Gift for SilverSprintz

Gift from ???

Title of the gift: I'll be Home for Christmas

Pairing(s): 2jae, with a little bit of Markson.

How many words: 4299

Ratings: 13+

Warnings: Just a little bit of angst.


Note to my giftee: Hi! Merry Christmas. I hope you would really like this even though it's not the best but I really squeezed my brain on this. Enjoy reading this (even though it seemed rushed). Lovelots! And Merry Christmas once again. (Solely inspired by 'I'll be Home for Christmas' by Pentatonix.)

I'll be Home for Christmas

Christmas isn’t really the happiest time of the year for Jaebum. He spent it either with his dormmate, Mark (who has now a boyfriend named Jackson, bummer) or alone. Even though spending it alone was under his will, he had no choice. Jaebum is like any other person in the world. He has work, he has an apartment, he has the looks (his looks are no joke), he has the attitude and personality. But a part of him is saying that there’s still something missing.

He was not naughty nor nice this year, but he wished that his wish would be granted.

“Actually, we’re thinking of inviting someone to spend Christmas with the three of us,” Mark said one night as him and Jackson were sitting comfortably on the couch, sipping hot chocolate. “If it’s alright for you, Jaebum.”

Jaebum thought about it a little.

“If not, it’s alright for us. We know you’re not that kind of socialite but we just thought about it. We already told him about it, we just need your answer.” Jackson added before taking a full gulp of the drink.

He doesn’t know if he should smile or frown at the thought of inviting another person in to spend Christmas with them. He isn’t the type of person to make friends with strangers. But since he wanted to fill up the emptiness of Christmas and invite another person, why not?

“Alright, it’s okay.” Jaebum gave a bittersweet smile.

“Are you sure?” Mark asked, noticing the weird smile that Jaebum gave. “Just tell us if you’re uncomfortable with it.”

“Or if you want to be a third wheel again.” Jackson rolled his eyes, recieving a glare from Mark.

“Nah, it’s alright. Don’t worry too much,” he said with a real soft smile plastered on his face. “And besides, who is he?”

“Have I told you that Jackson was an English teacher before? He’s one of his students. He’s young, and a fresh college graduate,” Mark replied.

Jaebum nodded. “I see.”

“Why are you always so serious in life? You rarely smile, you rarely laugh. It’s like life is just like a job for you to complete,” Jackson once asked out of curiousity and concern. “We actually did this for you to try to socialize with other people and open your doors to opportunities. But we’re still curious, why?”

He was afraid that this day would come. That he would open up his emptiness and feelings to other people. And he’s not very good at conveying it. Jackson and Mark were anticipating for his answer, while he was still searching for some words to say. He cannot possibly dodge this question.

“Its..It’s just my nature, I guess,” he replied simply. But the answer was not enough for him.

“Oh. Okay.” Mark hesitantly held out his phone and dialed a number. “Excuse me, I’ll call Youngjae now.”

The name must be Youngjae, he thought.

The next day was the last day of Jaebum's job since Christmas vacation is about to occur. During the last few hours, their boss started giving their salary and extra bonus for Christmas. Jaebum stared at the envelope, then at the fellow employees, then at the envelope again. Him wondering about what would he do with this money. The money that he worked hard for, besides paying all the necessary things and buying a gift for Jackson and Mark. The fellow employees were happy and giddy as they received their salary. Because they would be able to buy food for Christmas, buy gifts for their family, or be able to go out of town and travel. Jaebum had nothing to do. Jaebum was lonely and sad, honestly.

He's turning 23 next month, and he doesn't expect much to himself. He'll still be the same Jaebum after Christmas or after his birthday. But there is still that tiny bit of hope inside that his wish will be granted this year. Of all the Christmas seasons these past years, Jaebum had a good feeling on this one. He just can't put his finger to it.

What's Jaebum's wish?

He'll find out.

At the same day, Jaebum went to Mark's apartment to help the two decorate their place and as well as meeting this friend that he assumed goes by the name Youngjae. He almost considered their apartment his home since he comes there almost everyday. And because his apartment is lonely, gloomy, and empty. And he doesn't consider it his 'home', figuratively and literally. It makes him more lonely and sad about Christmas.

Jaebum then arrived at the apartment after surviving the snowflakes falling uncontrollably and the cold wind brushing against his skin. He unwrapped his scarf from his neck before knocking the door lightly.

The door was opened and it was Mark, smiling. "Jaebum! You're here. How's work?"

"It was fine actually. Just..fine." He stepped in and rubbed his hands together to create heat since he was feeling cold. "Where's Jackson?"

"He's at the living room, decorating the place with Youngjae," he replied. "Oh, speaking of Youngjae! I'll introduce him to you. I'm sure you two would get along."

The place was nicely decorated with Christmas lights and other decorations. Jaebum liked it. He can smell the cookies being baked in the oven and the hot chocolate being prepared. Every Christmas was like this, but the feel and essence is different.

"Oh, let me take care of your coat and scarf." Mark helped Jaebum with his scarf and coat. "Go to the living room, Jackson is there with Youngjae."

He then heard an unfamiliar but loud laughter from the said place then a high-pitched laugh after that perfectly belongs to Jackson. Jaebum was kinda hesitant at going to the living room because there was a stranger, and he is really awkward when it comes to strangers.

He peeked through the living room and saw the silhouette of Jackson and another unfamiliar one. And it seems like they were decorating the tree. Jaebum didn't want to speak out all of a sudden so he coughed loudly to catch their attention.

"What.??" Jackson turned around. "Jaebum! You're here!"

He didn't notice 'Youngjae' turning around and looking at him as if he was a human from another galaxy.

"Yeah, I guess I am." He stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Oh, I almost forgot." The blonde led his friend to come closer to Jaebum. Although he was very shy and flustered. "This is Youngjae, the friend we were talking about."

Jaebum nodded. "Uhh.. hi. I-I'm Jaebum, nice to meet you."

Youngjae looked up and smiled softly at him. "I'm Youngjae."

Jaebum wasn't the type of man to like a person so easily. But that smile that Youngjae gave to him was something he would like to see again.

"Jaebum, would you mind helping me and Youngjae decorating this living room of ours?"

"No, not at all." He gave a nonchalant look and helped the two make their living room a bit more like Christmas.

It's the night of the 22nd of December. The four people joined for dinner together after decorating. Whenever Jackson would tell a corny and sassy joke, Youngjae's loud laugh would fill the place. It made the apartment less lonely.

"Can you pass me the pork, Jaebum-sshi?" Youngjae stared at him, anticipating.

He immediately took the bowl of cooked pork and passed it to him. "Here." His lips formed into a straight line.

"Oh, thank you." Youngjae showed his eye-blinding smile at him.

Can this guy stop smiling as if I'm the most beautiful person in the world?

But still, it was definitely a smile that Jaebum would want to see again and again. And it was strange.

After eating, the four people enjoyed some hot chocolate and cookies by the furnace.

"So, are you two going to spend Christmas with us?" Mark asked, clinging unto Jackson.

Jaebum shrugged. "I don't know. I think so.. Yes."

Jackson looked at Youngjae, who was holding his cup nervously. "How about you, Youngjae?"

The younger looked up. "Huh?" His eyes were innocent and foreign. Catching Jaebum by surprise.

"I said," he chuckled. "Are you spending Christmas with us?"

"Oh, umm.. if it's okay for y-you. I thought I was just going to v-visit," the younger replied in a shaky voice.

"Of course it's okay for us, we were the ones who invited you." The blonde smiled, then sipped on his cup.

"I haven't really s-spent Christmas with other people. I spent m-most of my Christmas-es, a-alone in my apartment." Youngjae gave a poor smile to all of them. "My family abandoned me a few years after I was born so I wasn't able to spend Christmas happily. Being alone is sad."

Jaebum was dumbfounded. Youngjae spent his Christmas with sorrow, which was rare for a boy who smiles as if the world is not cruel to him.

Jaebum suddenly felt curious about this young man.

It was the morning of the 24th of December. Tomorrow is Christmas, tomorrow is finally the day where everyone will be happy once in a while.

Jaebum casually woke up in an empty, quiet, and lonely apartment. He got up and fixed the covers, and went to the kitchen to prepare his breakfast. He usually doesn't speak in his own apartment. There's no one even there but him. The feeling of sadness all over these years had hit him finally, like a knife stabbing his heart alone.

The feeling of abandonment and loneliness finally hitting him. The feeling of no one by his side finally hitting him on the day before Christmas. The feeling of being alone and having no one. The feeling of not being happy. The feeling of waking up every morning with no one by his side.

Everything crashed unto him on the day before Christmas.

He was washing his hands until he felt a tear escaping from his eyes. He touched his cheeks, the tears won't stop and he doesn't know why. He has no one to turn to. He was alone. So he let it all out.

He cried in hurt, fear, loneliness, and agony. He was scared and hurt.

"Does the universe hate me?" His voice was deep and shaky from all the tears. "Then why is this happening to me?" he whispered, almost inaudible. "I'm scared. I'm tired, tired of being hurt. Tired of suffering from loneliness. I'm tired."

"I'm so tired. I want to go home."

But where is his home?

After a deep sleep, Jaebum went out to buy some necessary things that he needs for living. Surviving the heavy snow was hard, but he arrived at the mall. He was wearing his eyeglasses, since he was tired of putting on contact lenses all the time. His face was still swollen from all the crying, but he didn't care. It's not like anyone would notice him here.

He went to the clothes section to buy another scarf and a sweater. After roaming around the section he found a scarf that he liked and was about to take it until he saw another hand reaching for it, their cold fingers brushing together.

"Jaebum-sshi?"

Jaebum looked up and was surprised. "Youngjae-sshi?"

Jaebum saw the younger's lips forming to a smile, as if he saw him as the most beautiful person. "What are you doing here, Jaebum-sshi?"

"Umm.. I was about to buy this sweater until you were about to get it too."

Youngjae released the sweater from his grip. "Oh, then you should take it. You were the first one anyway."

"O-oh. No, you take it. I believe you need it more than I do." He gave he sweater to Youngjae.

"B-but you were the first one--"

Jaebum took his hand and placed it on the sweater to hold it. "No, it's yours."

The younger stared at Jaebum, then at the sweater, then at Jaebum again. "O-okay. Thank you, Jaebum-sshi." He smiled sheepishly.

"Are you coming to Jackson's apartment after?" The older asked as they were walking towards the counter for Youngjae to pay for the sweater.

"Not yet, and it's still early. H-how a-about you?" The younger furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at the older. "W-w-wait, d-did y-you c-cry?" Youngjae had a pained expression on his face.

Jaebum's face is still swollen and his nose is still stuffy. The older gulped, not knowing what to say.

"A-are you o-okay, Jaebum-sshi?" Concern and hesitancy was written all over Youngjae's face. When the younger received no response from the other, he took his wrist and dragged him away.

The sudden move snapped Jaebum. "W-what a-are you doing? I-I'm fine, Youngjae-sshi."

"No, you aren't. I hate seeing people who are sad and who cried. Let me treat you a cup of coffee." Youngjae still had Jaebum on his grip, while dragging him to a coffee shop.

"Y-you don't h-have to."

"But I want to, Jaebum-sshi. And besides," Youngjae paused as he released the older for him to look at him. "I want to know you more. I'm curious." The younger's lips slowly crept into a shy smile. Jaebum was stunned at the bluntness of the younger, and also satisfied as he saw that smile again.

"So, whether you like it or not," He griped his wrist again and led him inside the coffee shop. "I'm going to treat you."

Jaebum was at lost of words so he just sat down with the younger. The waiter arrived and asked for their orders.

"I'll have a Caramel Macchiato." Youngjae looked at the older and smiled. "What are you going to order, Jaebum-sshi?"

Jaebum just followed what his taste buds wanted. "I'll have a Cappuccino, please."

The waiter listed their orders and left.

"So.. how old are you?"

"I'm 22, how about you?"

"I'm 20, do you live alone?"

"Yeah, how about you?"

The two kept exchanging questions and answers until the same waiter served their orders.

Youngjae kept on savoring his Caramel Macchiato. He stopped drinking as he saw Jaebum not drinking his Cappuccino. Jaebum caught Youngjae staring so the younger laughed. The older eyed him.

"I'm sorry, I'm just.." Youngjae's loud laugh caught the attention of the customers. "You're so quiet."

The older didn't know what to do. He hesitantly opened the lid of the cup and drank the contents of it slowly. He was craving for coffee since last night.

"Do you love coffee?" The younger asked.

He shrugged. "I don't. But I crave for it sometimes. Do you?"

"50/50. I also drink coffee when I crave for it or when I'm stressed or sad."

"But what about last night?" Jaebum finally asked the younger about the fragile state he had last night.

Youngjae's smile turned into frown and looked down. "O-oh, I'm sorry for last night. I-I was just t-too overwhelmed and g-got carried away. Don't think of me that way."

"It's alright. I know how you feel, Youngjae-sshi." Jaebum reached for his Cappuccino and drank it again, Youngjae noticed the foam left on the older's lips.

He giggled. "You have some foam on your lips. Let me wipe it off." He reached for the tissue and wiped it off. "There, much better."

"Thank you." Jaebum's lips slowly twitched upward.

Then they started talking about Mark and Jackson, specifically Jackson himself.

"Did you know that Jackson-hyung almost killed Mark-hyung on their fifth date, he didn't know that he was allergic of peanuts and they ended up in the Emergency room." Youngjae laughed loudly again, it was a contagious laugh indeed. Jaebum chuckled.

"Really? Then what happened next?"

"They became official since Jackson-hyung confessed and kissed Mark-hyung in the hospital."

"Wow." Jaebum sipped the last drops of his drink. "Jackson is weird sometimes and it's a wonder that Mark fell for him."

"I know. Jackson-hyung is loud, very loud." Youngjae chuckled.

"But your laugh is louder." Youngjae's face turned into a rotten tomato.

"Hey!"

That made Jaebum laugh.

When Youngjae heard the older's laugh, his eyes widened but he smiled after. Jaebum didn't mind laughing, as long as he is with the guy sitting in front of him who wanted to know him more and treated him coffee.

"Actually..I was curious of you, too. Last night when you were so fragile and sad. I was curious at first." Jaebum smiled. "I'm glad I got the chance."

"There!" Youngjae laid back on his seat and showed his eye-blinding smile. "That's the smile that I wanted to see."

Jaebum was about to say something until his phone rang. He reached for it and answered.

"Hey Jackson...what? What do you mean?... Really? Then how?... What are we going to do then?....Are you serious?....Are you sure? Maybe he won't like it....Seriously?...Okay. Bye." He ended the call and looked at Youngjae. "Youngjae-sshi."

"Yes? Is there something wrong? What happened?" His eyes were full of concern and anticipation.

Jaebum sighed. "We won't be able to spend Christmas with Jackson and Mark."

He was stunned. The younger looked at him as if he saw his greatest fear. "A-a-are y-you serious? What happened?"

"There's a snow storm in their village. And we won't be able to pass through since their roads are filled with snow and the wind is strong. I'm sorry, Youngjae-sshi." Jaebum had a gloomy expression on his face.

The younger had a pained expression on his face. "But I don't want to s-spend C-christmas alone a-again."

Jaebum looked down and played with his fingers, hesitantly gathering up his courage to say something. "A-actually.."

Youngjae looked up. "Huh?"

"We could spend C-christmas i-in my p-place. I-if you want to, since we have nowhere else to stay. If it's okay with you, Youngjae-sshi," he said nervously.

The younger's eyes widened and stared at him. Then his lips formed into a soft smile. "I'd like that very much."

Jaebum couldn't help but smile at the response of the younger. "O-okay, then shall we go? It's almost seven o'clock."

They both stood up and left the coffee shop then walked to the parking lot of the mall.

"You have a car? Then you must be a hard worker," Youngjae said in awe.

"Don't flatter me. Half of it is from my father's insurance." The older smirked.

"Really now?" The younger laughed loudly again, echoing throughout the halls.

They continued walking and they finally reached Jaebum's car. It was not that expensive nor cheap. They both went inside and locked the doors.

Jaebum himself went closer and put on Youngjae's seatbelt. Causing the younger to get flustered. "Remember to fasten your seatbelt everytime."

The older fastened his as well and started the engine, driving off to their destination.

Don't forget that Youngjae sings well more than those singers on the radio. Jaebum sang along as well. And they both found out that they sing well together.

"You have a nice voice."

"You too."

Eventually, the two arrived at Jaebum's apartment. As they went inside, Jaebum immediately the heater. Youngjae looked at the home, cozy but kinda lonely.

The younger took off his coat, leaving it on the rack. "You have a nice apartment, Jaebum-sshi."

"Thank you. But I live alone so this is quiet most of the time. You can sit down if you want."

Youngjae went to the living room and sat down on the soft and clean couch as Jaebum was preparing something in the kitchen.

"What do you like to eat, Youngjae-sshi?"

"Actually..hot chocolate and cookies are fine by me."

Jaebum leaned back his head to see Youngjae. "Really? You don't want anything? Just that? It's kinda embarrassing if I serve you only that." He smiled sheepishly.

Youngjae waved his hand dismissively. "No, no. I'm fine by just that, Jaebum-sshi." He returned the smile as well.

So at the night before Christmas, Jaebum only prepared hot chocolate and cookies for the two of them. The two were laid back on the couch, with the fire in the furnace warming up the two. They continued talking and laughing together. There was one moment when Jaebum laughed so hard at Youngjae's story, that made the younger smiling and laughing as well.

"I'm so happy that I got to spend Christmas with you." Youngjae glanced at the older and smiled. "I know tomorrow is Christmas but I feel like it's today. Thank you."

Jaebum tried to hide his smile as he sipped on his cup of hot chocolate.

"You're smiling." The younger chuckled. "Why are you smiling?"

"I'm just happy that I got to spend Christmas with someone. With you, honestly. Thank you." Jaebum gave Youngjae an eye-blinding smile, which was so rare.

"You were so sad and gloomy the first time I met you. What happened?" They both frowned.

Jaebum avoided the younger's eyes. "It's just that.. I feel so lonely all the time, empty and sad. I wake up to an empty apartment everyday. I feel so hurt and sad thinking that there's no one by my side every single day of my life. I feel incomplete."

"Since when?"

"As long as I can remember. I spend Christmas with Jackson and Mark, or alone. It was like that every year. But it was different this year because--"

"Because I'm here, right?"

Jaebum's eyes shot open and looked up to a smiling Youngjae. Not just a normal smile, but a smile that made his heart swell up in unmasked joy. "Y-yeah. That's why I'm happy, I know it seemed so rushed because we've only met."

"Don't feel sad, I hate seeing people sad. I hate seeing you sad, Jaebum-hyung." Youngjae's words went straight to the older's heart. "Please be happy and always smile. You look beautiful when you smile."

"Hey, you too. Don't care about me too much." Jaebum tried to change the atmosphere and frowned, since his chest was pumping hard.

"Hey, but I want to. If you tell me to stop doing 'this', I'll stop. Maybe I'll never even stop if you do," Youngjae said then tried to get a hold of the older's hand. "I know this seemed quick. But..if you already can cope up with the sadness you felt, might as well try to love someone?"

Jaebum stared at Youngjae, overwhelmed. He couldn't cope up with the sound of his beating heart that only beats for this young man in front of him. It was strange and weird, but not unwelcome. "R-really?"

"Yes. I know how you feel, Jaebum-hyung. But might as well, try?" Youngjae said hesitantly and smiled. "I am willing to give you happiness."

"Is this a dream? If this is, I don't want to wake up."

The younger chuckled. "Then don't, hyung."

"I can't believe you, Youngjae. I promised myself I wouldn't fall in-love, but it was 8PM, and we were laughing way too hard. And I felt so happy for the first time in a long time, and I knew I was screwed." Jaebum placed his mug on the table with a smile.

Youngjae laughed, but it was sweet one. "You're amazing."

Silence filled the atmosphere for a good five minutes.

Until Youngjae spoke up,

"C-can I kiss you, hyung?"

Jaebum didn't hesitate and smiled. "Go ahead, love."

Youngjae scooted closer, holding Jaebum's shoulders. They stared at each other's orbs for a while. The younger smirked, getting a hold of the older's eyeglasses. "Let's remove this for a moment." Then placed it on the table.

They can feel each other's breathing. They were both nervous, but Jaebum held his strong hands softly on the sides of the younger. Youngjae hesitantly wrapped his arms around the neck of Jaebum.

"Merry Christmas, Youngjae."

"Merry Christmas, Jaebum-hyung."

One last move, and their lips touched ever so gently at first. It was like an electricity running through their veins. They remained steady since they didn't want to shock each other. Until they've felt the hunger and desire, opening their mouths together and kissing with much passion and desire of each other. It was like their lips were made for each other.

They've pulled back for a gasp of air. Jaebum smiled, "I know we've met only for two days but I feel like you're the one that I wished for this Christmas."

"Yikes, so cheesy Jaebum-hyung." Youngjae acted disgusted and laughed.

"Only for you, love."

At that night, Jaebum dreamed of a happy Christmas. With people smiling and laughing together, eating the food that was served, and just enjoying life. But Jaebum's Christmas was far from expected. He expected a table full of food, but it was just hot chocolate and cookies. He expected to spend Christmas in solitude and sadness, but it was unmasked joy and satisfaction. He expected to spend Christmas with Jackson and Mark again, but he spent it with someone that he was once curious with, and turned out to be the one whom he wished for this Christmas.

He already found his home.

It was Youngjae, and it will always be.