SeolHyun's POV

After getting of stage one of the other rookies comes up to me to talk. His name is SeungJun and he is so tall that I have to really look up to see him. The boys of KNK seem really nice though, they've been having a lot of fun around the backstage area. Someone is always running after someone else for something. It's entertaining to watch. SeungJun has been throwing me a few smiles over the days and he seems really kind. That's why I'm talking to him now.

"You seem to be doing really well for a debut group", he says while leaning down a bit so I don't have to crane my neck all of the time. 

"Yeah, I'm happy to see the reactions! I actually heard you guys trained with BTS?" I heard it a few days ago while changing. The girls from my group are really smitten with these guys, KNK that is. 

"Wow, I'm glad you know so much about us", he smiles and I whack his arm playfully. 

"I said I heard it", I laugh and he nods. 

"Fine. I won't mention it. But yes we did train with them. You probably want their phone numbers or something now?" he seems to be a bit more serious. It makes me wonder if that happens a lot. 

"Nope. Why would I want that?" I tilt my head to the side because it confuses me. 

"Most of the girls do want it... So my predictions about you are true", he grins again and it's rubbing off on me since I grin too. 

"Predictions?"

"Yeah, I always assumed you'd be nice and not after something. You seem really genuine." That's actually pretty nice to hear from someone. A lot of people in this business are after something all the time. 

"Thank you", I blush and he laughs. In the corner of my eye I see someone walking away angrily. The blonde set of hairs tells me it's Wonho. Why is he so mad? And why didn't he come say 'hi'? SeungJun follows my gaze and I see him frown a little. 

"So what's the deal with Wonho? You seem pretty close. He's actually the reason why I didn't talk to you earlier..." SeungJun suddenly changes into a really shy guy. I heard he's like this: cool on stage and  really giddy and cute in real life. I do seem to hear a lot of things here.

"We've been friends for a long time, that's all. And he shouldn't stop you from talking to me. He's not as scary as he looks", I joke and SeungJun actually laughs with me. After that we talk for a little more before the show really starts. We have to separate and decide to talk some more tomorrow. He's really fun to be around.

Our stage comes on again and we perform. Honestly, I think this is our best performance yet. We blow everyone away and after that we have another stage with a slow song. I'm not as good as a singer as EunHa, but I'm decent. Our vocals are stable and the rappers do an amazing job too. I love all of it. The public applauds us as we go off stage. 

"That was so good!" JiHee screams as soon as we're off. And it was. 

"Did you see the crowd go ballistic?" YeonA shouts back and I love how excited the young members are. The rest of us just give high fives and hug. It really was the best thing ever to do. Next up are Monsta X. They're doing their goodbye stages all week and it's kind of sad I won't be able to see them casually after this anymore. Wonho and I will have to go back to our late night meetings. They wear me out, but it's kind of fun too since we've been getting really close again. 

Wonho walking away is still going through my head as I sit down. There was someone with him, I think it was Hyungwon. Maybe he can tell me why. I'm too scared to ask Wonho. Contrary to what I told SeungJun a good hour ago, I still think Wonho can be really scary. Most of the time he is sweet, but I don't want him to get mad at me. It's ridiculous really. 

Monsta X  finishes and they go off and sit in a large couch. Hyungwon stays behind a little and I stand in front of him I try to look my cutest while talking to him. "Can we talk for a second?" 

"Sure", he nods and goes with me outside. 

"I was wondering why Wonho stalked off like that earlier..." I say, cutely.

"Why don't you ask him?" Hyungwon seems kind of annoyed with me. Damn, the cute thing is not working. Other strategy it is then. 

"Because you and I both know how scary he can get whenever he's annoyed..." I say a little scared with a shudder. 

"You're right on that account", he laughs and I'm happy this seems to be working. "He just saw you and SeungJun talking. It kind of pissed him off. Don't ask me why."

"Dang, that was my next question..." I say with a sad smile. Now I still have to ask Wonho why the hell he was mad.

"Good luck", Hyungwon says with a chuckle and makes his way back to the couch and the boys. I'm even more confused than before. Wonho's been acting strange for a while now. 

Wonho's standing in the doorway looking at me strangely and I walk over to him to talk. The only thing he does in return is walk away, pretending he didn't see me at all. Well, you too then. 

The ceremony is coming closer and closer. My nerves grow even bigger since every time I walk up to Wonho, he just walks away, shaking his head. I've tried so hard to open myself up to him again, so this hurts even more. It takes some kind of grip on my chest. All the effort is just going down the drain with every time he walks away from me. When did I become this dependent of Wonho in the first place? When did I start letting him in again? It doesn't make any sense anymore. And I'm tired of running after him so I stop. 

"We haven't seen you talking to your boyfriend today", YeonA jokes when I join them again. They're sitting in our little dressing room, playing a card game. I join in with them and just ignore our maknae. 

"Does she have to talk to him every day?" MiNa comes to my rescue a few seconds after. I shoot her a thankful smile and she smirks back at me. 

"I saw her talking to someone else earlier", MiJin grins widely while putting down a good card. It earns her a groan from all the other girls including me. 

"Who was it?" EunHa joins in the conversation.

"SeungJun from KNK. You know the handsome tall guy!" MiJin almost screams out. I put my hand over to shush her since he could hear her from the other side of this place. I don't want to send the wrong signals to anyone. Especially not SeungJun, he's been really kind to me. 

"You did not?!" SooMi yells in a hushed tone. "Why are you taking all the handsome ones? First Wonho, now SeungJun. Seriously!" 

"That's why Wonho's been annoyed all day", JiHee says and I lean in to her. 

"What do you mean?" This is confusing. Why would he be annoyed after seeing us talk? 

"Well, Wonho was really pissed after seeing you and SeungJun talk earlier... Maybe he's jealous? It does seem like that", she confesses and puts down a ty card. YeonA laughs with her card and she slaps the girl in response. "Don't laugh with your elders."

"Oh please!" YeonA is laughing so hard. 

It all dawns on me. Is he really jealous of SeungJun? It took a really long time for Wonho to get into my good graces again, maybe he's jealous of me being so easy on SeungJun. I've been really stupid to not see that. Of course he would be mad, but doesn't he see that it's harder to let him in again? He left me at a very crucial time. It all got worse after he left me all alone. Whenever I called him, he was too busy and in the end he just ignored me. That hurt my feelings beyond repair and the trust was broken forever. Now I'm trying my hardest to trust him again, but it's never going to be easy. I'm not even sure if I'll ever be able to trust him fully again. We're just so different now. We're nothing alike anymore but I can't help but feel some kind of feelings for him. I just don't know how to place them. 

"I'm going to look for him again", I sigh and get up. Wonho probably wanted me to realise this all before he talked to me. He's like that, making me think before acting. He's very mature in that way, always has been. 

He's in the cafeteria waiting for our call on stage. Some artists are still performing, so we have to wait a very long time. I sneak up on him from behind and sit down in the seat beside him. He makes a move to get up and walk away again, but I put my hand on his arm in response. "I know why you're mad."

"Oh really?" he asks while cocking up one eyebrow in amazement. 

"Yeah, you're mad at me for talking to SeungJun like that while talking to you doesn't go that easy", I say and he nods a little shyly. I'm sure he's quite embarrassed about the way he's been acting, but pride wins it in the end. "Well?"

"You're right. I'm jealous of him", he states and my mouth drops open. 

"Why? You don't need to be... It's not like we're dating", I roll my eyes and he moves a little forward.

"No, but you two seemed so comfortable. It's been a while since I've seen you so carefree with anyone. Whenever you're with me you're always on guard", he whispers so no one else hears it. We're already attracting stares. Like always. 

"You know why..." I whine and he leans back again. 

"Let's get back, we're on in a short while. I'm pretty sure this was the last act", he says and gets up. He's waiting for me to follow him. I do so diligently. 

Turns out he was right about this group being the last act. We're all invited back up on stage. The girls are beside me while we're standing beside Monsta X. We're somewhere in the middle of everything. Suddenly they call out our names so we have to stand in the front. My mind is still on what Wonho said while walking up. I almost trip over my heels, but Wonho catches me and straightens me up before releasing. The beating of my heart tells me this is wrong, but it feels right. 

The crowds are hushes while we look out over them. The voting stopped and the results are in. It's just like last week: us against EXO. The boys from EXO are so sweet though, when we first lost they all hugged us. This time I'm sure we won't win, since they're really big stars over all of this country. We're just a beginning group. The MC's are making small talk while the results are being counted again. Then the screen on the bottom of the podium shows both our names. The votes are shown on them and they come in 4 categories. The first category is a win for us. The second one too. The third one is for EXO and then it's time for the final one. Suddenly the MC's scream out our names and I'm totally surprised. 

Confetti is falling down all around us while there's a trophy being pushed into my hands, along with a microphone. I'm so stunned that EunHa has to take over in talking. Tears are streaming down my cheeks while EunHa stops talking from the tears too. 

"Ehm, I want to thank all of the people who have voted for us. It's our first win ever and I never dreamed of having it so soon! Our fans are the best! I also want to thank Pledis for giving us this opportunity. Thank you so much", I say through my tears while MiNa takes over this time. There is a small tap on the back of my shoulder. Wonho is standing behind me and gives me the smallest nod of congratulations. I nod back and cry some more. He wants to hug me, I can tell, just like he used to, but we can't in front of all of these people. That's when I feel a jab of pain too. It'll never be easy.