Seoul Music Awards is coming to its end, the grand award left and the final performances. Last to perform is 5 Pieces; dressed in our royal blue dresses I think we look ready when taking on the stage to perform [POWER UP]. Maria is lying on the table, starting off our performance with her flawless vocals and the audience starts cheering. There is no doubt that our song is loved, there is no hesitation that everyone in the audience has at least once moved along to the cheerful band rhythm. Our feet are light as we dance, our voices are heard perfectly in our custom-made microphones with crystal details, and the music is loud to make the whole arena enjoy the performance with us. It feels great to perform [POWER UP], to have all five of us with our dancers follow the choreography while being able to show how much we enjoy it. We look dazzling, the stage is showing all kind of colours and makes us dazzle the audience even more. This is what we do best; performing together. I’m still tired from filming the music video all week, but the music makes the blood pump through my veins and I am moving while looking out at the audience. During the chorus I can see arms following along to the choreography, everyone is enjoying it. Super Junior and EXO are standing up dancing along or jumping right below us, Carolina is showing her comfort to be on the stage by adding her adlibs and we do the performance with the comfort as if it is our own concert but with the professionalism knowing it is a music award show. The song comes to an end and we take our positions to start [I Want a Man] right away. The music begins, the audience starts screaming their lungs out, and I start singing out a tone. This is the concert version; our long opening tones are longer, Carolina and mine’s, and the audience seems to like it. We perform the song. When the first chorus begins we leave the main stage to surround the other stage, to be closer to the fans and make them enjoy it a bit closer. I smile when moving with the dancers around me, 5 Pieces are parted while heading to the centre of the extra stage to perform from there while our dancers are mostly spread out to make sure everyone is being entertained. It’s fun; it is always fun performing with 5 Pieces. I’m not nervous performing with them or having a shaky voice like when we performed [Bittersweet], it’s just fun. The difference between the two performances I have done tonight? Probably because we have performed these songs for a year, we can perform them in our sleep; we are comfortable with these songs and can perform them to reach everyone. After the performance we head straight to take our seats, as the grand award will be handed out right away. I bow on my way, to the fans and to the audience we walk by. Surprisingly I’m not sweaty, my legs are tired and I’m thirsty, but I’m not sweating – probably because it’s cold here and I’m not wearing much clothes. On the way off the stage though, Emelia catches something a fan had thrown on the stage and I hold out my hands towards those fans to get one too; a small long towel saying ‘5 Pieces’, ‘heart’ and ‘Puzzle’ on it. I thank the fans for it, and when taking my seat I spread it out on the table in front of me, those on the stage are talking about presenting the final and biggest award of the night and I take a deep breath when putting my hand on the towel and put my focus on the stage. “I wish we could’ve performed three songs,” Julia breathes out next to me, fanning the information card against her neck. “That was too fun to have that short.” We always wish for more time on the stage, we always have fun performing together, so I just nod and tell her I agree. It is an actress I have seen many times before presenting the award along with an older man I don’t know, but the actress I am certain I have admired sometime – just now I can’t remember. I never seem to remember the people presenting the awards, which isn’t very kind of me. Emelia puts the towel around her neck while listening to the presenters talk about fans and singers, and she is nodding for something they say. Before the presenters even have opened the envelope that says who will receive the biggest award of the night, the fans start screaming. Names are screamed, EXO is what I hear the most and at the same time as I imitate their way to shout EXO, Taemin does the same and I point at him laughing. He leans over the table to give me a high-five as he saw it too. “2014 KBS Seoul Music Awards, Daesang,” the actress nicely reads out and looks at the audience. I am already getting ready to stand up and shout EXO. “5 Pieces!” Since my legs were ready to stand up, I stand up. But not with the excitement ready to shout out our junior’s name, instead I hesitate a bit, clapping my hands and look at my members. Maria stands up excitedly, wrapping her arm around me and waves for the others to come too. We messily hug on to each other happily and I hear Emelia say that she will start to cry if this isn’t a dream. It’s not a dream. When getting out of the hug, Eunhyuk and Donghae are applauding next to us, congratulating 5 Pieces for winning the grand award at Seoul Music Awards. I must be in shock because Taemin is laughing in my ear when giving me a hug. “Power up now, lady,” he teases and gets out of the hug to give Emelia a high-ten. Julia links her arm with me, but as soon as we start walking she unlinks us to be congratulated by EXO on the way. I take a step back to reach for the towel I got from Puzzle, and when getting behind Julia I smile up at the wolves. I give high fives and a light hug, and when I have passed EXO I turn around to give a bow before following the others up on the stage. Julia waits by the stairs for me and again our arms are linked when we walk up. Carolina is last, Emelia comes after us, and Maria is right in front of us. Maria accepts the award, Julia receives the flowers and we all shake hands with the presenters before standing in a line next to each other by the microphone. Maria like always takes the word first, holding the award with both hands and for me, I unfold the towel to show it hanging in both my hands for everyone to see what is reads. “First of all I want to thank everyone for all the love you have given to our Girls Power album and promotions in 2014,” Maria starts off saying. “It was been another wonderful year for us and thank you … really thank you for this … the Daesang award. We would like to thank our Lee Sooman teacher, the staff at SM Entertainment, Hyekyung Oppa and Pete Oppa, Ji Hwa Unnie, a big thanks to Janetta, Katharine and Kade for cooking up the most fun and exciting choreographies and for working so hard with us, our dancing crew and the band that makes more than half of our performance… There are also our stylists that always make us look so dazzling good and our managers… Our families! I love our families, those living far away in Sweden and those living here in Korea. I promise we will continue to love working as 5 Pieces, therefore I want to thank the ladies for being so incredible  weird and I want to send kisses and roses filled with love to our incredible fans all across the world; Puzzle!” The arena is roaring at her words and Julia raises my hand to shake the towel I have. “I love you all,” Maria calmly says before pushing me forward. “Oh,” I say at the surprise to suddenly get the word. I blink out, gaping, for at least two seconds before swallowing and taking the word; “I want to thank Puzzle, for this award. And for you all to know that though it is 5 Pieces receiving it, 5 Pieces can’t be completed without the puzzle holding us together, alright? So we receive this award together, thank you for that. I also want to thank Kyung Ho, and our seniors and juniors at SM Town. Puzzle, let’s continue to show our power in the future. Thank you.” I bow politely before taking a step to the side, having Maria switching the award for the towel with me while Julia takes the word. She say some things in Chinese that I don’t know what it means, then she thanks her family and fans in Swedish before adding in Korean that she loves 5 Pieces and Puzzle, and then moves it on for Carolina who starts giving this long speech about our different promotions in 2014, her solo debut and thanking 5 Pieces for the support and Puzzle for the love and so on. Emelia smirks when it is her turn. “We will promote a lot abroad this year so thank you all so much for 2014 where we got to spend a lot of time with our Korean fans and bond some more with you,” she takes a pause as fans are sounding disappointed we won’t promote in Korea much this year, then she continues; “we won’t be gone for long, you can always spot us a little everywhere and let’s just look forward to 5 Pieces’ next single or album. I also want to add that Hannah’s album will come out soon so please look forward to NEW ME-” I cover my face at the mention of my album, just briefly. “And don’t forget to keep loving each other and 5 Pieces! Xiexie, thank you! We will continue to strive for being the best pieces of your puzzle so keep looking out for us in the future! We are pieces of one-” “5 PIECES, thank you!” we say in choir and automatically bow down politely. Our speech has ended and I hurries over to Emelia to embrace her in a shy manner when the three hosts steps in front of us to say the final words, I am shy because she mentioned my album in the speech and I want to cry because all of a sudden I want to be with the ladies and not go solo. Emelia embraces me happily and Julia comments behind us that we have to get our microphones for the encore. We go get our microphones on the side and when heading out on the extra stage the music starts to play – [POWER UP]. We do get to perform a third song tonight. *Somewhere walking down the street tonight* Maria starts to sing at the back, a hand held up in the air as if making sure the cameras know where she is. *There is a girl! You can’t deny – Come on and give it a try – Let’s see if you caaaaaan-* “Let’s see if you can!” Emelia screams out. *Keep these ladies down…* Maria finishes in a low tone, squatting down while looking at the fans on her right, going crazy at her seducing them. The other artists are starting to bounce and dance when the rhythm hits and I am bowing and waving to the audience. When I turn around, Taemin is right next to the extra stage, pumping his fists in the air enjoying the song. I imitate him and walks on, making him laugh as he probably expected to get a high-five at least, but before I can turn back Emelia passes by me while singing to give him a speeded high-five. ++ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - ++ The comments after the award show is so mixed. The [Bittersweet] performance was a big mess, everyone noticed it and comments are asking why Hannah was so nervous, what had happened, commenting that they love 5 Pieces but that performance was not that good, saying the beginning was shaky, but a positive reaction on my part is that I had the expression right after the shaky beginning. The rest of the award show was brilliant according to the comments. Our dresses were beautiful, our winning was well deserved, our performances were commented to be “as expected of 5 Pieces”. Friday morning, no rest at all; I am at a commercial filming set with Emelia and Maria, my eyes are barely open because we had a meeting and talked a lot last night after the award show. I am dressed in a white lightweight and sheer babydoll tunic with a flowy skirt down my knees. It will look pretty for the commercial when dancing around. The three of us are all dressed differently. While I’m wearing the white dress, Emelia is in a v-neck white t-shirt with a cool print at the front and a pair of low-cut jeans, and lastly we have Maria who is wearing a pair of over-the-knee black boots, a mini dress with a turtleneck and a long coat. We all look good. But I don’t think we are the stars of the commercial: Ace is with us, our cat on three years. Because the commercial is for cat food – Ace is the star – and the morning is all about directing our cat. That’s where Maria is the captain; being the special trainer of Ace for us. Ace isn’t trained to be on TV, but as we are shooting the first two hours he keeps receiving praise. Apparently, cats are not supposed to listen well; when Maria tells him to stay, he does stay (if you have candy in your hand). “It’s probably because we have dogs at home too,” Emelia points out, “They learn to follow the one who gets patted for good behaviour.” True. I am nodding in agreement. Cats aren’t trained like dogs, to sit and stay when being told to, but I think since Ace was around one year old when we got Michin and Ryo, he kind of like were taught that following orders to sit and stay you receive candy and praise. I think as long as there is candy to give; he does what you tell him. When it’s my turn to film, I get barefoot (I think my stylist personally is making me be barefoot lately) to the white dress and go through the set prepared to look like a living-room and kitchen. The director of the commercial shoot shows me what I’m supposed to do, and I am nervously smiling while he personally dances through the set to show exactly what I’m supposed to do. “But for you, it will look better,” he jokes when coming back to me. It’s fun. We play music to dance to and since it is for a cat commercial, the three of us are supposed to be smooth and sensual like the way a cat moves so in the commercial they will shift from when Ace walks to when we do our thing. It’s actually one of the funniest shoot ever, because the three of us are told to just let loose and move freely to the music – it isn’t such upbeat music, but it is something to move to – and we do have a blast. While I’m shooting, Maria is dancing behind the camera. Even when not shooting, we are just moving around to the music in our heads, the staff is deeply entertained by that. Maria and I finishes our filming first before we sit down for a promotional interview, and then I leave instead of waiting for Emelia to do her shooting, because I have a comeback practice to go to. Kyung Ho visits the practice after school, playing around with us and learning a bit of the choreography but most of the time sitting on the side. I get sweaty and I’m tired but somehow filled with energy to dance. Tomorrow morning we are starting the third filming of