and get there, we have to put in the effort in doing so. 

This morning we have a meeting with our manager. He's been taking care of us for about half a year now. He's the good kind of manager who makes sure we're all healthy and eating properly. We're meeting in the practice room so everyone can fit. There are 15 of us, so finding a room is pretty hard nowadays. When I started there were only 6 of us. 5 of them moved on, I'm the only original here at this time. 

"As you guys now, Seventeen have been doing well in their promotions. They even won an award last week!" he announces and we all clap and yell. Seventeen have been here for as long as me, most of them anyways. I know them pretty well by now. "That's why Pledis has decided to release a new group. A girl group this time. Some of you have been here for a while and are just dying to debut." 

Everyone looks at me and I laugh a little. Of course I'm dying, I'm 19 for god's sake. I'm not getting any younger and what other company would take a trainee as old as me. It's now or never for me. 

"This group will contain 7 members", he explains and everyone starts whining. Not all of us will be able to stay together. "I know.. We've chosen you on the pure fact of talent. The rest of you will have to keep training!" 

We all look at each other. This means the dorms will change and the overall dynamic too. It's never easy to see people go. Take it from someone who has seen everyone go. 

"I will now announce the members: MiNa, EunHa, SooMi, YeonA, MiJin, JiHee and last but not least Seolhyun!" I'm not that surprised to hear my name. We all get up and look at one another. It's weird that we'll be forming a group from now on, but I will try my absolute best. MiNa is my best friend here anyways. "Seolhyun will also be the leader of this group. She has been here the longest and I see how you girls listen to her." 

The girls all clap and some of them are crying. Of course it's a huge letdown when some of us can debut and you're not one of them. Everyone agrees that I'm the best choice for leadership and I smile. These girls are like children to me and to be able to lead them is a great honor. 

"I'll try to do my best in leading you!" I bow to my band members and they bow back. 

"I'll miss you Seolhyun eomma", a few of the other say and it kind of breaks my heart to leave them behind. 

"I won't be completely gone. If you need me I'm just a phone call away", it reminds me of a certain someone who didn't keep that promise. 

We hug it out and in the end we're being lead away from the other girls. Everyone is chatting nervously. We don't know what will be happening next. We're brought into a dim lit room. There's a table and chairs in the middle. Our manager motions for us to sit down in the seats. We do as we're told and look at each other. 

"Well as of now I won't be your manager anymore. Your new manager will come in and introduce himself. In the meantime I want to congratulate you guys on making it this far. You've all done your absolute best. I can only wish you luck in the future!" he tells us and we wipe away some tears. It's all going to be very foreign now without someone to help us like him. He bows and leaves the room.

EunHa is the first of all of us to speak. "Am I the only one who is super excited?" she asks us and we all shake our heads. 

"I kind of feel sorry for the others though..." YeonA starts. She's the youngest of this group and will become the maknae. She's a very compassionate person who cares for everyone. 

"Me too. But we can't feel bad about this, we were chosen", MiNa states and we nod again. 

"We'll make the best out of this, plus we have SeolHyun to guide us!" SooMi says, making me blush a little. 

"Yah!" I tell her while whacking her arm playfully. 

"It's true!" MiJin states at last and I smile again. 

"Thanks for your trust in me!" 

JiHee is the only one who stays quiet after all our conversations. I know she has a hard time because she had to leave her little sister. It's always hard to be separated from someone you hold so dearly. I once dealt with the same type of thing. 

I move over to the chair beside her and take her hand in mine. 

"She'll be okay. I promise", I whisper while the others talk on about what clothes they are going to wear once they have a little money. 

"I hope so. You know how shy she is... I just hate leaving her alone like this", she whispers back. No one here, besides me, knows just how close she is with her sister. 

"We'll check on her regularly. We can even ask manager-nim to give us information about her?" I suggest and a little smile appears on her lips. 

"You really are a good leader, you know that?" she compliments me and I blush heavily. 

"I just try to do my best for my band members. That's all", I wink and she laughs a little. 

After that the new manager comes inside. His name is Sungmin and he's only 25 years old. He's not new in this profession, but it'll be his first time working with a girl group. He seems like a pretty decent guy who wants to take care of us. 

"We'll be in your care, then, Sungmin-nim", I get up and bow out of respect. The rest of the group do the same thing and he smiles. 

"Seems like your leader knows her way around!" his smile widens. "Now let's talk shop. You're going to get styled and your make-up is going to get done today. A press-conference is scheduled for this afternoon so you can be presented to the press. A photo shoot will be done too and you're going to start recording your debut song. I know it's a lot in one day, but trust me, it'll all be worth it. They want to debut you by the beginning of next month."

The beginning of next month is in 4 weeks. It'll have to make do. We've been training for this all our lives, I think we are more than ready to start our new lives. We all nod in agreement while he hands out some papers. They're instructions on what we can and can't do until we debut. It's a whole list of things we can't do. Like eating carbs and speaking to the press without supervision. It's kind of ridiculous. 

But all of this will be worth in the end. I am sure of it. The girls looks to me for further guidance but I have none to give at this time. 

"You will be transported to your new dorms a few blocks away. It'll be next to the boys of Seventeen", he tells us next. "You'll get two hours to clear your stuff and move there, starting in a few hours." 

Our own dorms! How nice is that even?! We all smile widely. Back at our old dorms we used to fight for space, but this will be different. 

"SeolHyun, your entrance exams will be postponed by 2 months. We already talked with the commission and they approved since you always have good grades", he makes sure I know. It's good that I won't have to study. 

We're transported to do our make-up and clothing. Since we're all almost over legal age we get short skirts and dresses. Mine is a black tight skirt with a pink top to accentuate my brown hair. They even put in blue contact lenses. I'm surprised when I look into the mirror. The red heels top it off and I feel like someone else, more mature. I blush at the sight of myself and everyone claps at me. The others get other classy looks, but look mature too. 

Next thing we know we're being lead out into a brightly lit room with a lot of people in it. We sit down at a table with our manager and look out over the crowd. It's all so overwhelming. The manager starts speaking and introduces us as H&K (Hugs and Kisses). I'm kind of happy with the name, there are way worse names than that out there. After that we get the chance to introduce ourselves one by one. We go from youngest to oldest. Usually the leaders ends as well, since I'm both I'm last. It's finally my turn. 

"Hello, I'm Kim SeolHyun! The leader of H&K! I hope you will support us through our debut!" I bow and then flash them my biggest smile. Camera's go off and I try to look pretty. 

After that we're lead backstage again. He congratulates us with our outstanding performance. Next thing we know we're on our way back to the dorms to clean up. 

1 new text message

Hoseok

Was that you on TV right now? Debuting with that new group? Please let me know. x Hoseok 

Me: 

That was me indeed. 

read: 10:08 am 

Hoseok: 

Wow! You've grown up so much! I didn't know you were in Seoul! 

Me: 

There's a lot you don't know about me these days. 

read: 10:10 am 

Hoseok: 

Don't be like that. I'm sorry. Let's meet up to catch up. 

Me: 

How about no? 

read: 10:13 am 

Hoseok: 

Come on. I really want to talk to you. And say sorry in person. 

Me: 

Fine, meet me tonight at the fountain in front of my company 

read: 10:18 am

Hoseok: 

I'll be the one wearing black