20:45

Eavesdropping

I don't know if D.O has lost his mind or I should follow what he says to me.
Currently I'm at a restaurant alone. Sehun called me and I turned my phone off. I just need time to think .. and space to focus.

"He didn't die in a fire accident" D.O repeated. Waiting for an answer I just caught my breath. He wanted me to remember something I had no idea of.
And I just wanted to forget all the past. But Kai was constantly interrupting... if he didn't know me then why...

"How.. how did he die?" I found myself repeating this question.

D.O closed his eyes, his face more tired than ever. He looked like an old man about to die.

"Ellie.. just .. leave please."

I just stood there... how can I leave now? When he was telling me this?

"I don't want to leave  ... I have to know"

"THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!" He shouted in insanity and his eyes opened wide full of rage. Something was troubling him deeply from what I could see. Maybe I had to be scared, but just now I saw him at his most tired state... so I didn't get scared a bit.
He was staring at me and expecting me to probably leave.

"I know it's hard for you.. all that's happening. Including Lay ssi's trial today" I tried to remain calm when he left the room immediately and approached the terrace, and I followed him.
"It's hard but you're stronger than this.

D.O just stared at the street right below him.
and sighed.

"Ellie please... just leave. I'll talk about it.. just leave me now. And try to remember"

I watched him for a bit and realised it...
If I want to remember... then..

"Help me to" I hopelessly whispered. And my voice cracked from the tears that filled my eyes. Raising my eyes, not allowing them to fall down on my cheeks, I just hoped he will say something. I was so desperate at this moment...

For days and days of trying to remember something.. I realised no one actually helped me to remember. 
Sehun oppa said he will help... but until now he hasn't done anything. They left me all alone and expected that I will remember something... that was so selfish of them.

And now D.O just repeated over and over how I have to remember... but what did I have to remember?

"He didn't die in a fire.. but I don't know how he died."

God, my tears fell down my cheeks.. I lost myself and stared at D.O not believing what my ears just heard.

"What do you mean?" I asked with a trembling voice.

His back was all I could see.. but he was calm. Maybe because he finally got to say this to someone.. or maybe because he expected me to remember something...

"I don't know" He answered "I don't know.."

He turned around and looked at me with cold eyes.

"I don't think you know anything about it too" He suddenly continued "I was a bit upset earlier, so don't worry.. you have nothing to do with it"

I knew he was lying but I nodded.

"His parents know?" I asked and D.O tilted his head to one side.

"About?"

"How he really died."

He smiled gently.. for the first time.

"They know what they have to know. And what everyone else knows. Don't worry about it.. take care of that jacket.. I washed it"

Still surprised of the fast way he changed subjects, I followed him as he reached the front door.

"If there's something you have to tell me" I looked at him with concern "regarding Kai or regarding anything else... please don't keep it hidden"

I said those words... i had a feeling he knew more than this.. maybe he did know how he died.. maybe he just didn't want to admit.. for some unknown reason.

"There's nothing else, just go" D.O coldly answered and opened the door. Without any other hope left, I left.

"Yobosaeyo?" I picked up the ringing phone to Baek.

"Ellie.. what are you doing ? Didn't you say you will come for the trial?"

Although I didn't know Lay ssi personally, I've still decided to go for the trial.. I was his manager after all and I felt some kind of responsibility towards him.

And now I'm sitting here and wondering...
Why is everything so complicated.
Why is my life like this?
Have I done something really bad in my previous life?

I took the chopsticks and dug into my meal, all the appetite leaving my side.
I wasn't hungry at all so I just left them aside. And continued to deeply think..

Lay just admitted he killed that girl... 
He just gave up.
It was a shock.. for everyone...
It was so weird and I couldn't even think of one good reason he would do that.
I can't even think that he's done something like this.. Although i don't know him.. but based on what Sehun knows about him..

It can't be so simple. It can't be true that he has done this crime. Th