The entire family was gathered in Jaejoong’s living room on this hot summer day. Half the people here should be busy at their respective jobs. But not after the scandalizing declaring Jaejoong posted on Instagram for everyone to see.

Half of the group glancing at him nervously, the other half was glaring at his husband. But no one had spoken for a good 30 minutes.

“Oh for ’s sake!” Jaejoong had expected his eldest brother, Heechul would reach the end of his patience right about now. “Can we just set the record straight here! This man” Heechul swung his hand to point at Yunho (who snarled at Diva-Chul’s existence), “did the cardinal sin of calling his pregnant wife the P-word! So if Joongie declares he wants a divorce on Instagram, hell! I’m with him.”  And Heechul and Jaejoong fist-bumped coolly leaving their youngest brother, Junsu to shake his head.

“Chullie…” Siwon took his wife’s hand in his, “we discussed ‘cardinal sins’. You shouldn’t use that term loosely.” Everyone collectively rolled their eyes. Leave it ultra-religious Siwon to think about jargon at this time. “and we talked about your swearing too.” And that too.

“You said I shouldn’t swear in front of Kyu. And our son isn’t here.” Heechul snapped and pulled his hand away from his husband.

“Hyungdeul, can you not divert the topic so we can get this done sooner? I’ve got homework to get to.” Yunho’s brother, Yonghwa chimed in.

“Yes please. Get back to me.” Jaejoong whined and then glared at his husband who had the decency to flinch like he ought to. “you, get out of my house.” He ordered Yunho plainly.

Yunho sighed, exasperated at the melodramatic situation, “Babe, I didn’t mean it that way-”

“Babe!” Jaejoong squeaked in horror, “did you hear that? Did you hear what he called me?” he made frantic gestures at Junsu and their parents. Yunho’s sister, Jihye clicked her tongue at her brother knowing what crime he did this time. “he called me ‘Babe’!” Jaejoong glared at Yunho with tearful eyes, “Like ‘Pig in the Cityyyyy~! WAAAAH~!” and Jaejoong began bawling.

His parents, brothers, Yunho’s mother and Jihye all fussed over him and tried to console him. Yonghwa had slipped to the kitchen to get something to eat. And Siwon was… praying for Yunho’s soul?

“Dude, your wife’s hormones are wack.” Yunho glanced at Yoochun beside him. At this point, he’s more agitated that Yoochun took the liberty to raid his premium whiskey collection than his wife’s hysteria. “Did you have to call him a ‘pig’?”

“I did not call him a pig.” Yunho explained under his breath. No one’s listening to his side of the story. Couldn’t Jaejoong have captioned that pic of absolutely real divorce papers with something better than ‘My husband called me a ‘pig’ so I’m getting a divorce’?

“What did you call him?” Mr. Kim sat beside him, amused by this whole show. He gestured at Yoochun to pour a glass for him too and crossed his legs, looking at Yunho expectantly.

Yunho always wondered how such a sage man like Mr. Kim puts up with the theatrics of his wife and sons. Then again, it was the expressive side of Jaejoong that attracted him in the first place. So he’s not one to talk.

He just huffed and shrugged, “I didn’t call him anything.” His father-in-law and Yoochun cocked a brow. “Jaejoong had a nightmare that he was eating and I apparently called him a pig. He told me that this morning and I just laughed it off. Next thing I know Yonghwa is DM-ing me pictures of divorce papers.”

Mr. Kim and Yoochun nodded knowingly. It totally sounds like Jaejoong.

Yoochun suddenly chuckled at a certain memory. “Remember when he was pregnant the first time and the third trimester was particularly ‘fragrant’? Jae told you to leave him so you don’t die of toxic fumes.”

“That was Heechul when he was pregnant with Kyuhyun.” Yunho deadpanned, “and if I remember correctly, he told Siwon he’ll collect all his fart gas and kill him with it.” He frowned when he thought he heard Jihye tell Jaejoong his brother is a ‘donkeyhole’.

Yoochun frowned and took a sip of the whiskey to remember, “Ah…that’s true. He used that card to get the Frozen-themed nursery.”

“Hey, remember the last time, he was six…seven months pregnant,” Mr. Kim smacked his son-in-law’s arm excitedly, “Joongie threatened to leave you if you didn’t get him pudding at two in the morning?”

Yunho frowned again, “from what I heard, that was your wife when she was pregnant the first time.”

Mr. Kim’s face fell, “Oh… maybe Heechul turning out this way is punishment for not getting the pudding.”  

Yunho doesn’t know how to respond to that. So he pretends this conversation never happened.

“So, you think he’s really going to divorce over a nightmare?” Yoochun asked with genuine curiousity.

“Nah!” With all the attention on Jaejoong, Yunho decided it was okay to chuckle now, “he’ll forget about it in a bit. He’s got a curious case of ‘pregnancy brain’.”

Yoochun’s mouth formed an O and he scrunched his mouth. This sounds too complicated for a lazy like him to bother about. “to hell with all that ‘glowing’ . Pregnancy looks scary.” Yoochun decided, “I’m going to be eeextra careful not to knock up Junsu now.”

“Good luck with that.” Yunho drily responded and stood up. He ignored the commotion and walked up sta