One hour of sleep and I am woken up to give Kyung Ho breakfast and make sure he leaves for school in time, then I go straight back to sleep for almost three hours before my manager wakes me up with a call. “I’ll be over to pick you up in thirty minutes,” is what he says with the call. We are filming the show now, so when I get up I am aware of the cameras and I keep rubbing my face on the way to the bathroom. “Morning,” Maria greets me by the kitchen table. I grunt in response before closing the bathroom’s door behind me. I wash my face, brush my teeth and use the toilet before coming back out, yawning wildly. And all I can think about is that I had with Jonghyun. “I have to tell you something,” I tell Maria. I want to tell her, I think I need to tell her instead of holding it in and have them get mad at me once they find out. I learned from the fight we had in America about the breakup they didn’t know about. Maria is sitting in pyjamas, eating breakfast and doing something on her tablet. I can’t really say out loud in front of the cameras that I had with the person who the world thinks is my boyfriend. So I write it on my phone to show her, writing ‘I met Jonghyun last night, we had ’. Straightforward. “No freaking way!” she laughs in a high-pitched tone and look up at me. “Are you kidding? Emelia will kill you if she finds out. So what was it … um … everything’s good?” “It’s like it has been,” I say, shrugging my shoulder and taking a seat. I am sleepy. Maria is aware of the cameras too. “Nothing’s changed.” “Oh…” She sounds disappointed, and she smiles when I frown. “You’re doing this whole messy thing then.” “Yeah…” I am nodding. “It’s quite messy.” She is smiling while shaking her head. “Messy is fun at times,” she comments. I wonder what she means, maybe she is thinking of friends with benefits. Maybe that’s what happened. Maybe that’s what we are if we’re not a couple. She is good on camera that’s for sure, but she starts chatting with me online to ask for details without any cameras capturing it. I chat with her until Manager Lee sends me a text message that he is outside, and I get in a hurry to get dressed and leave. In one outfit I spend the day practicing for my concert, and in the afternoon I get changed and put on natural makeup to go to the museum with Kyung Ho. Carolina tags along as her interest in Korea is too big to avoid, and Korean museums are her joy. Museums and galleries, that is, and I think she has read too much about this war museum because she knows everything about every hall and while we keep listening to her voice, Kyung Ho grabs my arm to make me see the smile he gives me. He has fun listening to Carolina. “Are you having fun?” I ask him halfway through the museum. Kyung Ho is nodding happily, smiling widely. “She makes it funny though,” he points out and I smile widely too at Carolina who is lecturing us about tanks. The time at the museum is the best time. Other visitors recognize us, well, we are surrounded by cameras so of course they spot us, and some girls starts following us around the museum but they keep a distance to not get caught on the camera. Carolina doesn’t notice them and Kyung Ho secretly tries to interview them by asking who is their favourite member in 5 Pieces and if they will watch Good Sister Season 2 when it starts airing. He is cute; he is charming the girls. “He did what?!” Maria is laughing loudly when we are back at the house after the museum visit and eating dinner out. “He was charming everyone,” I tell her with a laugh as Kyung Ho pushes me from behind. “I did not!” he shyly calls out. “Kyung Ho, you will swoop all the girls-” “MARIA!” he screams and I’m just laughing as he jumps on top of her in the sofa, starting a wrestling match. He is our little brother, so it is our job to as often as possible. He is so alike me though, the way he denies things and gets embarrassed, the two of us are so strangely matched that it should be scaring the way we met at the hospital and just connected. It is Saturday night, we watch a movie and eat snacks; me, Kyung Ho, Emelia and Maria along with Milo, Ace and Tiger. We are chatting while watching the movie, throwing pillows whenever someone talks and we don’t like it. Maria falls asleep when we start watching the second movie, and halfway through that movie we can’t help ourselves from putting feathers in her hair and tickling her armpit – the last one is Emelia’s doing. Maria slaps our hands away when tickling her skin but she doesn’t notice us putting feathers in her hair. If this airs on the show, I’m certain the viewers will ask where the heck we got feathers from; and I have no idea where we got them from. When going to bed there is no question what I do: I text Jonghyun. It is mostly because I want to ask if he is mad at me for last night but also because I want to talk to him, to hear of his day and how it went with his mother. Jonghyun: How could I possibly be mad at you? You were right with what you said in the car, I’m sorry for pushing that. I’m definitely not mad at you, if anything I thought you got a bit angry at me. But we are in a weird position now, aren’t we?? I don’t really know what to do with us because I do want to have you around me, but at the same time we need some distance between us. He is pretty direct, but at least he says the things I have been thinking of too. I write back that we should take it slow, not because I know what I mean but I have to write something to him. He is fast to respond, and after that time just goes too fast. It’s only when my arms are too tired that I say I have to get some sleep now. Unlucky me, as when I want to sleep, Tiger wants to play. I try to sleep anyway but when realising she is not calming down I sit up on the bed to use a toy to have her run around on the floor for almost an hour until my eyes gives up and I lie down in bed again; Tiger plays a bit on her own for a few minutes before it sounds like she goes to bed too and I can fall asleep. Sunday is hectic in the morning, mostly because we wake up late so we are in a hurry to leave. Emelia left in the morning to go with SNSD’s Yuri to ride horses, Julia’s mother comes over to take Milo out on a morning walk while Julia is the one driving me and Kyung Ho to go shopping things for his room. He has watched Roommate, a Korean show where a bunch of idols live together, and he really wants those things they put up in one of the rooms; Iron Man and Spider Man. I have seen the show too so I know what he means: Which also means we run around in three different stores before asking the cashier who helps us get what we look for. Julia doesn’t dare to anything, embarrassed seeing me quickly walk through the stores glancing left and right and Kyung Ho stopping everywhere to ask if we could get this or that. If he got to decide, everything on the children’s section would come home with us. Honestly, I want to buy things too so it is great we have Julia there because each time I find a thing we could get, I glance at her and she shakes her head. It’s great to have Julia there because we have a list of things we need to get and though she likes shopping more than me she is more interested in clothes and food than children things like me and Kyung Ho. It’s good to have a grown-up with us. “Which one do you want?” I ask when we finally have found those wall stickers. “Just one?” Kyung Ho asks, his eyes glimmering at the different action figures. “How many?” I ask. He picks the Spiderman head and hand as well as the Hulk head and fist – his favourite action heroes. I just nod when he chooses them. We choose a lot of things, including brand new bed sheets of Big Hero 6, that Kyung Ho has seen recently and said it is the best movie ever. Maria has said she wants to see it too, go to the cinema and watch a children’s movie, but to do that she said she was going to go with Kyung Ho as he is a child; I wonder how she will react when finding out he has already seen it. Outside it is pouring down rain, we run back and forth from store to car and our feet glides a bit so just that bit is hilarious to go through. Though it’s raining and it’s cold outside, we eat ice-cream for some reason – delicious – and we spend tons of time inside a movie and music store with all the latest and hottest music, dramas and movies. There, Kyung Ho runs up to a poster with me on it that reads ‘COMING SOON – 2015.02.02 – 1st Solo Album – NEW ME’, it has my name and a really mysterious and cool picture of me covering the two meters high poster. It just reminds me that the concert is in a week, a week from now I will be in Busan preparing for the evening’s very first solo concert. “It’s incredible,” I say for myself and smiles at the large poster. I am part of 5 Pieces and I have seen a lot of posters like this one, in Japan I even saw a poster for my book in a bookstore which was also an incredible feeling to see. I get the same feeling now, since I have longed for years to release an album and it is incredible that I have participated in making most of the songs too; it feels like it is my album coming out, not something anyone have told me to do but me. Julia takes a picture next to me of the poster, saying she will share it to the other ladies to know that in one week I will be back as a solo artist. “Did you find something, Kyung Ho?” I ask, smiling back at Julia who is smiling at her phone. We go around looking at every single CD and movie in the store, we see Jonghyun’s album and my single [Bittersweet] too, reminding me that Kyung Ho still doesn’t know we have broken up. I will hate to tell him, every since the first day I saw him he said ‘Prince Charming’ to Jonghyun. I was ‘Sleeping Beauty’ because he had been watching me sleep, and since Jonghyun was my boyfriend he became ‘Prince Charming’. How will he take it that we have broken up? It’s not like I ever have had to say that to a boy before. On the way home I text Jonghyun, asking what I am supposed to do with Kyung Ho and to tell him about us. He hasn’t answered when we reach home, so I put the phone in my pocket to bring in all the bags we have in the trunk. Julia disappears into her own house while Kyung Ho and I go upstairs with his things. He does most of the things himself like putting up the wall stickers but I change the sheets for him. Tiger and Ace both walks around with curiosity, while Milo, I saw him stay in the kitchen – he isn’t completely comfortable when we come home with a lot of noises and people, so I’m happy the house is big enough for him to have somewhere to go on his own. Emelia hasn’t come back yet, she wrote on our group chat earlier that she is having lunch with Yuri and I think Maria is out shopping or hanging out with someone, all I know is that none of them is at home. “What do you say about scaring them when they come home?” I ask Kyung Ho when we are done packing up. “Really?” he shines up right away and I nod. “How?” “Let’s see who will come home first,” I say and pick up my phone to text Emelia and Maria, asking for how long it will take ‘til they come home. Emelia is on her way while Maria doesn’t answer. So I start telling Kyung Ho; “Emelia did this prank on us a few years back, where she put … um … plastic wrap, on the door opening.” “We can do that?” he asks in this high-tone boyish voice, overly excited. I nod and we head downstairs to find plastic wrap in the kitchen, starting the planning in the hall to use it on the front door. While using tape to stick the plastic wrap from one side to the other, I let him know (and the cameras) that you should never pull a prank like this without a grown-up being aware of it – I wouldn’t want this to air on TV and parents start complaining about how wrong it is t