SeolHyun

I wake up slowly in the morning, feeling better than usual because I have actually eaten something and body has regained some of its strength. The way I get out of bed this morning is so different from other days. I actually feel happy for once ever since practicing for this comeback. 

I'm up before all the others, again. This is nothing new. I make some rice and soup for them. Even if we're losing weight, we should eat something at least. Wonho taught me that yesterday. Yesterday with him was more than anything I could've hoped for. 

"Unnie?" YeonA says while coming out of her room. She looks like she's seen a ghost. I go over to her and we both look at her phone. There is a picture of me leaning my head on the shoulder of a guy who is wearing a mouth mask and a hat. This can't be happening. At least they won't recognise Wonho. 

"Oh no", I breathe out while the others come out of their rooms. They all know already because the first thing they do when they wake up is check their social media. 

"They're even saying the guy is an idol... What will happen to Wonho when they find out?" YeonA almost cries out. I remember how much she likes Wonho as a part of Monsta X. 

"I need to call him and then the president..." I say while frantically looking for my phone. Wonho must know already, it can't be he doesn't. He doesn't pick up his phone so I try the president next. 

We have a very long conversation about what is going to happen to me for the time being and that he'll talk to Starship about this matter. Our Weekly Idol episode has already aired last week and it won't take long for people to find out who the mystery guy is. If you look closely, you can see Wonho's blue tips sticking out. Links will be made and Wonho will be indicated. 

The rest of the day we train, the debut is going on like we planned and we're even bringing out a statement later on. Telling the people that the company knew about it from the start and has no objections. They're actually going to support me in this. 

During training I fall multiple times, which is not something I do often. Everyone is worried about me, but they stand by me like a real team. I'm lucky to have them. I've said before, but I really mean it. 

It takes everything in me to not fall apart at the end of the day. I can't even go see him because it would just lead the reporters to him. Speaking of which, they're camping outside of the building, dying to get a glimpse of me. Trying to ask me who the guy is. And if we're going to go through with our comeback. Why are they so damn judgemental? Why do they need to know everything that goes on in my life? Or Wonho's? 

"SeolHyun! Who is the guy you are dating?! Is he an idol?" It starts again the second I come outside. They're like a horde of bees, zooming around you like they have business with you. The president ordered me to not talk to them at all. I should ignore them and just walk on. 

"Is it your friend and co-idol, Wonho from Monsta X?" It takes everything inside me to not turn around and scream at the damn reporter. I knew they would connect us and do this. He's already a suspect. My manager grabs me by the wrist and gets me through the crowd. He know that them mentioning Wonho might set me off. He gets me to the car and we take off. I'm so pissed by now I don't even try talking to anyone in the car. We're going to my dad's house for the time being since the dorms will be swamped with reporters too. Somehow they found out our address. 

My dad is waiting for me outside while I walk up to him. We have not come to that point where we can hug and be all family-like, but I do trust him. More than I trust my other parent, but that was not hard to do. We call from time to time, me and my dad, and we talk about trivial stuff. It makes me feel like there is at least one parent who actually cares. 

"Are you okay?" He asks me while I walk inside of his house. It's big and in a rich area in Seoul. People don't ask questions around here. He is of course the president of another big company. 

"No, yes, maybe... I will be?" I sigh and sit down at the kitchen bar. He sits across from me while I put my head in my hands. "This is not working out the way I want it to, dad." 

"I know, sweetie. It's never fun to experience these things. And it's even less fun when everyone is watching with you", he pats my hand slightly and flashes me a smile that is so familiar to me. Why? Because it looks like mine. 

"They told me I have to stay here for a while... To make it easier for the girls at the dorms..." I sigh again. It hurts to be the one inflicting so much damage on them too. "I'm their leader, I should be the one guiding them through his, not make this mess worse." 

"You know they don't think of you in that way", he soothes me. It's the one thing he is really good at. 

"I know, but still. They should be able to lean on me..." I complain some more and even groan. Suddenly my phone rings and I immediately think it's Wonho. It's not. 

"SeolHyun?" Jooheon asks me through the phone. 

"Yes, Jooheon?" 

"I'm sorry for calling you out of the blue like this, but they've taken Wonho's phone away and won't let him near us. I'm calling to tell you he's handling it", he informs me and I sigh even deeper. 

"They've figured it out, haven't they?" This is the end for us, I know it. 

"They have... They came in early in the morning and took him. I only saw him while we were at the live stages and even there he was heavily guarded by our manager. He's forbidden to speak to us because he could give us a message to send to you", Jooheon is obviously not amused by all of this. "But don't worry. He's strong." 

"Thank you so much for letting me know", I am truly grateful he called me, risking his own phone. 

We end the call and I just sink back into my chair. My dad has made me some tea to drink and I am grateful for him too. And to the president. Thanks to him I have a chance to get to know my dad. I'm finally recovering from all of those years of abuse. And he came right in time. A few years back and I would've never even given him a chance. But Wonho changed that all. He was there for me, supporting me. Even after all of those years, he was still the friend I needed. Most of the time he knows what I need better than I do. 

And now he is suffering thanks to me. That's how I am repaying him for being there for me when I need him most. I repay him by abandoning him right now. I want to go there, talk to him, but it'll only make matters worse. The news sites have already begun speculating on who my boyfriend can be. Wonho's name is out there, but his fans are protecting him. Wait. This could be the solution for us. 

"Dad, do you have a computer I can use?" I ask and he nods. He gives me his MacBook and leaves me to do what I want. He's a good judge of character these days and knows when to leave me be. This is one of those times. 

I log into his fancafé and look for the person in charge. Normally there is at least one person who takes all of this on her or him. I am not judging. I could talk to them and explain. It takes me a few hours to find the right person, but I'm sure it's her. I start up a conversation with her and ask her if we could talk in person. 

She's actually a pretty nice person after talking to her online. She cares about Wonho a great deal and only wants the best for him in the end. After explaining to her who I was, she was a bit sceptive of course. But in the end she believed me and we agreed to meet in a coffee shop. Of course I would go in disguise, because I'm already on high alert. 

I'm already here for a good half hour when she finally shows up. JuNi is her name. She sits down in front of me and for a second we just stare at each other. We're both fond of the same person but in a very different way. She idolizes him, I love him for who he is. She is the first one to break the silence. 

"So explain to me what you wanted to tell me", she says in a very serious tone. I look for my words for a second before looking her straight in the eye. 

"Wonho is in trouble. There is a possibility you will never see him on stage again, or wherever you want. Unless the fans support him. He needs you right now. He needs all the support he can get..." I start off but interrupts me. 

"Isn't it your fault he is in this position anyways?" she asks sceptically. I nod a little. 

"It's both our fault because we weren't being careful. We have been careful for a while now, but that was a mistake. We're childhood friends who have been through a load of trouble and problems. The last thing we want to do is part from each other", I explain once more. The last thing I want is to be apart from him. But if that's what it takes...

"Wonho did seem happy in that picture with you..." she mumbles a little upset. Of course she would be, she likes him. I would be annoyed too, to see the person I like being happy with someone else. 

"He is my absolute everything. And I like to believe it's the same for him", I smile while looking down at my joined hands. 

"Is Starship talking to him?" she asks, worried. "Because that would be bad..." 

"They are. They took away his phone again and won't even leave him alone with the boys. Jooheon called me to let me know..." 

"Fine, I'll talk to the rest of the dedicated fans. If I get them on board all of the other Monbebe's should follow... But one more thing?" I'm worried about what she'll ask me to do. What if she asks me to leave him and think about his career?

"Yes?"

"Do you love him? More than anything?" she asks me with watery eyes. She doesn't really want me to say yes, but she does. It's very complicated. 

"Yes." 

She breathes out and I do too. "Good. I'll talk to them. Don't worry." 

I nod and she gets up. I'm relieved to say the least because she is giving it a chance. That's the only thing I need for Wonho, a chance. It'll be okay. Or so I hope.