My mood for the past few days matched this one so here it is, featuring the rare pair Jinhwan x Donghyuk as brothers. A few warnings though, this is quite melodramatic and Jinhwan might appear OOC to you. Still, please have a read. :)

Jinhwan first sees Donghyuk at a hospital, wrapped in white cloth and held by his mother in her arms. Donghyuk's dad, his mom's second husband, beams at him and excitedly tells him he's a big brother now.

"This is Donghyuk." His mom adds, leaning down so Jinhwan could see the baby closer. "Say hello to your dongsaeng."

Jinhwan stares at the baby. He's initially not fond of having another person steal his mom's affections but looking at the baby's eyes - the same eyes as their mother's, he can't help but feel light, giddy and excited.

"Hi Donghyuk." He says, reaching to lightly touch the baby’s little hand with a finger. He grins when Donghyuk curls his fingers around it before giving out a small but very cute smile.

"I'm your Jinhwan-hyung. I'll protect you from now on."

---

"We can go tomorrow Donghyuk." Jinhwan tells his little brother gently as he crouched down so they could talk eye to eye. "Mom and dad are both tired from work. Let's just go get ice cream tomorrow okay?"

Donghyuk thinks for a moment but stomps his foot, still pouting. "But mama and papa promised we'll all eat ice cream from Macy's tonight! A promise is a promise!"

"Like I said, they're both tired. Be a good boy and wait for tomorrow."

He was interrupted when their mom went to them from upstairs. Donghyuk quickly runs to her and begs that they all go out for the promised night ice cream trip and Jinhwan can only sigh when their mom nods before carrying the 3-year-old in her arms. Their dad is smiling as he wraps an arm around his shoulder, telling him it's no big deal.

"It's just a short drive Jinhwan." Their dad says as they walk towards the door. "Let's make your dongsaeng happy okay? We did promise."

Jinhwan didn't argue any further because Donghyuk really do take promises seriously. Besides, a happy, smiling Donghyuk is never a bad thing and it’s not like Donghyuk's always having tantrums. This is one of those rare times.

"Are you angry with me hyung?" Donghyuk asks Jinhwan when he tucks him in his safety seat inside the car. The little boy was looking up to him with fearful eyes.

"No." Jinhwan adjusts the belt to make sure his brother is really secured. He smiles and pats him on the head. "Hyung's not angry with you. Don't be sad now."

Donghyuk beams at him. "Hyung is not angry with me so I'm not sad anymore!"

Their parents chuckles at them before driving off. Their dad turns on the radio to some jazzy music while their mom watches them fondly from her seat.

Minutes later, Jinhwan finds himself upside down inside their car. Head spinning, he blinks and glances around to see his parents in a similar state, only that their eyes were closed and blood was seeping from their heads. He gasps and turns to check on his baby brother but before he could see, someone pulls him out of the car. There was a crowd of people around them, shouting and calling for help. Smoke is everywhere and Jinhwan can only stare at two crashed cars, one crashed on a tree and the other, his dad’s car, upside down and crumbled half way.

He screams from the pain on his legs and head but more than that, he screams for his family.

No. It has to be a nightmare. It has to be.

---
 

Donghyuk wails loudly beside him, a hand wrapped on his pants and the other rubbing on his tear-filled eyes. Jinhwan stands unmoving as his fists curled around the wood of his crutches. He stares depressively on the two figures in front of them, both covered in white cloth; as white as the one wrapped around Donghyuk when he was born.

"This is your fault." He tells the younger boy in venom. "If you didn't insist to go out, both of them wouldn't be here."

Donghyuk hiccups and let go of his pants, looking up to him with the same fearful eyes he has when he asked if he's angry with him.

"If you just shut up like the good kid you should be, our parents would still be alive now! Hell, I don't care that I won't be able to play soccer from now on as long as they're alive!"

He shouldn't be saying these things, but Jinhwan is heartbroken and half of his life’s meaning is gone now. He won't be able to see his mom smile and laugh. Won't be able to talk with his new dad about the things he can't say to his mom. Won’t be able to play the sport he loves and make both of them proud.

Now they're all alone. No relatives to take care of them, and all dreams of a happy future shattered. All because of a kid's tantrum.

"This is all your fault Donghyuk! You better stick that in your head!"

---

"Hyung look, I got first place in a math quiz bee today."

Donghyuk quietly tells him as soon as he gets back home from his part-time job. He looks down at the certificate Donghyuk held up.

He glances at his brother's face to see him looking up expectantly. He ought to praise him but he sees his eyes - their mother's eyes, and he just can't.

"I'm tired Donghyuk. Go do your homework now." He says bluntly and goes straight to his room. He pretends not to hear a sob as he closed the door.

---

Donghyuk graduates top of his whole elementary school batch. Jinhwan watches his brother say his speech on the stage, no smile present on his face as he recites the words dutifully.

When he puts the medal around Donghyuk's neck, Jinhwan forces himself to say something. It's a well-earned achievement and his brother deserves to be praised.

"You did good." He says, placing a hand on the teen's shoulder who's now as tall as him.

He expects Donghyuk to smile but he just looks down and nods, telling him he'll do better in middle school. They went down from the stage in silence, and left the school in silence as well. He tells Donghyuk he needs to go back to his college for his afternoon classes.

"Here." He hands out a couple of big bills. "Eat whatever you like and go have fun with your friends."

Donghyuk stares at the money before he tentatively accepts it.

"Thank you hyung but all my friends are going with their families." Jinhwan stiffens at that but Donghyuk finally shows a smile - only it's obviously strained and lacks the life it has when he was just a little boy, when their parents were still...

"I'll just buy a new reference book with this. Is that alright?"

Jinhwan purses his lips and nods. His numb heart and mind pangs as he watches his younger brother walk away by himself, happy families laughing and hugging around the place as if mocking him. Mocking both of them.

It shouldn’t be this way. Donghyuk shouldn’t be walking by himself and he shouldn’t be prioritizing minor electives over his brother’s graduation. But Donghyuk himself is still a painful reminder for Jinhwan and he still can’t let go.

He won’t be surprised if Donghyuk just leaves one day and disappear.

---

He finally graduates college amidst multiple breaks due to his part-time jobs. The positive to it is he gets to graduate the same time as Hanbin.

Hanbin should celebrate with his parents, but he says he wants to celebrate with him and Donghyuk instead.

"Let's pick up Donghyuk from school and eat Korean beef." Hanbin tells him after a kiss. "This is a once in a lifetime occasion. You two should bond over it."

Jinhwan is reminded 2 years ago when Donghyuk graduated from elementary school. They didn't even celebrate back then.

He gulps and dials his brother's number on his phone, fear building inside him for his brother's answer. Donghyuk congratulates him then tells him that he can't go with him and Hanbin because he has classes at the big shot cram school he won a scholarship for.

"I'm proud of you hyung." Donghyuk tells him in that quiet tone he uses whenever they talk. No life and slightly fearful.

Hanbin is disappointed when he hands his phone to him so they could talk. He tells Donghyuk not to stay out too late and promises to take home Korean beef for him.

Jinhwan feels disgusted at himself because he feels relieved he doesn't have to deal with his brother when he has Hanbin.

---
 

Jinhwan lands his first serious teaching job at a local high school. His students listen well even if most of them tower over him and the entire faculty were friendly. His salary is also more than he expected and Hanbin jokes that they could go out to nicer places now.

He seldom sees Donghyuk now even if they both still live in the same apartment. Donghyuk leaves home earlier than him because his high school is located further away from their community. And when Jinhwan comes home, Donghyuk is either already asleep or is locked in his room doing homework and projects.

One day Donghyuk arrives home later than usual. He has a patch on his right cheek and his right eye is swollen.

Jinhwan asks why he has an injury like that but Donghyuk smiles that strained smile again and tells him it's just an accident.

"A basketball accidentally hit me during P.E. Don't worry about it hyung."

Then he changes the topic by telling him that he's the first place for his year in their mock midterms. Before Jinhwan could say something in reply, Donghyuk tells him he'll do his best to achieve the same result on the real thing before turning around to go to his room.

Jinhwan forces himself to say something.

"Is it really just an accident?"

"Yes hyung. I'll do my homework now."

Jinhwan clenches his fists because it's obviously not just a basketball hit. Someone had punched his brother and Donghyuk wants to hide it from him. He doesn’t blame Donghyuk for deeming him untrustworthy to be told of the truth.

But will he just let it as it is, pretending it doesn’t matter again? Something inside nags at him painfully.

He should stop with the escape he’s been doing before it’s too late.

---
 

He starts going home earlier so he could catch Donghyuk the same time he arrives. Multiple times, he notices the bruises, and even limping that Donghyuk tries to hide. His younger brother makes up excuses about PE, falling down the stairs and other bull reasons before telling him always to not worry about it.

"Stop it!" Jinhwan shouts when he had enough. "Just tell me the truth! Are you being bullied?! Tell me so we could do something about it!"

"I told you hyung, I'm just really clumsy. No one's bullying me."

"Are you taking me for a fool?!"

"No hyung. I'm just telling you there's nothing to worry about."

"Stop that bull! Stop causing me trouble and just tell me!"

Jinhwan instantly regrets what he said. He wants to apologize but Donghyuk gives him that hateful smile again, together with that look in his eyes that's both fearful and dead.

"I promise you hyung, I'm not and won't cause you trouble. This is really nothing so please just live your life peacefully okay? I'll definitely graduate first place like how you want me to." Donghyuk tells him before retreating to his room.

No, that's not what Jinhwan wants. He doesn’t care if his brother's the last in his batch, or if he can't get into Seoul University. What he wants was for Donghyuk to be safe and live each day with a genuine smile.

That’s what Jinhwan always hoped for his brother. He always knew but he chooses to be drowned in his grief and shame. This time, he’ll do what’s right.

---
 

He calls in an early clock out the next day so he could go to Donghyuk's school before the last class. The faculty welcomes him with praises, saying he raised Donghyuk up excellently despite not having parents, and that Donghyuk is a bright and very intelligent young man.

As a fellow teacher, Jinhwan knows that's just a smokescreen so he still goes through his original goal. He tells the principal about Donghyuk's injuries and his suspicion that he's being bullied.

To his shock, the principal denies Donghyuk being bullied. He threatens to put the case up to the education department and that's when the truth was said to him.

"The boy is a son of a senator. If you want Donghyuk to graduate with his grades intact, you won't say anything about it. If you want to keep your job as well. Let's just leave it as the usual roughhousing between boys shall we, Kim Jinhwan-nim? Surely your brother's future is more important right?"

Jinhwan wants to retort but he's still inside the school and he doesn’t want to do anything that could potentially harm Donghyuk's record. He leaves the faculty with heavy frustrations and anger.

He hates himself for being too powerless to do anything.

---
 

He didn't go home right away and waits in a cafe in front of the school so he and Donghyuk can go home together. He texts his brother about it, telling him to meet him there so they could eat out for dinner.

Jinhwan inwardly scolds himself for not doing such things earlier when it’s that simple and easy. He's a fool for letting himself get eaten alive by the negative feelings he has due to their parents’ deaths. How much time he had wasted when he could have used that to build a better relationship with his dongsaeng. Through that, he could have done something to prevent the bullying Donghyuk is experiencing.

He waits long but even when all the students had left the school gates, Donghyuk is still not there. He starts to become worried so he goes out of the cafe to enter the school again. A couple of students passed by him so he stops them and asks if they know Donghyuk and where he could find him.

The students acted suspiciously, giving each other glances and avoiding his gaze. He narrows his eyes and tells them he's a teacher and can report them for being accomplices if they don't say the truth. The students thankfully caught the bait and tell him.

"He's taken by Lee Hanjae's group again. They usually go behind the gym..."

---

Jinhwan honestly don't know what he's going to do once he arrives there. All he can think of is that his brother's in danger and he needs to be there.

As soon as he gets behind the gym, he sees a group of 5 high schoolers. Someone, a tall student with blonde hair was beating them up in a frighteningly expert fashion. Jinhwan gulps and feels afraid but then he sees Donghyuk slumped on the ground and leaning on a wall. His lip was busted and he's breathing heavily.

Jinhwan's body automatically moved. His legs have been weak since the accident, but he pushes himself and runs as fast as he could so he could reach Donghyuk as soon as possible. He kneels in front of his brother and holds his face.

"Donghyuk!" He calls, tears already forming on his eyes. Donghyuk opens his eyes, shock immediately waking him up.

"Jinhwan-hyung?!” He coughs roughly and pulls away. “What are you doing here?! What if someone sees you?”

Someone interrupts them by throwing a small rock. It's a student previously lying on the ground with his nose broken. With the way Donghyuk flinched and fearfully whisper the bully’s name, Jinhwan's fury rose up. It’s the kid who dared to hurt his little brother.

Before the ring leader could fully stand-up, Jinhwan goes and punches the kid on the face with all his might. The kid immediately slumps back on the ground, knocked out. He can hear Donghyuk gasp and shout his name but he didn't care.

He had just punched a student and he might lose his job for it, but Jinhwan is done escaping now. Done hurting his brother just because of the illusion of having the pieces of the life that could have been. He had vowed to protect Donghyuk since he was a baby and he'll do it now even if he's years late. He doesn't care if his school fires him or Donghyuk has to drop out as long as he's safe. Who needs a well-paying job when he can't even protect his brother? And Donghyuk doesn't need to bother with a school that tolerates bullying.

"Hey you, what are you doing here?" The blonde student says as he approaches them, a heavy glare on his face. Jinhwan doesn't hesitate and runs to push him away from Donghyuk, but the blonde student dodges smoothly. He crashes on a wall and his legs give up, dizziness swiftly consuming him.

"Junhwe stop!"

"Why? Who's this guy?"

"He's my older brother, you idiot! Don't hurt him!"

---
 

Jinhwan wakes up in the school infirmary feeling a bit of ache on his legs and his right fist. At his side, Donghyuk was sobbing. He tells him not to cry and that he did what he did because it’s the right thing to do. Donghyuk shakes his head and refused to look at him.

“What if you get fired for this hyung? You love that school so much…” He hiccups and wipes his tears but they continued to fall.

“I’m a failure. Why do I always cause you trouble? I shouldn’t be the one here. I should have been the one who—

“Stop.”

Donghyuk flinches fearfully and Jinhwan feels immensely horrible. This is what he did to Donghyuk. His younger brother who should have been full of love and smiles, is filled with fear and tears. But it’s never too late right. From now on, he’ll correct his past mistakes.

He’s finally letting go now.

“Don’t even try thinking you’re better off dead, Donghyuk. Don’t do that to me.” He reaches to hold his brother’s hand in his. Donghyuk’s fist stiffens under his touch but Jinhwan holds it firmly.

“This is all my fault. From the beginning, I was the one causing you and our parents trouble.”

Donghyuk looks up to him to protest but stops when he shakes his head. Then he chokes out a sob, looking away for a moment to gather himself before speaking again.

“I’m sorry Donghyuk. I’m so, so sorry. The accident wasn’t your fault okay? I’m a bastard for blaming it on you and letting it gradually destroy ourselves. I’ve left you alone all this time when I should have been the one to hold your hand and protect you.”

Donghyuk kept shaking his head as if he can’t agree with what he’s saying. Jinhwan sobs again and reaches to hold Donghyuk’s other hand. He squeezes them for dear life, letting his younger brother know that what he’s saying is the truth.

“And I don’t care if they fire me for protecting you. I do love that school, but…” he tugs on Donghyuk and waits for him to look at him eye to eye, for the first time in a long while.

“I love you more. I love my younger brother more.”

Jinhwan smiles when life starts to go back in Donghyuk’s eyes. Fear and hurt are being washed out by hope and Jinhwan feels the flame of life stir inside him as well.

“Will you forgive this stupid, horrible hyung and let him protect and love you properly this time?”

It’s been almost two decades and Hanbin will surely understand, but the moment when Donghyuk cries out his name and embraces him tightly is the happiest and most alive Jinhwan had felt ever since that dreadful night years ago.

Their stopped time can finally start again.

--

Jinhwan was indeed fired for punching a student. But because the gang of kids was also captured beating up Donghyuk on a video that was spread in the internet, no charges were pressed against him. Donghyuk opted to transfer out of that school as well.

“Hey! Good morning you two!”

Hanbin welcomes himself in their apartment bringing bento boxes. Jinhwan smiles up at him from the dining area as he arranges resumes and interview invitations he received so far for new teaching slots. His boyfriend leans to kiss him on the cheek before looking around.

“Where’s Donghyuk?”

“Getting ready for school. He woke up a bit late.”

On cue, Donghyuk comes out of his room quickly buttoning his inner shirt, his school coat dangling on shoulders.

“Hanbin-hyung!” he greets with a grin. Hanbin grins back and pats the younger boy’s head when he went nearer to him.

“Are these bento boxes for me and Jinhwan-hyung?” Donghyuk says, already reaching for one before Hanbin can confirm. The older male just chuckles and lets him take it before sitting beside Jinhwan.

“Eat well and do your best in school okay?”

“Yes hyung! Thanks for this!”

Jinhwan smiles as he and Hanbin watch him scurry back to his room with the food. “Thanks for the bento as well. Donghyuk’s been cooking for both of us and though I’m grateful for it, he should be studying or resting instead. I’ve been way too busy with these applications.”

“Donghyuk does it because he wants to help you, babe. The kid is more than capable of juggling his studies with other stuff, it’s quite scary.”

“I know. It makes me kind of bitter actually.” Jinhwan pouts a little as he slides papers into a plastic folder. “I wish he could act more like his age and rely on me more.”

“This is rather refreshing.” Hanbin says with an affectionate smile. “I’m happy you can openly say these things now. Donghyuk looks very happy too.”

Jinhwan beams at him and pecks his cheek.

They were interrupted with the sound of the doorbell ringing. Donghyuk gets out of his room again and quickly walks towards the door. Hanbin raisesa brow at that while Jinhwan rolls his eyes.

“He’s in a hurry.”

“That’s because it’s Goo Junhwe.”

“What? Goo-who—"

“Goo Junhwe, sir.” Someone cuts in. The two older males look up to see a tall young man with blonde hair following Donghyuk inside the apartment. The guy has his two hands inside his pockets in a cocky manner but he still bows in respect.

“You haven’t met Junhwe right, Hanbin-hyung?” Donghyuk says before dashing back to his room again. “He’s my best friend!”

“He saved Donghyuk a couple of times and got suspended but he’s pretty smart himself.” Jinhwan supplies in monotone, not even looking at the kid. Junhwe smirks.

“I’m glad you think I’m smart, hyung.”

Hanbin glances at the two back and forth before settling his eyes on Goo Junhwe. He leans and lowers his voice.

“You plan on asking our Donggie out?”

“Hanbin!”

“No.” Junhwe answers before sparing a glance at Jinhwan who’s glaring at him. Then the kid nods solemnly. “Not yet, but soon.”

Jinhwan gapes at that while Hanbin chuckles in the background. Donghyuk comes out of his room for the last time, carrying his school bag with his hair arranged more neatly. He grabs a toast from a plate and bids his two hyungs a goodbye before pulling Junhwe with him towards the door.

“Come home as soon as school ends!” Jinhwan shouts from the dining area. “And no hanging out by the Han River with Goo Junhwe!”

“We won’t! It’s exams week!” Donghyuk shouts back. He playfully pushes Junhwe out of the door before turning back to them with a bright smile.

“I love you, hyung! See you later!”

Click.

Hanbin snickers and nudges his boyfriend on the arm.

“He says he loves you. No need to be jealous of the blonde kid.”

“I’m not.” Jinhwan pauses and sighs. “Ok, I am jealous.”

“You have me, you know.”

“That’s different. This is my dongsaeng we’re talking about. You think he loves me the most?”

“Of course.” Hanbin answers with a laugh. “You can see it in his eyes.”

And that is the most beautiful sight for Jinhwan.

It’s been a long ride, they suffered so much, and the world is still unfair to them. But Jinhwan knows he, Donghyuk and Hanbin (…Ok, and maybe Goo Junhwe. Maybe.) will be facing everything together. Now, Jinhwan’s really sure.

Just like what he had vowed the first time he saw Donghyuk as a baby, and what he had promised again on their parents’ graves, he’ll protect Donghyuk and the future he will set for himself someday.

He knows their parents will be watching them from up there with smiles.

.

.

.