A/N: Hi, guys! Here’s the next chapter! It’s the start of Book 3 already!

Please do read this note about Book 3 first, though: Book 3 will not necessarily be chronological. In the previous two books, all the chapters were posted based on which happened first. Book 3’s more “theme-based” instead. Also, some chapters in Book 3 might be shorter than usual (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing since we get to Book 4 sooner XD).

Book 3: The (Crazier) Toddler Years

Chapter 1: Cooking

Combine an ELF neighbor’s challenge, an evil maknae’s stubborn pride, and a baby’s food-monster-like appetite, and you would get Kyuhyun living in his own personal “nightmare.”

Right now, the maknae was currently in his kitchen (*alarm bells ringing*), trying to mix the “sauce” that he was cooking in a large, metal pot on the stove. Note the emphasis on trying because it was extremely difficult to stir the mixture, seeing as it had taken a semi-hard and very sticky texture. Kind of melted bubblegum. Which is quite far from the spaghetti sauce that Kyuhyun was actually aiming to produce.

The more that Kyuhyun tried to stir, the harder and stickier the mixture got. Until—

“WELL, F—” Kyuhyun just managed in time to stop himself from cursing (seeing as Minhyun was behind him, sitting on his high chair) as the wooden spoon that he was using broke into two.

Kyuhyun was now just holding the half with the handle; the actual spoon part was stuck in the “sauce.”

Grumbling irritably to himself, Kyuhyun turned off the stove.

Another failed attempt!

The evil maknae didn’t bother to try and throw away the mixture, though. With the sticky effect of the “sauce” that he had somehow managed to produce, he’d have to throw the whole pot away when it got cool enough to toss in the trash.

As he waited for the pot to cool, Kyuhyun surveyed his kitchen.

Cupboard doors all opened. Ingredients spilled everywhere. Dirty dishes, utensils, pots, and pans.

The usual when the hapless-with-cooking-and-chores evil maknae “cooks.”

“How did I even get into this mess?” Kyuhyun muttered to himself rhetorically.

Rhetorically because how could he not remember the source of his current dilemma: Xiari.

Last week, his ELF neighbor had challenged him to cook!

“It’s downright shameful for a self-proclaimed genius that he can’t even do basic cooking,” Xiari had taunted Kyuhyun back then.

Kyuhyun, never one to back down from such a direct challenge, immediately began trying to learn how to cook.

(Hankyung had called Xiari once he heard from Kyuhyun about the challenge. “Are you trying to get your apartment building burned down, woman?!” Hankyung hadn’t even bothered to say “hello” when Xiari answered his call.

“He needs to learn how to cook! I’m happy to help, of course, but what would he do if I’m away? Besides, he’s Cho Kyuhyun! I’m sure a genius like him will be able to learn!” Xiari had retorted.

“You’re an ELF! You know a lot of things about the Super Junior members! You know that he can’t cook!”

“That’s the point of learning it.”

“Okay, you know what? You may be an ELF, but ELFs really don’t know the worst of Kyuhyun’s ‘cooking attempts’. You don’t how many times he literally destroyed Super Junior’s kitchen in the past!”

“You’re exaggerating. He can’t be that bad.”

“…Just be prepared to evacuate the building.”)

Since the challenge, Kyuhyun had been doing his best to cook something—anything!—edible. He had researched recipes, bought cook books, and even got a copy of Cooking for Dummies (not that a genius like him could ever be a dummy, of course *haughty sniff*).

As Kyuhyun now threw the pot with the “sauce” away, he was more determined than ever to prove to Xiari that he could learn how to cook.

He was an evil genius! He can learn anything!

(Illusions are such a comfort sometimes.)

How hard could simple fried chicken be?

That’s what Kyuhyun was thinking when he shopped for two dozen pieces of filleted chicken. Two dozen because it was always good to have extra in case something goes wrong. Or lots of extras, really, if it’s Kyuhyun cooking that we’re talking about.

And, apparently, fried chicken is hard.

And the many extras proved to be useful and necessary.

Because Kyuhyun somehow managed to char the ones that he cooked during his first few tries. No exaggeration: they were literally charcoal black!

Kyuhyun kept trying, though.

And kept ending up wasting perfectly good chicken fillet.

The good news is that with each batch, the burned quality of the result lessened more and more. When he got to cooking the last pieces, their color was actually alright. Still slightly overcooked, but no longer burned and charred.

Kyuhyun let them cool and then excitedly picked up a small piece and gave it to Minhyun.

“Taste umma’s wonderful cooking, Minhyun!” Kyuhyun grinned proudly at the baby as he gave him the food.

As with any food, Minhyun took the chicken eagerly. The one and a half year old’s eyes were bright and shining. Foooooood!

Minhyun put the chicken in his mouth.

Bit it.

And promptly open his mouth again and let the piece fall out.

“Owie!” the baby told his mother, face all crumpled and disappointed at not being able to eat the food.

Kyuhyun was just confused. “’Owie’? Why would eating chicken make you say ouch?”

The evil maknae also took a piece for himself, put it in his mouth, bit it… and thought that he would crack his teeth.

“Ouch!” Kyuhyun spat out the hard-rock chicken, which fell to the floor with a clatter.

Okay, now, the evil maknae totally understood his son’s reaction! The chicken was too hard!

“I guess I’ll just heat up the baked macaroni that Uncle Hannie left for us the other day,” Kyuhyun sighed to Minhyun.

Yet another failed attempt at cooking by the evil maknae.

One night, Xiari and Lin had just stepped out of their apartment to go to the movies. Xiari had just closed the door, though, when Kyuhyun’s front door burst open, and the maknae came running out with Minhyun in his arms.

Smoke was coming out the apartment, and the smoke detectors were making alarm sounds, and water was being sprinkled all over the apartment.

“What’s going on?!” Xiari shouted, alarmed and grabbing her daughter, ready to run down the building. “Is there a fire?!”

“No, not really, my pot roast burned. There’s a lot of smoke coming from the oven, and it triggered the smoke det