A/N: Okay, before we proceed with the chapter, I'd just like to say that it's Kyuhyun who came up with the names, not me.

So, yeah. Don't judge me- judge him. :P

Book 1: Impossible? It's possible!

Chapter 7: Name

As Hankyung sat in front of the mirror while his hair was being styled, he couldn’t help but listen to the conversation of his stylist with another member of the staff. (And no, Hankyung wasn’t just making excuses about eavesdropping on others’ conversations. He really couldn’t help it, with the talk happening right behind him!)

Hankyung’s hairstylist was about 8 months pregnant, and she was telling her friend about how she and husband were finding it hard to choose the name of their coming little one. As the hairstylist told her friend, there were just so many good name choices, but the name they pick just has to be perfect.

That got Hankyung thinking about Kyuhyun’s baby.

He wondered if Kyuhyun was already starting to think of possible baby names. Hankyung decided to ask Kyuhyun about it when he got home that night.

What Hankyung didn’t know was that opening the “baby name” subject to Kyuhyun was a big mistake.

Name Idea #1: Genius                                   

That night, after the feast that Hankyung cooked for dinner (that was just mostly eaten by the ever-hungry, pregnant Kyuhyun), the two males were to be found lounging in Hankyung’s living room. The poor, exhausted Hankyung was lying on the sofa, while Kyuhyun took the comfiest armchair for himself as his fingers hit the control buttons wildly, his tongue sticking out a bit in concentration as he destroyed the aliens on the screen.

Before Kyuhyun came to live with him, Hankyung didn’t have any gaming gadgets in his home. The Chinese was never that fond of them, and with his schedule, he figured he wouldn’t have time to play games on them anyway. A few weeks ago, though, he finally acquiesced to Kyuhyun’s complaints of boredom and bought a gaming system. And Hankyung felt afterwards that it was one mighty fine investment. The games took most of GameKyu’s attention now, and it only meant lessening Hankyung’s “torture time” from the evil maknae.

“Say, Kyuhyun?” Hankyung said now, after finally getting a bit of rest from his tiring day. It took a lot of toll on him to finish his own schedules and still serve the evil maknae when he got home, after all.

“Hmm?” was all that Kyuhyun grunted in reply.

“I’ve been thinking…”

Kyuhyun snorted. “You were thinking? Aww, that must have hurt your head a lot, hyung. Don’t strain yourself.”

Hankyung was going to throw a cushion at him, but Kyuhyun, not even glancing away from his game on the screen, said, “Uh-uh, hyung! You wouldn’t want to hurt a baby, would you?”

“I was going to aim for your head, not your stomach!” Hankyung retorted, but he put the pillow down all the same. “Anyway, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about- your baby.”

“What about my kiddo?”

“That’s just it. You can’t keep calling it ‘baby’ or ‘kid’, especially when it already arrives. I’m wondering if you’re already thinking of baby names?”

“What’s the point?” Kyuhyun shrugged distractedly, focusing more on throwing a bomb at another alien. “I’ll probably know what I should name it when I see it.”

“You’re going to wait until the baby arrives?” Hankyung raised an eyebrow. “Why not at least make a list of possible name choices, if you want to wait until you see the baby before making the final decision?”

“No need,” Kyuhyun said dismissively. “I’ll be able to think of a name right there and then.”

“Oh, I’m sure you can think of a name. But would it be a good name? What if you can only think of- of- of- silly, stupid names?”

That mere suggestion from Hankyung greatly shocked and offended Kyuhyun that he accidentally let his character get killed. Cursing, the evil maknae threw the game controller aside (narrowly missing an expensive, antique vase that Hankyung’s mother gave him last Christmas).

Kyuhyun glared at Hankyung, both for suggesting that he would come up with a stupid name and for getting his character killed.

“Do you know who you’re talking to?!” Kyuhyun hissed venomously. Hankyung looked taken aback. “I am Cho Kyuhyun! I am an evil genius! How dare you suggest that something I would ever think of would be something stupid?!”

Hankyung rolled his eyes. Really, even after knowing Kyuhyun for so many years now, it was in moments like this that he still found the size of the maknae’s ego to be… astounding. And Hankyung doesn’t even mean that in a good way.

“I am smart! I am a genius!” Kyuhyun continued ranting hotly. “I can easily think up of perfectly awesome names for my baby, just so you know! I-“

Kyuhyun abruptly broke off, his eyes widening.

“Hey, that’s a good name!” the younger male exclaimed suddenly. He smirked smugly at Hankyung. “See, hyung? I’m not even trying right now, and I’ve already come up with one awesome name for the baby!”

“What?” Hankyung was utterly confused. Where did Kyuhyun even mention a name in his rant just now, let alone “a perfectly awesome” name? Maybe the Korean translator in his brain was faulty again?

But, no-

“’Genius’ would be a good name, don’t you think so, hyung?” Kyuhyun said excitedly now. “It’s perfect for my baby! Genius! Cho Genius!”

Hankyung was gobsmacked. “You want to name your baby ‘Genius’?!”

The older male wanted to facepalm. And here Kyuhyun was just claiming that there was no way someone as smart as him would come up with a stupid baby name.

Who in their right mind would name their baby ‘Genius’?!

But then again, Hankyung had always suspected that maybe- just maybe- Kyuhyun wasn’t perfectly sane.

“You can’t name your baby that!” Hankyung said exasperatedly.

“Why the hell not?” Kyuhyun scowled. “It’s my baby! I get to name it whatever I want!”

“Well, yes- but- but- that’s not even a real name!” Hankyung was now desperate to make Kyuhyun see reason.

Kyuhyun just raised his eyebrows. “Of course it is! Personally, I feel that my parents should have named me that, actually. ‘Cho Genius’. Very appropriate for me, don’t you think?”

Hankyung rolled his eyes again at Kyuhyun’s ego.

“But I suppose there was no way they could have known that I would turn out to be the genius that I am,” Kyuhyun continued to muse. He shrugged. “So, that’s why I’ll give that name to my kid instead. I know the baby will be a genius. He or she can be ‘Cho Genius’ instead. See, it’s perfect? It’s uni even, ‘Genius’ will work whether it’s a boy or a girl!”

Kyuhyun looked so proud of himself for thinking of that name.

Hankyung could only stare disbelievingly at him. “How do you even know that your baby will be a genius?”

“How can it not, when it’s my kid? No kid of mine will not be a genius!” Kyuhyun huffed.

“And what if it’s not?” Hankyung challenged. “Let’s just say it’s not a genius. What are you going to do then? ‘Genius’ won’t be an appropriate name, and you won’t know it for sure until the kid is already older. What are you going to do if he or she is not a genius?”

That had Kyuhyun frowning to himself seriously.

Hankyung wondered idly if Kyuhyun was thinking if he could just change the child’s name when it’s older and if it doesn’t turn out to be a genius.

But it turns out that Kyuhyun’s thoughts were much worse than that. Much crazier.

“Hyung…” Kyuhyun said slowly, looking up to meet Hankyung’s eyes seriously. “There’s also disownment in China, right?”

Hankyung’s mouth fell open.

“Are you serious?! Tell me you’re not serious!”

Kyuhyun just shrugged and retrieved the game controller from wherever he had thrown it.

Hankyung really facepalmed this time.

He’d like to think that Kyuhyun was just fooling him again, but maybe…

Maybe Hankyung would have a bigger problem than the poor kid being named ‘Genius’, and that’s the kid being disowned if he or she didn’t turn out to be a genius…

Name Idea #2: Cucumber

Name Idea #3: Peanut Butter

A few nights later, Hankyung got home really late. Like, way past midnight late. And he still had to make perfectly sliced cucumbers when he got home.

“Here,” Hankyung mumbled tiredly, placing the fourth set of sliced cucumbers in front of the evil maknae for him to inspect.

The first three sets had been rejected by Kyuhyun, and Hankyung was subsequently used as target practice with the imperfect slices by the irritable, pregnant evil maknae. At another time, Hankyung would have been annoyed and furious and frustrated about Kyuhyun’s pickiness, but he was just too tired tonight.

He only hoped that this fourth set would pass Kyuhyun’s "standards".

Kyuhyun raised the plate to the level of his eyes, eying and poking each slice critically.

Finally, thank God finally, he gave a nod of approval. Kyuhyun scooped out lots of peanut butter and started dipping the perfect slices into it.

Hankyung tiredly threw himself on the chair opposite Kyuhyun, not even bothering to go to bed already because he would still have to clean up after Kyuhyun. His eyelids started to droop as Kyuhyun munched happily on his cucumbers.

As Kyuhyun bit into his fifth slice of peanut butter coated cucumber, he suddenly paused.

“Hey, hyung,” Kyuhyun suddenly said, his mouth still full of half-chewed cucumber.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, Kyuhyun,” Hankyung said sternly at once. As sleepy as he was, he still brought it upon himself to remind Kyuhyun of his manners. He was the only hyung around to do it, after all.

Kyuhyun did a big swallow.

“I’ve thought of another possible baby name just now!”

All sleepiness was immediately gone. The proclamation from Kyuhyun did a better job of waking Hankyung than a large mug of expresso, with extra shots of caffeine, would have done.

And judging from Kyuhyun’s first “perfectly awesome” baby name idea, Hankyung had good reason to be alert and wary.

“And what is it?” Hankyung dared to ask.

“Cucumber!”

Hankyung immediately wished he didn’t dare to ask (though Kyuhyun would still probably have told him, anyway).

“You’re considering naming your child after a vegetable?!”

“Why not? I love cucumbers, and I love the baby. So, why not name the baby after it?” Kyuhyun explained his “logic”.

“Yeah, you love cucumbers… until your pregnancy cravings are gone and you’re antagonistic to every vegetable again,” Hankyung said dryly. “Besides, if you truly love the kid, you would not name it that! Think of how much it will be teased!”

Kyuhyun nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, the other kids will probably be jealous and give my kid a hard time for having a perfectly awesome name while they don’t... But it’s not my kid’s fault that I’m a genius who can think of cool names while their parents can only come up with boring names!”

“Kyuhyun, ‘cucumber’ is not a perfectly awesome name!” Hankyung groaned.

“I wouldn’t expect someone like you to appreciate its unexplored potential as a name,” Kyuhyun sniffed haughtily.

“You might as well name the kid ‘Peanut Butter’ and be done with it,” Hankyung said sarcastically, waving a hand towards the bowl of peanut butter.

Well, Hankyung meant it to be sarcastic.

But, of course, it got Kyuhyun thinking again.

“’Peanut Butter’, you say?” Kyuhyun said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

Hankyung wanted punch himself. “That is not to- You cannot- You are not meant to take that seriously!” he shouted.

“But it’s also a good possible name,” Kyuhyun decided, nodding to himself. “Shame I’m not having twins and I could name them as a pair- ‘Cucumber’ and ‘Peanut Butter’. That would have been totally awesome…”

If that’s what Kyuhyun would choose as names, then Hankyung was very glad indeed that Kyuhyun won’t be having twins.

Name Idea #4: Hot Stuff(?????!!!!!)

Hankyung couldn’t help but blame himself for opening the baby name topic to Kyuhyun. If Kyuhyun’s name choices ended up driving him insane, he would have no one to blame but himself! (Well, of course, he could also blame Kyuhyun, but Kyuhyun was a cunning evil maknae like that, making his hyungs take the blame for the evil acts he commits…)

Kyuhyun now spends his time coming up with “perfectly awesome” names for the baby.

And the names would usually pay some kind of homage to him.

“What about a name that would represent my vocal prowess? Or something that would refer to my good looks?” Kyuhyun thought out loud one day.

Hankyung groaned. “For the last time, Kyuhyun! This is not about you! This is about your baby!”

“Exactly! My baby! So, it should live up to me, shouldn’t it?”

Yeah, Kyuhyun didn’t have high expectations for his baby.

He had absurd expectations!

Or at least Hankyung thinks so.

“Live up to you?!” Hankyung repeated incredulously.

“Well, yeah,” Kyuhyun shrugged. “I mean, who else would it live up to, right? Again, it’s my baby.”

“It’s also Changmin’s baby!” Hankyung pointed out.

Kyuhyun’s heart clenched a bit at that, since it reminded him of how Changmin wouldn’t be there to raise their baby, but he brushed it off and said instead, “You’re suggesting I name the baby after Changmin? What, you want me to call the baby ‘Hot Stuff’ instead?”

Hankyung choked on air.

“Hot Stuff?!”

“You said name it after Changmin! And you know I totally say that ‘Hot Stuff’ is so accurate for Changmin, even if we are already over. But anyway… don’t you think it’s just a bit weird to name my own baby that?”

“I’m not telling you to name the baby something like that!” Hankyung said loudly, horrified. What other pet names did Kyuhyun have for Changmin, after all? We