After finishing my schedule on Sunday I head home to wash up and calm down while we film Good Sister. Emelia has been playing with Kyungho and they have been cleaning up in the house too, meaning when I come home around nine in the evening, after washing up, I can relax. Kyungho is about to go to bed when I come home, apparently no one had told him what time it is so he prepares for bed while I wash up. After my shower I get on a pair of pyjama shorts and gray linen blend hooded pullover before I go check on Kyungho. He has already fallen asleep. Maria and I gather in the living-room with our yoga mats for some stretching and exercising. Maria has been going on yoga on Sundays for a few weeks and she seems to really like it, showing off some moves she has been taught will be good for different parts of the body and I do my usual exercises too that I do every day. It is a good way to relax and calm down your body after a long day working, and while we do it we also talk while Emelia is lying in the sofa eating chips and watching TV. As soon as I am done I lie down on the yoga mat tiredly, tapping my fingers on the floor to lure Tiger over to me. She has come and gone while we have been exercising, running around and playing with anything she finds and now she is ready to play with me when I am done with my things. When she comes close enough I pick her up and carry her to the sofa to lie down there. “Want to watch Good Sister?” Emelia asks when her show ends. The second episode of Good Sister aired earlier this evening and we have saved the episode on the box so we can watch it whenever we want, and since I had been busy meeting fans during the airing, I get to see it now instead. “Mm,” I nod at Emelia’s question though she is already looking up the episode. Lying down in the sofa I barely get to see the first five minutes of the episode before my eyes are closed. I am lying on my stomach, my feet put up on the armrest at the end of the sofa and I have my arm above my head where Tiger is lying down cuddling together. I am aware of the cameras, but at home I just want to relax so I don’t really care what I do; I don’t do anything, which is the thing, I just lie there thinking about sleeping and how tomorrow will look like. Ace steps up on my legs, walking up on my back where he lies down and I have to hold on to Tiger when she notices him as she gets jealous. I can just imagine her getting up on my back to challenge Ace and get all playful, and thanks to me watching her spot Ace I make sure that doesn’t happen because I am too tired to have them start playing. Maria makes a lot of noise when she brings her suitcase downstairs, as she will head to New York in the morning. By then Emelia has said goodnight and gone inside her bedroom, probably sitting with her tablet, maybe watching a movie. “I’m going to bed now,” Maria says when coming inside the living-room. She touches my leg. “Mm,” I answer tiredly, almost gone in dreamland. I think I can sleep in the sofa, too tired to go to bed. “Hannah, go to bed or you will fall asleep here,” Maria tells me. “Are you going early tomorrow?” I ask her. We won’t see each other for a week. “Not that early, you’ll probably leave before me,” Maria answers and she touches my leg again. “Are you going to bed?” “Mm…” I mumble and turn my head to face the backrest, my eyes won’t open. “Baby, don’t fall asleep there,” Maria warns me. I don’t answer this time and Maria says goodnight before heading upstairs. It doesn’t take more than a minute before Ace head upstairs too. I sigh, being left alone in the living-room with the TV on and Tiger sleeping with her paws on my head. I’m too tired to speak and it takes a long time before I manage to leave the sofa. I turn off the TV and the lights, makes sure the door is locked and that our pets have water in their bowls before I go inside my room with Tiger, ready to sleep. I sleep hard tonight. As soon as I fall asleep it feels like my alarm takes off to wake me up. I feel surprisingly well-rested though my body and mind do not wake up easy as I get out of bed in the morning. I just grunt to Tiger who wakes up when I get up, and she starts stretching out when I get dressed. With a sigh I sit down on my bed, blinking tiredly at Tiger lying in her bed. I check my phone too, then I close my eyes and lie down again, upset that I have to get up. Tiger jumps up on the bed once I have fallen down and I start cuddling with her, slowly waking up. She follows me to the bathroom and as soon as I am going to wash my face and brush my teeth, she jumps up on the sink to drink the water. “Ya!” I burst out when her whole head drops in under the tap, the water right away in her face and I am fast to lift her away from there. Each time I lift her down on the floor so I can wash my face, she jumps back up. She always does this; she loves water so whenever someone goes to the bathroom she wants to come along to either dip her head under the tap or try jump in the toilet. I am always wary when she is in the bathroom. I have to dry her face with a towel before leaving the bathroom. Today I wear a cotton blend sweatshirt in dark gray to feel warm and a pair of light blue ripped jeans, and I walk around barefoot as I prepare breakfast for Kyungho. He has a doctor appointment now in the morning so I will come along with him to that. His parents won’t be there as they are both working but the doctor is close to the family and since Kyungho otherwise would’ve gone alone the doctor agreed to let me come along. While making breakfast I am looking through today’s schedule again, just to make sure I know it: the doctor appointment with Kyungho is now in the morning while we film Good Sister and then I have a magazine photo shoot on my own as Kyungho go to school and the crew filming are done, and after the photo shoot I have another magazine photo shoot. It is a simple schedule but it will take the whole day to do. “Breakfast is … complete,” I comment to Tiger when I have set the table. I look at the kitten circulating around my feet. “Should we go see if he is awake?” I am not leaving Tiger alone when the food is out so I pick her up to head upstairs. Kyungho is awake, muttering that he doesn’t want to get up. He comes when I say I made breakfast so I head downstairs to wait for him. With the help of our maid we have tofu, radish kimchi and Korean salad in our fridge ready to be eaten. To that I have made vegetable omelette and mixed-grain rice. Thanks to Kyungho sleeping over for the show I think I have gotten a hang of how to make a simple traditional Korean breakfast. It is just the two of us for breakfast today. Kyungho eats as much as possible while I eat as little as possible since I will get hungry soon again anyway. We don’t rush breakfast and it is nice to sit down to eat, to talk to Kyungho without having a rush to go somewhere or being busy doing other things. He comments on it too, saying it’s nice. Milo comes when we are about to finish breakfast, followed by Emelia who heavily puts her hand on Kyungho’s head. “Don’t put it away, I’ll do that,” she says and motions at the food. She will eat too. Emelia join in the conversations as she sits down to eat, asking when we are going and asking Kyungho if he is nervous and so on. Kyungho isn’t nervous, and I know why; hospitals are like a second home for him. It is sad to know that but at the same time it is good to know he isn’t scared of going: it is a normal check-up, something he does once in a while, nothing serious and it doesn’t take too long either. We get ready after breakfast to go and each time I go to and from my bedroom I see Maria’s suitcase in the hall. When Kyungho and I are getting dressed in the hall I put a note on her suitcase; I wrote it in my room when getting my bag, a simple note writing in big letters reading ‘BE SAFE, love Hannah’ as Maria will be away for a week. “Did you bring your books?” I ask Kyungho when he comes to the hall with his backpack. “Yes,” he nods. “Your cell phone too?” His hands goes to his pockets, he stop his steps and starts looking in his bag before heading back inside. While he runs upstairs I go to Emelia’s room where my friend has sat down on the floor petting Milo. “We’re going now,” I tell her. “Mm.” “I found it,” Kyungho says as he rushes down and he comes inside Emelia’s room, lying down on the floor to try cuddle with Milo. “I will miss you, Milo.” “You won’t miss me?” Emelia asks and pats Kyungho’s head. “Nuna, I will miss you too,” he is fast to answer and crawls up to give her a hug. “Good boy,” she smirks, “Do well in school and at the hospital.” “I will,” he charmingly says. We get in the car with Kyungho’s manager to go to the hospital. Though Kyungho comes off as an expert when we are meeting his doctor and he goes through different tests all from checking his weight, taking blood sample and being put in machines, each time he gets next to me he takes my hand. He tries to make it invisible for the cameras, but I know they catch it. I honestly don’t do anything else than being there as support, I drink a yogurt when sitting outside one of the test-rooms to calm my stomach. Once all the testing are done, the doctor says things look fine from what he has seen already but they will still wait for the test results to come before they will be certain. Either way, the doctor is positive that nothing has changed so when we leave I give Kyungho a big hug to say he did well. With cameras gone and Kyungho in school I head to the photo shoot, doing my job. It’s Monday. Articles are writing about KBS, SBS, MBC and Mnet banning [New Me] for live performances for its use of language; fans are furious with their comments, asking why and angrily demanding this idiotic ban to disappear. Some seem to joke about it by writing ‘Hannah is too hot for Korea’ and things like that. I actually like the humour, it means not everyone are furious about it and it also helps me to be in a better mood than sulking about the fact that I had to change a line in my new song. In a few hours SM Entertainment will come out for media to say the line will be changed for live performances, no ban will keep my performance away from the broadcasting station. But looking at that article makes me notice a side track that leads me in on a wild discussion of comments that talk about me and Jonghyun – “Jonghyun ignored Hannah at Inkigayo!” It was noticed. And fans are not really sure how to react to it but I am surprised to see the comments. I would expect it to be put on me, for fans to say that he deserves better and that I probably did something but the comments, no matter how far I scroll down, are the same. Jonghyun shouldn’t ignore Hannah, Jonghyun better treat Hannah well, did the couple have a fight, wish it isn’t serious, Jonghyun should at least look a little happy – Jonghyun is blamed the same way I have been treated since it came out that we were a couple. Why did it turn around? What is the reason the comments are blaming him instead of me? Hannah: ‘Hi, what are you doing? ^^,’ It doesn’t take many minutes before he writes back, and it is a relief that he isn’t ignoring me that much. Jonghyun: ‘I’m working, you?’ He isn’t ignoring me but he answers shortly – he is still upset at the fight yesterday. I don’t mind that since he is at least answering. Hannah: ‘I am also working … doing a photo shoot. I have two of them today. :/ Do you have a lot of work today?’ Jonghyun: ‘Not that much, I have a meeting in the afternoon before my radio, it will be boring and boring but necessary. Is there a reason you contact me?’ I am not often the direct one, especially not on text messages. Actually, I am never direct in text messages; just like now, I write to him to ask if he has seen any comments online but I don’t find the words to bring it up, and I am not lying when my simple answer is; Hannah: ‘I just wanted to know what you’re doing ^^,’ Jonghyun: ‘Really?’ Hannah: ‘Yes, really’ Jonghyun: ‘You aren’t worried about me then? ;)’ Hannah: ‘Should I worry about you?’ Jonghyun: ‘Well… I am receiving quite some nasty comments on SNS by our fans telling me to treat you better, thought you might’ve spotted that and wanted to check up on me ;)’ He’s good. I shouldn’t be surprised because Jonghyun is always like that but I am deeply surprised and also impressed at how quickly he caught up on me. Hannah: ‘I’m sorry’ Jonghyun: ‘Me too. Don’t worry about it. And you, what’s up with the stations banning your song? It’s the first time hearing about it’ Hannah: ‘Apparently I am too y for them ;) No, that’s what Puzzle says. They think I am hinting on biuality with one tiny, tiny line and I had to record a new line yesterday, I got so mad, Jonghyun! Ugh!’ Jonghyun: ‘They don’t understand us musicians, Hannah, don’t be too hard on them. Is the new line good?’ I love talking to Jonghyun, even if it is through writing. We keep being interrupted so it takes time to receive responses because we are both working. The photo shoot is surprisingly interesting. It is one concept in two versions; the concept is white colours with a gray background and the two versions are with one in colour and one without colour. I love it. My makeup is thick but it looks natural with rouge to contour my cheeks, my hair is messy and the clothes are daring for my figure. The first outfit is a long white dress, it is loose and gorgeous for the summer, I wear black boots and a long necklace to it, extremely simple and I pose simply by holding up the front of the dress to show my legs and give the dress some shape. It isn’t the daring part; the daring part is when I get to wear some sort of sweatpants and a long-sleeve shirt that only has two buttons buttoned. The daring part is not the ed shirt but what I wear underneath – absolutely nothing. For a girl with a pretty big chest it is quite a big deal for me to not wear a bra, especially without the buttons. Raising one arm I show off my hip too, and though I come off confident in the pictures I am constantly mak