Donghyuk had really understood what Junhwe said about Jinhwan when they started their promotions. There really was something in the way their hyung looks straight in the eye, unwavering and affectionate. His touches were light and firm at the same time, and that’s beside the charm he has with his smaller stature.

So Donghyuk and Jinhwan played their roles. They would always sit beside each other during fansigns. Jinhwan would hook his arm around his; do aegyo once in a while. Donghyuk would wrap an arm around his hyung's shoulder and waist. Sometimes they would switch roles. The fans would scream at every interaction.

It's a good thing, Donghyuk thought, that his mind is half filled with thoughts of Junhwe because if that wasn't the case, he might have fallen for his hyung's charms too.

Junhwe has been pretty good with his interactions with Chanwoo. He's not as affectionate as he was with Jinhwan, but they have this dynamic that screams "partners in crime". They're both hilarious and cute. Their iKONICS enthusiastically eat up their new dynamic as well.

But what takes half of Donghyuk’s mind is the fact that he can feel Junhwe's lingering gaze on him and Jinhwan every now and then. It's like Junhwe is overseeing them or something. The issue is, Donghyuk doesn't know if Junhwe is doing that because he still has attachments to their hyung, or...

Donghyuk decided not to ponder too deep about it. Yeah, Junhwe had his eyes on them for like 50% of the time. But that doesn't mean he has to analyze why. Maybe it’s really just concern. Or Junhwe is inwardly criticizing him as Jinhwan’s previous fan service partner, who knows? Maybe…Donghyuk’s just overanalyzing Junhwe’s reactions.

Just like how he’s most likely overanalyzing the small pricking in his chest whenever Junhwe holds Chanwoo’s hand and smiles.

---

“Have you seen that J-drama Yunhyeong-hyung’s into these days? I like romance but the scenes are too damn cheesy.” Junhwe remarks with a cringe. He automatically placed the earbud on his ear when Donghyuk offered it to him.

“Yet you’re still watching it.” Donghyuk pointed out, laughing when Junhwe elbowed him in retaliation.

Because their promotions started, the talk sessions at the fire exit lessened. Whenever Donghyuk's there though, Junhwe is surely to follow after a few minutes. Usually, those times would occur during their solo practice breaks.

They don't talk about their pairings. They talk about songs, the artists behind the songs, movies, dramas they've been watching, the friends they have outside iKON, even girl groups. Sometimes they would laugh and tease each other (mostly Junhwe's teasing him). Sometimes the conversation is so serious there's no precedent to joke around.

The constant thing though, is the way Junhwe would press his body with Donghyuk’s when they sit together – arm to arm, leg to leg. There’s also the way Junhwe would look straight at him without even blinking whenever he talks. The way Junhwe pats Donghyuk's head and play with his hair when he feels like it (which is often).

All of which are currently occurring as they talk of Japanese dramas and cheesy acting; their Big Bang sunbaenim’s Lies playing softly in their ears.

Donghyuk doesn't know if Junhwe's aware of those details happening whenever they’re together. Whether they're done consciously or not, Donghyuk tries hard not to pay too much attention to it because he might just be misled. He struggles so much on that.

He didn't need to fall for Junhwe even further.

---

It’s just a crush, Donghyuk convinces himself whenever his heart skips a beat because of something remotely affectionate that Junhwe does.

It’s just a crush - just like how he felt for Yunhyeong years back.

Except Donghyuk starts getting irritated when Junhwe pays more attention to Chanwoo (or to any of the other members to be honest - including Jinhwan). He starts craving for Junhwe's warmth beside him whenever they hang out at the fire exit. He starts looking forward to talking with Junhwe the most, or just enjoying the comfortable silence between them, instead of losing himself in music. He even has about five songs in his head all made at the thought of Junhwe.

Donghyuk's becoming hopeless and he hates that. He's not in iKON to fall in love and be preoccupied about it. Their showcase tour is going to start and he has no time to think about his feelings and Junhwe's.

Having "feelings" wasn't even in his immediate plans.

So he stopped going to the fire exit. Even when Junhwe excuses himself after practice and throws him that look that says "let’s hang out", he didn't come. The first few times, it worked. He's more focused, more concentrated on their promotions. He even started making the songs in his head on actual composing software. Then one afternoon, when he's just alone at the practice room working on his third song, Junhwe suddenly entered and approached him straight.

"Hey," Donghyuk greeted in surprised because Junhwe's supposed to go back to the dorms with the others. "Forgot something?"

Junhwe shook his head and sat beside him on the floor. Donghyuk took note that the taller male left a considerable distance between them. He cautiously watched Junhwe sit there, who was silent and pondering on something, until Junhwe finally spoke up.

"Are you avoiding me?"

Kind of, is what Donghyuk answered in his head because he wasn't really going out of his way to avoid him entirely. They still talk during practice. Instead, he said "No."

Junhwe's brows scrunched up and he looked like he was sulking. Donghyuk would have grinned at the display under different circumstances, but alas.

"You stopped going to the fire exit." Junhwe added rather accusingly. Then the hard look on his face faltered to be replaced with apprehension.

 "I thought I said or did something to offend you."

Donghyuk can feel the same familiar yet still foreign feeling stirring up inside him - like a balloon about to burst with no way of preventing it. Dozens of questions popped in his head. Why are you disappointed that I stopped going there? Why are you anxious that you might have offended me? Why are you so worried that I’m avoiding you?

Stop. Don’t overanalyze. Don’t misunderstand.

"You didn't do anything wrong. It’s just that I got this sudden surge of ideas for some songs, so I figured I might as well concentrate on them."

He sees Junhwe regard his words like a student, an "o" forming on the taller male's mouth in understanding. The uncertainty in Junhwe's eyes was gone in an instant, and Donghyuk felt bad because Junhwe was actually half-right with his suspicion.

"Did you finish already?"

"Only two. I got three more in my head."

"Can I listen?"

Donghyuk would rather not because Junhwe might figure out who the songs are for. But not letting him listen would make him suspicious again so Donghyuk pulled out his phone, navigated to his song compositions list, and handed it over to Junhwe.

Junhwe grabbed a pair of headphones at the cushioned bench behind them and plugged in on the phone. Donghyuk watched nervously as their main vocal started the song. It was obvious Junhwe has the intention to scrutinize and criticize his work, but just midway in his song, something changed with his expression. The scrutinizing look was gone and was replaced with something like surprise and realization. He looked a bit grim too. Donghyuk became even more nervous.

Junhwe glanced at him after listening to both songs, eyes not quite meeting his. "The second one's really good. The first one's okay, but the 2nd one's so much better. I like the melody and the flow of the lyrics. You should show this to Hanbin-hyung."

"Thanks!" Donghyuk tried hard to sound cheerful. "I'll let Hanbin-hyung listen then, since you think it’s good."

There was silence again as Junhwe started fiddling on the phone. Donghyuk can see that he's scanning the lyrics.

"So, who's the lucky person?"

Ah, so Junhwe really found out. Donghyuk won't tell him.

"I'll keep that a secret for now, if you don't mind." He gives out that smile he only does when he doesn't want to talk about something. Junhwe understood since he pursed his lips and suddenly looked unsure. But then he looked at Donghyuk again and spoke.

"Is it Jinhwan-hyung?"

What?

… So in the end, it’s all about Jinhwan-hyung?

"No." Donghyuk immediately answered with his smile dropping. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"This I can assure you, it’s not Jinhwan-hyung. So don't worry about it ok?"

"…Ah."

Junhwe didn't say anything more. He took out the headphones and gave the phone back to him. Donghyuk received it, desperately maintaining the smile, as he watched Junhwe stand up.

"Come to the fire exit once in a while. If...if you want to talk about anything too, I'll be there." He said then a pause.

“Just don’t leave me hanging like before, okay? That’s not cool.”

Donghyuk answered with an "Ok" and “I’m sorry.” Junhwe nodded then finally left the practice room. When he's sure Junhwe's out of range and sight, he sighed heavily and rubbed his face with his hands. It didn't stop the small tears from forming on his eyes.

He's screwed and unlike with Yunhyeong, there might be no way out.

---

Junhwe seemed to really like Donghyuk's song because just the next day, Hanbin had approached him after vocal practice and asked to check it out.

"Junhwe told me about it. Said you have something title track worthy."

Donghyuk can feel the warmth grow on his cheeks but he resisted it. Instead, he gave out a shy smile and took out his phone.

"Junhwe's exaggerating. But I'll be really grateful and happy if you'll think so too, hyung." He glanced towards the bench where Junhwe, Chanwoo and Yunhyeong were joking around. Bobby and Jinhwan were on the other side looking through songs in Youtube.

Hanbin smiled before taking the phone from him and wearing the earphones attached to it.

"Let’s find out."

Donghyuk watched Hanbin's face expectantly and with a fair amount of fear. If Junhwe was critical, Hanbin is even more so. What made Donghyuk even more anxious was the lack of expression on the leader's face. The only indication that he's even listening was the presence of the earphones attached to his ears.

When the song finished, Hanbin took out the earphones and finally let out his first reaction: a shake of his head.

"Wow." The leader said, looking surprised and slightly bewildered. Donghyuk felt afraid again. What if he realized? Or his song is so bad Hanbin doesn't know how to break it to him.

"When did you learn to mix melodies like that? And the lyrics...dude, where are you hiding all of those?"

Suddenly, all the worries inside Donghyuk vanished as a sickeningly happy feeling rose inside him. Did Kim Hanbin just...praise him?

As if to answer that question, Hanbin playfully punched his chest and gave out a wide grin.

"I'm kinda pissed since it’s too late to include this in our mini. Just a few touch-ups and this could have been golden for a vocal sub-unit. I'm sure about it."

Donghyuk gulped. The thought of his song - his own song that he composed and wrote lyrics for, being potentially promoted by iKON makes him so ecstatic he wanted to jump right then and there. He didn't even care that he lost his chance for it to be included in their mini. Just the thought of it made him happy.

And it’s all thanks to Junhwe, both fortunately and unfortunately.

"Look, I think you and Junhwe will suit this song. I'll have you two sing a demo of this then I'll endorse it to Yang-sajangnim. Maybe we can release this as a follow-up."

What.

Suddenly, Donghyuk felt like retreating. No, not with Junhwe. Of course a unit with Junhwe would be a dream come true, but not now. Not when his feelings are in tangles when it comes to him.

But because it’s Hanbin suggesting it and Donghyuk doesn't have any other reason to say no, he just nodded and told him he'll do his best. Hanbin grinned then quickly called the other members to tell them his plan and let them listen to his song.

Great. Now all of them will know. If Hanbin seemed oblivious, Donghyuk's sure at least Bobby or Jinhwan would figure it out.

---

"It’s Junhwe, isn't it?"

Donghyuk wanted to scream because of all people, it’s Jinhwan who connected the dots. It was about two days after Hanbin made all of them listen to Donghyuk's song, and a day before he and Junhwe will record for a demo because he and Hanbin has just finished the touch-ups.

And now, Donghyuk finds himself inside his hyung's room again because Jinhwan wanted to talk about something. Donghyuk already had his suspicions, but still...

"Yes..."

He can feel Jinhwan's hand on his head, fingers affectionately patting and running through his hair strands.

"Don't look so down. It’s not a bad thing."

"It’s a bad thing because we're in the middle of promotions, hyung. It’s basically a distraction."

"It will only be a distraction if you make it so."

"...I won't tell him, if that's what you want me to do."

Jinhwan chuckled in good nature. "You already did with that song. Though you did a damn good job masking who it’s for. I mean, the man himself doesn’t even have a clue. I only figured it out because I'm aware of your trips to the fire exit."

"What?" Donghyuk whipped his head to him in shock. "How?"

"Junhwe told me two months ago. He said he's fine now since he got someone he's comfortable talking with there. He even asked me to keep quiet about it. Since you're the one I asked to look after him, I figured it's you."

"Oh."

"Are you angry about it?"

"No hyung, its fine. It’s just..." Donghyuk sighed, head hanging low. "He doesn't even feel the same way. I know he still holds a candle for you."

There was a silence after that, growing heavier by the second until Jinhwan sighed as well.

"You know, for someone who knows us all too well, I didn't know you can be pretty dense when it comes to things like this that involves you."

Jinhwan patted his head again, and then carefully adjusted so his head is leaning on his hyung’s shoulder.

"He's completely over me Donghyuk. And there's no chance he'll fall for me again. There's only one reason why Junhwe kept glaring at me during our ship teasing. He's not even like that when we're the ones paired."

Donghyuk knows what his hyung is implying, but he won't give in. He just stayed silent and Jinhwan didn't press him for an answer.

Donghyuk is afraid, and because he's afraid, he's also in denial. The last thing he wants is to disturb their team dynamics for his feelings and lose what he has with Junhwe for a selfishness.

---

Everyone screamed when they received sajangnim's approval of Donghyuk's song with a tentative date of when to release it as a follow-up. It’s a month and a half from then.

They congratulated him with huge and proud smiles. Even Junhwe - whose touch lingered on his shoulder and whose happy voice vibrated through his heart. Donghyuk cried because having his song released is a dream came true. The plan is to film a music video along it and depending on its performance in the charts, he and Junhwe might promote it on music shows.

Everything happened so fast. In between performing in their showcase tour, posing for magazines and holding interviews, Donghyuk has no time to dwell on his feelings. Junhwe's the same too. Even their fire exit hangouts were halted as well. It was only when they're meeting with the music video director and they were told about the plot, that Donghyuk was reminded again of his conflicts with himself.

It'll be a school setting, with he and Junhwe being best friends. One of them would discover that the other's girlfriend has been cheating and would tell the other about it. The other wouldn't believe, break off their friendship, until the cheating is discovered. Then a reconciliation scene that is surely to intensify the existing shipping for the two of them. The other members will have cameos as background students while the overall story will have a sad drama feel aimed at friendship and a failed love.

“Yah, you two have to put those acting lessons into good use here.” Hanbin reminded him and Junhwe after the meeting finished. “You two are the main. Do it like it’s for real ok?”

Junhwe grunted as an answer and Donghyuk just nodded. Their leader complained about their unenthusiastic responses; only letting them go when Jinhwan reasoned that the two of them are just nervous.

That’s right. Donghyuk is nervous but more than that, he’s terrified. The temptation to back out and make excuses is strong. Why does it have to be so melodramatic? Why does it have to be in front of his other members? What if they find out?

But he won’t betray his team for his inner conflicts. They don’t deserve that.

Screw it, Donghyuk told himself. Just like what Hanbin said, he'll pour everything he feels into the scenes. Never mind that Junhwe, or someone else besides Jinhwan, might figure it out. He’ll worry about that later.

He just hopes he can survive enough for him not to break.

---

The actress was really pretty and had confessed that she is a big fan of iKON, especially Junhwe. She's very impressed that it was Donghyuk who composed the song too. The filming went on smoothly for the scenes with just Donghyuk and Junhwe but when it was just the couple scenes, the director stopped them.

"You two lacked chemistry. Junhwe-ssi and Donghyuk-ssi has so much more it’s like they're the couple and not you two."

It was a joke and an analogy and everyone laughed. The members even teased them about it. Donghyuk laughed along and apologized to the actress but inwardly, he didn't find it funny. He’s actually pissed off about it. Junhwe looked like he’s unamused about it as well.

To solve the problem, Junhwe and the actress went to talk with each other alone. Donghyuk tried not to be affected about it, but he is. He wouldn't blame Junhwe if he finds himself liking the actress but still, it’s making Donghyuk anxious. He released those feelings in his scene with Junhwe where they fight and they break off their friendship. Their words will be blocked out in the final editing so he didn’t have anything to lose.

“I hate this!” He yelled, pushing Junhwe on the chest. “I’m angry! Why does it have to be you?!”

Junhwe looked shocked but quickly recovered. “Oh yeah?! Sorry for not being the one you want to be with! You think I want this?!”

“You don’t understand!”

“You don’t understand either!”

There was more pushing and yelling, then tears. Donghyuk was crying and Junhwe stopped. He looked surprised again then suddenly, he was crying as well. It wasn’t even part of the scene guide.

The director called “Cut!” then praised them for their acting. He said he’ll keep their adlib crying to add more emotions to their MV. Donghyuk breathed out heavily. It’s done. He’s still conflicted, but he did his part.

“You did well.” He told Junhwe. He did his best not to appear strained with his smile as he wiped the tear stains on his cheeks. “I’m sorry for going overboard.”

He waited for Junhwe to say something but he didn’t. Junhwe’s baring that grim expression again and instantly, Donghyuk felt dread churn in his stomach.

“Look Junhwe, I didn’t mean –

“It’s fine.” Junhwe cut in, tone in a cold snap. Then he looked away. “Leave me alone for now.”

Donghyuk’s heart sank. He wracked his brain to say something but that was the moment when their other members chose to approach them. Bobby hugged him from behind and patted his head, happily telling him and Junhwe that they acted really well. Still, his hyung looked uneasy. Actually, all of them looked tensed. Donghyuk had to force a smile and throw a joke at Junhwe to let them know nothing’s wrong even if it’s just a pretense. Junhwe thankfully didn’t leave him in the air. He scoffed and gave out a sassy remark – typical Goo Junhwe, and their members dropped any unspoken questions.

Filming continued after that. Their members had to leave for other schedules but Hanbin didn’t want to go until he made sure Junhwe nails his scenes with the actress. Donghyuk forced himself to focus on their MV filming too. Yet as he watched Junhwe wrap his arm around the actress’ waist and look at her with that look and that smile – the same ones Junhwe does whenever they hang out at the fire exit, Donghyuk can’t help but ask in his head why.

“Cut! That’s much better! You look really in love there Junhwe-ssi! Good job!”

The director’s words were loud and clear so Donghyuk didn’t mishear. Hope started to dangerously form inside him, and he hated himself for letting it happen when Junhwe didn’t even so much as to glance at him after his filming. Even when their other members finally left, Junhwe chose to just head back to the dorm instead of waiting for him to finish his solo scenes – which was their original plan. When he bid him goodbye, Junhwe only grunted a bit without even looking at him.

It took everything of Donghyuk not to cry out of frustration. As soon as the filming of his solo scenes wrapped up, he went straight to the training center to escape to the fire exit. He can’t find it in himself to return to the dorm and face s when he’s a damn mess.

He needed to drown himself in music to forget how much he's in love with Junhwe. At least for a moment. Just enough for him to be able to put up a smile again.

---

The sun’s already setting down when the door banged open and close. Donghyuk jerked his head up to see Junhwe standing there with a desperate look in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I can’t take this anymore.”

Then he grabbed Donghyuk’s arm to pull him up hastily, cupped his face with both hands, and leaned down to kiss him straight on his mouth.

---

"Why did you-

"I love you."

"...what...?"

"I don't care who you wrote that song for. I’m sorry but I'm not gonna give up like with Jinhwan-hyung. I really love you."

Breath hitching.

Heartbeat stopping and starting again.

"I wrote that song for you."

---

"You still haven't told me you love me back."

Junhwe complains and Donghyuk chuckles. Presently, he finds himself in Junhwe’s embrace; the taller male’s arms wrapped around his torso in a lazy manner. Donghyuk's light laugh causes a comforting vibration through Junhwe's chest where Donghyuk's back is pressed. The early night lights of Seoul are still visible from their position even if they’re sitting at the inner most corner of the fire exit.

A pair of earbuds is shared between them as John Legend's All Of Me plays from Donghyuk's playlist.

"The song I wrote should be enough." Donghyuk teases Junhwe. He gasped a bit when Junhwe pulled him closer and started tickling his sides.

"Say it."

Donghyuk resisted at first but when it became too much, he laughed and pinched Junhwe's hands. Junhwe hissed a little but didn't pull back.

"Come on, it’s unfair that it’s only me who-

"I love you too."

Even without looking, Donghyuk can feel Junhwe's satisfied grin being formed on his lips.

Junhwe had revealed to him that the members already knew about Junhwe’s feelings, and had encouraged him to confess because they all felt alarmed with the song Donghyuk composed. Also it seemed that except for Jinhwan who already confirmed, the others had hunches about how Donghyuk felt but weren't sure about it. Basically, everyone was pushing for him and Junhwe to be together.

So Donghyuk had just been an idiot all along - worrying about team dynamics when the members themselves are fine with it. He’s also a fool for being too afraid, too insecure. He kept telling himself not to overanalyze when he did just that. As a result, he had hurt Junhwe and worried s.

But Junhwe told him he’s the same as well. He was also afraid and had no confidence. He feared it’ll end up worse than with Jinhwan-hyung. If it wasn’t for their brothers’ encouragement, Junhwe wouldn’t have followed him to the fire exit.

“I wrote a song too, you know.” Junhwe tells him as All Of Me comes to an end. “It’s about secret fire exit meetings and finding a new love through it.”

“That sounds familiar.”

“Yeah, but it’s not about you.”

“Sure.” Donghyuk snickers. “Whatever you say.”

Junhwe smirks then pecks him on his cheek. “I’ll let you listen to it later.”

They have a long way to go and who knows how the future holds for the two of them. But for now, Donghyuk won’t worry about it. He’s happy. Junhwe’s happy. And his precious members are happy as well.

That’s all that matters.

.

.

.

Whew, finally. Special thanks to Bigbang's Haru Haru for anchoring me into finishing this second part. It's such a classic (if you find this 2nd part too melodramatic, blame the song. XD). I love how this one turned out. I hope you guys will love this as well, or at least be satisfied with it. Thank you!

Will do corrections later. Imma need to sleep.