stupid plan, stupid argument

I was stupid and this theory was legit. I looked up onto the standing mirror in front of me and seeing strange things. What was I doing? It wasn’t me! What was I seeking? It wasn’t my will! What was this?

People kept telling me how beautiful I was today. Mom was the first one, she cried even. You are beautiful, was what she said. It was actually too similar to what people said, but she said it differently, she was trembling, shaking and tears followed that compliment. And I was trembling too, shaking too, and my tears fell too. It was a simple sentence, yet it weakened me badly. As if I left my feet somewhere, as if I lent my breath away, as if I forgot how to speak. And sobbing was the only thing I could do. And she scolded me after, my mom. Eunji-yah! Don’t cry! You ruin your make up! See, she was my mom! The one who could easily turn up down everything, turn melodramatic to comedy romantic.

My dad, I hadn’t met him yet. I wasn’t looking for him too though, since we were going to meet soon. My smile thinly curled, I remembered his thin one last night. He didn’t talk much to me these days, it was strange actually. Compared to my mom, my dad didn’t lecture me about the new life I was going to face. But again, that thin smile, his thin smile last night was more than enough for me. He was watching, and he would always be. I knew that, surely.

I knew they would always stay by side. Yes. I knew this. But it wasn’t right, I still believed. This all wasn’t right.

I touched my cheek, the right one. It was just a moment ago someone touched my cheek, dearly, lovingly, while thanking me, telling me how lucky her son to have me. She told me that he might seem like kid sometimes, but he was gentleman inside, which I agreed, which I knew too, which made thing wasn’t right. She told me that he would always take care of me, that he would always keep his vow, which I believed, which I knew he would, which again was the reason why all of this shouldn’t be done.

That liquid escaped from the tip of my eye, again. And just then I heard sound of opened door. He was here, I could see him from my mirror. Handsome, he was delicately handsome. I should take back my word that a suit wouldn’t match him. He shoved clean his bang, and it looked handsome. Maybe because the way I saw him had changed, that now I couldn’t manage any compliment except he was simply handsome.

Our eyes met through the mirror. Slowly, he walked to me, slowly I turned around into him, slowly he formed his thin smile, slowly my tears covering my cheeks, slowly he reached me, and slowly I took him into my embrace.

“I cannot,” I muttered into his shoulder. I was sure he heard me, I was sure I was ruining my make up again, I was sure this would damage my dress but I didn’t care. He didn’t give me response. And instead, he reciprocated my hug, so tight, so warm, and I hated myself for doing this. “Song Mino, I cannot marry you, I’m sorry …”

_____

“Damn you Song!” I grabbed his wrist and without waiting for his word, I dragged him into our destination. “I told you not be late, didn’t I? What if he arrived already?! What if he missed us?! What if we lose our chance?!”

My rant was longer than that actually, and it couldn’t be stopped. This bastard deserved it all. We should have been there before he came, that certain someone who had a chance to destroy my life.

“Jung!”

“Don’t call my name! If this mission fails, you’ll be dead right away! I promise you this!”

“Gosh! Jung!”

“Right, that’s the café! We should ..”

“Jung Eunji!” he stopped me. And using his strength Mino turned me around without much difficulty. It startled me, of course. I almost bombarded him with another long rant, but the tip of my eye captured that guy.

This is it!

“My leg is hurt, you know that I … what?” his eyes went fast from my gaze into my hands which just grabbed his jacket. I formed my smile, thinly, dearly. I believed my angry eyes just turned into a soft gaze, which again he followed with what?

“He’s here! Cup my cheeks! And kiss me!” I whispered, clearly telling him the mission. And he frowned, startled even.

“W-what?!” he whispered back, and was about to look for him, but tightening my grip to stop him and went closer much closer towards his stiffened body.

“No, no, no. This is not our deal!”

“Song Mino!” I said under my gritted teeth, “it’s just lips lock! Now get your ing hands on my cheeks! And kiss me!”

He was perturbed for a second before his gaze changed. “You, crazy witch!” he muttered before leaning down to my level. His hands reached the back of my head, bringing my face much incher to his. And it happened, again.

_____

“Omma!”

“Ahjummoni!”

Both Mino and I shouted in jinx. Mom had just declared a crazy decision which invited my glare and Mino’s scared frown. Dad though didn’t do much, he merely stayed enjoying his meal. While my Mom, her eyes were red, I knew, she was furious.

“I don’t care how you two will process this, just get married, this spring!”

“It doesn’t make sense!” I blurted, avoiding her eyes and back to my spaghetti.

“It does make sense, you spoiled young lady! You said you want to marry someone you know, not some random guy I sent to you, didn’t you?! Then, go ahead! Marry Mino! You two know each other too well, our family is friend since ages. And it’s not a bad idea either. Go, marry him! I give you my blessing,”

“Omma! Mino is here. How can you tell me to do something like that!”

My Mom took a second to heave deep, which I could sense a bad thing was nearing. She changed her manipulative stare onto Mino.

“Do you have girlfriend, Mino?”

“Omma, jaebal!”

“Song Mino?”

“Aniyo, Ahjummoni.”

“What about someone you like, someone you love?”

“Omma, let’s just stop here! Arasso, I’ll meet that Kim Jiwon and clear this all!”

“Mino-ya? Reply me!”

Mino was as dumb as always, he answered all Mom’s stupid question which would bring us into that stupidest question. I knew he was dumb, clueless even, but damn! I didn’t know that he would just spill everything out and invited that evil smile on my Mom’s face.

“Don’t you feel lonely, living alone in this big city? I heard from Eunji, you always have fast food every day. That’s not good, dear!”

“Appa, shouldn’t you do something?!”

I really needed a help from Dad, but before he muttered something Mom had cut his time.

“Instead of having meal outside, isn’t it much nicer if Eunji cook for you every day? Waking you up every morning? Welcoming you every time you come back home? Accompanying your lonely night? I know she’s always on your side, but isn’t it much nicer to live with your best friend?”

“Y-ye?”

“Oh please, Song Mino …,” I begged him, I even grabbed his hand which was as cold as ice. What was wrong with this bastard? “Don’t you dare to answer my mom!” I hissed under my breath, too obvious for everyone.

And I saw he was confused, and my mom smirked.

“As young and healthy person, I believe you two need it, right? And it isn’t sin to have it with your own best friend rather with random people,”

“W-what … n-need what …,” I was stuttering, trembling even. My Mom had something dull inside her delicate brain.

“Don’t pretend things Jung Eunji. Look how healthy Mino is! I believe you have some delusion inside your dirty head. You even hide some video on …”

“OMMA!!”

Her sly grin lingered and it heated up my blood. Like seriously, was she really my own mom? I avoided her winning gaze, and instead, I looked at Mino, who –eh? –was blushing so hard. Damn!

I believed he was imagining things. This bastard was so weak on something like that. Damn you Song Mino! And then I felt he interlocked my hand, wait, oh right, my hand was still on his. Don’t you dare imagining things!

I heard a heavy sigh from my dad, and I wasn’t ready to leave Mino’s nervous gaze.

“Your mom just tries to do her best, Eunji-ya. And actually it’s a good solution for both of you. You two will turn 27 this year, and I think it’s the right time to get married. Just consider this first. We’ll give you two weeks, think and give us another solution if you disagree with this.”

Dad successfully silenced us. None of us could mutter a single word after. Mom didn’t even plan to continue mocking me. I was thankful for that, but still, Dad’s statement was like a wakeup call for me. I heard that stupid theory too often, but it sounded different once Dad said it. His words were delicate, sounded calm, and too direct. He didn’t want to hurt me but at the same time bluntly declaring his desire.

“So, did you ever imagining things between us?”

I shot him a glare and he only chuckled before throwing himself onto my bed, folding his arms behind his head. I sighed out loud once I joint him, sitting next to him.

Actually I was embarrassed by Mom’s stupid idea. I didn’t expect she would drag Mino into her dream —me getting married was always her dream. Song Mino was indeed my friend, my childhood friend, my class mate, my college mate, my best, but still, marrying him was the most ridiculous plan my Mom had ever had.

It didn’t make sense. It was like she was using my friend for her own goal. It wasn’t fair for him. Also, oh God, I couldn’t even imagine marrying my best friend. Marriage wasn’t just about living together, it wasn’t just about cooking meal for him, welcoming him home, waking him up, just like what Mom had said, it was more than that! And how could Mom even think I could do something more than that with my own friend.

“I’ll find a way.” I said determined.

“What way?”

“A way so you can escape from my Mom. I’ll manage it, don’t worry.”

He hummed, seemed agree with me. Yet he didn’t say more and it wasn’t helping me. I did wish Mino would help me to think for solution. I wished he told me his thought, I wanted to know so at least I could think of some way out. But he really didn’t say anything, he was quiet, and so was I.

I sighed again, this time was heavier. “I think it’s the first time I feel so embarrassed in front of you. I’m really sorry Song. It won’t happen, I promise you.”

Again he hummed, which now sounded bit softer.

I turned around, sensing he was getting sleepy or probably had dozed off already. Yet it wasn’t. He was looking at me, seemed like it, the whole time. I was muted. It was quite odd for me being stared like that. And I hated myself for staying unmoved, perturbed by his foreign soft gaze.

And –my heart. I could hear it, the beat, the sound, the rhyme.

“W-wae?”

I did need to stop this.

“Nope … I’m just wondering …”

I swore his husky voice didn’t sound safe for me. It weakened my head, as if it couldn’t work well. I could even hear my own gulp. And it didn’t taste good, it somehow stuck inside my throat, hurting me. And I blamed Mino’s hand which now reaching my cheek, bringing my head down to his level. What was this bastard even trying?!

“M-mwo …,” unintentionally I stepped back, feeling insecure. And he did something worse, he woke up instead and went closer to me. “M-mwo …?” His eyes were scaring me. And I got dizzier as my heart racing stupidly faster.

“I’m wondering …” those lazy eyes went down to his hand, which now was walking to mine, “Eunji-ya …” damn, he never calls me that way! I hate myself for expecting too much from him. That gaze was foreign for me. “… where you hide those videos?”

“What video?” I was confused, obviously, until I found a meaningful smirk fondly decorated his lips. I widened my eyes, and he chuckled, and I freaked out, “JUST DIE SONG MINO!”

_____

You look good together! –was what I heard often nowadays, from nearly everyone. And I believed it was another silly plan my Mom had been working on. She had probably told everyone (mostly my family, my neighbors, even some random people) to say that compliment every time Mino was around me. It was creepy, her plan. And I believed it was indeed her doing.

I grinned at an old ahjumma while trying to lean hard on my cart. Yes that ahjumma whom I didn’t even know the name had just complimented us, and I believed she was my Mom’s friend, colleague, student, or anyone my Mom knew.

“Newlywed?” she asked, looked warmly curious as she placed a bunch of fresh apples to her cart.

“Aniyo,” I said calm, “We’re about to divorce.”

Mino was about to burst out of laugh, but I dragged him far from that dumbfounded ahjumma. And once we reached the basement he couldn’t help but exploding. I was pissed off by that statement. I admitted that I didn’t have a particular reason, but still, I felt so angry.

To be honest we heard it often —almost every time we went grocery. It wasn’t that we often did it though. Mom loved to send me to this big mart since it was close to my warehouse and Mino’s apartment fortunately was around here, that was why I told him to come along and help me. Sometimes we ended up staying at our favorite café which just 5 minutes from the mart, just like now.

“Seriously Jung, get rid of that frown!” he said be