Written way back Mix and Match era and originally a multi-chap fic. Revised and scrapped everything except the ChanDong part.

The clock strikes 5 am but Donghyuk is already awake. He barely managed to sleep even with the tiredness from last night; his dried tears still present on his face.

He sighs and sits up on his bed, eyes scanning the various items neatly organized in his old room. His mom had surely cleaned up most of his clutter but the evidences of his dreams are still present inside the four walls. There’s the DEF Dance poster of the YG audition, his certificate of getting first place in JYP, the stacks of CDs full of dance music beside his old CD player, the books for his vocal and piano lessons.

His eyes settle on the framed picture of his Team B team on top of his old desk. They took it on the day he joined as the 6th and what should have been the last member of the group. He still remembers Bobby suggesting they take the photo as commemoration for the day their team “finally” became complete. Hanbin agreed with grins while Jinhwan and Yunhyeong told him not to be shy with his pose. Junhwe was just glad he didn’t need to do the maknae role anymore.

Their smiles in that photo were innocent and full of hope for the future. He remembers being shy despite his hyung’s assurances that he can just be himself, but he looked as confident as the other five in the picture. As if he was always meant to be a part of them all along.

He purses his lips and tears his moist eyes away from the framed photo. A soft knock interrupts his thoughts as his mom opens the door, a gentle expression of her face as he reminds him that it’s time.

---

"Donghyuk-ah..."

The first and only time he was inside Yang Hyun Suk’s office was on the day he was accepted to train in YG, and the boss had to explain to him and his mom about his trainee contract. Yang-sajangnim was kind with his words and soft with his expression, especially towards his mother who was worried and still in doubts about his dreams.

Now he’s back on the same office, alone and for a different purpose. He nods simply as Yang-sajangnim regards him with the same soft look. If only the circumstances are the same was the first time he met the man.

"First, I'm sorry about the results last night."

Donghyuk nods again, tries to discreetly swallow the lump on his throat, and gives out a “yes, sajangnim.” as a reply. He struggles not to sound so shaky with his voice.

Last night. Just recalling those two words pulls up the lump he already swallowed down back on his throat.

Last night was the last episode of Mix and Match. The 7th member announcement in there was supposed to be his beginning. It was the fateful moment that should have permanently assured him of his position with his dear brothers - as a member of iKON. Instead, it was the end. Hongseok was chosen over him and Chanwoo.

He can still hear in his head, the crying voices of his brothers when they all called him last night. Hanbin and Bobby were saying something about pleading to sajangnim about his case. Jinhwan-hyung kept apologizing to him even if he doesn’t have any fault. Yunhyeong-hyung can barely talk through his tears while Junhwe was silent for most of the call, his muffled sobs taking up most of their short conversation.

Jinhyeong, Hongseok-hyung and Chanwoo all called him too. There’s a part of him that wants to blame them but as soon as he hears their cries, the desire to blame just melts away. He can’t place any fault on them when they are the same; just boys reaching for their dreams. The only one he can truly blame is himself, for not doing enough to convince the audience that he’s worth their votes.

Yang Hyun-suk hesitates to speak more when he noticed the boy blink his eyes a little too fast to fend off tears. The results are honestly not what he had expected but what’s done is done. iKON’s audience has spoken and he has no choice but to follow.

"Unfortunately, I can't guarantee you a future with YG now. My next plan is to debut the girl group. Next is Yedam's team. The whole process will take at least 5 years from now."

The elder pauses, laces his fingers on his knee, then continues again.

"You and Chanwoo can still be in a group together. But because you two are the only male trainees left around your age, we'll have to recruit more. Then they will have to train for at least a year. Even then, the members aren't guaranteed. By the time a chance for you can appear, you'll be around 23. Do you get what I'm saying?"

Donghyuk can feel his jaw clenching. Of course he gets it; had thought about it as a what-if during the numerous nights he can't sleep. Still, hearing it after his heartbreak last night isn't helping even if it’s simply the reality for him and Chanwoo.

Speaking of Chanwoo...

"Sajangnim, what...what did Chanwoo say about this?"

The elder exhales a breath. "Chanwoo doesn’t know about this. I called you first. He might be outside now waiting for us to finish."

That made Donghyuk gulp. Now that it’s been brought up, why is there a need for a separate meeting with him and his younger friend? Does that...does that mean Chanwoo’s fate will be affected by whatever the result of his talk with Yang-sajangnim?

He cautiously watches from his seat as the boss takes something from his desk, before placing it on the coffee table in between them. It’s a folder.

"This is an official proposal from Cube Entertainment.” Yang Hyun-suk says as he opens the folder to reveal a document, gesturing for him to take it. “They're planning to debut a 5 member boy group in 2 year's time. They're hoping you can consider transferring to them, with a guaranteed position in the group."

It took a moment for Donghyuk to realize what his boss just said. He gulps nervously when it dawns on him, his hands slightly trembling as he took the transfer proposal from the coffee table. It said there they saw how his performance was during Mix & Match, and they think his personality, talent, and color matches with the concept of their new group. He will be the main dancer and a vocal of the group.

His immediate feeling is relief and honor. It’s not rare for agencies to switch or transfer trainees to each other’s watch, but for a known agency such as Cube to send this proposal right away, for him… somehow, the confidence he lost is trickling back in him again. Besides that, the proposition itself is tempting, a ray of light even. He won't have to suffer any more heartbreaks. He won't have to go through a possible survival show again. He'll just have to endure 2 years in a different company, then he can stand on stage again. He can meet his brothers on the stage sooner, even if as a member of a different group.

But something catches his eye.

"Chanwoo's name is not here."

Yang Hyun-suk is silent for a second before giving him a slow nod. "Ah. That's because you're the only one Cube wants. Chanwoo...so far, there are no agency offers for him except modeling jobs."

He’s speechless when he realized the implications of what his boss said, of the gravity of his decision on Chanwoo’s dreams.

If he accepts the proposal from Cube, what will happen to Chanwoo? He'll definitely be the last trainee from their age in YG. He can't be added in Yedam's group because their members are already set, and though he has talent to be a singer, he can't be a solo. His strengths are only brought out with a team.

Donghyuk feels his chest tighten in dread. What will he do now? He's being given another chance with a clear sight of the future, but at what expense? Will he unintentionally block someone else's chances and dream for it? Does he have the will to do it?

Flashes of the times he spent with Chanwoo came to his mind. The first time they met, that time when he stayed up late with him so they could practice their dance, the laughters and smiles. The tears.

He can’t do it. At least, not in that way. The answer is obvious for him, with Yang-sajangnim himself already showing the path. The entertainment industry is harsh and chances like the Cube proposal won’t always present itself for him, but he doesn’t want to go through it knowing that he would - in a way, backstab Chanwoo for that chance.

He carefully closes the folder and turns to look at Yang Hyun-suk almost fearfully.

"Sajangnim, if its ok, can I talk to Chanwoo first before I decide?" He gulps. "Please, I won't have a peace of mind if I don't talk to him first."

Yang Hyun-suk stares at him, thinking. He knew Donghyuk will ask such a thing from him. The boy has always been kind and good-hearted but if he wants to succeed, he has to be wise too. If there's an opportunity, he should take it. The only reason for him to reject it is if there's an even bigger opportunity that is sure to come for him. He shouldn’t even think of other people in his current situation.

But he's not that merciless of a man to reject a simple request from Donghyuk. So he nods and gives his permission for the boy to leave for now. He'll have to give his decision the next day at most. He just hopes whatever that decision is, Donghyuk won’t regret it.

---

Chanwoo is at the lobby nearest to sajangnim’s office. He’s sitting alone on one of the black couches, hands clasped together on his knee and his head lowered. He didn’t even notice him until he’s already a couple of steps away.

"Donghyuk-ah." Chanwoo looks up at him in surprise. His eyes are swollen and slightly red but he still manages to give out a small smile. "How's the talk with sajangnim?”

“It’s fine.” He smiles back then places a hand on the younger’s shoulder. “You’re tensed. Are you scared?”

“A bit. I know what sajangnim’s going to say, but still…” There’s a pregnant pause. Donghyuk tightens his grip on Chanwoo’s shoulder.

“Hey, can we talk before you go in there? Sajangnim gave me permission. He said you can go after.”

The younger is clearly confused with his sudden request but still let himself be pulled away from the lobby. The ride down the elevator is tensed with the silence and Chanwoo finds himself being more nervous.

They quickly found a meeting room and locked it. Donghyuk speaks right away before either of them can even sit.

"Chanwoo-ya, answer me honestly."

Chanwoo stiffens at the sudden seriousness in Donghyuk’s voice. He swallows a lump in his throat before nodding. The elder steps closer.

"How much is your desire to be a singer?"

Chanwoo was struck with the question. It’s not something he expected to be asked about but the answer is still definite. Six months ago he would have blanked out and thought for a moment, just like in that first meeting when Hanbin-hyung asked him what he liked better between being a singer or an actor. After Mix & Match, he knew what he really wanted to be.

"Like I'd die." He states seriously with a nod, almost like a vow. "If I can't stand on stage again."

Warmth spreads in Donghyuk’s chest at the younger’s answer. Relief is rising in him as well, but he couldn’t fully welcome it yet.

"Is it ok for you to wait for another 5 years before debut?"

"If that's all it takes to debut under YG, I don't mind. Heck, some people even has to train for more than 5 years here right?"

There’s a melancholy in Chanwoo’s eyes before he continues. "Besides, I know I'm still lacking. I won't be able to face the fans and iKON with unpolished skills."

The fact that Chanwoo knows about the comments regarding him, but still willing and determined to debut as a singer made Donghyuk sincerely believe Chanwoo has found love with singing. If he doesn't love it, he would have gave a neutral answer.

Now the final question.

"Then is it ok for you to be stuck with me, as founding members of a new group, while we wait for the others?"

Chanwoo's eyes widened, shock in his face, then a grin.

"Eh, so they're letting us stay together? Of course I'd like that! Actually, that's a huge relief!”

It's a huge relief for Donghyuk too. That's why he nodded at Chanwoo and asked him to come back to YG's office again, so they could tell him their decisions.

YG was surprised upon hearing that Donghyuk and Chanwoo wanted to speak to him so soon.

"So, what's your decision Donghyuk?"

Donghyuk doesn’t hesitate.

"I'll stay here sajangnim. And I don't mind waiting for at least five years."

YG sighed heavily. He glanced at Chanwoo.

"Chanwoo-ya?"

The boy nodded. "I'm the same sir. I'll train more with Donghyuk-ah."

Then the two glanced at each other before simultaneously bowing in 90 degrees.

"Please let us train more here sajangnim!!"

Silence...

YG let out a secretive smile then sighed.

"Ok, if you're that determined to be here, I won't kick you out. However, you two will start from the beginning again. Most of the lead vocal and dance trainers are busy with Pink Punk and Yedam so you two will have to improve by yourselves for now. I'll give you 3 days of rest and after that, you'll return to the training room at YG training center. Is that clear?"

"Yes!"

YG sighed again. He slumped on his seat for a moment before leaning on his knees again as he reached to take the folder. He stared at Donghyuk, giving him both an admiring and calculating look, before diverting his gaze to Chanwoo.

"Be grateful to your hyung Chanwoo-ya. He sacrificed a sure debut with Cube Entertainment for you. If he went there you would have been left with no choice but to return to acting or audition in another agency."

Chanwoo stiffened in shock, slowly looking at Donghyuk - who can only wince a bit as he avoids looking at the younger male.

"...what...?"

"Remember this fact well, and use it as a motivation for the road ahead of you. I'm expecting improvements from the both of you in the next evaluation ok?"

After that, they left YG's office feeling a light sense of relief and excitement instead of the anxiousness of another fog of uncertainty - at least for Donghyuk. Chanwoo was sobbing by the time they entered the elevator. He grabbed Donghyuk’s wrist.

"Donghyuk-ah....hyung...” Chanwoo sniffs. Donghyuk smiles sadly.

“Aish… why are you suddenly calling me hyung now?”

“...I'm so sorry...I didn't know...I'm so sorry for being so useless that you have to give up an opportunity to help me. Please forgive me, hyung."

Donghyuk sighs and blinks away impending tears. He steps closer and wraps an arm around Chanwoo's shoulder.

"Hey, it's fine now. I decided to give up the Cube proposal on my own anyway. Let’s just do our best together okay? We have to work harder than in Mix & Match now."

Chanwoo nodded vigorously. He wiped his tears and gave his hyung a determined look.

"I promise hyung. I won't let you regret this. We'll definitely debut together and stand on the same stage with iKON hyungs."

Donghyuk nodded back, finally able to smile sincerely after the whole ordeal.

"Let's do that."

A big part of his dream might have already ended but not all of it is gone. Now he has Chanwoo with him and they’ll walk on that path together. It will be more difficult, new bonds will have to be formed, and the chance of a debut is very far off. But they won’t give up. Not when he knows their iKON brothers will be waiting for them.

This is just the start.

.

.

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If anyone's curious, Dong ends up being the leader of a new 5-member group. They debut after BlackPink and meets iKON on stage sooner than he and Chanwoo hoped. I scrapped the multi-chap ver. because there's a lot of OCs and I lost interest, hahaha...

Next chap's scheduled to be a YunDong one (finally!), so please keep an eye on that.

As for Poll Story # 1 aka genderbent Donghyuk, please wait a bit more. *sweatdrops*

Also, I finally added a Table of Contents at the foreword for easier chapter access depending on the Donghyuk ships you prefer. It's also a blatant evidence of my JunDong bias but hey, you guys already know that right? Hahaha

Thank you and I hope everyone had a nice halloween! ♥