BYUNGHUN POV

“are you listening to even a word I'm saying”?! Changjo's angry voice snapped at me and I averted my glance towards him, blinking twice to get used to the sight in front of me. I was so lost in my own thoughts, that I forgot Changjo was sitting right beside me on my bed. “I'm sorry... you were saying”? I softly said, feeling extremely guilty for not listening to him. But I had so many things on my mind and it was quite hard for me to concentrate on anything around me. Yet at least hearing what Changjo has to say might help me get my mind straight.

“no I just...” he started, but then groaned. With a somehow cute pout, he kicked the pillow away with his legs and groaned once again. “I feel jealous”! Ahh, that explains the sudden anger burst..

“Chanhee, huh”? Even saying his name out loud made goosebumps appear on my skin. Just remembering the way his lips felt on my own made me lose my sense once again. I was simply craving for his touch, I wanted to have him right here in my embrace... and all of those thoughts made me feel extremely ashamed of myself. Not only was Chanhee Changjo's boyfriend, but I still had feelings for Niel. It made all the matters even worse...

“yes! How can he let someone sleep in his bed like that”?! Changjo continued freaking out and it made me sigh. “haven't you perhaps thought about the fact that they might just be as close as the two of us? More of brothers”? Yet why was I then jealous too?

But at least that seemed to awake some rational part of Changjo. And by the sudden blush on his face, I could tell that he was ashamed of his own thought. So probably to run away from some further conversation about that topic, he excused himself in the bathroom and I quietly snickered at his cowardly behaviour.

But I was actually even grateful. That topic most certainly wasn't entertaining. How was I to console him about it, when I had the exact same thoughts? Were I a little more bold, I would visit Chanhee right away only to see that friend of his.

Who am I kidding. I'm going right away.

“Changjo, I'm going out. Feel free to devour anything you want from my kitchen.” I yelled loud enough for him to hear it and then abandoned the house. Where did that sudden 'devour anything' sentence come from, I don't know, but I must have felt guilty so I said it. After all, isn't he the one who's supposed to go to Chanhee's apartment right now? He is his boyfriend. Or not. I don't really understand their relationship.

Although for some strange reason, I'd prefer if they weren't together. No matter how selfish that sounded.

As I reached the apartment, I suddenly hesitated to knock. What am I supposed to answer when he asks me why I'm here? “oh I'm here to see if I have a reason to feel jealous” or “I'm here to kick that friend of yours out of your apartment” or...

“what are you doing here”? I heard Chanhee's voice from behind me and I loudly gasped, almost tripping over my own leg while I was turning towards him, but thankfully I stopped myself in time.

I opened my mouth in intention to speak, but nothing came out. Chanhee frowned at my sudden weird behaviour, but saw that there was no use of questioning me more. So he just pulled me in his house and kept on dragging me towards his room. All along, I was looking around, searching for anything that could lead me to some clues about this mysterious friend of his.

“so. You home alone”? I casually asked, trying not to sound too interested in the topic.

Chanhee gave me a short, suspicious glance before slowly nodding. “why do you ask”? Because I want to throw that friend of yours through the window! “just... like that...” I mumbled, giggling at my own thoughts. Even though Chanhee once again found it all suspicious, he chose to stay silent. I swear, if he asked me one more question, I'd tell him exactly why I was here. But since he decided to control his curiosity... who am I to give him the unwanted informations then.

“nice apartment.” I said with some stupid grin and Chanhee abruptly stopped walking, only to glare at me. “okay, spit it out Byunghun! What are you hiding? Why exactly are you here”? He asked and I sighed. There's no running away now...

“Changjo and I wondered about.. that friend of yours...” I mumbled more for myself, yet Chanhee heard it. With a loud groan, he crossed his arms over his chest and gave me even harsher glare. “for goodness sakes, what is wrong with you two? Can't I have a friend”?

“not one that sleeps in your bed!” I accused him without even thinking about it and it only seemed to infuriate him further more. “it's not my fault that you two are some weird, jealous maniacs”!

“it is your fault”! I yelled and only then realized what exactly I've spoken. And it lead us to one minute of complete silence.

Until Chanhee broke it. “I am terribly sorry. If you don't like it, please don't hang around with me anymore.” his bitter voice seemed to awake something inside of me and so when he made one step away, I took one step towards him and pushed him against the wall, much to both his and my surprise. But my body seemed to react even against my own will, because only a second after, I found myself kissing him.

How many times have I told myself that I would never kiss him again? But why do I always end up kissing him?

“no.. stop this...” Chanhee mumbled into the kiss and tried to push me away, although I noticed that he didn't use a lot of strength. That could mean only one thing. He doesn't want me to let go, but still intends to at least try. How cute.

“it's your fault for making me jealous.” I whispered against his lips and I could quite feel him relaxing in my arms. I could almost even swear that he was losing his strength and if it wasn't for my arms around his waist, he'd fall down. Although, I'd catch him, wouldn't I? It's such a strange thing... I'd never let him fall down... I'd protect him no matter what. And I don't even know why I'm feeling this way towards him.

“haven't we both decided to end our friendship”? Chanhee questioned me with evident curiosity written on his face. I sighed, leaning my lips close to his ear and letting slow, teasing breaths against his sensitive skin. I could feel him shuddering and it made me feel proud of myself. “yes, we have decided that.” I quietly said. Chanhee stiffened in my arms but I didn't give him the chance to break the hug, or anything similar. Instead, I just hugged him even tighter. “we're now more than just friends. Perhaps, friends with benefits”?

What the exact hell is going on with me? Have I gone mad? Friends with benefits? When did that even happen?! I never even thought about that before, and here I was, so carelessly talking about being more than just friends with Chanhee. Am I really crazy, or does Chanhee simply have this strange impact on me? Why do I feel that I never want to let him go every time I'm around him, but regret my decisions afterwards when he's not around?

“no, no.. Changjo...” as soon as his name left Chanhee's mouth, I unconsciously let out a quiet growl. “do not mention him around me. After all, you said he's not your boyfriend.”

“your lover then...” his voice was now weak and it was enough to break me from my weird state of mind. It was like my needed cold shower that made me step away.

Chanhee smiled, although it was such a sad smile. A smile that momentarily made me want to just wrap him in my arms once again and ignore the world around us. But I did none of that.

“I'm sorry...” I breathlessly let it out, now finally facing the