SeolHyun 

It's been a week. A full week of radio silence between me and Wonho. We are both playing the game of who will cave in first. Neither of us wants to give in. Then again, what is neither of us do? We never talk again? Just when I was getting comfortable around him again.. Not too comfortable of course. A loud sigh escapes my mouth as we're taking a break in the corner with the airco on. We've been dancing all day. The routine had to be flawless and some of us are just not that good of a dancer. But they do excel in other parts of this training. Way better at singing or rapping than me. That's for sure. 

"What's that sigh for?" JiHee asks while looking a bit concerned. She has a water bottle on her skin to cool off. 

"It's way too hot to practice", I complain and lie back on the cold wooden floor. I feel a little wind coming and I smile. They are flapping their hands for me to cool me off. "Dorks." I insult them and they all laugh. 

"Your dorks!" SooMi says and I can just hear the smile in her words. 

We've been doing pretty good so far. I've lost a few pounds too, the company wasn't kidding when they said we had to lose weight. I was practically obese when you looked at the girls of AOA or Twice. They did set some restrictions for us. If we didn't make it by debut time, our phones would be confiscated. Welcome to the stardom life. So we've been watching or food and hitting the gym regularly after our practices. They ended late, but the gym was open late too. We could do both. 

"How has it been with you-know-who?" YeonA leans over to whisper in my ear. God, it's like she's talking about freaking Voldemort from Harry Potter. Wonho was far from that. I mean, come on, he has a nose! 

"Nothing", I whisper back. Normally MiNa would be the one who I tell everything to, but she only knows of a boy. Not hat he's Wonho from Monsta X. The only one who knows is YeonA because she saw us one day. So she is the only one I can talk to. 

"Did he call or text?" Her voice is low so no one can hear us. 

"Again: nothing."

"That's what the sigh was for then?" 

"Yep." 

I stare at the ceiling and try to block all thoughts of Wonho out of my head. But the flashbacks have been coming, without me wanting any of it. For so long I've been trying to avoid them and all it took was a little of Wonho to make them come back. My nights have been positively awful due to this fact. The nightmares keep on coming and they keep me awake. MiNa doesn't ask questions when I shoot up in the middle of the night, screaming. Sometimes I put on my clothes and go for a run to forget them, or outrun them, who knows? 

"Ready?" Our choreographer asks while coming back into the room. We all groan loudly as she just laughs and plugs in her iPod. It reminds me of the time Wonho came back here with me and we danced our hearts out. I want something like that again. 

Okay, I was the weaker one this time, but my mind just keeps on going back to him every single time. I can't let it happen too often. This petulant argument we're having needs to come to a stop. It's kind of my fault anyways. Not that I need to apologise for feeling cornered and angsty. He just needs to understand why I feel this way.

Evening doesn't come soon enough. The dance practice drags on and on and on. I know all the steps by heart by now. It's not fair that we're being tortured like this. Only 3 more weeks to go. It's steadily becoming my mantra in life. 

Wonho doesn't text me anymore. He hasn't even agreed on meeting me tonight, but something tells me he won't pass up this opportunity. We've been working too hard on this for him to just throw it all away like it means nothing. I do hope I mean something to him. Maybe, maybe not. Who knows with this guy? With Hoseok I knew. But Wonho is a different story. 

The girls are not hitting the gym tonight, deciding it was way too hot for such a thing. I'm in my tank top that covers all of my back and jeans shorts when we make it out of the building. I wave them goodbye, telling them I'm going to hit the gym some more before returning to the dorms. They believe me with ease and stride away. It hurts to lie to my girls, but they know why. 

"You've lost weight", I hear a male voice stating behind me. When I turn around it doesn't surprise me that it's Wonho. 

"Had to", I interject. 

"You look so skinny.." His eyebrows are perched together in a knot. 

"Are you worried?" I ask, in wonder. 

"Kind of. What are you doing to lose weight? I hope you're eating properly?" There is the older brother figure I know again. It hurts and pleases me at the same time. The old Hoseok is still in there. 

"Yes I am eating properly.. We've been hitting the gym every night after practice", I explain to him while we both walk away from the building. 

"After practice? Are you trying to kill yourself?" Wonho's face is in utter surprise. 

"You don't know the pressure that's on us", I mumble and sit down on a bench with my back to him. 

"I do know. If anything I know it better than you", he huffs while sitting down next to me. 

"I'm sorry. That was inconsiderate and immature", I apologise because he's right. Sometimes I just need to think before I speak. 

"It's fine. The pressure is getting to you. It's understandable, especially as the leader of the group.. I see Shownu go through it every time." His hand finds mine and he squeezes it. "Don't worry, it'll all be fine." 

"Thanks." I try not to say it bitterly. "So what's up with the radio silence the past week?" Not trying to go around in circles I cut straight to the case. 

"After you walked out I figured you needed some space from me. That's why I thought you'd come around if you needed me", his explanation is actually kind of thoughtful. 

"Thank you for thinking about what I want, I mean it." My voice is so quiet right now. I'm not used to thanking people. 

"It's fine. This is hard on you. Whatever they did to you while I was gone must've been bad", he mumbles and leans in to me a little. Our hands are still joined between our legs. 

"Hah", this one is bitter. 

"You never told me what you came looking for here in Seoul", he then changes the subject, but not really. It's all connected anyways. 

"Why do you need to know?" I'm inquisitive too. 

"Maybe it was me?" 

I deadpan him before shaking my head at him. "Don't flatter yourself." It's only half true. He's only half the reason anyways. 

"Don't want to talk about it yet?" He asks me while gently pulls me into his shoulder. 

"Not tonight", I sigh and he gets it. The only one who gets what this is like. And it's the only person I can't seem to fully trust anymore.

"Understood. So what do you want to talk about?" He asks while leaning back into the bench. His blonde hair is covered with a SnapBack and my hands are just itching to take it off. I like seeing his hair loose.

"What tells you I want to talk about something?" I joke lightheartedly. 

"Then what do you want to do?" His lips form the perfect mischievous smile. 

I bite my lip and stare out in front of me. What do I want to do? Life is so full of things and all I can think off is go to the movies. 

"The movies. But they don't play them this late... Believe me, I've checked before", I sigh a little while letting my arms rest on my knees and leaning forward.

"We could play a scene from a movie?" He suggests and I shoot my head up to look at him. 

"What is that kind of crap?" I eye him suspiciously.

"No romantic scenes!" He put up his arms in defence. 

"Okay, I'm cool with that. But how are you going to pull this off?" I'm sceptic about this whole ordeal. Wonho did seem very trustworthy until now. 

"Let's do a fight scene? Like I'm the bad guy and you need to keep me from hurting others", he is clearly enjoying imagining that particular scene. 

I get up and he follows me. There's a park nearby and it's all empty of visitors by now. Only the occasional drunk is here. He sets us in the meadow in the middle and I just keep on eyeing him. What is his game plan? What is he up to? 

"Let's start. I'll begin!" He's so enthusiastic that it throws me off guard. He's getting into character as he tries to look angry and stops towards me. "HULK SMASH!" He yells and I can't hold in the laughter that rises. I nearly tumble town to the ground from laughing at the dork. 

"This is ridiculous!" I yell out as I grab for my stomach. It hurts from laughing. 

"Come on, you're ruining it!" He yells and pouts afterwards. He is being serious about this. 

"Fine, I'll play black widow then.." I suggest and try getting into character too. Scarlett Johansson is such a beautiful woman so I try to feel as beautiful as her. My hair is already red anyways now. 

Wonho starts to play his part again. "HULK SMASH!" He yells and I try keeping in my smile. It works remarkably well when you're in character. 

"Bruce, come on, don't do this. People will die!" I yell back and stand in front of him. 

"SMASH!" Wonho yells again. Wow he doesn't have a lot of lines does he? 

"Bruce! I know you're in there somewhere. Please, you care about people! Snap out of it!" I yell as black widow and Wonho comes to a stop in front of me. He tilts his head like he understands what I'm saying. 

"Think about it Bruce. You always feel so guilty after ruining so many lives. Do you really want to go through that again? Let go of the anger", I plead with him and he looks as me with sympathetic eyes. 

"Na-ta-sha?" He says in syllables. I smile and nod. 

"Yes, it's me, Natasha. Listen to my voice, it'll all be fine if you just listen to me", I say sweetly while Wonho is gradually sinking to the ground. In the end he just lies on the ground and pretends to morph back into Bruce Banner aka the Hulk. "Is it you?" I ask while sinking down too. 

"Natasha? What happened?" He asks me all confused and I lean in a little. 

"You tried to smash a city. It'll all be okay. You turned back." I smile at him and he smiles back. Suddenly I notice how close we are to each other and a blush creeps up my cheeks. It's hard to concentrate with him being so close to me. 

"Did you enjoy the movie?" He asks while still being so close to me. Neither of us turn away or back up. It's strange but I'm hypnotised.