A/N: And here’s the next chapter! It’s a bit longer because we’re introducing two new OCs here.

I hope you enjoy the chapter! :)

Book 2: The (Crazy) Baby Years

Chapter 4: ELF

Day 3 of being alone, and the apartment was what the government would have probably declared as a “state of calamity.” It was practically a toxic wasteland, really.

Earlier that morning, Kyuhyun almost had to wade through a “sea” of clothes to get out of his bedroom. He was looking for his favorite shirt yesterday, but he couldn’t find it. So, of course, he just had to empty his whole closet, throwing all the contents out until he found what he was looking for. And, of course, the maknae didn’t bother to put everything back. Because his genius brain totally figured out that the sea of clothes will eventually disappear as he used them.

Sigh. Kyuhyun.

If Hankyung had known what was happening in the apartment, he would have fainted. But whenever the Chinese man would send “crazy, worrywart messages” (as the evil maknae would like to call them), Kyuhyun would just reply that “Everything’s just grand, so go away and bother someone else, hyung.” Hankyung might be a bit naïve, but he really got the feeling that Kyuhyun wasn’t telling him the truth. He could feel that everything wasn’t grand in his dongsaeng’s apartment. Unfortunately, Hankyung was buried in schedules and couldn’t make the drive to Kyuhyun’s place.

Hence, the “state of calamity” apartment now.

“I’m really getting sick of cereals,” Kyuhyun grumbled as he poured yet another bowl for lunch.

Yes, lunch.

As the burned pots and spilled sauces on the stove from his first day (yeah, they’re still there even now) would attest, Kyuhyun just. can’t. cook. So, there. The maknae had to live on cereals. Normally, he loved the sugary goodness, but after three days of the stuff, he was practically sick of it. Yeah, he had different flavors and different kinds, but still! They’re all grains!

Kyuhyun was thankful that Minhyun was still too young to eat solid food. He couldn’t even properly feed himself; he had no idea how he’d be able to feed his son who inherited the “food monster” trait from Changmin. Kyuhyun had a strong feeling that eating just cereals would never satisfy his son.

And it seemed like it won’t continue to satisfy Kyuhyun for much longer, too, because as he poured out his second bowl (yeah, he’s sick of cereals, but he’s hungry, okay?! Stop judging!), only a few pieces fell out from the box. Groaning and complaining under his breath and just being his usual irritable, evil maknae self, Kyuhyun dug into the pile of food all over the kitchen counter. But all he could find were empty cereal boxes (yeah, the self-proclaimed-genius-but-actually-an-idiot-in-household-stuff maknae didn’t have the sense to throw them away)!

He was out of cereals!

Oh, the horror!

So, Kyuhyun did the only thing he could think of. He grabbed his phone. ‘Hyung! Buy me cereals!’ he typed out quickly.

Hankyung’s reply was instantaneous (he keeps his phone ready just in case Kyuhyun finally managed to burn down the apartment or something. He gets paranoid when it comes to the maknae, sue him). ‘Kinda too far away right now, Kyu -_- Go buy some yourself.’

Kyuhyun glared at the reply. “You’re not helpful!” he half shouted, half whined at his phone.

Where was he even supposed to find cereals? Was there a grocery in this small town? Well, yeah, there probably was, but Kyuhyun didn’t have the good sense to ask Hankyung or Hankyung’s uncle beforehand.

Inwardly grumbling about a certain, “most unhelpful” Chinese hyung, Kyuhyun climbed over obstacles in the hallway (yes, he really had to climb over some boxes and piles, no kidding) to get to Minhyun’s room. Sticking his head into the room, he found that the baby was still very much busy and absorbed with yet another milk bottle that Kyuhyun had somehow managed to make for him before the maknae tried to get lunch for himself.

Since Minhyun really didn’t like being interrupted during feeding time (seriously, don’t bother his feeding if you want your eardrums to stay intact!!), Kyuhyun made his way to the front door himself. He figured he’d quickly go down and ask the elderly landlady of the building for directions to the nearest grocery, and when Minhyun was finished with the bottle, they’d go to the store.

Five minutes later (it took that long ‘cause the maknae had to unearth his keys from some pile or the other), Kyuhyun was stepping out of his apartment. Locking and closing the door behind him, his eyes fell on the door opposite his apartment.

Kyuhyun’s apartment was located at the topmost floor of the building. “Topmost” sounds fancy, but the building was really just simple and small; it only had three floors. And at the third floor, there were only two apartments: Kyuhyun’s and the one opposite his.

Kyuhyun had been living there for just a short time and hadn’t really gone out much yet, so he’s had no chance of meeting or running into his new neighbor/s. He had no idea who lived at the opposite apartment or how many people even lived there.

Now, though, the door of the other apartment opened, and a young Chinese woman came out. She looked around Kyuhyun’s age. She didn’t spot Kyuhyun at first since she was busy rummaging in her handbag, seemingly looking for something. Then, she probably sensed that she wasn’t alone and looked up. She spotted Kyuhyun in front of her and stared.

For most people, it would have been almost automatic to smile and say a friendly greeting or acknowledgment to a new neighbor. Kyuhyun was an evil maknae, though, so he still debated if he should even bother.

Not to mention that the woman’s staring was starting to creep him out a bit, too.

Hankyung had assured him that the concept of “K-pop” was practically nonexistent in this small town, so Kyuhyun didn’t know why she was staring. The apartment behind his closed front door was scarily dirty, but he had made sure that he was clean and acceptable before he went out. Or maybe it was because he was a foreigner? Since this was a small, rural town, maybe people here weren’t quite used to outsiders, much less foreigners.

But then, the woman seemed to have snapped out of her frozen state, and she opened . Whatever Kyuhyun was expecting her to say, it wasn’t the scream/squeal in Chinese that she let out.

“CHO KYUHYUN!!!”

Then, as Kyuhyun now stared at her with wide eyes, she hyperventilated/spazzed for a few seconds before promptly dropping to floor, fainted.

Kyuhyun stood rooted in front of his apartment for a minute, staring at the fainted figure in front of him.

There was only one thing that he could think of in that moment: ‘I AM GOING TO KILL THAT IDIOT HYUNG!’

Hankyung had assured him that no one here would know who he is!

Of course, the idiot would be wrong!

And Kyuhyun himself was also an idiot for actually trusting him on that! After all his years living with Super Junior, he still hadn’t learned that it was never wise to trust stupid, idiotic hyungs!

As Kyuhyun was internally cursing himself, he heard a small voice. “Mom?”

A small Chinese girl stepped out the apartment. She gasped out when she saw the fainted woman. “Mom!”

Kyuhyun’s instinct was to run back into his apartment and hide, since apparently the woman knew who he was, but as the small girl kneeled beside her mother and tried to shake her awake, Kyuhyun just couldn’t bring himself to leave. Even his conscience couldn’t bear leaving the small girl with her fainted mother (and yes, he actually has a conscience, thank you very much! It doesn’t often make itself known, but it’s still there! Hmph!).

Kyuhyun cautiously walked towards them, making the girl look up and notice him.

“You’re one of those guys on my mom’s posters,” the child said, eying him curiously.

The maknae internally facepalmed. If the spazzing shout earlier hadn’t clued him in, then this definitely confirmed to him now that the woman was indeed a fangirl!

‘No one knowing K-pop, my ,’ Kyuhyun thought, mad and cursing at his hyung for getting him into this situation.

“So, that’s why she fainted,” the young girl said quietly to herself, looking down at her mom. The child’s expression cleared. She let out a sigh of relief. “She’s fine.”

Despite his less-than-ideal situation, Kyuhyun was curious about the kid. She seemed so… serious. Mature for her age. She look no older than six, after all.

The girl stood up and held out a hand to Kyuhyun for a proper handshake, making Kyuhyun think even more that the child really was more mature than what was expected for her age.

“I’m Lin,” the girl told him quietly. “This is my mom, Xiari. You’re Cho Kyuhyun. My mom fangirls about your group.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” Kyuhyun replied dryly as he shook the kid’s hand. Then, he look down at the woman. Xiari. She still hadn’t woken up. When Hankyung fainted before, Kyuhyun had slapped him to get him up again. But he couldn’t very well do that to a woman. He consider toeing her with the tip of his shoe, but that seemed rude, especially with the woman’s daughter right there.

But Kyuhyun was saved from the trouble of figuring out what to do when the woman suddenly let out a loud groan.

“Ow, my back hurts,” the woman complained as she sat up. Then, she spotted Kyuhyun’s legs. Startled, she looked up. “Oh, my God it wasn’t a dream! Cho Kyuhyun!” she squealed again.

Kyuhyun quickly backed away again.

“Mom, you’re scaring him,” the little girl said quietly, shaking her head at her mother.

“Oh, right, sorry,” Xiari said sheepishly as she stood up. “But it’s Cho Kyuhyun!” she said yet again in awe. Then, she added a bit more seriously to Kyuhyun, “Sorry, but just give me one more second.”

And Kyuhyun could only stare in confusion, thinking ‘What the hell?!’, as the woman buried her face in her hands and screamed and squealed into them for a few seconds. Then, when she resurfaced, she took a few deep breaths, calming herself down. She smiled at Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun noted that the smile was “normal” now; it wasn’t a “rabid fangirl” smile anymore, at least.

“I’m Xiari, this is my daughter Lin,” the woman started rambling in Chinese. Kyuhyun was about to he tell her that her daughter had already told him this while she was unconscious, but she was talking a mile per minute, making Kyuhyun think that maybe her fainted state was more preferable. “Oh, it is such the greatest honor ever to meet you—“

“Uhh—“ Kyuhyun tried to interrupt, but it was pointless.

“—I’m such a huge fan, and I have all your albums—“

“Well—“

“—And I have all your songs memorized—“

“That’s nice, but—“

“—And I go to all your concerts here in China—“

Before Kyuhyun could try to interrupt again, though, Xiari suddenly broke off on her own, her eyes suddenly narrowed at Kyuhyun. Actually, one could even say that she was even glaring at Kyuhyun!

Kyuhyun was a genius, but he had long given up trying to understand how women think and act. Based on his experience with his older sister alone, women can suddenly just shift from one emotion to another in half a second! How confusing!

“I went to Super Junior’s concert in Shanghai a couple of weeks, and you weren’t there! I traveled all the way to see all members, and you weren’t there!” she accused Kyuhyun, making her disappointment at not having seen all members at the concert quite known to Kyuhyun.

At her words, Kyuhyun’s face fell a bit. Another reminder that he wasn’t with his hyungs anymore. That he wasn’t with Super Junior anymore. That instead of traveling and performing, he was currently in hiding.

Xiari must have sensed the shift in his mood; she suddenly looked concerned. And then surprised. “Oh, my God! You’re missing right now!” she blurted out, remembering the current “missing” state of Super Junior’s precious evil maknae. “But, wait—no! You’re not missing! Not anymore, if you’re standing right in front of me! Oh, I have to tell my fellow ELFs! This is so wonderful!”

And Xiari made to run back inside her apartment, probably to grab her laptop or her phone and let all the ELFs know that the maknae has been found.

That snapped Kyuhyun out of his forlorn mood and into action right away!

“Wait!” Kyuhyun shouted, panicking. “You can’t let anyone know where I am! No one’s supposed to know where I am!”

Xiari’s expression went back to one of concern.

“Hangeng assured me that no one in this town would know of K-pop,” Kyuhyun grumbled as he continued his explanation. “Of course the idiot would be wrong…” he added in an undertone.

The woman was surprised. “H