Missing you

Jaejoong splashed water on his face and wiped it with a towel but he was still sniffing and hiccupping. Using the same towel, he loudly breathed out from his nose to wipe the snot. It was unbecoming of the usually graceful beautiful man but he’s alone in this hotel room and too depressed to even care.

“I hate this…” he chokes out seeing his dishevelled reflection in the mirror. It’s 3.20 am in the morning here in London which means it is past 11 in Seoul. And it’s Saturday. Which means the kids will call anytime now and Jaejoong doesn’t want to sound like a croaking frog or look like a mess during Facetime.

His phone buzzed for the nth time in the past 3 hours and he knew it was his husband but he couldn’t respond before he fixed himself. He has been messaging since 12 am London time which means since he woke up back home in Seoul. Taking his phone from the nightstand, he checked the messages first… all from one number.

Morning! How was your day? the kids are up.

Tae ate my omelette. It’s okay right? He didn’t want to eat porridge unless you're feeding him. Did your presentation go well?

Ok Jae, it’s been 30 seconds. That’s too long a time window for you to reply. Is everything alright? Answer me Jae!

Jae, are you sleeping? Please at least acknowledge me. I’m worried here.

I know you're not sleeping. There’s definitely something bothering you. You want to talk?

Say something Jae! At least comment on my fastest texting spree for the first time in my life!

Jae I will come there right now if you don’t answer immediately.

I’m not joking. I’ll pick up the kids and show up at your room. You know I can with my business visa and private jet.

That was just the few messages between the zillion missed calls he sent Jaejoong. but what brought a smile on Jaejoong’s face was the last message attached with a picture of his older son.

We come to Umma. No cry okay.

Jaejoong giggles softly. He knows that even though it’s Yunho’s phone, Changmin is the one who sent that last text. And Jung Yunho’s son is just as forthright as Jung Yunho. Jaejoong wouldn’t put it past either of them to show up at his doorstep. Hell! Changmin could just march inside a hangar, sit in Yunho’s private jet and tell the pilot to fly ‘straight to Umma’. Jaejoong wonders how Taemin will turn out.

At the thought of his family, Jaejoong teared up again and he felt foolish. His kids were more strongwilled than him. Jaejoong felt like he was mistaken he could be a working mother.

He’s never known professional life. He and Yunho were engaged since birth by their parents. They grew up together and that they would spend the rest of their life together was ingrained in them. They love each other so much that they can tell what the other is feeling even miles apart. It was natural that his family’s company was absorbed by Jung corp. he was content being a homemaker with a caring husband and lovely children.

However, when he was pregnant with Taemin almost three years ago, Jaejoong started thinking. He was a naïve 20 year old boy when Changmin was born who liked travelling, cooking and accompanied Yunho on business trips. During his second pregnancy, Jaejoong started hanging out with other society wives.

In three days he realised how boring it was, in five, he couldn’t take it anymore.

Jaejoong couldn’t see himself being one of them. not because he was the only male among shrill, made up women but he couldn’t just leave his children to nannies, home to housekeepers, let his husband eat out every night, shop all day, drink all night and gossip. That is saying something considering he loves shopping, soju and gush about about his favourite idols.

After much discussion with Yunho, Jaejoong took a course on public relations. Yunho thought it would be a good way to put Jaejoong’s social skills to use. Plus, Yunho would rather have his own PR manager for the company instead of hiring a firm.

While juggling housework, a just-started-school Changmin, a toddler and a husband who tries but can’t function on his own, Jaejoong did his studies and now he’s gathering some experience working for a firm before Yunho can hire him. Jaejoong’s cousin Junsu helps take care of his children sometimes.

It’s not all rosy as Jaejoong thought. He knew it would be strenuous but what he’s going through is not the same as any of the starting publicists with him are. Contrary to what they think, Jaejoong doesn’t have it easy with a rich life.

For one, those kiddy publicists don’t have to worry about kids. Secondly, Jaejoong’s direct superior doesn’t like Jaejoong. Dongwan is always commenting on how Jaejoong has a chauffeur-driven car to drop him at work, about his generous contributions when collecting money for a colleague’s birthday, the lavish lunch treats he gives to the entire department on every occasion and the leeway from the higher ups to work from home.

Dongwan thinks Jaejoong is showing off his monetary power and the bosses favour him because he’s Jung Yunho’s wife. Jung Corps is after all the biggest client of the firm.

Sometimes, Jaejoong thinks it’s true. He worries that even if he does a shoddy job, he’ll still be praised because they fear his influential husband. But then Jaejoong reminds himself that Yunho has been so supportive and also didn’t let his influence interfere with Jaejoong’s profession. Despite being attached to the firm, Jung corps hasn’t given any PR tasks to them lately. Their friend Yoochun, who has practical experience of publicity being a media mogul, is a PR consultant of sorts for Jung corp.

The phone rings for a long time but before a sluggish Jaejoong could take it from the night stand and answer it, it stopped. A message followed.

I’m getting worried…. :’(

“Oh Lord….” Jaejoong groaned and winced at his hoarse voice. he cried a lot.

He had cried in a bathroom stall of the company they were at yesterday, then on his colleague Dara’s shoulder, then again in his hotel room.

He and his colleagues are in London to secure the firm’s first international contract. It’s a pharmaceutical company expanding to the Asian market. Jaejoong was excited for his first overseas task and his negotiating skills earned him the task of securing the deal. Even Yunho was excited, taking the whole week off from work so Jaejoong won’t worry about the kids. To Jaejoong’s great joy, the presentation went well and he secured the contract too.

But it didn’t last long for Jaejoong. While Dara, Yihan and Jihoon were congratulating Jaejoong on a job well done, one of the executives of that company came up to Jaejoong and both exchanged greetings. Chanyeol innocently asked if they knew each other and Jaejoong said they’ve met in party before.

The old executive went a step further and said their company has collaborated with Jung corp’s pharmaceutical research organisation. He even jokingly added that Jaejoong knows everything about this venture so he can take the lead in the PR management. His colleagues, sans malicious intent, also jokingly asked if Jaejoong did so well because he had inside knowledge of the entire deal. Jaejoong joined the fun too saying that’s how he formed a pre-emptive damage control plan. It was just some light-hearted comments.

Unfortunately, Dongwan heard them.

What was supposed to be a celebratory lunch turned sour with the experienced male nit-picking on Jaejoong’s planning and brushing it off as a mediocre effort even though they got the contract. But what came as a blow to Jaejoong was his harsh words before he left.

“if you have to use your husband’s influence everywhere then go back to being a pretty little society wife. Some of us work hard for these things.”

And that’s how Jaejoong ended up crying past 3 in the morning. He was so hurt he didn’t even heed Dara’s comfort or Yihan and Chanyeol’s “we don’t think that way”. He just wanted to be alone.

And if Dongwan thinks he’s an upper class snob, then so be it.

Jaejoong took a suite in the hotel they were staying. He didn’t even have that much money on him so he used the card Yunho had given him for whenever Jaejoong travels overs