NIEL POV

“accompany Chanhee home.” I absently ordered to Byunghun after school was done, too busy trying to pull the phone out of my pocket to pay attention to anything else.

“don't you want me to stay here until Minsoo arrives”? Byunghun hesitantly asked me and I frowned, now completely forgetting about my phone.

I turned towards him and eyed him suspiciously.

“we both know that you're using that just as an excuse not to meet Chanhee.” I stubbornly said, folding my arms over my chest. As I gazed intensely at him, he gulped and averted his glance, thus proving that I was indeed right.

“common, you can't be ignoring him forever.” I complained but he only shook his head.

“I'll talk to him... just not now.”

“are you really going to be this stubborn”? I asked him incredulously, not understanding why he's being such a coward.

It's not like it would be the end of the world if he confronted Chanhee and told him that he wants to start our friendship all over again.

Like this, he's only making everything seem too suspicious.

As he nodded, I sighed and once again glared at him.

“if you don't talk to him soon, I'm gonna tell him. Jish, what's your problem anyway”?

Getting no response to that, I gave up on even trying to talk to him anymore. But luckily, Minsoo arrived just in that moment so there was no need to keep on bothering, anyway.

I muttered a quick goodbye to Byunghun and then entered Minsoo's car, almost immediately awkwardly reaching out for his hug.

“woah, someone was eager to see me.” he chuckled into my hair, but only tightened the grip around my waist. I felt comfortable like that, breathing in deeply his intoxicating smell and stealing those bits of his warmth. I don't think there's a place that makes me feel safer than here in his arms.

“I'm a bit nervous.” I murmured against his shirt and he lightly pushed me away, only to lean a soft kiss on my lips. “I'm here for you, no matter what happens. Okay”? He comforted me and I nodded, feeling assured enough.

Though I was still afraid of confronting the results.

Because the symptoms were all back. The nausea, pain in my stomach, throwing up, headaches, even depression at some points.

I've been already once through all of it. And if I had to go once more...

I don't think I'd endure it.

Not again, no.

“what if I had to go to America again”? I whispered weakly, fighting against the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes. Only the thought of having to leave him, Chanhee, Byunghun, Changjo... had made me want to give up on life.

But the worse thing is, it's too contradicting! Because I've never wanted to live more, than right now in this moment.

“I'd follow you even to the end of the world if it was necessary.” he replied confidently and I immediately lifted my head up, searching for his eyes.

“you'd go with me”? I asked him and he nodded, a small smile etching itself on his lips.

“I'm not leaving you. Ever.” he promised and I couldn't fight the tears anymore.

I let them flow down, because Minsoo would wipe them away, anyways.

He'd be my strength.

As we reached the hospital, my anxiousness started growing bigger and bigger. I held Minsoo's hand all along, afraid that if I let go in any moment, I'd faint.

Only his company had made me feel brave enough.

“you know, I'm really grateful that you're here.” I softly whispered to him while we were sitting in front of my doctor's office, waiting for him to invite us in.

“it must have been really hard on you to confront all those things in such an early age.” Minsoo worriedly whispered, caressing my cheek with his left hand. I let my eyelids close, enjoying in the beautiful sensation.

“it was... I feel like I've grown up too early.” I nervously chuckled, though the sadness behind that chuckle was still visible.

“yet you're stronger than any person I've ever met in my entire life... I actually admire you, Niel-ah.” without even seeing it, I could tell that the smile on his face was breathtaking. And so I had to open my eyes and see it for myself.

Indeed, his smile had once more left me wordless.

It was in that moment that I had realized just how petty my relationship with Byunghun was.

Even a year of separation was enough for both of us to give up on what we had.

But something was telling me that this, what I had with Minsoo, was different. I don't think either of us would be willing to let go of each other, even if we had to live without each other for over ten years.

There was something about him that made me want to be even closer to him, to always have him by my side and to never let any stupid mistakes get between us.

Even though I'm naturally a selfish person and worry a lot about my pride sometimes, if it were for Minsoo, I'd be the one to fall on my knees and beg for forgiveness.

I'd do anything to keep him by my side.

Because I...

“Minsoo I lo...” but my sentence was cut off with the door opening and revealing of my doctor. Minsoo was quick to get up and help me to stand on my feet once again, as if he was worried that I would fall or wouldn't be able to enter the office because of fear.

But oddly, I haven't felt afraid at all. The sudden conclusion of my feelings and the explosion of those butterflies in my stomach had made the fear go away.

I smiled reassuringly at Minsoo, smiled in the way I'd probably never smiled at anyone before. Probably that was why he seemed so baffled and clumsy while we were entering the office.

As we sat, the doctor took his glasses off and glanced at me.

“how are you feeling”? He asked and I lightly smiled. “good, I guess.” and happy beyond explainable.

“well we wouldn't want to spoil that, wouldn't we now”? He teasingly said and smiled, pushing some papers in my hands.

“the blood results are quite good.” he told me and I could almost feel my heart skipping a beat. Minsoo secretly caught my hand under the table and squeezed it lightly, smiling all along.

“the nausea, throwing up and everything is just the consequence of your chemotherapy.” his smile then lightly saddened. “since you were put under a lot of radiation, this is a normal thing actually. Your blood cells are still not in the perfect condition and you're still gonna have to drink your medication but over some time, you'll recover fully. But for now, there's no notice of the cancer appearing anywhere so you shouldn't worry about it.”

I don't think anything could ever explain the tears of joy that were currently gliding down my face.

I thanked the doctor over ten times perhaps and as soon as I abandoned his office, I threw myself in Minsoo's arms and let him spin me around and kiss me as many times as he wanted to.

“I love you, I love you and I LOVE YOU”! I yelled those words for the first time ever to him, not being able to hold them back anyway. I chuckled upon seeing his shocked face and then leaned in one kiss on his lips, then another one and another one... until we were both just laughing like idiots, not caring at all that there were people who could see us.

After we had managed to calm down a bit, Minsoo drove me home and I invited him in. As I entered the house, I immediately loudly called out for Chanhee and, as soon as I saw him, I ran to his side and hugged him so tightly that he probably wasn't able to breathe for quite a while. But I couldn't help myself.

I felt so relieved that I just felt like celebrating it.

“are the blood results fine”? Chanhee muttered against my shirt, since there was no other way for him to talk anyway. I nodded, but still didn't let go of him. Now that I was sure that everything was fine, I had a need to make up for everything I couldn't do with my best friend before.

“I'm gonna buy you lots of clothes, and books and.. whatever you need, just tell me! Oh my God, I can't wait for us to go shopping”! I kept on excitedly rambling, causing Chanhee to groan loudly. “just not clothes shopping again..” he murmured and I giggled happily, ruffling his soft mop of hair.

“I'm gonna let you buy anything you want! Promise.” I said and then finally let go of him, probably in the right time.

His hair was totally messed up, not to even mention his ragged breathing. I almost chocked him to death, but I didn't even regret it.

“wow, I haven't seen this side of you for quite a long time. I've missed it.” he softly smiled at me and then finally averted his glance to Minsoo.

“but... I do care for my mental health, so please don't let him take me to shopping.” he told him, using such a serious voice that I just had to hit his shoulder, though with not much strength.

“yah, you silly pabo, you're not getting away with this!” I threateningly pointed a finger in his way and was about to grab his hand as if to stop him from even trying to run away from me, but was too late.

He already ran away.

But... he wouldn't be able to reach far.

CHANHEE POV