The evening continues with more games outdoor after doing the dishes after dinner, the sky grows darker and we keep glancing at the time. We ladies have a really early morning coming up, but we are still waiting for Julia to go inside her bedroom. The time finally comes when we decide to pack up and go to bed, just because we’ve got work in the morning. We head inside the second house to leave the rest of the dishes, and to keep an eye on Julia. I am bouncing towards Maria when seeing Julia head towards her room; the door closed which it never is. Julia doesn’t seem to notice though. Emelia and I lean back to see Julia open her door, Kyungho stops to look what has our attention and Maria asks what’s wrong with me as I was bouncing towards her in excitement. “Wah!” Julia gasps, stopping halfway through the door, really freezing by the door with her hand on the handle. She leans in to look around before taking a step back in confusion. “What…” She glances behind her and sees us, and Maria walks over to see what Julia sees. “WHAT THE HECK!” Maria gapes and walks inside the room. Julia walks inside too. I squeal to Emelia who is the first one to start laughing. We all go to look, and it is hilarious hearing everyone’s reaction. Julia’s room is covered in empty post-it notes. On her chair, desk, bed, the wall, even the window, her books, everything in the room is covered. Julia just laughs, and she laughs more and more when pointing at the window. Only one note has something written on it, Emelia had written ‘happy birthday, friend’. “Who is going to remove all of this?” Julia suddenly asks after laughing for a long time. “You are,” Emelia laughs and points at Julia. Maria is the first one out the room, and the rest of us are pretty fast to leave the room too. “Good night!” “See you in the morning!” we say, leaving. “Ya, you’re kidding right?” Julia forces herself to laugh. Emelia guides Kyungho for him to leave too and the funny thing is that we are actually leaving Julia to handle it on her own. Mi Young has already left, missing the prank but Ana is still here, she even ran past Maria to not get left behind. We are laughing when reaching our house; Carolina ran inside her room next to Julia’s and the rest of us are talking about brushing out teeth and going to bed. Maria goes out to send Ana off, Emelia goes to use the bathroom downstairs and Kyungho head upstairs to wash up there, and I breathe out when glancing at the camera-woman filming me. Without a word I go back to the other house. It’s quiet now when all the cameras have left, beside from the one filming Julia in her room removing the post-it notes from the bed. “I’ll help you,” I offer quietly and start removing the post-it notes carefully. “It was Emelia’s idea, wasn’t it?” Julia chuckles. She seems to enjoy it though she has to clean it up. “Yeah…” “When did you have time to do it though?” Julia asks, she sounds like she has been thinking it during the minutes she has been alone. “After dinner,” I answer with a smile at her. We talk while removing the post-it notes and Carolina glances in to see who Julia is talking to, but she doesn’t help out, instead she says she is going to bed. We don’t remove everything, just a bit of it before I go back to the other house to wash up and say goodnight to Kyungho, then I go to bed too. This summer we have released our second Japanese album, but for the arena tour we are performing some songs that haven’t been released as Japanese songs yet, so our 10th Japanese single is in the making to be released very soon. We recorded the Japanese versions of [POWER UP] and [I Want a Man] when preparing the album and since we have been performing those songs on the arena tour, there is really nothing for us to prepare other than the outfits – so in the morning, we get ready to film the PV for [I Want a Man] (Japanese Version). We get up early to get hair and makeup done at the saloon; Kyungho knows he will be alone at the house in the morning with the camera crew to be picked up by his manager later when he will head to work. Then the cameras will leave our home as this week’s filming is done. But as 5 Pieces we don’t get rid of the cameras. During the first day filming the promotional video we have a camera filming the making-of and a photographer. I don’t see neither one that much during the day, not even when we bring out a cake for Julia as it today is her birthday. We bring out the cake but barely get to eat it because we return to film. As my hands are injured Doctor Song is with us. She removed the bandage but put on new plaster to keep my injury safe from infections, then we have to work well with the director to not make my injury visible for the video. And the great weather we had yesterday? “You should never challenge the weather,” Mi Young tells us while fixing Emelia’s eye makeup. “Who challenged the weather?” I ask. “There is no such thing as ‘challenge the weather’,” Maria scoffs. “Yesterday, you all complained about it being hot,” Mi Young answers my question. “I didn’t,” Maria corrects her and Mi Young points at me and Emelia instead. “Challenge the weather, and this happens.” The rain has been pouring down all day. Our idea to spend the breaks from filming outdoor in the hot summer weather is completely pushed out of our heads by the heavy rain falling down. It’s still hot without the sun shining, but it is still raining and humid so we are not even allowed outside as it would ruin something, according to our stylists. I nod to our stylist’s words while Maria laughs, shaking her head. “It doesn’t work that way,” Maria says. “Often, it works that way,” Mi Young tells her and again I am nodding. “It’s like… saying it will rain if you kill a spider,” Maria comments and I am almost nodding my head before thinking of what she means. “Who would ever say such a thing?” Mi Young grimaces though, finding it silly and I start grimacing. “You don’t know of that saying?” Emelia looks surprised, opening her eyes just to have Mi Young slap her arm to close them again. “No. It’s a Swedish thing?” “I guess,” Maria shrug her shoulder, “I heard it throughout my whole childhood. Hannah says it at times now too.” This time I shake my head. “I haven’t said it in years,” I point out. Maria grimaces at me but I keep shaking my head. We all grew up hearing that if you kill a spider, it will rain the next day, but I haven’t said it much to the ladies, I think. “Anyway, you haven’t heard it before?” Maria turns to Mi Young, ignoring that I am shaking my head. “No,” Mi Young shakes her head too, focusing on Emelia. “EM, hold your head still or I might poke your nose.” The promotional video for [I Want a Man] is different from the Korean version, instead of creating a vintage club environment where we have a pool table and a lot of people sitting around the small tables, this video will not have a story behind it. Today we have filmed solo parts, and the group shot we will finish with today is taken place at an ice cream bar set up. We sit next to each other by the bar on round high chairs, the set colourful and our clothes matching in high-waist shorts, fitting tank top and colourful suspenders. Our outfits for the video are inspired from the Korean version while the idea of the video is not, it will look different but hopefully still be good. Tomorrow we are not shooting the promotional video but we will do the jacket shoot for the single before heading to Japan for the Hiroshima concert and other schedules. It’s late in the evening when I check my phone waiting for Jonghyun to answer the text message I have sent him. After a week, I am able to use my phone again, to look through Instagram and update myself with the media and everything else. I haven’t used Instagram in a week so when looking through all the comments of fans wishing me to be well and saying they miss me I kind of understand them. It is an addiction; social medias, which is why I have been looking over my members’ shoulders when they have been looking on their social medias. I decide to not update anything tonight and maybe not tomorrow either but the day after when we are in Hiroshima I can probably upload something. I would’ve uploaded a picture to celebrate Julia’s birthday but I joined in on Emelia’s picture, so I don’t upload anything myself. I am sitting next to Carolina when looking through the recent articles about my injury, mostly because the fans commenting on SNS have been bringing it up, asking how I’m doing and wishing for me to be well. The worst thing about articles is the comments written. Quietly I read the comments with sadness as my fans are angry for what happened, they are blaming the staff for not noticing someone bringing crushed glass to the concert venue where I performed and pitying me. I don’t like that they pity me, but I hate that they are putting the blame on the staff. I must see it from a different point of view. SM Entertainment said we will bring this matter to the court and some comments are too harsh. Not too the girl, but to me, for not letting the girl apologize for what she did. They do realise she threw glass on the stage with the will and need to hurt me? Yet, as I read and read, I get so angry that when Julia is putting on her slippers in front of me and asks if we are ready to leave, I glare up at her. “These people are awful!” I tell her. “You’re not supposed to read those things!” Maria calls out from a distance. “Ya, do you know what they are saying?” I ask, showing my anger in tone and the words I use. “They say we are taking it too far by bringing in the police and-” “Don’t read it then,” Julia repeats what Maria said and snatches the phone from me. I pout up at her. “And they are blaming the staff for letting her enter the concert with-” “When are we leaving in the morning?” Carolina asks next to me, interrupting me without the intention as she is into her phone but when our eyes meet I still give her a glare. “Keep going, I don’t want to interrupt…” “Hannah, stop thinking of it,” Julia tells me and lightly hits my head with the phone. “We’ve got other things to think of.” “Like what?” I mutter, pouting to Julia again. “Like that we’ve got a month left of the arena tour and I got no idea of what we are talking about with the fans,” Julia answers with a face-expression she is really worried. “We’ve got a month left of the tour and … and I have to do something special to impressive them with my Japanese.” With my phone back in hand I put it in my pocket, hearing Maria say in Japanese that Julia doesn’t have impressive Japanese. A smile hits my face right away. “I still understand what you say,” Julia says in an upset tone to Maria. Maria’s simple Japanese is easy to understand, at least when her words makes sense. After a few minutes we head home to sleep. In the van we are loudly chatting about Japan and the new single, and also about what to eat for breakfast in the morning. And I am sitting with my phone. I can’t shake the anger out of me from what is being said, it has reached my nerves and I don’t have the will to turn blind eye. Mostly because I saw the whole thing from a different point of view, I remember the anger I had felt after hurting my hands, how angry I was at the girl for not thinking through her actions. Therefore, I write on Twitter. {Twitter, 5P_HANNAH: With the recent event that occurred I have not spoken here for over a week but suddenly I felt frustrated reading comments when we will ask for an individual to take responsibility of her actions. I do not find myself silly for taking this as seriously as I do, in fact I am furious seeing comments saying it was the staff’s fault for not noticing anything and that I should not be so hard on this young girl. Are those words real? Are your hearts speaking correctly when you write that in the comment’s field? Is that truly how you feel and see this? What I saw was completely different. What I saw was a girl not thinking at all when wanting to hurt me. She didn’t think of the consequences or care of others for what could have actually happen. If anything, I am happy I was the one who fell, as I remember seeing my dancers struggle when their feet were gliding on the glass, not knowing what it was. I got furious after realising what had happened because what if one of my dancers had fallen? What if her thoughtless action had hurt someone who has nothing to do with her dislike towards me? Or what if we hadn’t noticed the glass and the next performer had fallen, getting hurt? ‘What if’ can be used to create scenes that has haunted me this past week and reading the comments blaming anyone else than this girl whose intentions was to hurt someone is not right. Her actions were wrong and she should take responsibility for that. I do not wish for everyone to like me or what I do, dislike is alright with me as long as you keep it to yourself. Thoughtlessly doing things that can injure others is not alright and it should not be treated lightly.} I upload it before I can regret it and then I glance up at Maria who is sitting next to me. “I let out my frustration on twitter,” I whisper to her. Maria doesn’t look up from her tablet, watching some series. “Not anything bad, I hope?” she mentions. After hesitatingly looking at my long tweet I put my phone for Maria to see it if she wants. She starts to read it. I look at her to see what she thinks, at first she is starting to smile, and the smile grows, it makes me think it is alright. Maria finishes reading with a nod. “It’s great,” she says and smiles at me. “But you have to delete it.” The little satisfaction that I did something good leaves me by Maria’s words and I am pouting at my phone. “I love it,” Maria continues to say, “It shows that you take no bull when it comes to hurting others and I love that, but the police did tell us to not talk about this to the media just because it will be brought to court.” Ah right… That’s why my ladies have been telling me to ignore the comments. We’re not supposed to bring fuel to the on-going fire. The tweet has been there for everyone to see in two and a half minute when I delete it. “You should watch this one, Hannah,” Maria starts to say, showing me her tablet. She has talked a lot about it this week (as she started watching it this week). “Alfred Enoch is in it.” Though I don’t know the name, I know who she means as it is only one person in the series I recognize; he was one of the students in the Harry Potter movies. “The second season starts in September,” Maria tells me while her eyes are stuck on the tablet. It is difficult to keep up with Maria and all the series she watches. Most of them are good, I watch a lot of them with her but I honestly have no idea how she can watch so many series and not mix the stories – which I do if I watch a few different things at the same time. We get sent home and to get away from the rain we pretty much run inside. I call goodnight to Julia and Carolina before we part ways to go to our houses and when we’re inside, Ace is greeting us first. “I’m heading straight to bed,” Maria comments, her hand on my back when taking off her shoes. “To watch the rest of the episode?” I ask. Maria looks at me with small eyes. “Exactly for that reason,” she admits, liking that I knew what she was going to do. “Sleep well, ladies.” And with that, Maria head upstairs to sleep and Emelia head to the bathroom first. I head inside my bedroom; Tiger comes after me and jumps up on my bed just to fall on her back. She wants to play. I fall down next to her to pat her belly with one hand and read Jonghyun’s text message with the other. Jonghyun thought I would take the flight to Japan on Friday morning and not tomorrow evening (he thought that because I had told him that, but I learned today that tomorrow after we’re done with the jacket shoot) so when I told Jonghyun I am going tomorrow already he asked if we could meet tonight. I wanted to meet him tomorrow evening, but since I will be on a flight to Japan then, tonight will be just fine. He will come after his radio, so it isn’t much time left. I change into a beige v-neck colour-block sweater, it is long enough to not wear pants to though it isn’t a dress and with its long sleeves I do not have to care about hiding my hands. It is a sweater I wore during the winter but to wear it shortly at night when it’s raining, I will do just fine. When I hear Emelia leave the bathroom I leave my room to talk to her. Emelia is wearing a tank top and underwear, looking like she is definitely ready to sleep. “You’re alright with me going out for a while then?” I quietly ask her. “Don’t bring him in, Hannah,” Emelia mutters, “I’m fine with a night visit as long as it is outside of this house because I am exhausted.” “Promise,” I nod. To not make any noise while waiting for Jonghyun I bring my phone and umbrella outside to wait there instead. Half an hour later I am still outside the house, only now I have gone inside with my phone after Jonghyun texted saying he is on his way and I am enjoying the heavy rain under my umbrella. The night is much easier to handle than the day, where the heat is too much to bear, and the rain is always a joy to stand in if you don’t have work where hair, makeup and clothes are what matters. I regret not having a clock with me out though, a watch (or my phone), because time seems to pass by way too slow waiting for him. As I start wondering if I should wait inside if he takes much longer, a car drives up on the street and I hide under the umbrella with a smile. Jonghyun parks a few meters away, turns off the engine, I hear him open the door, then close it and I hear him run through the rain. “Hi gorgeous,” Jonghyun breathes out with laughter when hurrying in under the umbrella. I laugh when he wrap one arm around me to not knock me over by the rush of getting away from the rain, he bends his knees as I had the umbrella pretty low and I keep laughing when he presses his face against my cheek – a kiss, I guess – but he presses his whole face so it is hard to tell. “Did you miss me?” Jonghyun asks, leaning back to meet my eyes. He is wearing a black hat, holding on to it with one hand as the umbrella wants to hit it off him. I smile widely at his question, mostly because I have simply written ‘I miss you’ to him a few times today – I got to use my phone today and he was the one I wrote to at first – and breathing in his cologne I know I have missed him a lot. “I missed you,” I answer. Jonghyun bites his lip when smiling at me. “I missed you too,” he says. I can’t stop staring at him; it’s absolutely amazing that he is back with me. “Should we go for a walk?” I suggest. “In this lovely weather? Sure,” Jonghyun chuckles and wraps his arm around me for us to go. “Let’s also talk about that tweet going around online that you apparently deleted…” I look up at him with a frown. He raises his eyebrows to look down at me and we are both quietly talking for awhile before I realise someone must’ve had time to copy my tweet before I deleted it. “They are fast!” I burst out and Jonghyun chuckles. “Yeah. Why did you delete it?” I lean my head towards him. “I was told to,” I simply say. It doesn’t matter who told me because Jonghyun understands what I mean. He nods. “And the reason you wrote it was…?” “I read comments online,” I start to say and I feel his chest rise as if he wants to tell me exactly what my ladies have been saying, “I know I shouldn’t but it was really frustrating, Jonghyun, they were blaming the staff and I wanted to let them know how I felt and I wrote it even if I know I shouldn’t…” But if Jonghyun knows about it, the agency should know about it and I wonder how the reaction is online too. I didn’t think anyone had actually caught what I had written. “Did you read it online?” “I read it,” Jonghyun answers. But he doesn’t say where he read it, making me grimace at him. Jonghyun laughs. “A lot of different sites have shared it and brought up what it is you are writing about. Someone even said you have all the right to be furious and that your words would share some light into oblivious people’s minds.” “But you found it silly?” I quietly point out. “No, not at all,” Jonghyun shakes his head with a smile. I keep looking at that smile. “You know me, I would’ve wanted that tweet to stay there for everyone to admire.” “You are silly,” I change my words. He just laughs at me and I am smiling back. “How has your day been like?” I wonder, wanting to change the subject so I won’t get frustrated over stupid comments again and also because Jonghyun is such a busy man with a lot of things coming up. A smirk reaches his face when I ask how his day has been like and his arm around me holds me a bit closer. “I was in the studio today,” he whispers something I already know, “I’m mean to the crew when asking to re-record a few parts, I think they will start hating me soon..” “Like usually then,” I smile at him. “Ha,” Jonghyun laughs, “Like usual, yes, I guess. I was even told today that my mood has changed; I am more determined of how I want my songs to sound like.” “You go in the studio knowing exactly what you want?” I ask. “You didn’t before?” I can feel the rain on the asphalt enter my shoes. It makes my feet cold and wet but I don’t mind as Jonghyun is walking next to me and the sound of the rain is as beautiful as he is. “I have had a few rough months,” Jonghyun honestly tells me. “You’re saying that the gifted Kim Jonghyun has had a few rough months in the studio?” I frown. He hasn’t mentioned that before. I feel him laugh thanks to the arm he has around me. “It’s hard to believe that.” Jonghyun suddenly kisses my cheek again. This time I feel his lips, not his face and I lean away with a laugh when he moves his lower lip, making me feel his teeth on my skin. “What are you doing?” I laugh at him. I squeal when the umbrella falls out of my loose grip when he removes it and Jonghyun laughs against my lips before just laughing as the rain falls on us. I grimace as the raindrops fall on my face yet I can’t stop laughing. It feels like the rain goes straight through my sweater, touching my skin underneath the same way Jonghyun’s fingers touches my neck when going under my hair. “Jonghyun!” I hiss with laughter at his cold fingers but he holds my head still in the rain. “Did you mean what you said last week?” Jonghyun asks in such a sweet tone, his eyes glimmers in the rain from what I can see and I keep laughing because of the rain hitting my eyes. “What did I say last week?” His other hand holds on to me as well and he leans in closer so his forehead almost touches mine, and I giggle when his thumbs caresses my jaw. It’s the look on his face that makes me stand still. What did I say last week for that look? “Last week, you said something to me. I am still not sure if you meant it,” Jonghyun mumbles. At first I am confuse