defeated 

Frozen.

Muted.

Silenced.

Kim Joonmyun couldn’t move his feet, or his lips. Not even breathing. His eyes widened, then closed, then opened up again, in fear. Sweat coming out from his palms, shaking. His gaze failed to stay longer, it coming down, locked to the street under his feet.

“I’m deluding,” was what he muttered lowly under his messy breath.

Pang, a hard pang greeted his heart. Painful. So painful. It numbed him. That smile, was the smile he never seen. Was a foreign thing for his knowledge. Was —so new, simply new for his eyes. It wasn’t near, their distance, the street was still bright though, overly bright, and even separated by 15 meters was nothing for his eyes. He could see that, the smile, her smile, so clear. And painful.

He was stupid, he believed now. He should have walked there, heading them, furious. But he didn’t. No, he couldn’t. Even when his chest was so painful, there was a big part of him wanting to learn the reason behind that smile.

Everyone knew Jung Eunji loved smiling, laughing, joking, brightening the mood. She was an expert. But it was different, the smile on her face right now. It was —blooming, like a beautiful cherry blossom in April. Maybe it was the reason why his chest hurt. She didn’t smile like that, at least not before, to everyone, to him. And fact told that smile remained long, even when she walked, talked, giggled. She ended up her doing —whatever it was, with that smile.

So, he followed her move, even when there was a big road separated them. Even when a tall man blocked his vision.

Another pang stabbed him. Yes. That smile stayed every time she titled her head looking at that man. She was so petite next to him. She had to lift her chin every time their eyes met. That gesture should have been disturbing her, he thought. But that smile broke his theory right away.

Then he saw she walked two steps forward, giggling. There, his eyes found they were hand locking, she and that man.

His chest was numb.

He couldn’t hear what they were talking about. Whatever it was, it seemed like something that he would never understand either. The topic which he wasn’t capable of, maybe. He felt simply defeated.

However, Joonmyun didn’t stop and give up there. He was hurt. Being a bright guy he knew what he felt right now needed an explanation. There might be something he didn’t know this long time. Realizing this made him following their move. Coming inside a coffee shop, their favorite coffee shop.

Joonmyun came inside 5 minutes after them. Eyes looking at them, but his steps walked farther, looking for a safe corner. Thankfully, there were not much people inside. From his seat he could see Eunji, clearly. It was strange though, as she couldn’t see him, even when their distance was only three tables. He couldn’t see the man’s face though, only his back was seen. Not that he wanted to know either. At least for now.

He probably wasn’t sure what he was doing. What? Stalking over his own fiancée? It sounded stupid. However,  to his defense, he did need explanation. And he didn’t have time to wait until they separated and asked Eunji by himself. Being here probably could give him an answer, which had big chance to hurt him more.

His Cappuccino came. It though wasn’t strong enough stopping him from looking at them. They were talking, and she kept forming that smile. It was getting strange, as the pain on his chest lessened, a bit. Without his notice, the tip of his lips curled, so small, so thin. His muscle was stiffened before, forming an ugly frown on his forehead. Whoever saw this wouldn’t be able to describe the feeling of his weird smirk. He looked angry. But sad. But —okay? No, it didn’t make sense.

Then he saw her standing up. His eyes followed. Her intention was mystery. She was now talking to the café staff for a moment until they ended up reaching the stage w