SeolHyun's POV

We get off stage in the end. It's all crazy, people keep on congratulating us for the amazing performance and the early win. Even the boys from EXO don't seem to bitter about losing to us. They all come and shake hands with us and flash us their famous smiles before disappearing in their dressing room. I wonder if theirs is that much bigger than ours. Of course it is. I try to find Wonho in all of the commotion but he seems to have disappeared and so have the rest of Monsta X. He seemed genuinely happy for us though. I want to talk to him more than ever. Why is he not here? I look like a lost little kid. 

Our manager tells us the president wants to see us at the company, tonight. I'm so nervous, but I know it's because he's happy for us. He just wants to tell us he is. Still, it's weird to go to his office this late at night. I take out my cellphone and try calling Wonho, he doesn't pick up, which is very weird for him. Whenever I'm involved he always picks up these days. A familiar fear strikes me. What if he's really mad at me for winning or something? Gosh. I need to stop being so insecure whenever it comes to him. It's not healthy anymore. I decide to text him. 

He says he promises but I'm still kind of anxious about it all. It's weird that he had to leave just like that. Did something happen? Snap out of it. I keep on telling myself it's okay, everything is alright. 

The ride towards the building is so long. Longer than usual, it feels. I know it's still the same distance as before, but it feels like forever in the car. The girls are holding the trophy in turns and they're gushing about how good we were to our driver. He seems to believe them, to some degree. But we did win a trophy, so he kind of has to. That and our boss pays him to do so. I'm not naive anymore like I used to be. Everyone is paid to do something in this world. Nothing is for free. 

"We're here!" EunHa calls out and I snap out of it for their sakes. We jump out of the car and run inside. It's kind of cold out tonight. The security guy sees and smiles to congratulate us on the win. Everyone must've heard by now. Knowing the president he probably announced it to the world through his speakers. He's weird like that. 

"I'm nervous for some reason!" JiHee voices what I'm feeling. She's not alone, we are all nervous. But a good kind of nervous when it comes to this. The last time I was this nervous was a couple of weeks ago when they told us we'd be a group. The waiting back then made me so nervous. This is just like that. 

We wait outside of his office for a good amount of time. Apparently he still had a meeting going on, this late at night. It's almost midnight by now. His job never stops, apparently. I'm kind of honored that he's making time for us. Some strange guy leaves his office and we're up next. We're called inside of the big wooden doors and some servant girl motions for us to sit down on the white leather couches. We're very diligent and do as we're told. A few minutes later the president joins us with a bright smile. 

"You've done really amazing girls!" he exclaims while sitting down in front of us. "I'm proud of you."

We're all blushing as he says this. I didn't expect any of it to be honest. 

"Thank you, sir. It's a really good feeling, this win. I hope we can continue in making you proud of us", I say politely with a small smile. I do really want to make him proud of us. He gave us a chance, the chance we needed for this. 

"After promotions are done, you get a few days off, because of this win", he states while writing it down for his assistant. It surprises me, since no one in this world ever really gets a vacations of some sorts. He's giving us days off to do what we like. It sounds like heaven. For 5 years all I've done is train and train, never a break in between. But what would I do with that free time? I don't even know how to relax anymore. It's been too long. 

"Thank you so much, mr. President. We'll continue this with all we've got", I say and stand up to bow. Our time has come to leave. I know when he desires for us to go and this is the time. He's said what he wanted to say to us and that's all. 

"Be sure to take care of yourselves! Manager, keep an eye on them", he winks at our manager and bids us farewell while we bow to him. Next thing I know we're on our way to the car. The car ride back is a bit more silent since exhaustion has settled in. My eyes are glued to the screen as I'm waiting for Wonho to call me. Why is he not calling me? Insecurities, insecurities. It's killing me. 

The car rolls up and we get out. Without thinking I walk towards the door, but someone grabs my hand before I reach it. Before I know it I'm being pulled into an alley next to our dorm house. I'm kind of scared, but don't call out for anyone as I turn around to look at the person. I see a grinning blonde Wonho standing there and releasing me. He looks at me from head to toe with that grin and it makes me feel weird inside. I don't know if it's good or bad. Then he pulls me in for a very tight hug. He's hugging me like his life depends on it and I'm doing the same for some kind of reason. It's the hug he wanted to give me earlier, but we couldn't. It hurts not being able to do things as we want them to. 

"Congratulations", he whispers while we're still hugging. Finally some more emotions are loosened inside of me and I let go. I cry into his shoulder, tears of joy and tears of release. All the tension in me is disappearing while Wonho hugs me. He doesn't talk, he just holds me like he used to. His embraces make me feel at home somehow, more than my real home ever did make me feel. In the end we both pull back and my heart is beating really fast for some kind of reason. 

"Thank you", I nod my head at him and wipe away the leftover tears on my cheeks. If my make-up wasn't ruined from before, it sure as hell is now from all the crying. 

"These are for you", he says while holding up a beautiful bouquet of roses in front of me. My mouth literally drops open while I look from the flowers to him and back. 

"For me?" I ask, totally stunned by the act. 

"Is there anyone else here?" he asks jokingly. He's right, we're all alone, they can only be for me.

"But why?" I'm not really sure why I deserve these. No one has ever bought me flowers before. 

"Because you won, of course..." He says matter-of-factly. I shake my head at him and new tears start to form in my eyes while I look at the flowers. "Don't cry, please."

"I'm sorry, this is just so touching", I can't stop the tears from falling down my cheeks. He comes closer again and wipes them away with his thumb. I smile at him through all of my tears and lean into his hand without thinking. That's when my body stiffens and I take a step back from him. 

"What's wrong?" his expression turns into a worried one. "Did I do something wrong?" 

My heart almost breaks at the expression on his face. He seems genuinely afraid to do something wrong with me and lose whatever trust we have build between us. I shake my head, it was totally all me. I was the one who stiffened and took a step back because I can't handle this closeness. 

"No, sorry, just me", I smile a little sheepishly to make him feel better. He lets out a deep sigh and relaxes visibly. I feel bad for making him feel this way all the damn time. Is it always going to be like that between us? Is it never going to get better? I don't know, honestly. 

"I feel kind of stupid for still standing here with these red roses in my hand", he jokes and puts his hand in his neck. He's nervous. 

"Then give them to me, stupid", I laugh and relax again. His hand gives me the bouquet of flowers and his fingers touch mine for a split second. My heart starts racing and I feel a bit lightheaded while I pull the flowers towards me. What the hell is happening to me? 

I smell the flowers and they're absolutely amazing. My eyes close in the process and I get lost in the scent. I've never ever gotten anything close to this from anyone.

"Do you like it?" Wonho asks and I open my eyes again. 

"They're just wonderful. Thank you, Wonho", I whisper and lower the flowers from my face. "I'll try to keep them alive for as long as I can." 

"That's really sweet", he laughs a little. 

"Is this why you had to leave so suddenly?" I can't help but wonder if it really was.

"Yeah, it was a pain in the to find a store that was still open", he ruffles his own hair while going through it. Meanwhile his eyes won't meet mine, it signals he's being honest with me.

"You're cute, you know?" I joke and he looks up. His eyes have this blazing fire that almost burns me in the process. It's scary, but it gets my heart racing again for no apparent reason. My body is being ridiculous. It always is when it comes to Wonho. 

"Look who's talking", he pushes my arm a little playfully to make it a bit lighter. It does the trick and I lean against the wall of the alley. 

"I'm sorry I won before you, you know? I actually thought you were kind of mad at me for something like that..." I admit while looking at the flowers. He joins me against the wall and sighs.

"Look, I'm not happy about not winning like ever. But I am happy you won. It doesn't matter if it's before me or not, you deserve it", his voice goes up a little in the end. It makes me smile unconsciously.

"Thanks for not hating me completely", I slap his arm too, but he grab my wrist and pulls me in for a side hug. I let him because it feel absolutely good. In every single way if you ask me. 

"I could never hate you." He states it simply, but the effect is nothing like that. My heart skips a few beats and then beats as hard as its ever beaten before. My head gets light and I have to hold on to him for support. I don't mind any of it at this point. We stay like that for a while and it's totally fine.