I cover my mouth to not make a sound when I hold up my phone, filming the silly smile on Taemin’s face. He is wearing a white surgical mask on his chin, something he used at the airport and his face looks pale without makeup, yet somehow he has never looked as evil as he is now, his back bent and his whole body showing how thrilled he is, almost choking on the laughter he too is trying to hold back. “Ssssh,” he tells me and waves a hand for me. Quietly I laugh, keeping the phone focused on him. “You’re the one making sounds,” I point out. He makes a face with every muscle he has when holding back his laughter and I squat down to not go insane from his behaviour. Taemin is standing next to a sofa backstage at Osaka Dome, and lying on the side in the sofa is Kai, sleeping quietly without having any idea what we are up to, which is why it is such a difficult thing to hold back our laughter. His head is on the armrest, his arms crossed over the side of the sofa and tall legs folded like a child’s and I am almost jumping at the thrilled emotion in me when Taemin holds out his hands to calm himself, slowly moving one hand to Kai’s head. My mouth is open but no sound comes out of me as I am trying to focus the filming on my two friends. The hairpin held between Taemin’s fingers is carefully put on Kai’s hair before Taemin looks up at me with the funniest face-expression, causing me to make a sound and Taemin’s whole face is laughing without a sound before he moves his hands for me to be quiet. He picks up another pin to put on Kai’s hair and I too step forward, continuing to film because Taemin asked me to capture Kai’s reaction when he wakes up, but I too want to put hairpins on him. Just as I am about to put the pin on him, Kai moves and I literally jumps two feet away, nervously laughing while Taemin just froze bent over Kai’s head. Kai doesn’t seem to wake up but he puts his hand on his head as if something in itching, and I hold my breath with a smile when he touches the hairpin. “What the…” I squeal when Kai sits up, pulling the hairpin away and Taemin throws the other hairpins on him with a loud laugh, feeling more than satisfied and the second I see Kai understanding what Taemin has done, I start to run. “YA!” Kai shouts and I hear Taemin runs after me out of the room. “Run, run, run, run, run,” Taemin laughs and touches my arm to make me run faster. I turn around to see where Kai went as I can’t hear him, if he isn’t running after us I could stop running, but turning around he is actually right behind us and I find myself screaming loudly at the sight of him so close. For me, I do the same thing I did when running away from our crew at the arena tour; I throw myself against the wall, pretty certain I am not the one he’s after, but Taemin held on to my arm so when I stop, he does too and Kai runs right into him. Falling down on the floor, all three of us are laughing. “Not cool, not cool at all,” Kai says while pressing Taemin’s body down on the floor with his palms. The best part about being the third wheel with Taemin and Kai is that the two of them are so worked up in each other that I am just laughing next to them. “She filmed it all,” Taemin laughs and points at me. “What?” I gasp. “You- Ya!” I laugh when Kai sits on Taemin and with both his hands tries to take my phone. I hold it away from him, laughing and saying it was Taemin’s idea. “Delete it,” Kai tells me, pointing at the phone. He looks really cute, not really mad but neither does he want a video of what just happened. “No way!” “We’re going to upload it,” Taemin laughs. I mean, he is putting me in a bad situation here. Taemin is already pressed against the floor, Kai got him, but if he takes my phone and deletes the fun we just had… “No, we’re not,” I shake my head to Kai while constantly slapping and removing his hands from me. “We’re not uploading it- Ya, stop it!” Both Kai and Taemin are laughing when I whine but Kai continues to try taking the phone and Taemin is talking nonsense and I just whine at them both, happy I can kick my foot up to glide away from them a bit more. I laugh loudly when Taemin’s manager is slowly passing us, having a weird face-expression yet he isn’t surprised seeing us like this. Well, we are often acting like this during SM Town’s gatherings, more or less. “Hannah,” Manager Lee comes up to us too, sighing and not having a weird face-expression like Taemin’s manager. “You have rehearsals to attend.” “Sorry guys,” I giggle and hurry up on my feet, dodging Kai’s try to grab my foot. I am certain I sound too happy; “I got to go.” “Delete the video,” Kai warns, pointing over at me. “Are you leaving me like this?” Taemin laughs against the floor. I am laughing when jogging away from them, Manager Lee going with me but I jog past him to get away from the laughing friends behind me. We have spent some hours at Osaka Dome for rehearsals and I have regained some energy meeting my friends again and to have Kyungho sleeping backstage from being awake early to get on the flight, it has been a good evening. Just as I spot Emelia next to the stage, not looking like we are in a hurry for rehearsals, I see her look my way but it isn’t me she is looking at. For half a second I hear the fast footsteps behind me but that half a second does not give me enough time to get to the side before evil laughter showers me with water. My scream rises as the cold water drips from my hair to my clothes, reaching my skin and it makes me shudder all over when turning around to see Kai holding up his arm above me, a bottle of water in his grip. “WHAT!” I burst out before I throw myself over the bottle to turn it over, unable to get a full sentence out of me. Kai is laughing and further away Taemin looks to be overjoyed, but out of nowhere a pale skinny arm butts in and throws water from a full bottle, waving the bottle to throw the water all the way over at Taemin before turning it over to let the water flow out on Kai. “What exactly do you silly little creeps think you’re doing?” Emelia’s deep voice sounds threatening next to us, following Kai when he backs away to not be the target of Emelia’s bottle – she keeps it over him. “Pouring water on an unprepared target, from behind on top of it all? That’s too low.” “But-” “I’m right so shut up and learn from it,” Emelia cuts Kai off and she hits him with the empty bottle on his head, lightly. I can’t help but to laugh at it, mostly because she just called me a target, but also that she is lecturing them the same way she lectures Kyungho at times. “Upload the video, Hannah,” Taemin laughs from his distance. My laugh is loud as he still mentions that, and I hit Kai on the arm before I head to the stage, my hair wet and dripping and Emelia smirking as I hear she gives Kai a good pat. I give her a glare when she follows me. “What?” Emelia happily asks. “Did you just pat him?” I wonder, glancing back at Taemin laughing at Kai’s wet head. “I got no idea what you’re talking about,” Emelia chuckles. She then puts her hand on my own wet head. “Nice going, by the way.” While we begin our rehearsals I am determined to give back at Kai and Taemin; Kai for pouring water over my head and Taemin for being the evil friend he is. Maybe on Sunday I can do it with Kyungho while we’re filming Good Sister, or I’ll just do it when I find a good opportunity. Rehearsals are alright, it is everything else that is on our minds. Meeting our friends, seniors and colleagues are the highlight of the day, and though I go around being friendly and overly close with my friends during the day, there is this special someone whose face is lurking around at the back of my mind the whole day, even during rehearsals. After wrapping up the day’s rehearsals everyone is going to the hotel, or most people are heading out to eat or meet friends, or get a massage as Carolina and some members of SNSD are going to do. For me, Emelia and Kyungho we are going to get something to eat, with Jonghyun, f(x)’s Krystal, Ana and EXO’s Suho and Chanyeol. A bunch of close friends going out for some meat and with Kyungho tagging along I am not surprised he is mostly quietly eating. I don’t think he wants to go to the hotel, he is just having a celebrity crush on Ana, and finds Chanyeol’s voice loud, and I guess our conversations are mostly about things he is too young to understand. For me, I love every second of it. I have Jonghyun on one side and Kyungho on the other by the dining table but most of the time I am chatting with Soojung (Krystal) across the table, the girl I rarely talk to but for these two hours can’t stop talking to about pretty much nothing but at the same time everything. It’s a joy talking to her, holding on to Jonghyun’s hand and seeing Soojung smile, its lovely being back with SM Town. Or am I just overjoyed because Jonghyun is here? It’s hard to tell. Two hours is a long time though, and the last half hour we have four different managers calling our phones asking if we are at the hotel, sleeping for tomorrow’s concert. It is funny seeing Suho’s phone ring at the same time as Ana’s, followed by Krystal’s and Jonghyun’s. No one calls Emelia or me, but we only understand after Jonghyun is called as he says his manager calls for our manager too, asking us to not stay out for too long as it seems a lot of our friends are currently being a bit tipsy heading home. No one calls Kyungho either, but I guess his manager trusts us enough and maybe already is asleep in the hotel room, not waiting up for the young boy to come back. Even after all those phone calls we can’t seem to be in a hurry to go back, it takes twenty minutes before we even mention that we should start head back. I think staying out a bit longer is easier because Kyungho slept during the day so he doesn’t seem tired; making me forget it is after his bedtime. Kyungho don’t mind, he even covers my watch when I point it out for him. The air is still humid and warm from the day’s hot sun, but I still find it was a good choice going with jeans shorts and a long-sleeved top with a wide v-neck so wearing a tank top underneath is a bit too warm but keeps my bra invisible and I wear knee-high socks to my sneakers. Coming outside, Soojung turns around while throwing her hair over her shoulder, meeting my eyes just briefly. “Is what you talked to Jonghyun about going to happen?” she asks me. I smile as it is the first thing she asks me once we step outside. Krystal is rarely the one being first out of a restaurant, but I guess she was fast today because everyone else seems to be extra slow. For me, I’m always out fast. “Which part?” I ask Soojung as we have been talking a lot at the restaurant, and she smiles back at me. “The whole … you and him together publicly announcing you’re back together,” Soojung says and a grimace reaches her face when she says it, glancing at me, “You’re actually going to let your fans know you’re in a relationship again?” Based on her face-expression she can’t understand the words she speaks, a topic Jonghyun and I have exchanged during the day. I look behind me at the restaurant’s doors, seeing Suho boasting to Kyungho that he is paying, while Emelia is standing behind Suho waving her own card – our agency’s card, actually – and I smile back at Soojung when we start walking to the side to wait for them. “I don’t know, actually,” I tell her. “It’s better saying it ourselves than having articles spreading things again.” “Hmm,” Soojung looks to be wondering. I nod for her at my own words. “It is better,” I assure her. “Telling our fans ourselves means a lot more than having them read it in a scandal magazine or something. … Right?” In my head I have it all figured out, Jonghyun and I revealing we are back together and our fans will have mixed emotions about it but feel happy we decided to tell them, as I remember last time when everyone found out we were a couple it did not go well. “I wouldn’t know,” Soojung smiles though and her shrug on the shoulder makes me laugh. “You wouldn’t know,” I repeat her words with a laugh and Soojung laugh too, touching my arm. “Hey, I wouldn’t know,” she reassures me but with our laughs I don’t really believe her. Not many idols have had scandals or being caught with a boyfriend, Soojung is one of those many still not having that while I am the one who makes people laugh with the amount of scandals I have had in the past. We are smiling like two silly friends when I turn around to see Ana and Jonghyun come out from the restaurant, talking about mothers, I think. It reminds me of Jonghyun’s mother, the woman I will have to face and talk to now when I have gotten back together with Jonghyun. She has always been a bit hard to approach, but … I’ll have to do it. Automatically when Ana and Jonghyun comes up to us our conversation ends, my arms are lightly held out so when Jonghyun stands next to me my arms are around his waist and he puts his arm around my shoulders. He smells divine of cologne and Kim Jonghyun and my head falls against his chest, resting comfortably. “Are we taking a cab?” Ana quietly asks, glancing around us. “We could always walk,” I suggest. Jonghyun’s chest moves when he chuckles but it is Soojung’s laugh that makes us laugh too. “Not walk,” Soojung grimaces, “I do not want to walk.” “I can walk,” Jonghyun groans when stretching back, adding more determined in his tone; “I could use that, and Soojung could need it too. Let’s all take a walk back to the hotel.” “I’m not walking,” Soojung repeats and she points a finger at me for coming up with the idea and I am just laughing, trying to back behind Jonghyun to say I am completely innocent while Jonghyun hugs on to me too tight for me to hide. “Hannah is too tired to walk away, right? And Ana doesn’t want to walk either.” “I don’t mind walking,” Ana innocently smiles. Jonghyun cheers and gives her a high-five. We hear Chanyeol open the door to the restaurant, his voice loud talking to the other friends inside and I feel my pocket vibrate from a phone call. I look down when using both my injured hands to pick up the phone as safely as I possibly can and I see Manager Kawayama’s name written on the caller ID. Without hesitation I answer the call in Japanese while kind of hiding against Jonghyun to try keeps the call private, and in response I hear our female Japanese manager sigh. “How come only Carolina is back at the hotel when we told all of you to be back at this hour? Do you not have a working clock around you?” she asks me, sounding tired and I think I can hear her yawn. Our managers had given us a time to be home, something I heard several other idols did, like Ana who is underage for example. “I know, I know, we are on our way,” I tell her in Japanese. “You are on your way, well that’s good, but you are supposed to be here already,” Manager Kawayama sighs anew, “Emelia is with you, right? She is not with the others and she is not picking up so she better be with you or-” “She is with me,” I answer and lean my head back to look over at the door where Emelia is seen talking to the old woman behind the counter. Based on Kyungho’s look, the boy standing next to Emelia with such a smile, I think he has just been praised or complimented by the old woman. “Oh, that’s hilarious.” Manager Kawayama doesn’t just sound tired, she sounds pretty angry. “So you are there with her but she won’t answer my calls. Get back to the hotel. I’m waiting.” Hanging up, I glance up to see Jonghyun look at me and I am pouting at him. “Evil manager?” he asks. “Angry manager,” I mutter, glancing over at Emelia surely chatting with the old woman for long. “Manager Kawayama is angry because Emelia didn’t answer her calls, or … something. We’ve got to hurry back.” “Or,” Jonghyun whispers, taking the phone from my hand with a delicate touch, “We can take a very comfortably and relaxing and friendly walk through Osaka back to the hotel.” How could I possibly have survived spending half a year without this gorgeous man? “Um,” Ana leans over, tapping Jonghyun’s arm to get our attention and she smiles cutely when both Jonghyun and I look at her, “Hi, sorry for interrupting your very nice moment there but … I haven’t said this, but, I’m very happy, for you two, that you are back, you know, together.” Her finger keeps moving and I am smiling seeing how nervous she is to say this to us, “Very happy.” “You have told me that,” Jonghyun proudly tells her. I give Jonghyun a glare, I’m not sure why but I still do it. “Has anyone called a cab?” Suho asks when stepping up to us, Emelia is the last one to leave the restaurant. “We’re walking,” Ana is fast to say and Soojung gives out a cry. I want to high-five her for saying we are walking but that means I have to lean away from Jonghyun, so I just smile widely. “Walking?” Chanyeol sounds amused. “I’m not walking,” Soojung shakes her head. I let them have their discussion even if I was the one mentioning walking first, and instead I focus on putting back my phone from Jonghyun’s hand in to my pocket. “I’m with Soojung on this one,” Emelia nods at Soojung while checking her phone, “I’m not walking. We’ve got a concert to do tomorrow and this kid needs to go to bed.” It takes a few seconds but eventually Kyungho looks up at her with a surprised look. “Me? I can walk. I’m not tired at all,” he says and he looks over at me, making me look at the others. “Nuna!” “So it is just the two of us walking then,” Jonghyun smiles happily, his arm wrapped around me again. “And … me,” Ana raises her hand, hesitating when glancing around at us. I am genuinely happy to have Ana here and I agree that the three of us can use a walk. And Kyungho is definitely not coming along. “Our manager has called me three times,” Emelia sighs and waves her phone at me, “Did she call you?” “The angry manager,” Jonghyun is fast to say before I get the chance. Emelia chuckles at his confirmation I have talked to Manager Kawayama. “We are all taking a cab,” I point out, hearing Soojung cheer and Ana complain, and Jonghyun sighs. “O-kay, eight people for a cab,” Suho quietly says when dialling a number, then he hands Emelia his phone with a sweet smile. “Please make the call.” I sigh too when my fingers are touching the hem of my sleeve, only because I thought it was the hem of my sleeve but realises it is the extra bandage I put on earlier today as my hand was hurting from signing our single earlier today. My injuries on the left hand were hurting so I have been advised to use bandage if possible, just in case. And it seems it has loosened. Emelia steps away to make the call without having anyone’s talk annoy her, and it seems like our friends are as talkative as they were at the restaurant. Ana is pouting at me though, not noticing I hold my hands together to try putting the bandage in place, hiding my hands in my sleeves. “We’re not walking?” she asks. It seems she was really looking forward to that. “Sorry,” I grimace at her. “Yeah,” Jonghyun sighs, his arms drop from my shoulders so his hands can turn me to face him. “I would love to take a walk though. It’s not often we get a chance like this.” His hands touches mine and the second I realise he noticed what I was doing with the bandage, I am fast to put both my hands behind my back and I smile up at him. “I’ll fix it at the hotel,” I cutely say to him. Jonghyun smiles back at me and touch my chin briefly, his eyes focused on mine. He is wearing a black loose t-shirt and y ripped jeans, and though he is in a pink cap his face comes off manly and serious when his hand takes a hold of my arm, putting out my left hand for him. I don’t mind, it’s just strange, and I keep my eyes on his face when he starts focusing on fixing my bandage. “I don’t think you know what you’re doing,” I whisper to him, aware that we are having a moment again while our friends are talking. I love our moments, no matter how silly it look for others. “I don’t know a thing of what I’m doing,” Jonghyun admits when breathing in, a frown appears between his eyebrows. “Is this too tight?” “No,” I giggle. He said it is not often we get a chance like this, so with a pout I wait for him to finish struggling with the bandage – I love his try but I don’t think he knows anything about putting on bandage – before I say we can take that walk after all. Not that I think my words matter as the look on Jonghyun’s face says he had already decided we are walking to the hotel. Typical. Kyungho is upset though because he wants to walk with us but Emelia is right about having him put in bed sooner than the rest of us, and Ana is overjoyed to not crowd inside a van to head to the hotel but instead use her legs to walk the twenty minutes it should take to reach the hotel. With one arm linked with Jonghyun and on my other side having the young Ana, the three of us are walking on the light-up streets of Osaka. It’s nice. It’s so incredibly nice. Jonghyun and Ana are close, so we are three close friends walking and the short Ana makes me energetic because she is talking and smiling and taking notice of things on the streets that I am too distracted (by Jonghyun) to do myself. It is strange to just jump back into a relationship even if it is with Jonghyun, I love it a lot, yet I am feeling a bit awkward from time to time, as if we are pretending in public the past six months haven’t existed. We have talked online quite a lot recently, him being in Korea and I’m being in Japan so I know we are on the same page but to walk outside on a street with our arms linked … I haven’t done that in a long, long time. Deciding to take a walk to the hotel was a great decision. We chat the whole time all three of us, just random talking about Osaka and the stores we pass by and stories we want to share, it seems like the night is perfect. Beside from when we come back to the hotel. Manager Kawayama is waiting on the floor where Ana and I have our rooms; Jonghyun got off the elevator already so he doesn’t see the dark bags under my manager’s eyes, her black hair messy as if she has been rubbing it against the wall waiting for us, and she is wearing a bathrobe from the hotel, maybe to cover up her nightclothes underneath. All of that is just the cherry on top of the cake that is her face-expression, and I grimace when Ana grabs my arm, as if we are going to be attacked. “What time is it?” Manager Kawayama asks me in a dark tone. I don’t get it though. Why is my manager here but not Ana’s? “It’s not that late…” I quietly answer. “It’s-” Manager Kawayama stops herself from repeating my answer, and she takes a deep breath to calm hersel