Prompt # 4 for alcyonne

Genre: Drama, Romance, perhaps you could somehow make this angsty (because howwww can I nawttt request that)
Pairing: JunDong
Prompt/Plot: Junhoe and Dongie's been best friends for years and Junhoe has secretly liked him this whole time, and even though Donghyuk isn't necessarily unaware of it, he keeps dating other people because he believes he and Junhoe are too different and their relationship wouldn't work out + doesn't want to ruin their friendship. But Junhoe has to do something about that, right? 

Took me longer than expected for this. Not only because I've been doing this piece by piece in between work, but because I find this more difficult to write than the previous ones. I tried to make it angsty and dramatic but again, I'm not good with gauging stuff. I think this even ended up different from the prompt, hahaha *sweatdrops*... still, I'm happy with how this turned out. I hope alcyonne and my dear readers will too. Tell me what you guys think, okay?

Fridays is when the city streets really become alive, with people from young professionals to teenagers walking down the busy sidewalks, most of them laughing or chattering away.

Junhwe watches them pass by from his window seat at a restaurant, his face reflecting the opposite of what he sees. A waiter comes to him for the 2nd time, asking if he’s ready to order yet. He gives the same answer.

“Later. I’m waiting for my boyfriend.”

He wish.

The person he’s waiting for arrives 5 minutes later, smiling sheepishly and huffing a bit as if he ran all the way from his office. Junhwe just sighs and pushes a glass of water towards him.

“You’re late.”

“Sorry! There’s this new manuscript and I can’t put it down until the end. It’s really good.” Donghyuk sits across him and accepts the glass, drinking half of the water in 2 gulps. He sighs in comfort after then smiles at him again.

“So, ordered anything yet? I’m hungry.”

“Food’s always in your head.” Junhwe snickers and calls for a waiter. The same guy who kept asking him notices and immediately goes to them, bearing two menus and a candle light wrapped with a rose ribbon.

Junhwe struggles to keep down a smirk as Donghyuk watches in confusion when the waiter places the candle on the middle of the table. The waiter says something about it being a complimentary service from the restaurant itself, before adding that they can call him again once they’ve settled on what to order.

It clicks for Donghyuk when the waiter finally leaves. He snickers as he scanned the food choices on the menu.

“Again? Why is it that every restaurant we dine into they always assume we’re a couple?”

“I know right? So troublesome.” Junhwe pretends to be annoyed. “It’s obvious we’re just friends.”

He looks up when Donghyuk puts down the menu to give him a small pout.

“We’re not just friends Goo Junhwe. We’re best friends. There’s a big difference.”

That’s true. He appreciates how Donghyuk is all proud and about their friendship. He always take offense when someone fails to be specific about what kind of friends they are, always clarifying that it’s beyond being “just friends”.

Problem is, for Junhwe, he wants to go even further. Beyond being “just friends” and “best friends”. He’s been harboring that desire for a very long time now. It’s the same reason why he pretends he’s waiting for his boyfriend whenever he’s the first one to arrive - a pathetic attempt to have Donghyuk as his lover even if it’s a deception.

His cousin Chanwoo says he’s an idiot for not trying, for not taking his chance. In some ways, Junhwe agrees. He knows it himself - he’s a coward. However, he’d like to disagree too.

He rolls his eyes at Donghyuk and jerks his chin towards the menu. “You done with that? I’ll call the waiter now.”

The slight irk on Donghyuk’s expression melts to give way for a grin. “I’m getting the premium steak set. Don’t forget it’s your turn tonight.”

Junhwe scowls, showing off a slightly offended expression. But the truth is, he wouldn’t mind spending a lot more for Donghyuk. He can even order dessert after, if he wants to.

He raises his hand to call the waiter, letting himself grin as he watches Donghyuk softly hum while looking through the menu again. Small and simple joys like that make Junhwe forget that after dinner, Donghyuk will head to Taehyun-hyung’s place for a movie night.

Taehyun-hyung, who’s Donghyuk’s actual lover.

See, this is why Chanwoo can’t really say he’s a total idiot. How could Junhwe take his chance, risk the solid bond of friendship he has with Donghyuk, when the tragic spoiler’s already in front of his face before he could even think about it?

He’s in love with his best friend for almost a decade now, even if he doesn’t love him back.

---

The first time Goo Junhwe met Kim Donghyuk was when they were 5 years old. He can still remember being annoyed that a big moving truck had stopped in front of the house across his own, because that meant he can no longer play on the lawn beside it. He was more annoyed when his mom forced him to come with her to greet their new neighbors, the freshly-baked pecan pie that he likes about to be offered to them.

That annoyance completely disappeared when the door opened. He remembers Mrs. Kim patting his head gently as opposed to the irritating cheek-pinching others do. Most of all, he remembers being dumbstruck seeing a boy around his age beside her, showing him the most beautiful smile he had seen as a kid.

As an adult, it’s still the most beautiful. Maybe ever since that moment he saw Donghyuk’s smile, Junhwe’s already been in love with him.

As they grew up, a lot of people would ask them why they were friends - best friends even. Donghyuk is cute - a ball of sunshine, all smiles and warmth and straight A’s. Junhwe is tall - cold and dark exterior, all smirks and grunts and solo flights. They were total opposites, the last people in the world anyone would think will click as friends.

Junhwe was smug about it. What do they know? They don’t see how those differences complement the two of them to each other. They were magnets, two sides that can’t function without the other and for awhile, Junhwe thought it’s going to be like that for the rest of their lives. After all, he didn’t mind if the world scorned him as long as he has Donghyuk.

But that was only him. Donghyuk, he found out, can function just fine without him. Or with another person that’s not him.

And Junhwe is left to watch at the sides, pretending that it’s okay to see that smile he fell in love with directed at someone else.

---

“Junhwe! Can a colleague of mine join us?” Donghyuk asks him through a call the day they’re supposed to go visit Yunhyeong’s newly opened cafe. He doesn’t see any reason to object so he tells his best friend to do whatever he wants.

The moment they met at the cafe, Junhwe immediately knew why. Donghyuk quickly introduces “Jinhwan-hyung”, who apparently has the same tastes in movies and music as him. The expression on Kim Jinhwan’s face says he isn’t oblivious to what Donghyuk is trying to pull, but he doesn't complain either when Donghyuk left the two of them in a booth while he goes to talk with Yunhyeong.

“Don’t blame your best friend too much.” Jinhwan tells him while nursing his cup of coffee with his two small hands. “I saw a picture of you from his phone, and I didn’t know saying you’re my type automatically means I want to be set up.”

Junhwe raises a brow in genuine amusement. “And yet you’re here.”

Jinhwan shrugs and raises the cup of coffee to his lips with a smile. “Wouldn’t hurt to have another friend.”

It wouldn’t hurt alright, especially at the discovery that he and Jinhwan do have a lot in common, not just with their hobbies but also with their way of thinking. He also finds out that Jinhwan hadn’t been in a relationship for almost 2 years now. That doesn’t faze Junhwe. After all, he wasn’t in any sort of serious relationship ever since he knew he’s in love with his best friend. All he had were meaningless flings.

“Wanna try dating after all?” Jinhwan suddenly asks after a significant amount of comfortable silence. “Maybe I can help you move on from your unrequited love.”

The fact that Jinhwan catches that even without a single mention of it impresses Junhwe, but not enough for him to agree. He glares at the smaller male, his warning to back off clear in his eyes. Jinhwan doesn’t push.

But then, Kim “Bobby” Jiwon suddenly arrives when he shouldn’t have, gleefully shouting “Congrats Yunhyeongie” for the whole cafe to hear. As he expects, Donghyuk almost dashes to greet their long-time friend, laughing when Bobby hugs him.

Junhwe knows he shouldn’t hold a grudge so long, but the presence of Bobby reminds him of highschool - of the time when he and Donghyuk came out to each other, of hoping that it meant he can take their relationship to the level he wants, only for him to crash back down when Bobby beat him to it.

Bobby has no fault though. He was faster to confess and Donghyuk agreed to go out, admitting that he had always admired their hyung. They had dated all through-out junior year until Bobby had to go back to America and they both broke it off.

Still, Bobby’s presence has been a painful reminder for Junhwe since then. Seeing him is like an instant flashback to the time he realized he can’t have Donghyuk all to himself, that Donghyuk can and will be happy with other people.

He has been in a sour mood ever since Bobby’s arrival. The hyung goes to greet him, even giving him a tight hug and Junhwe reciprocates as politely as he could. When the night is getting late and Jinhwan bids everyone goodbye, he takes advantage of it to finally escape and follow Jinhwan out, ignoring the somewhat approving grin Donghyuk throws at him.

“Does your offer still stands?” He asks Jinhwan as soon as he catches up with him around the street corner. They stand there for a while, staring as if sizing each other up.

At the back of his mind, Junhwe wants Jinhwan to say no because he’s just going to be used, and he’ll mostly be used in return as well.

Contrary to that, Jinhwan sighs and nods with a smile. It’s not as beautiful as Donghyuk’s but he’ll try to get used to it.

---

Donghyuk stands him up when the time came for their scheduled payday eat-out. Or more like, instead of his best friend, it’s his new boyfriend who arrives in the restaurant.

“Sorry.” Jinhwan tells him with a sheepish smile as he slides into the seat that’s supposed to be Donghyuk’s. “Donghyukie says he’s not feeling well so he told me to go in his place. You don’t mind do you?”

Of course he shouldn’t. After all, Jinhwan is his boyfriend and any other men would even thank Donghyuk for the sudden date opportunity. So he grins and encourages Jinhwan to order whatever he likes. He’s supposed to be the one treated but he wouldn’t mind spending again for his boyfriend. Maybe after dinner he and Jinhwan can grab late night tickets for that drama movie they’re both interested in.

But Jinhwan’s words keep ringing in his head. Donghyuk not feeling well is like a code for being depressed, most likely because of a task failure or a broken heart. His best friend is probably locked in his apartment now, drinking cans of beer despite his natural distaste for it.

“I’m sorry, I can’t stay after all.” he apologizes guiltily when he can’t take it anymore. He grabs his office bag and coat and stands up. “I remembered I have some designs I need to finish.”

Jinhwan snickers at him amusedly. “You don’t have to make excuses. I know you’re going to check on Donghyuk.”

“...I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Actually, I’m quite worried about him too.” Jinhwan sighs. “It looked like it’s a big fight with his boyfriend. He was crying in the emergency exit the whole afternoon break time.”

The surge of worry seemed to be so obvious with his face because the smaller male chuckles again and tells him to hurry. He promises to take him out on a proper date next time before finally leaving.

Junhwe arrives at Donghyuk’s apartment minutes later. He’s greeted with red eyes, ruffled hair, and a guilty look. Donghyuk asks him what he’s doing there when he’s supposed to be on a date with Jinhwan. He answers by pushing into the apartment because otherwise, Donghyuk will just maintain his lie of not feeling well.

“Jinhwan-hyung’s worried too so we decided to just cancel.” he explains before frowning at the presence of empty beer cans at the living room. The lights aren’t even properly and a zombie movie was playing on the flat screen TV.

“You can’t handle alcohol well Donghyuk. Stop drinking.” he reprimands as he crouches down to take the unopened cans. He didn’t budge even when his best friend starts lightly smacking his back as if to stop him.

“Shut up don’t tell me what to do...”

“You don’t get to act like that when you’re already slurring.”

“I’m not drunk yet!”

Junhwe sighs and puts down the cans back on the table. He grabs Donghyuk by the arm and leads him to the couch, making him sit there before taking his place beside him.

Junhwe doesn’t need to ask Donghyuk to start talking. Such a scene is already too familiar to the both of them. Sometimes, Donghyuk is decent and sober to talk about his problem in a sensible manner. Sometimes, he’s half-drunk and is more emotional with his words. Right now, Donghyuk is more of the latter and Junhwe just listens patiently.

He opens a beer can and inwardly smirks as Donghyuk complains about Taehyun-hyung’s overprotectiveness. There was also something about his boyfriend wanting to rush things, despite both of them agreeing to take it slow when they started dating. He tells Donghyuk, he told him so. He knew from the start Taehyun has some issues going on with him and had warned him about it.

As usual, Donghyuk is indignant. He says something about second chances, about the surface not being the same as the inside. Junhwe scoffs and retorts that he’s already seeing the inside so he should just break up with Taehyun while it’s still early. He should find someone more worthy of his time and feelings.

“You always say that every time but I always end up doing the exact opposite.” Donghyuk remarks with a self-deprecating laugh. He hiccups and sinks more into the back of the couch, unshed tears dangling on his eyes.

“Why am I such an idiot?”

Junhwe shakes his head before taking a sip from his beer. “You’re not an idiot. You’re just too willing to love.” he hesitates before continuing. “Too easy to love as well.”

He knows the implication of what he just said but years of being in a numbing unrequited love has taught Junhwe not to have expectations. And like the cliched movies he watch, Donghyuk dodges them all too well. Intentionally or unintentionally, it doesn’t matter. After all, Donghyuk’s still not in love with him.

“You’re wrong. I’m not too willing. I’m just desperate.” his best friend tells him with a clarity that a half-drunk person shouldn’t have.

He sighs and sobs out. “If only you and I are not so different. Why can’t we just…”

Moments like that, Junhwe always hates because he never learns. He still tenses up, still turns to look at Donghyuk in hope, only to see the said person rubbing his face and cursing because apparently he’s already too drunk.

"I'm sorry, I'm saying nonsense. Just ignore me."

There is a desire to force it out of Donghyuk. Why can’t they what? If only they're not so different, what? Why can’t Donghyuk just continue what the hell he’s about to say, and listen to what he will say in return? Just so they could stop the never-ending tragic dance they're doing around each other.

In the end, he doesn't. One look at his best friend’s depressed face and the desire to push the topic just melts off, in favor of wanting to see him get better. Junhwe buries all hope in the dark places of his heart and patiently waits for Donghyuk to fall asleep. Before long, he's already cleaning up the mess on the living room and arranging his best friend so he’s more comfortable on the couch. He takes the spare blanket from the lower compartment of the table and places it on top of Donghyuk, tucking the ends of it on his shoulders.

He affectionately arranges some of his best friend’s bangs so they wouldn’t hurt his eyes, stopping only when Donghyuk squirms a bit and mumbles in his sleep.

“Thank you Junhwe…”

In the movies, such a happening would induce a heart-throbbing moment for a character. Again, Junhwe hates such moments. Because even when he knew he shouldn’t think too much of it, he still gives in to his feelings. Still lets himself lean down, his grip on the couch hand getting tighter as his eyes flutter shut. An inch of air being the only hindrance.

Then he regains his senses, teeth gritting at his failure to keep to himself. What the hell is he doing?

He has a boyfriend, he reminds himself. Even if he doesn’t love Jinhwan, he’s still committed. He shouldn’t mess up more than he already had.

But , he’s already getting tired. He needs to stop before he could further lose himself.

---

“I’m fine now Junhwe. I’ll talk to Taehyun-hyung seriously.”

That’s what Donghyuk tells him a few days after, and on the night he finally treats him.

He nods in approval, joking that he’ll be free anytime he wants to pretend being sick again. He waits for a hearty laugh but instead, Donghyuk smiles bitterly.

“About that, it’s okay now. I’ll be alright from now on.”

The grin on Junhwe’s face drops. There’s nothing wrong with what he said, but the implication is also undeniable. Donghyuk is telling him he can stop being concerned for him.

“Please just focus on Jinhwan-hyung. After all,” there’s a small pause. “He’s your boyfriend.”

That too, there shouldn’t be anything wrong because it is true. But Junhwe still feels like he was slapped painfully.

Because it feels like Donghyuk is telling him he doesn’t need him anymore. As if he’s been dismissed just like that - similar to that time years ago when he was rudely awakened to the fact that Donghyuk’s life will always be separate from his, no matter how much he tries to connect the two of them.

He leaves after dinner feeling angry, telling his best friend he’ll do what he wants. He’ll leave him alone now.

And yet, he wants Donghyuk to stop him and tell him he’s overreacting and being overly dramatic. That there’s no need for leaving anyone alone. But Donghyuk just stays put in his seat, only giving him that cursed smile of gratitude and wish for his happiness.

Junhwe is only able to calm down when he’s already inside his flat. Fine, if that’s what Donghyuk wants. He has a point anyway. Jinhwan should be his priority.

Maybe this is a sign. A final push for him to stop dangling on a cliff, waiting in vain for Donghyuk to pull him up. Maybe it’s time to let go and let himself be saved by someone else.

---

He starts doing good with Jinhwan. If before, half of his free time revolves around Donghyuk, now the rest of it is dedicated to his boyfriend.

They text more, see each other more, and call each other almost every night. He takes Jinhwan out to walks in parks, to VIP movie screenings, to drama marathons in each other’s apartments. He lets Jinhwan bring him lunch boxes, lets him buy him new shirts, lets him hold his hand in between comfortable silences.

He’s finally doing it, Junhwe realizes. Finally moving on, trying and taking his chance - just like what Chanwoo told him to do, even if it’s with another.

For the first time, he feels happy being with a person that’s not Donghyuk.

---

Or so that’s what he thought.

He had talked with Jinhwan about taking it slow. About getting to know each other and giving each other time. Four months in, at a time when they’re most comfortable and confident with their relationship, they decide to do more.

He gives himself to Jinhwan and vice versa. It should have been the start of a new level of emotional connection but instead, Junhwe feels exactly the same way as he felt with his previous flings. He lays on his bed feeling empty, no desire to even hold his boyfriend’s hand under the sheets.

The worst part? He went through with it with another person in mind.

“I said Donghyuk’s name a few times.” he confirms to both himself and his boyfriend, feeling like a bastard for committing such a thing.

But Jinhwan is no better. He laughs bitterly, both of them now staring at the ceiling.

“It’s okay. I said my ex’s name too.”

He did, Junhwe remembers. It was “Hanbin”. Three times Jinhwan uttered that name. Five times Junhwe uttered Donghyuk’s. It doesn’t matter because all it says is he’s still trapped. Or rather, he won’t be able to escape. Despite trying to let go, he’s still deeply and irrevocably in love with his best friend.

So he finally saves Jinhwan from misery. “Let’s break up.” he simply says after a significant amount of quietness. “I’m so sorry.” he adds, but Jinhwan apologizes too. They tried, his now ex-boyfriend says, they really did try with each other. The result is unfortunate but at least they cleared up some things.

“Let’s give everything now Junhwe. No more playing safe.” Jinhwan tells him with a smile despite his teary eyes.

“You go get your man, while I get mine back.”

Junhwe scoffs at that but encourages his ex to do his best. Jinhwan gives him a rare angry look -  as if telling him to get his together and make a damn move.

He will because at that moment, he basically has no other choice. The only path left for him now is to take his chance and try - like what Bobby implied to him before going to America, like what Donghyuk’s ex-boyfriends all mocked him with, like what Jinhwan is telling him to do now.

He will finally act.

---

If this is like the book manuscripts Donghyuk edits, or the movies he watch regardless of genre, he would already be in the - the crucial part that determines whether he gets a happy ending or not. Junhwe hopes he gets the happy one.

After months of not seeing him and only communicating through short text messages, Junhwe is on his way to Donghyuk’s apartment. Jinhwan told him his best friend often goes home early now, opting to take home manuscripts to read over rather than stay late in the office.

He has with him a box full of Donghyuk’s favorite pastries and two cups of brewed coffee - especially made by Yunhyeong. Their hyung was too happy about his decision to take his chance, he even used the rare coffee beans he’s saving for special occasions. Junhwe’s grateful for the gesture.

He stops walking for a bit when his phone vibrates in his pocket. He takes it out and snickers at Bobby’s name. “I’m cheering you on, bro.” it says. Yunhyeong just had to tattle to their other friends right away, huh?

Still, luck isn’t on his side because there’s no one home when he arrives. He kept ringing the doorbell but no one is answering. He also messaged Donghyuk that he’s there but he didn’t answer. He waits for about 15 minutes before deciding to let himself in. He knows where Donghyuk hides his spare key so he takes it out and goes inside, just for a bit so he could place the pastries and the coffee on the dining table. He leaves a note saying “Let’s talk - Junhwe.” beside the coffee before locking the apartment and returning the spare key.

Then as soon as he turns to leave, he sees Taehyun rounding around the corner towards his direction.

The older male makes eye contact with him and stops. There was about two seconds of frowning before Taehyun approaches him again.

“What are you doing here?”

“Delivered something for Donghyuk. He’s not here though.” Junhwe answers, getting eye to eye with the other.

He raises an eyebrow when Taehyun clicks his tongue and mumbles something like “he should be here”. He’s about to ask when the older male averts his attention to him again, a small smirk playing on his lips.

“By the way, me and Donghyuk got back together again.” he smirks wider and pats his shoulders a few times before gripping it tightly.

“Thank you for always taking care of him, but I’ll do everything now okay? You can stop worrying about him now.”

And just like that, Junhwe is crashing back down once again. Looks like the spoiler he’s been seeing his whole life still stands.

---

“I’m too late.” he announces to no one in particular. Yunhyeong frowns at him as he places liqueur coffee in front of him before taking a seat behind the bar.

“You’re not. You’re just giving up again. I regret wasting my precious coffee beans on you.”

Junhwe sniggers and takes a sip from the coffee. It’s too bitter for his taste and he suspects Yunhyeong made it that way on purpose.

“He’s already back together with Taehyun-hyung.”

“So?” His older friend blinks at him, still unamused. “Just steal Donghyukie away from that guy.”

“I would have done that years ago if it’s that easy.”

“Then what are you going to do? Continue pretending you’re okay being just the best friend?”

“I’ve been okay with that all this time.”

“But you aren’t now.” His hyung slaps a hand on the bar, not caring that the coffee cup had shook and some of the liquid almost spilled. “Honestly, just stop being an idiot. Both you and Donghyuk need to wake up.”

Junhwe clenches his jaw, years of frustration spewing a hundred retorts in his head that he could say to defend himself. Still, he stays silent because Yunhyeong has every reason to be annoyed with him. Heck, he’s very much annoyed with himself right now.

“I just...what am I supposed to do?” He sighs and looks up at his hyung helplessly. “What can I do when Donghyuk’s happy with Taehyun-hyung? Or with another man?”

“This is why you’re both idiots. How can you two be so blind?”

Yunhyeong takes a deep breath.

“As I’m seeing it, Donghyuk’s never been sincerely happy with Taehyun-hyung, or with any of his exes. The only time he truly smiles and laughs is when he’s with you.”

---

He sees Donghyuk standing just outside his apartment. It shouldn’t be a rare occurrence but it’s been so long since the last time, Junhwe can’t help but stiffen at the sight.

“Hi.” Donghyuk greets with a careful smile, raising a plastic with a styrofoam container. Probably ddeokbokki. “Long time no see. I heard about your break-up. How’s my best friend faring?”

He’s fine, Junhwe says. He opens his flat and gestures for Donghyuk to go in. As if it’s his own home, his best friend goes straight to the kitchen, thanking him for the pastries and the coffee as he moves to transfer the spicy rice cakes on two separate bowls. Junhwe nods and watches him from the counter top.

Eventually, they move to his living room, both of them holding the bowls and casually eating a few pieces without any hurry. The TV is to a night drama but they weren’t paying attention, each of them waiting for the other to speak up.

Junhwe decides it’ll be him. “It’s an amicable break-up. We both realized we won’t be going anywhere with each other.

“…I’m sorry.” Donghyuk plays with a few pieces of the rice cakes with his fork. “It’s such a shame. You and Jinhwan-hyung seemed so compatible with each other.”

“We were, but our feelings aren’t.”

After all, he’s in love with someone else.

He changes the subject, asking Donghyuk why he’s back together with Taehyun-hyung. If he’s being treated properly. Donghyuk says he wants to give Taehyun-hyung a second chance, but doesn't say anything about better treatment. That didn’t slip past Junhwe.

He remembers Yunhyeong’s words at the café earlier.

“Are you happy?”

One word. Just one and Junhwe will let himself believe their hyung. He’ll force himself out of the pretension he’s slipping into again. He unconsciously gulps when his best friend turns to look up to him, the smile on his lips failing to give reassurance.

“No. But I’m trying.”

And that’s it.

“That won’t do. Just drop him.” Junhwe says breathlessly. He can’t believe how easy and relieving it is to say those words, to say the next ones.

“Be with me instead. I’ll make you happy.”

Donghyuk stares at him, eyes wide and lips half-parted. Junhwe knows that look; he’s waiting for him to say it’s a joke, or that he wasn’t serious. But Junhwe doesn't budge, making sure the truth can be seen even in his cold eyes.

Then Donghyuk sobs out, tears falling down into his bowl of food. “But I don’t want to lose you.” he says fearfully. “Anyone can leave me, just not you. And yet I still pushed you away.”

“Shh, it’s okay, I’m still here right?” He gently takes both their bowls and places them on the table, before cautiously pulling Donghyuk to him. He gains more confidence when the other doesn't resist, curling his fingers around his shirt.

"What if we mess up?"

"We're not going to mess up. We know each other all too well for it to happen and even if it were to happen, I know we'll do everything to fix the mess."

"What if you grow tired of me because we're so different?"

"I would have already left long ago if I'm tired of you."

"What if I push you away again?"

“Then I'll just go back to you. I’ll always be here. You got me."

He closes his eyes and lets his tears drop as well, on the spot on Donghyuk’s head where he presses a soft kiss. "I love you.”, he finally confesses. 

“I love you.” he repeats. With emphasis and all the sincerity he could muster.

Donghyuk doesn’t respond but Junhwe doesn’t mind at all.

This is just their beginning. They’ll eventually get there.

---

Junhwe’s there when Donghyuk and Taehyun officially broke up. They're holding hands, fingers laced and not letting go even when Taehyun stares at their hands in 4 slow seconds. “I’m so sorry hyung.” Donghyuk simply says, eyes downcast in guilt. Junhwe stands firm beside him, eyes leveled with the older male as if daring him to protest.

But Taehyun just sighs as if he wasn’t surprised, or that he’s been expecting it to happen.

“It’s okay, I’m sorry as well. I always knew.” His shoulders slump as he gently pats Donghyuk on the head. “You can never be happy if it’s not with Junhwe anyway.”

Taehyun makes eye contact with him right after. “Take care of him.”

Junhwe squeezes Donghyuk’s hand in a silent vow as he answers to Taehyun that he will.

---

Finally being in a relationship with Donghyuk doesn’t do much difference. They're still as contrasting as night and day and no amount of effort can change that. Not that Junhwe wants Donghyuk to change. After all, he continued to love him despite everything.

They still have their regular payday eat-outs, still have their long conversations on novel manuscripts and architectural designs. He still drags Donghyuk to the movie theaters and suffers from listening to him list all the plot holes he could find. And he still gets his revenge by pointing out all the wrong color combinations in Donghyuk’s furniture and clothes just to annoy him.

Yunhyeong teases them that they’ve always been like lovers without the actual tag. It’s just that they’ve been too busy being the idiots that they were. Junhwe wants to complain about being constantly called an idiot, but Donghyuk acknowledges the quip with a hearty laugh so Junhwe decides to just let it slide.

There are still changes of course: the hand-holding, the arm on smaller waist, fingers around a longer arm. The kisses. Sometimes sweet and short. Sometimes long and heated. They did those things in no hurry, choosing to just enjoy each other's presence in the new light they're under.

Then the never-ending clarifications. No, he’s no longer just Donghyuk's best friend. He’s his boyfriend now.

His boyfriend. It will take a while for Junhwe to really get used to referring Donghyuk like that, but he wouldn’t want it any other way.

---

Donghyuk finally tells him he loves him back many months after. He wakes up in the morning with his boyfriend in his arms, reeling in at the fact that there’s no emptiness. Nothing of the dread from his previous flings and relationship. Instead, there’s the desire to never let go, the adoration he feels stronger than ever.

“I love you.” he says as a greeting when Donghyuk blinks his eyes open. Junhwe runs a hand to arrange his boyfriend’s ruffled hair neatly, cupping his cheek right after.

“I know.” Donghyuk answers with a chuckle. Then he takes his hand on his cheek and kisses his fingers, the smile on his face the most beautiful he’d ever seen.

“I love you too. Let’s continue to be happy together, okay?”

Junhwe wants to cry but he settles with a good morning kiss. He can cry all he wants in the shower later.

“Okay.”

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.

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Lmao, why am I feeling fluffy after re-reading this? Fail, hahaha!

See you guys soon for the last prompt!