Gift for _acee_

Gift from ???

Title of the gift: Glorious Destiny

Pairing(s): 2jae, Markjin(?)

How many words: 6,870

Rating: None

Warnings: Few curse words (nothing major)

Note to my giftee: I tried to work with what you gave me. I’m sorry if this is terrible or not what you wanted. This was the first time I’ve ever entered a writing contest of any kind, so I want to thank you for giving me an opportunity to expand and improve my writing ability (even though I still need lots of improvement). Thanks for reading, and Merry Christmas ^^

Glorious Destiny

A wise person once said “fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.” Im Jaebum can’t count how many times he’s replayed this quote in his head in an attempt to comfort himself when he encountered one failure after another. There was an unobtrusive yet cruel truth in the quote beneath its vague humor; Jaebum couldn’t agree nor disagree with the wise words. All he could do was wonder why his fate wasn’t a nice, clean family restaurant with a buffet table filled with all of his favorite foods. Alas, fate (or life) isn’t that generous.

Jaebum figured that out after he graduated high school, and attended an art school to achieve his dream of being a professional photographer. He wasn’t picky or what you would call a perfectionist with the many moments he wanted to capture with both his camera and mind. In no time, he had earned many of his professor’s favor, and had won various awards for his completed portfolio assignments. Some art onlookers had even given Jaebum high praise, calling him a ‘prodigy,’ or comparing his work with well-known artists.

However; that was just it, praise. No matter how many times people would call him a ‘prodigy,’ or nickname him after some famous artist, Jaebum soon realized that none of it was paying his tuition. That’s how he ended up here, at a not so early age of twenty-seven, working as the main photographer for Scruff, a men’s fashion magazine.

“The models are ready,” Bambam reported, capturing Jaebum’s attention. He looked briefly around the cold underground studio, making sure everything was prepared for today’s photoshoot. It was for the underwear section of the men’s catalog, the last in the magazine, and Jaebum couldn’t be any more thankful that his work was almost complete. “Alright, bring them in.”

Bambam did as he was told. Quickly, he ushered two models into the room, both wearing thin velvet robes. Jaebum froze on the spot when he saw one of the models. Unlike any of the previous models he’s worked with, this particular model was very…small. Jaebum couldn’t help but think it as he looked the boy over.

Although he was about the same height as the other model, his physique was much thinner, and as both models let the ties to their robes slip, Jaebum noticed that the other model was more lean and muscular. It was a first for the photographer to witness an underwear model with such a small frame, as they usually are like bodybuilders, with ripped tight muscles.

Jaebum quickly averted his eyes to the ground in fear of being noticed that he was shamelessly staring. He let Bambam hurriedly apply the last finishing touches to both of the model’s make up before picking up his camera. “Okay, we’re going to do individual shoots first, and then have you two together,” Jaebum announced. “So, you…”

“Choi Youngjae,” the pretty model said. Jaebum nodded and cleared his throat. “You’re first.”

Jaebum watched silently behind his thick framed glasses as Youngjae finally let the robe that was halfheartedly resting on his shoulders fall into Bambam’s arms. Youngjae walked in somewhat of a confident manner that Jaebum noticed right away. The raven haired model didn’t seem to be new to this line of work. Or, maybe he was just that good at keeping his nerves together.

Jaebum shook his head slightly, trying to come back to his senses. He ignored the fact that he wanted to know more about the model.

As he looked up at the other, Jaebum couldn’t help but be captivated by the sight. Youngjae sat comfortably on the specially placed round ottoman, his hands digging into the red material behind him. His form and position was made for flaunting the grey designer briefs that hugged his hips so perfectly his milky white skin looked even paler in comparison. Jaebum let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding in as he put the camera to his face.

Even through the lens, Youngjae’s beauty was apparent. The young model wore a calm expression, with an attitude like he’s done this a million times before, and Jaebum couldn’t be anymore enthralled. It was admirable how neutral he maintained even though it was currently below °50 inside the studio, due to the chilly weather outside. Up close, Jaebum could see every line and mark that one wouldn’t notice from afar. He felt a sense of delight in seeing the details engraved into Youngjae’s flawless skin, which was stupid because he was sure that he wasn’t the first person to notice how beautiful the boy was.

After taking the shots needed, the rest of the shoot was an aching blur to Jaebum. He heaved a long sigh as he sat down in front of his working computer, looking over today’s photos. He paused on one picture of Youngjae, admiring how good it turned out. Jaebum smirked, feeling accomplished with his work.

“You’ve done an amazing job Im Jaebum-ssi, the pictures came out really well.”

Jaebum turned to the voice above him, and had to physically stop himself from jumping up from his seat. There stood the young model from said pictures, wearing a small smile and the same velvet robe he walked into the room with (that didn’t even do justice in hiding his sharp collarbone). Jaebum pushed away the slight disappointment he had now that the thin cloth was covering the faint abs that formed shyly on the model’s abdomen.

He cleared his throat as he stood up from his chair, finally facing the other. “That’s because I had a great model,” he commented. Jaebum refused to look surprised at the suddenness of his own words. I can’t believe I just said that.

Youngjae didn’t seem to be bothered by the comment as the corner of his lips curved into a bigger smile, his pearly white teeth making an appearance. He rubbed the nape of his neck, and let out a soft laugh that unwillingly brought goosebumps to Jaebum’s skin. “Not at all,” he dismissed. “I’m far from being a great model. There’s still a lot I have yet to learn.”

Before Jaebum could tell Youngjae that he sincerely meant what he said, there was suddenly someone calling out to the latter. Both turned to the person as he began to approach them.

Jaebum eyed the man when he decided to whisper something in the model’s ear. Youngjae quickly nodded, and looked back at Jaebum. “Even though it was short, it was nice to finally meet you,” he grinned.

“You too,” Jaebum replied, before Youngjae left with the man. He let out a sigh as he returned to his work chair with a sudden heavy weight on his chest.

From a young age of twelve, Jaebum knew that he was different from the other boys around his age group. While the youthful pre-teens around him went through the early stages of puberty, and became curious or interested in females and their bodies, Jaebum didn’t. Actually, it was more like he couldn’t. While the boys in his class would debate over which idol from a girl group had the prettiest face or the best figure, it was impossible for Jaebum to think anything else but disgust.

Only until he turned fifteen was he able to figure out why he was so different. He was gay, but couldn’t be proud about it.

Jaebum sneezed when the cold air hit his bare face as he walked down one of the curved roads in his neighborhood. It was around ten o’clock in the morning when he decided that he would fetch some coffee from the antique coffee house he usually frequented on his days off. It wasn’t until after lunch did he actually bring himself to get dressed and walk into the cold December air. He visibly shivered as he rounded the narrow corner, the chill wind too much for his sensitive skin.

How can anyone bear this weather? Jaebum wondered as he passed by a happy couple walking hand in hand, wide smiles spread across their lips as they huddled close together. It was bitter of him to grimace at their merriment, but he couldn’t help it. They only reminded him of how single he was, especially since it was so close to Christmas.

Sighing, Jaebum rounded another corner. His ears perked up when he suddenly began to hear yelling close by. Cautiously, he walked slowly, the yelling only getting louder. It was only when he made it down the end of the street was he able to finally witness the cause of the boisterous noise.

He froze behind an alley wall when he realized how close the noisy couple was. A lover’s quarrel? Jaebum figured as a tall brown haired man was looking down at a figure that was hidden out of the photographer’s sight.

“Why are you being like this?” he heard the figure say, voice laced with something akin to panic. The voice was of a man’s, Jaebum noted. So, it’s not a lover’s quarrel? “I already told you I wasn’t interested, why are you doing this?”

I shouldn’t be listening to this, Jaebum thought, before deciding to pass them by. Despite himself, he glanced at them, catching a glimpse of the figure that he couldn’t see before, only to come to an abrupt stop. His eyes widened in shock because he just couldn’t believe it. Youngjae?

Jaebum was tempted to intervene in the dispute, but soon realized that it wasn’t his place to do such a thing. He and Youngjae weren’t close, so there wasn’t really any reason for him to greet the young model. Regardless of all, Jaebum couldn’t find it in himself to move from his spot.

It was only until the tall man suddenly grabbed Youngjae by the arm, causing him to wince in pain, did Jaebum dismiss all thoughts. His long limbs moved on their own accord, and in a matter of seconds he was between the two, breaking off the grip the man had on the model.

Both were shocked at the photographer’s sudden appearance. “Jaebum-ssi?” he heard Youngjae mutter softly from behind him.

“Who the hell are you?” the tall man asked, after recovering from the shock, his features taking on an angry expression. Jaebum blinked at the question. What was he supposed to do now?

He cursed himself internally. Why are you acting like a damn hero? Clearing his throat, Jaebum glanced at the young model that stood protectively behind him. He flinched at the wide eyed boy who was looking at him with anticipation. Shoving down the nerves, Jaebum looked back at the furious man before him.

“Nobody,” he replied nonchalantly, before taking Youngjae’s hand in his own and running away from the scene. He heard the model gasp in surprise by the precipitous action, while the tall man began yelling at them. His yelling fell on deaf ears as Jaebum gripped the other’s hand tighter when they rounded the narrow alley corner.

It wasn’t until the coffee house was in his sight, and the man’s yelling could no longer be heard, did Jaebum stop. Blood was rushing to his ears as he panted harshly; sweat formed on his skin, making his sweater stick to his back uncomfortably.

Youngjae was panting just as hard as he was, coughing in between the attempts to regain his breath. After they both had managed to do so, the model suddenly began to burst into a fit of laughter. Jaebum eyed him with a raised brow, wondering what was so funny. Youngjae shrugged off the photographer’s expression before sighing in relief.

“Thank you, Im Jaebum-ssi.”

Jaebum spluttered at the beautiful smile the other gave him, and shook his head as the heat began to rise to his cheeks. “Uh, there’s a coffee shop over there. Would you like to go get some coffee?” he asked after a moment, hoping that the other wouldn’t say no to the abrupt question. He didn’t know why, but he felt uneasy leaving Youngjae by himself. After what just happened, he wasn’t sure if he ever wanted the model out of his sight. Okay, no. Stop, Im Jaebum. What are you thinking?

To his surprise, the other chuckled before giving a small nod. “I’d like that,” he grinned. “But, are you going to hold my hand all the way there?”

The photographer’s eyes widened as he realized that he was still holding onto Youngjae’s soft hand. Immediately, he released the model’s hand, eliciting an awkward laugh that only seemed to fuel the latter’s amusement. Why can’t you act normally? Jaebum scolded himself.

The photographer could only stare at the other as the model’s eyes roamed the antique styled coffee house in admiration.

It was a small, isolated shop located away from the busy Seoul streets that Jaebum had come across during his college days. It was calm, quiet, and he found it refreshing compared to the busy, noisy coffee shops near his college, where endless streams of students or locals would line up and converse. Jaebum had always been the introverted type, so here, he always felt less anxious, and was able to just be himself. Of course, not at the moment however.

For the first time in all his years of coming to this coffee shop, Jaebum felt nervous, the anxiety building up with every minute that passed in silence. Finding it unbearable, he attempted to make conversation.

“You know, you really didn’t have to pay for my coffee,” he said, breaking Youngjae out of the fascinated trance he was in. The raven haired boy shook his head in disagreement, finally picking up the mug of vanilla latter he ordered for himself. It was a beverage that was a little too sweet for Jaebum’s taste. “Of course I did. How else was I going to thank you for helping me?”

Jaebum caught himself before he almost spluttered, saving himself from the embarrassment. “I didn’t really do anything…”

Youngjae smirked behind his mug, blowing the steam away from the still hot beverage. Clearing his throat, Jaebum ran his thumb along the rim of his pink mug. “Do you usually attract people like that?” he asked after a moment of reluctance, unable to find himself to look into the other’s eyes.

The model pondered for a moment, looking down at his own mug. “Sometimes…” he replied timidly, obviously tense about the topic. Jaebum cursed himself for asking the question before he finally looked at the other. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable,” he said, rubbing the nape of his neck awkwardly.

Youngjae shook his head abruptly, surprised by the other’s sudden apology. “No worries, it’s okay,” he reassured. “Um,” he began, steering the conversation in another direction. “Do you come here often?”

Jaebum blinked at the model’s question. It wasn’t until a couple seconds of silence did the latter realize how the question had sounded. Immediately, his eyes widened and his cheeks took on a slight pinkish shade that if Jaebum hadn’t been paying attention to, he would have never noticed. “Oh no, I didn’t mean to make it sound like that,” the model said, looking flustered. “It’s just-you seem like your familiar with everything-and…well”

The photographer couldn’t stop the chuckle that erupted past his lips. He was in shock seeing a new side of Youngjae. The unnerved, disoriented, and cute Youngjae.

“I understand,” Jaebum said, stiffening another small laugh that wanted to be let loose, because the pout on the young model’s face was just too much. “I do come here a lot; have been ever since my second year in college around five years ago.”

“What?” The model’s eyes widened in surprise. “If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you? I mean, I knew you were older than me, but I wasn’t sure by how many years.”

“Twenty-seven,” Jaebum replied, a little embarrassed to admit. “I know, I’m a grandpa.”

Youngjae laughed at the photographer’s self-deprecating joke, and shook his head. “What are you talking about? You still look so young.”

“How old are you?” Jaebum asked curiously, ignoring the way Youngjae’s comment had his whole body flushed.

“Twenty-five,” the model replied. “I know, I look younger.”

Jaebum snorted. “What are you talking about? You’re still handsome.” The elder’s eyes widened as the words left his mouth. He really needed to start putting his foot in it. It came as a surprise to him when Youngjae smiled brightly, his pearly white teeth showing, and his oval eyes turned into crescent moons. “Oh? You think I’m handsome?”

The photographer actually spluttered that time. Is he flirting with me? he wondered.

Both startled when suddenly a phone ringing broke their playful atmosphere. It was Youngjae’s as he fished his phone from his (probably designer) jacket pocket, the ringing tone increased, no longer muffled by the thick cloth. “Saved by the bell,” the model joked with a smirk, making Jaebum’s face heat up.

He excused himself before leaving the elder and walking out of the coffee house. All Jaebum could do was let out a long sigh when the other was out of sight. He rubbed his palms over his face, wondering just what the bloody hell was he doing. “He’s your co-worker,” he reminded himself. Even though they had only worked together once, it didn’t matter. They were still working in the same industry, him as a photographer, and Youngjae as a model. Flirting (even if it was harmless) with each other, or dating would be highly inappropriate.

Jaebum sighed as the truth dawned upon him. Get a hold of yourself, Im Jaebum.

“I’m so sorry,” Youngjae apologized as soon as he came back to the table. “I totally forgot about this appointment I have to attend.”

“It’s okay,” the photographer reassured with a small smile, though it was a bit difficult to hide his disappointment.

Youngjae sighed in relief, before putting on hurried expression. “If it’s okay with you, would like to exchange numbers?” he asked, surprising the other. Jaebum blinked up at the younger. “Oh, sure,” he replied, digging through his pants pocket for his cell phone. He handed it over to the model, as the latter did the same. Quickly, they both put in their numbers.

“It was nice to see you again, hyung!” Youngjae exclaimed, before exiting the coffee house in a rush.

Bewildered, Jaebum looked down at his phone, eyeing over the younger’s number. His lips quirked into a smile. If someone saw, they’d think he’d just accomplished something big. “Wait a minute,” he paused. “Hyung?”

Jaebum was seventeen when his parents divorced. Truthfully, he wasn’t surprised or depressed about as much as his relatives had been. He had seen it coming around his sixteenth birthday, when both of his parents looked ill just being in the same room as each other. Jaebum never truly knew what went on in or around his house when he was at school. Evidently, whatever it was was enough for his parents to end their twenty-four year relationship.

After they had their marriage annulled, Jaebum lived with his mother. She was a hardworking and ambitious woman, her personality reflecting the passion she had for her job as a lawyer. To say that their relationship was close would be a lie.

Within the same year of his parents’ divorce, Jaebum met Park Jinyoung, his best (and probably only) friend. Like him, he was gay. Unlike Jaebum however, he was out and proud. Jinyoung was nearly the complete opposite of Jaebum. If it wasn’t for their similar interests in art and photography, they would have most likely just passed each other by.

Jaebum was, and will forever be grateful to Jinyoung. He had been the very first person Jaebum truly trusted, and could be honest about anything with, especially his ual orientation. He told him things he’d never even dream of telling his mother, and Jinyoung was okay with it all.

“Hey, you made it!” Jaebum heard an all too familiar voice exclaim. Sure enough when he turned around it was none other than Jinyoung, his best friend and host of tonight’s opening party. The latter had finally opened an art gallery that he had been talking about non-stop over the course of the last few months. Jaebum was happy for him, really, but the fact that the room was filled with art critics and various other noisy people he couldn’t give a about was making it a little difficult for him to breathe and keep his friendly smile. “Why would I miss it?”

Jinyoung scoffed, but grinned nevertheless. “I don’t know, maybe because you’re an introvert who’s awkward around big crowds of people and hates anything remotely close to social gatherings.”

The photographer grimaced, as the other chuckled; amused that it didn’t take long before his friend’s smile dropped. “Sorry I’m not like you,” Jaebum apologized mockingly. “Damn social butterfly.”

At that, Jinyoung laughed openly, gaining a few odd glances from the folk around them. He ignored them as he gave Jaebum a look of false pity. “Don’t worry, my friend. Even though you’ve been this way since high school, I’m sure you won’t die being awkward forever.”

Jaebum rolled his eyes before Jinyoung gave him a pat on the back. “That aside, I have something to show you.”

“What is it?” the photographer asked as the other looped their arms together and dragged him through a small group of people to get to the nearest wall.

“A surprise,” Jinyoung smiled.

“But you know I don’t like surprises,” Jaebum commented.

“Yeah, but I do,” his best friend replied, before they both came to a stop. “Close your eyes.” Reluctantly, Jaebum did as he was told. He knew better than to reject Jinyoung. Once again he felt himself being dragged through a crowd, the exuberant sound of men and women filling his ears. By the end of the night, he was sure that he’d have a raging headache.

“Okay!” Jinyoung said, excitement evident in his voice. “You can look now.”

When Jaebum did, he couldn’t stop his eyes from widening. It was a surprise indeed, as he now found himself standing in front of a large framed picture, the one he had taken long ago during his senior year in high school for an art project. It was during a time of learning new colors that were bright and exhilarating, and yet also during a time of pain, discontentment and empathy.

There on the wall hung his past self; what represented him and what he wanted to be. The photo was something he took on a whim while sitting in his backyard, during the time his father was packing his things. It was spring, and the day after they were hit with a rainfall. The sun shined brightly in the now clear blue sky, as if yesterday didn’t even happen.

Jaebum knew that his mother was going to scold him for sitting in the still damp grass while wearing his school uniform, but he just couldn’t find a moment to care as he stared at the patch of flowers he and his father had planted months ago. He kept them healthy, Jaebum noticed.

A sigh left him as he fumbled with the camera in his hands, bringing it to his face, and zooming in on the variety of flowers his father kept alive and well. He paused when a small orange and black butterfly came into view, landing on daylily flower. It was just a regular old butterfly, the kind that you’d find nearly anywhere. There was nothing special or unique about it, but the way it clung to the pink daylily like its life depended on it (maybe it did), and the nectar so greedily had Jaebum charmed.

Silently, he snapped the picture, and when he did, the butterfly finally flew out of his sight.

Till this day, Jaebum still doesn’t understand how or why the photo got him an A, and a generous praise from his art teacher. Now that he was looking at again, it was so simple and amateurish.

“How did you get this?” he asked, after a long pause.

Jinyoung, who stayed by his side the whole time, admired the photo on the wall as if he was in just as much of a daze as Jaebum was. “I have my ways,” he replied nonchalantly, and if the other wasn’t feeling touched at the moment, he’d have probably pinched him.

“Is it okay for it to be hanging on this wall?” the photographer wondered aloud. Jinyoung snorted and furrowed his brows. “What are you talking about?”

“I mean-“ Jaebum sighed, “compared to the others, don’t you think it’s too dull? You could literally find pictures like this on the internet by browsing Google.”

Jinyoung shook his head, and chuckled softy. “How could you say that about your own photo?” he asked, baffled. “Wasn’t this the photo you took that began your journey on being a professional photographer?”

Oh, right. It took Jaebum a second to remember what started it all; his interest in photography, his passion for capturing the various moments of life, his frail sense of care for anything else but. Jaebum didn’t know if he should consider it a blessing or a curse that the very photo before him started him on a rocky road where nothing could be seen but thick fog, only to end up where he was now. It’s that not he hates what he has now; it just wasn’t what he had wished and dreamed of when he was younger.

“Sorry,” Jinyoung apologized. “I’ll be back in a sec.”

“Wait, what?” Jaebum asked only after his best friend excused himself to tend to his guests. The photographer scoffed and sighed. He had forgotten momentarily that he was at a party, and Jinyoung was the host.

Now he was left alone, facing a part of the past he no longer cares about and would rather forget. Walking to the nearest finger food and beverage table, Jaebum didn’t hesitate to grab himself a flute glass of champagne.

“Jaebum hyung?” he heard someone say, causing him to look around in shock. That voice is…

“Youngjae?” the photographer faced the younger who was walking over to him with a small smile placed on his petal like lips, along with an unfamiliar man following right behind him. Tonight was just full of surprises.

“Wow, I can’t believe we met again like this. You look great.”

Jaebum could only blush at the compliment before he sneakily scanned over the young model. Like him, Youngjae was also wearing a black suit, but his was a designer, and there was no other word Jaebum could think of but perfection. His raven hair was slightly parted in the middle, showing off his forehead which the photographer was seeing for the first time. Jaebum didn’t know why or how the young model was making him feel a certain way, and think things he’d be too embarrassed to say aloud when they barely knew each other. Youngjae made him feel odd, but not in a bad way.

“Yeah, it’s good to see you again. You look great too.”

The compliment made Youngjae smile brighter and the pink tint on Jaebum’s cheeks grow darker. “Thanks,” the model chuckled. “I guess I should have known you’d go to places like these.”

“My friend’s the new owner actually.”

“Really?” Youngjae asked, eyes wide in a way that reminded Jaebum of a playful puppy. “You must know a lot of amazing people, hyung.”

Jaebum caught himself before he unattractively snorted at the way the other referred to Jinyoung. That demon in disguise was anything but “amazing”.

“Jaebum!” Speak of the disguised demon. “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?” The photographer could only glare at the other before holding back a gasp when Jinyoung pinched his arm. He must have known what Jaebum was thinking.

“This is Youngjae, we met and worked together recently. Youngjae, this Jinyoung, my friend I told you about.” Jaebum’s halfhearted explanation didn’t go unnoticed by Jinyoung who decided to pinch him again. The photographer bit his lip to endure the pain as he not so secretly glared at his friend who wore an innocent intrigued smile. “Nice to meet you, Youngjae. And who is this?” Jinyoung asked, his eyes drifting to the man beside the model. Something sparked in his dark brown orbs, Jaebum noticed. He had the same look on his face as a predator eyeing over its prey. The photographer grimaced, because he knew exactly what was going on in his best friend’s head. He was practically already undressing the man with his eyes, and he didn’t even know his name yet.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” Youngjae smiled, completely oblivious to what was going on. “This is my friend and co-worker, Mark.” Jaebum wasn’t surprised at all to find out that the man was also a model. His gorgeous features were enough for people to tell he wasn’t just anyone.

“It’s a pleasure,” Mark smirked, holding out a hand for Jinyoung to shake. Jaebum was still wearing a grimace when his best friend took Mark’s hand and shook it, holding on a bit longer than a normal hand shake should be. The way Jinyoung was flirtatiously looking at the model didn’t settle Jaebum’s stomach.

“Should I get you a drink, Mark?” the ‘disguised demon’ asked with a not so innocent look in his eyes. The other agreed before Jaebum could say anything, and within seconds he was left alone with Youngjae. Great.

“It’s a Viceroy,” Youngjae said.

“What?”

“The butterfly,” he replied, pointing towards the photo hanging on the wall.

“Oh,” Jaebum responded dumfounded, before walking beside the model who was staring at the butterfly so intently. “Do you like the picture?” he found himself asking, curious of the other’s opinion on the photo he took.

“It’s beautiful,” Youngjae smiled softly. “Although it looks like a Monarch at first glance, the lines on the butterfly’s hind wings are of a Viceroy. The color is brighter under the sun too. The photographer captured the photo well.”

“You know the difference between butterflies?” Jaebum asked, surprised. It looked like any regular old butterfly to him.

“Actually, I’m kind of an insect nerd,” Youngjae admitted shyly. “My father was an Entomologist, and I guess his interest rubbed off on me when I was younger. As a kid, I would always read books about different kinds of insects. My favorite just so happened to be butterflies,” he said, a faint smirk rising upon his lips.

“I don’t know why, but I’ve always felt a little envious of them. They can fly high and free, go wherever they want to go, and capture people’s eyes easily with their beauty.” Youngjae chuckled and ducked his head a bit in embarrassment. Through his intent staring, Jaebum could see the model’s ear turning red. “Sorry, it’s weird isn’t it? To be envious of an insect.”

“Not at all,” the photographer replied sincerely. “I think it’s nice actually, to be able to appreciate something genuinely, enough to envy it.” Jaebum wanted to tell the other what was really on his mind though. Even without the ability to fly, you’re beauty can still capture anyone’s attention.

“You say that as if you’re envious of the people who envy something,” Youngjae notices.

Jaebum chuckled dryly, his eyes back on the photo. “Maybe I am.”

The model’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I though you already had a passion for photography,” he commented. “What could you possibly be envious of when you’re already so good at what you do?”

Jaebum’s eyes narrow at the question, unsure of how to respond as he observes how the photo captures the way the butterfly’s wings shine under the sun’s bright ray. When was the last time he felt as passionately about his job as Youngjae says? Of course, he loved what he did, But then in the back of his mind somewhere, he curiously wonders how his life would be if he hadn’t taken this photo.

“It’s not really about me being envious or passionate,” Jaebum finally replies. “It’s just-lately I’ve been feeling like an unfinished photo. Most days go by like a blur and a part of me feels like something is missing.”

Youngjae eyes over the photographer before the corner of his lips tug into a faint grin as he looks back up at the photo. “Yeah, I think I get what you mean.”

Jaebum didn’t know how he ended up here, sitting alongside Youngjae in a cab that was on its way to his apartment building. One minute he’s back at the gallery, where Youngjae and him were having an enchanting conversation about their various interests, and the next Jaebum’s here, sunken into the back seat of the cab with the man he’s been secretly admiring. It had started with the photographer mentioning his book collection, then Youngjae’s sparking eyes, and a call for a cab. Now, they were on their way his apartment, and Jaebum thinks he’s had a bit too much champagne to drink tonight because this situation didn’t feel real.

But it is real, and so was the young model beside him who shined under the bright street lights of the city, and smelled of the sweet sugar cookies that were left on the finger food table back at the gallery. Jaebum was secretly thankful for the slow traffic and the long cab ride.

“Wow,” were the first words that left Youngjae’s mouth when he walked into Jaebum’s apartment. The photographer wasn’t lying when he said he had a big collection. Tall and wide shelves full of books took over one side of Jaebum’s living room, a sofa and tv took the other, along with a smaller book shelf and a cactus Jinyoung gave him as a house warming present years ago as a joke. “May I?”

Jaebum grinned as he shrugged off his jacket. “Of course,” he replied to the awed model, whose eyes were gleaming like a child in a candy store. The older man was happy that he had found a book lover like him. Jinyoung wasn’t the type to read books as entertainment, so Jaebum never had anyone to talk to about his collection and the books he enjoyed reading. On top of the disbelief, he was even happier that a bookworm lied in the form of a young model. “I’ll make us some hot chocolate.”

“Thanks a lot,” Youngjae responded, his eyes glued to the books on the shelves. Jaebum chuckled as he headed for the kitchen and began searching for two mugs and the hot chocolate mix. “So, when did you start collecting them?”

“When I was a kid, my uncle would bring books from his bookstore every time he visited. I kept, read, and cherished every single one of them, and as the years went by, they just kept increasing.”

“I see,” Youngjae said, admiring the collection. Jaebum had a variety of genres. He wasn’t picky.

“A lot of them were given to me as gifts from my college professors,” Jaebum added.

Youngjae chuckled slightly. “Yeah, I should have figured. You have many poetry books. No offense, but you just don’t seem like a poetry kind of guy to me.”

Jaebum faked a scoff, earning another heartfelt chuckle from the model as he grabbed the mugs from the kitchen counter and headed for his coffee table in front of the sofa. “What do you mean by that, Mr. Choi?”

“Well..” Youngjae began, a book in his hands as he sat down on the sofa. “You seem like a realist to me.”

With an eyebrow raised, Jaebum sat beside Youngjae, purposely being careful not to let their knees touch when the other crossed his legs. “A realist?”

“I don’t know,” Youngjae shrugged. “You just give off that kind of impression.”

“Well,” Jaebum began, mimicking the young model who only returned the gesture with a laugh. “You’re right. I don’t really care about poetry, but being an art student, everyone just assumed I did. I still kept the books though, even if I didn’t read a single one of them.”

“You should start,” Youngjae says, looking down at the poetry book in his hand, Glorious Destiny. “Here, I’ve read this before, and I definitely recommend it for a beginner reader. Just don’t cry when you’re finished.”

This time the scoff that left Jaebum was real, as he took the book that was handed from him. “A glorious collection of poems about a couple’s fate and destiny through life by poet Kim Inha,” he read off the back. “You actually read this? Like, all of it?”

“Yep,” Youngjae chuckled. “When I was in my senior year in high school my art teacher gave it to me as a graduation gift. Before reading it, I was a skeptic, and thought all of that fate and destiny stuff was a joke. But after reading it, I realized that it’s rare for people and couples who meet these days stay with each other and bond. That’s why I cherish all the friends and kind people I met throughout my career, like Mark, and you.”

Jaebum blushed at Youngjae’s words. The fact that the younger man actually thought of their meeting as ‘fate’ or something to be cherished brought a warm feeling to his chest and a subtle anticipation of what they could be. Clearing his throat, Jaebum flipped through the pages of the book until he stopped randomly and began to read the first poem he saw.

“If fate is written, then there is no thing, such as wrong or right.

If fate is in our hands, then we must choose wisely.

But, without knowledge how can you decide, when your mind is in battle with your heart.

So many questions without answers, if destiny is predetermined, then why do some starve?

Why are some sick? Why do some die young?

Life is one unknown path, nobody can predict tomorrow.

Soon you will realize those to keep in your pursuit of destiny and those that will become history.

Some find directions in books, others through spiritual enlightenment.

Some are nonchalant on their path, but, I stand here contemplating my next step.

I believe love is my destiny; there is no such thing as coincidence.

Some will hurt you, but some will remain in your heart forever.

Life is not about learning alone, it is about discovering with another.

My destiny lies in the heart of my beloved.”

Youngjae, who hadn’t been able to take his off of the photographer smiled faintly as Jaebum ended the poem. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” The other looked at the model, and stared back just as intently. He must have been gone completely crazy to be able to let the next words come out of his mouth. “Can I kiss you?”

The model visibly flinched at the sudden question and Jaebum thought he was done for. Until, Youngjae was the first to make a move, and in a matter of seconds, their lips were connected. It was then when Jaebum found out that the other’s lips didn’t just look soft, they were, and he silently thanked the god whom he didn’t even believe in for letting him have this moment.

Christmas for Jaebum was never like the Christmas for other children. It was a day he’d rather not remember, it was a day he wanted to forget. It was the day his father had left, and the day his mother had changed. It was a day where everyone around Jaebum were celebrating and opening gifts, except for him. For years, through all the Christmases that passed him by, his mother worked, and he was alone. But this year was different, and so was this moment.

Never in his twenty-seven years of living did Jaebum think he’d be waking up to someone as beautiful as Youngjae lying on his chest. He could feel the younger’s warm breath through the fabric of his cotton sweater, and he wondered if the pounding in his chest was enough to wake the model up. Though his body ached all over from sleeping through the night on the cheap sofa, he hoped the younger wouldn’t wake so soon and end this memorable moment.

Youngjae brought out something inside Jaebum. Never would the photographer do anything like this in a million years with anyone. So, why was Youngjae an exception? It was cheesy, Jaebum knew. But from the first time he’d laid eyes on the younger man, he was captivated in a way he couldn’t explain. And when Youngjae finally stirred awake, and rubbed his eyes like a child waking up from a nap, his raven hair sticking up in all kinds of directions, Jaebum knew that he wanted to wake up like this every day. With him.

“Merry Christmas,” Youngjae yawned.

Jaebum chuckled, and ran his hand through the other’s bed head before laying a chaste kiss on his forehead. “Merry Christmas, my beloved.”

The End

Quote by Lemony Snicket

Poem by Nayda Ivette Negron, Destiny lies in the heart of my beloved