DANIEL POV

“you've got a new message.” my phone rang and I curiously picked it up to see the message.

One message from Cap it said.

I unconsciously smiled, immediately opening the text message. We have agreed to exchange our phone numbers few days ago and we've been chatting like that ever since.

Kinda excited, I quickly read the message.

CAP: You've been kinda ignoring me lately :( what have I done??

I bit down onto my lip, thinking about the right way of answering the message.

NIEL: I'm sorry, I'm kinda stressed :/

CAP: what's wrong? Please, don't tell me you're not feeling well again :(

I nervously shifted on my spot, taking a deep sigh in. I've kinda had.. a miniature breath-lose yesterday. The sicknesses were getting back, it's kinda getting harder each day to get up without throwing up. I thought I was over with the tumour, but all the symptoms were appearing once again. And I had no idea of what to do... I just wanted a little bit of peace, away from the hospital... but it seemed like nothing was going according to my wishes.

NIEL: I'm fine now. It was just yesterday that I felt a little nauseous... I'm going through some stressful time currently with all that's happening... you know, with Byunghun and everything...

of course that he knew about everything. He was the only person I felt like I could trust at the moment... even though he was a mere stranger, I felt as if I could really rely on him. He seemed like a trustworthy person.

CAP: be careful, though... I don't want you to get hurt. You should visit a doctor, or at least talk to someone close to you about it. Don't hide it from them.

I knew that he was right. However, how was I supposed to confront everyone else with it?

NIEL: I have you. Isn't that enough?

CAP: Niel, what makes you think you can trust me?

For some reason, those words made me feel hurt. Why would he say something like that?

NIEL: can I not?

CAP: *sighs* I give you my word that you can trust me. But still, I'm a virtual person, Niel! I can't comfort you in the way I might want!

NIEL: and how exactly would you comfort me?

It took him quite long to reply to that. I almost thought he would not even give me an answer, but he did.

CAP: I'd wrap you in my arms and comfort you with my whispers... it might sound silly, but I'd really do that. I'd wait until your lips curl into a smile and until you say that you trust me. Then I'd (even forcefully if needed ;) ) drag you to a hospital to see what exactly is wrong with you, never letting go of your hand. But since I'm not there... you need someone else to do that instead of me. Tell Byunghun about it. He'll probably understand.

I groaned in frustration, but still lightly smiled at his previous words. It sounded really nice, that someone thought of me in that way. I had so many people around me, yet only he made me feel this warm. Because lately, I've felt so cold... everyone was kinda cold towards me... especially Byunghun. And if I told him about my sickness, we'd have to go through all of it once again. And I didn't want to lose him only because of that.

NIEL: Byunghun is the last person I'd tell about it. Although... I could tell Chanhee everything.

CAP: Chanhee? As in... Lee Chanhee??

NIEL: yes?

CAP: I know him! He visits my bar often!

I gasped, my fingers now typing even faster than before.

NIEL: then can I come along with him tomorrow?

CAP: Is this your subtle way of calling me out on a date? ;)

NIEL: *blushes madly* maybe?

CAP: sure thing then, sweety :)

CAP: but what about Byunghun?

Ahh of course... the main problem right now... but it's not like we're in a relationship, or something like that anymore... I'm not sure if he even feels the same way about me anymore...

NIEL: I think he got over me. I think I have the right to do so too.

CAP: but you still love him.

NIEL: love is a changeable feeling... it comes and it goes. What makes you think I can't get over him like he did over me?

CAP: your heart maybe?

NIEL: it doesn't belong to him.

CAP: then to whom does it belong to?

NIEL: only to me. And only I have the right to decide upon who can have it at the end.

CAP: but what if he asks for you to be with him once again?

“yes Niel. What happens then”?

“bloody hell, Changjo! How did you.. when did you...” I looked around, still terrified after his sudden appearance. I swear, he made my heart stop beating!

He chuckled, taking a seat down on my bed.

“I'm a ghost, remember”? He teased and I was about to stuck my tongue out like a little kid, but then remembered that I was supposed to act maturely. After all, we were not kids anymore. Not the same kids we used to be, at least...

“see if I care about that.” I deadpanned before bursting out in a laughter. No matter how much I tried avoiding it, Changjo brought many happy memories along. Our friendship went even more past behind my friendship with Chanhee.

We spent our childhood together.

When he was perhaps two years old, Changjo's parents died in a car accident. And since my parents were very good friends with his parents, they took Changjo in under their custody. We've been living together as a family in Soul for years, until we got separated. Changjo was perhaps eight years old when my parents suddenly decided to move in Canada. But Changjo and I didn't want to come with them. They agreed, wanting their children to grow up in Seoul, to stay in touch with Korean culture.

Since they were working together with Chanhee's dad, he offered for one of us to come live with his family. I was chosen to live with Chanhee's mom.

Changjo, obviously, went to live with Byunghun's family.

We promised to keep in touch, but... that didn't go as planned. At the beginning, we'd call each other every day. But after a while, the phone calls stopped and it seemed as if we forgot about each other.

At my age of 14, I met Byunghun and soon after we started dating. Of course, I got to see Changjo a lot then, but it seemed like he was mad at me. Which was ridiculous, I'd say. I had done nothing to him, but he was still mad. Soon after, even Chanhee grew annoyed of me. He didn't even want to know Byunghun's name, so he started calling him L.Joe in that mocking voice of his. Whenever I asked him to at least get to know L.Joe, he'd refuse.

So I had two obviously jealous friends by my side.

At my age of 17, everything went completely out of control. Changjo, now totally losing his temper, decided to buy himself his own apartment with the money his parents saved for him in the bank. Not even Byunghun managed to convince him otherwise.

Me, being as secretive as I've been, caused a big fight with Chanhee. I refused to tell him about the tumour and was spending less and less time with him due to my sickness. Of course, he got mad at me, thinking that Byunghun was guilty of everything. And no matter how hard I tried to convince him otherwise, he just wouldn't listen. He just pushed me away from himself.

I didn't even get the chance to speak to Changjo.

Then came all the regrets along. Seeing that I was the one that caused Byunghun and Changjo to get in a fight, I had no choice but to do something about it.

Changjo is a unique person. He can't stand seeing people hurt and lost. He'd do anything to help someone be happy again.

I had to do something to make Changjo hate me.

My parents had been forcing me for quite long then to join them in Canada and have my medical treatment in one of the best hospitals there.

No one had to know about my sick