CHANHEE POV

Concentrating in school is something I've never actually been quite good at.

However, if I ever thought I was unable to keep up with the teacher's words before, I was dead wrong. Because today it increased to its final point. I couldn't even hear a word and even if I concentrated damn well, all I could hear would still be: “I blame myself because he left” and “I miss him.”

and those words most certainly did not belong to the teacher that stood behind his desk, seemingly a little grumpy this morning.

“Lee Chanhee, do you mind giving us an example perhaps”? To prove his grumpiness, I had his voice as the evidence. By the tone of his voice, it was obvious that he wanted to give me one good slap to 'wake me up' from my thoughts, but he knew that it would be against the rules so he had to control himself.

I deeply sighed and my glance ended up glued to the outside's school yard. My lips curled into one of the smallest smiles, yet I was sure that it didn't reach my eyes.

“will you answer my question”? He questioned me after realizing that he wouldn't get his answer, yet I did not care about him. Too lost in my own world to even try to understand the world around me.

“if a man lies for the good of the man he's actually lying to, isn't it a positive thing”? I asked, snapping my head towards the currently bewildered professor that eyed me as if I had just escaped from the mental hospital.

“I believe that is not the thing we're talking about right now, Lee Chanhee.”

“yes it's not, isn't it”? I softly smiled and his already huge eyes widened even more after my answer. “although, I am talking to you now. So you should answer my question first.”

“you boy, should learn your place a little better! It is not my job to answer such questions. You have your ethic professor for that, or your parents. We are in the middle of the class so please pay attention to the things we are currently working with instead of sculling around”!

After that, he ignored me till the rest of the class. Perhaps because he was afraid that I would ask him another weird question, or he simply didn't want to bother with me anymore.

When the lunch time came, I chose to stay in the class instead of joining Jonghyun and Byunghun. I longingly stared through the window, still thinking over and over again about what I did last night. It was wrong. I knew that.

But still, I couldn't help but reminisce the soft lips underneath mine, the ones that drove me extremely crazy. Although, I took that kiss against his will, haven't I? He was asleep and I so cowardly stole the soft kiss from his lips.

And I blamed myself for it.

Although I couldn't regret it still, though. If I could, I'd probably do the same thing again.

Why?

Because I am crazily in love with him. And there is no returning back now after all that happened.

Yet why did I still feel as if I was walking blindly into the things?

After the school ended, I ran towards the car. Today, my mother came to pick me up since she had to pick Niel up from the airport.

“how was the school”? She asked, although I doubted that it really interested her. “good.” I carelessly responded and she just decided to drop that subject after my answer.

Our ride didn't last for long and she soon parked her car in front of the airport. We both went inside and awaited for Niel's plane to arrive. And it arrived perhaps fifteen minutes later.

Although the one I saw wasn't the one that I remembered actually. This Niel, instead of having longish black hair and plump red lips, was now almost a brownish angel. His hair really was honey like, the soft locks incredibly adorable. He had the widest smile on his lips and even I had to agree that he looked quite handsome. He really did grow up.

“Chanhee.” he softly greeted me and I could barely hear myself returning the same. We just spent some time staring at each other before he pulled me in for a bear like hug. It was then that I finally started crying. Finally letting out all of the things that bothered me.

“it's okay. I'm here now.” he softly comforted me, although it did not help me at all. Instead, it just made me cry even more.

“I missed you so much.” I admitted, still refusing to let go of him. But as he lightly pushed me away to take a look at my face, I had to give up on holding onto him.

“now, don't cry please. We'll have plenty of time to enjoy in each other's company so don't look so much behind.” he wiped the tears from my face and carelessly dropped his left arm over my shoulder and dragged me forward. Only to stop in front of my mother.

“missis Lee, it's nice to see you again.” he politely greeted her and she smiled. “likewise. It's nice to have you back, Niel. I was hoping that you could knock some sense into this kid.” of course that she had to complain about me immediately. But it only seemed to amuse Niel who chuckled. “am I hearing right”? He mock gasped, eyeing me teasingly. “you've been a naughty boy?”

“she is overreacting”! I defended myself, but Niel smirked. “ccc... seems like I'll have to teach you few more lessons about behaving, right”? He ignored my defences and I found myself pouting because of this conspiracy against me.

“how about some ice cream before we head off home”? My mom suggested and both Daniel and I exchanged a quick glance before wickedly smiling. “ice creaaam.” we exclaimed in the same time and it was now my mother that was dragged along by the two idiots that kept on singing about ice cream.

I only now realized that I truly forgot how to be happy.

Although I could now say that I was once again feeling complete by having Niel by my side.

Although I wasn't aware that my happiness wouldn't last for long.

I had no idea what his arrival would bring along...

“so tell me. What's been going on with you while I was gone”? Niel asked me.

We were currently sitting in my room, one hour after returning back home.

I simply shrugged my shoulders, playing with the hem of my shirt. “nothing much. With you”? But by the roll of his eyes, I knew he wouldn't let go of that subject so easily.

“oh common, there must be at least something. Haven't you fallen in love or something like that”? After that question, I turned as red as a tomato. Giving him the obvious answer.

“who is he?? tell me everything”! He sounded so excited, making me blame myself almost immediately. He seemed to be so happy for me being in love, although, wasn't I the person that kept on ruining his relationship back there? How could he possibly wish for me to be happy?

“aren't you mad at me”? I finally lifted my head up and awaited for his answer. Yet by the frown on his face, it seemed as if he didn't even know what I was talking about.

“what should I be mad for”?

“because I never supported your relationship.” I thought I should add the 'ex' in front of the relationship, because I didn't know quite yet where he stood now with his... boyfriend. But as I saw his smile dropping, I could tell that I was right about the ex thing.

“no, that's alright. I never held any grudges against you, honestly.” he softly smiled at me before continuing. “I think I was just a little hurt because you made me choose... and it wasn't what I wanted for us to end up like. I wanted for you to accept him...” his voice quieted down and I had to lean closer to be able to hear him better.

“I didn't want to lose you, you know”? He whispered and his hand reached out for mine. He gave me another assuring smile and I couldn't help but relax. He always was charismatic indeed. It would be a lie to say that he isn't able to lift up even a moodiest person. Somehow, he always seemed to win over other people's hearts.

“I know you didn't. But I'm sure that you didn't want to lose him either.” I answered and he deeply sighed, taking his time to answer.

“I can't say that I don't miss him, because I do.” he looked me straight in the eyes. “but I don't think it would be good to start the things all over again.”

“you don't intend to get back to him”? I asked him, feeling rather confused. He shrugged his shoulders and a cute pout formed on his lips. “I said that it wouldn't be good, not that I don't want that.” he laughed for a moment and then sighed again. “I just don't know how I'm going to react when I see him.” he explained and I nodded, totally understanding him. Maybe if L.Joe has chan