name us

The mid-summer wind breezed warmly, quiet and indulging, enveloping people’s dreams and their untold story. Sitting on the floor side by side in her balcony, both Jung Eunji and Song Mino looked up to the dark sky in comfortable silence. The clock had just turned 1 AM and none of them felt sleepy yet. A thin smile formed and stayed on their lips, quiet and completed.

It had been awhile since they started seeing each other. Strange, they found many things worth to talk and spend time together with. Starting from the spontaneous song-featured she asked him during their radio meeting months ago, Mino invited her to his studio and they began discussing about the project professionally. Eunji was genuinely surprised that he took her words into account and showed her few of the demos he made. There was no way she wasn’t flattered.

Although they hadn’t decided on one particular song, they started to meet outside the studio instead. Food was mostly used to get either of them out. It started with something as simple as ‘did you know this — restaurant in —?’ or something like ‘when —, eating —is just the best’ and most of the time either the male or the female would follow with ‘should we have them?’

Both though were equally careful with their image. Hence, meeting outside was never mentioned. Their meeting would either be at her place, his apartment or his studio. For the past few months, they had ordered numerous of food to their place just so that they could eat together, and obviously see each other. Not only that they had shared each other’s preference in food, his love of movies started to affect her. His favorite genres were quite varied, and mostly weren’t commercial movies. This side of him was new to her, although it matched his unique image, Eunji saw something undeniably deeper in the way he saw things around him. Rather than movies, Eunji was more into television programs and this also had affected his preference in watching television. They made each other watch the productions they loved, some were success and obviously some were failure.

For her fans, most of them knew that Eunji was actually into art in her younger age. If only she wasn’t as busy as she was these recent years, she would probably have pursued her love in drawing. While Mino, it’s not unpopular how the idol had never been shy to show his love for art and craft, he even recently held his very first exhibition. Since he showed her his collection, Eunji had found more reason to keep seeing this man. She was genuinely excited learning many from him, and he’s beyond eager to show her this side of him.

It wasn’t certain since when, but both Eunji and Mino had seen that meeting each other was something natural just like eating. Strange, it might be. But they never questioned.

“I have to go back but I don’t feel like to,” Mino broke their silence. His gaze remained looking at the sky.

“Then stay,” Eunji replied easily. She turned her head, checking his side feature for good two seconds then kissed his temple tenderly. “Stay tonight,” she whispered while circled her arm around his, then resting her head on his shoulder.

His smile grew thinner at her request. He turned her head towards her and saw her eyes closed, feeling the comfort in their proximity. There was something that wasn’t usual today. If he recalled correctly it might be the first time she stopped him from leaving. Mino quietly kissed the crown of her head and said, “did something happen?”

Eunji nodded lightly. “I felt really tired before you came, but strange, I don’t feel it anymore. Staying like this is nice.” She smiled at the end of her sentence. Not finding her confession embarrassing.

“Seungyoon stays at my place tonight, he will get really angry at me if I don’t go home,” he chuckled while leaning back to the glass wall behind them.

Pulling her body from his, she folded her knees and faced him directly, “Should I make an excuse?”

Cute. Mino scoffed and giggled after. “He doesn’t even know we’ve been this close.”

“Why?”

Frowning with confusion, he mimicked her expression. “I thought you don’t want him to know,” replied him innocently.

“Huh? Why?”

“Huh?” he too now started to get confused. “What if he ask why we met. What would you want me to tell him?”

“Watching movie, of course,” she replied easily.

“Ji, come on, he will definitely follow with why.”

“Well, because we want to.”

“Seriously? I thought I am the one lacking sense.” he still frowned, not expecting Eunji didn’t have a clue. Or, was she just acting clueless?

“It’s okay to meet right? We like doing this together, what’s wrong with doing it?”

“It’ll make more sense if it’s you and Seungyoon who often doing things together, both of you have been best friends since ages ago,” he tried. “But we aren’t.”

Suddenly the room became quiet. Her eyes still looked at him, confused, yet trying to understand. “We are not best friends…” She finished his sentence.

“Surely not. Friends don’t kiss each other, that’s for certain.” And he grinned, so wide, showing his row of white teeth. Although quite embarrassing to point out, that’s the truth. Best friends weren’t the name for them. Even if she did all of this with Seungyoon, they wouldn’t be named best friends either, it’s beyond friend line.

“Right,” she nodded, agreeing. Grasping what he actually meant, Eunji rested her chin on her knees, thinking. “We are …”

“Nothing,” he finished. Knowing well, she had no answer for that.

Their relationship was weird. Both perfectly knew they didn’t want the kind of relationship between a man and a woman. They didn’t have time to invest their feeling for a fragile commitment. Dating in this industry might cause a lot of risks, and both had quite a number of unpleasant experiences. Although had never been words, both silently agreed they would just casually meet, casually watch movies together, casually ordering their favorite foods for each other, casually held each other, sometimes with sweet kisses, light caress, and anything that they didn’t want to name.

It was enough. What they were doing was enough for them. Neither questioned what would happen in the future because everything seemed perfect right now.

What about how people saw them?

They never discussed this topic. They always believed it’s their opinion that mattered the most.

They always met at each other’s place. Since they lived alone for now, they didn’t have to think what excuse they had to make whenever they wanted to see each other. They also mostly met either pretty late at night or when they had no schedule at all. Leaving them free of people. It’s just perfect.

But do they really not want a name for their relationship?

“Do you…” Mino paused for a second, waiting for her attention to return to him. Her gaze slowly met his, and she smiled thinly. “… really want me to stay?”

Eunji didn’t reply immediately. There was an obvious meaning implied, she might have seen his underline intention. But she decided to shake her head, in contrast to what her heart told her to. “It’s okay, Yoon might be lonely if he wakes up alone in your place.”

To his surprise, she took back her words. Yes, it was the first time she stopped him from leaving, he thought she would stick to her wish. Despite being the one declining it, Mino still felt somewhat regretting. But he had no reason to stay.

True.

***

The following day was rather quiet. Despite free of schedule, Mino decided to stick on his couch watching random show Eunji once suggested, it wasn’t interesting to his liking. But strange enough, he still watched it.

Even when Pyo Jihoon, or P.O of Block B, visited him with a bunch of snacks, he just casually ate them without much comment, eyes stuck to the screen but mind was actually blank. He nodded, hummed, and shrugged at his friend’s chattering story, which he couldn’t perfectly recall if he’s asked. Something was missing, and although realizing what it was, he didn’t think it should matter.

Or, should it?

“Do you think I’m a coward?” he blurted suddenly, cutting his friend’s long explanation about the fishing plan he’s going to do this weekend.

“Huh?” Jihoon blinked at him in confusion. “You not want to go?”

“What?” This time Mino mimicked the frown on his friend’s forehead. Definitely not following.

Realizing that his friend might not even listen to his plan, Jihoon seemed to finally grasp Mino was referring to something that definitely not their fishing plan. “What is it?” Jihoon kindly asked.

“Do you think I am a coward? In your eyes.”

“Well, depend on what subject we’re talking. Hm…” Jihoon scratched his cheek, trying to think. “You used to be, but I guess we all used to be cowards at certain point in our life,” he told.

“What about now?” Mino’s gaze looked for honesty.

“What is it about, seriously?”

It was a vague question, nonetheless. No matter how close they were, Jihoon perfectly knew Mino kept some stuff just for himself, and as a friend he respected that. There was a line even between best friends, and as much as Mino respected his line, he too provided the same to him.

Breathing in, Mino avoided his friend’s gaze, and leaned his back on the couch, his head leaned forward facing the ceiling. “I don’t know,” he provided nothing.

Jihoon hummed quietly. Then followed his move, resting his head on the back of the couch. “Well, if you ask someone that, you probably already feel that,” he followed.

“You’re right. I’m thinking, is it because I’m a coward.” Again being vague, Mino muttered silently before closing his eyes.

Silence fell between them, only the quiet television provided sound which was ignored completely as they sank in their own thought. Jihoon was waiting patiently for his friend to spill more, even if he wouldn’t, Jihoon knew this friend was having a battling thought inside his head.

“I don’t know if I want it, but maybe, just maybe, I wonder if I actually know but pretend to not, because I’m a coward,” he mumbled further.

Breathing in, a bit exaggerating, Jihoon fixed his seating position and faced his friend. “Maybe you are indeed. I think, you should answer that question yourself. And if you do, and if you are, the next question should whether you want to continue being a coward or not. That’s when you’ll get your peace.”

Mino turned his head to the side, looking at his friend’s brutal honesty. He didn’t want to admit right away, but Jihoon had a point, which actually wasn’t that difficult to figure out. He should know this too.

“Yah,” Jihoon added. “And if you’re still scared, I guess it’s fine. No matter what you expect from yourself, you should admit you have your limit.” He assured. And Mino remained quiet. “Well, that will be different if you yourself want to exceed your limit though. Take your time, ask yourself, here,” he said as he placed his hand atop his chest, on the left side right above his heart.

“This is gross,” Mino commented with a sudden laughter.

“Yah! I’m trying to be the best friend you’re looking for, bastard!”

Sulking over the sudden attack, Jihoon was about to kick his friend in the waist when they heard the front door opened in rush.

“Song Mino!” A yell followed.

From the door direction, both Mino and Jihoon could see Winner’s manager, Yoo Simon, marched frantically to their direction. His face was bright red, yet he didn’t seem drunk.

“What the heck happened to your phone?!” Simon voiced out his frustration, his tone wasn’t friendly.

Immediately being alert, Mino fixed his seat and provided the answer. “It’s charged in the room. Why?”

He heard the older cursed straight after. “Get dressed, we need to go. I’ll explain on the way,” Simon followed with another scolding groan. “Jihoon-ah mian, we need to go real bad.”

Quickly reading the situation, Jihoon just nodded, and grabbed his belonging, ready to leave. He shared gaze with Mino one time, “calm down,” he muttered, making sure Simon wasn’t seeing. Simon was the calmest manager Jihoon ever seen, yet seeing how his state of panicking, he’s sure the cause was beyond his imagination. A scandal. He assumed fast before leaving Mino’s house.

Fast in his feet, Mino immediately grabbed his jacket and changed his short pants onto long denim. He grabbed his phone, and just as his expectation, so many missed calls already, mostly from Simon and Seungyoon. . He cursed silently. What did he do? He tried to think but from Simon’s cur