[CONTENTID1]LIVE IN THE MOMENT - KAI'S POV [/CONTENTID1]
[CONTENTID2]

One Year After Break-Up

Sweat. I wiped it off my lip and slapped a hand onto the mirror, staring at my panting reflection. Air left and entered my lungs in shallow breaths and I narrowed my eyes, studying myself. The tips of my hair dripped with salty liquid from my pores, redness marred my cheeks from my harsh workout, dark patches on my t-shirt surrounded my armpits and my eyes were hooded with fatigue. I pushed myself away from the mirror and snatched my water bottle from the floor next to my MP3 player and took a long swig. I grabbed a small towel from a cabinet in the dance studio and wiped my face and hair, the material soaking up my sweat. My body ached as I walked back over to my MP3 player and shoved it into the pocket of my sweatpants. Grabbing the rest of my things, I made my way out of the studio but not before turning off the lights. I locked the door and started my way down the streets of Chicago.

This was more or less a routine. I woke up, ran for an hour, showered for fifteen minutes, had breakfast with Lay and a few other people and then went to the studio. The lessons were gruelling but in the best possible way, I was worked to my limit and past it, I was shown how to improve my dancing in different ways, I was taught how to express more emotion with the way I moved. Even after the lessons were over, I stayed in the studio until everyone else had left and it was just me. It was the only time I really had to myself. Back at the apartment I shared with Lay and two other males, Jaebum and Jinyoung, it was always crowded. It was always loud and messy and I never had a moment to collect my thoughts. Here in the studio, so late at night, I could sift through my feelings and really decipher myself. I could think about my family: how well my father was doing as an accountant for PetroPark, slowly moving up the ladder of chain of command, how well my mother was responding to the chemotherapy provided at Dawson Medical Centre which had been started by Victoria. I could think about how in a couple of weeks, I would be in Korea to visit my best friend Taemin and how much I had to tell him. I could think about the pain I still felt when something reminded me of Penelope, how soft her lips had felt every time we kissed, how loud her laugh had been whenever I cracked a joke - good or bad. I could think about how she'd berate me for eating meat, how she'd gush over her sister's pregnancy and tell me how much she looked forward to starting a family when she was older. I could think about the way her short hair blew in the wind and how she'd tuck it behind her cute, small ears and smile so beautifully. I could think about the night she told me she had feelings for Sehun and the words he'd spoken and the break-up that ensued.

I could think about everything - the good and the bad. Although it pained me to relive the moments of my relationship with Penelope in my head, it also brought me a certain joy. I, unlike so many people in the world, had had the fortune of falling in love at the ripe age of 17. I, unlike so many people in the world, had had a beautiful girl to call mine, a girl who although made mistakes, worked twice as hard to fix them. I didn't hate Penelope Park, I could never feel that way about her. I didn't know if I was still in love with her or if I was just in love with the idea of her, the memory of her. No matter, I didn't hate her. She'd shown me that love was a beautiful, blissful, horrible, heartbreaking thing and it was better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. A lot of people would disagree with that but I didn't. Sure, the breakup had been soul crushing but it had also been enlightening. After the initial depression, anger and hatred I'd felt, I'd realised how lucky I'd been to have ever been in love in the first place. Penelope Park was my first love and I would never regret it. Even though I was taking a lot of time moving on, I was still doing so and I wasn't in a rush. 

"You're home, awesome. We were just about to watch a movie," Jaebum said as I entered our apartment, taking off my shoes and placing them neatly under the over door hooks. He scrunched his nose up at me. "You should probably take a shower first."

"How about a hug instead?" I suggested, grinning from ear to ear. His eyes widened and he started walking away, fearful. He shook his head but I dove at him. He jumped aside, narrowly missing my embrace. "C'mon, JB, give me a hug!"

"Stay away from me, smelly freak!" He screeched, darting off. He threw himself behind the couch Lay and Jinyoung were sitting on. They glanced up and laughed, resuming their munching of popcorn. I laughed and went to the bathroom, stripping my clothes off and stepping into the shower. The water rained over me, warming every inch of my skin. I sighed pleasurably and ran my hands through my hair, massaging the water into my scalp. I grabbed one of the shampoo bottles and poured a load of pink liquid onto my head, rubbing it into my scalp also. Foam and bubbles built up and an explosion of strawberries and bubblegum smells permeated the bathroom. 

"LAY! STOP LETTING SUNHWA SWITCH THE SHAMPOO BOTTLES!" I screamed, angry that I'd now smell like a pubescent tweenage girl. Lay and Sunhwa had been dating for about eight months now. She was a singer on Broadway Chicago, the two had met when Lay had been cast as a dancer for a musical for the duration of four weeks. They'd been inseparable ever since. She was a sweet girl, two years older than us, but treated us all as if we were the same age as her. 

"SHUT UP AND HURRY UP!" Lay shouted back and I groaned, finishing my shower and stepping out. I dried my hair with the towel then wrapped it around my waist, walking to my room. I quickly changed into a clean pair of sweatpants and a simple red t-shirt. Barefooted, I made my way back to the living room and plopped down next to Jinyoung, resting my arm over his shoulders. 

"What are we watching?" I asked, scratching my neck.

"Some cheap B-rated movie JB picked out," Jinyoung answered, shaking his head in disgust. Jaebum put the disk in the DVD player and leapt back onto the couch, curling up next to Lay as the TV screen went black before the title of the film appeared. "Seriously? The Neck Slasher?" 

"Shut up, it's starting!" Jaebum snapped, his eyes fixed on the screen. I chuckled and leaned back, too tired to watch the movie. Sleep quickly claimed me and I dreamt of Penelope, as I always did.

~

I trailed my suitcase behind me as I made my way out of the baggage claim. As I walked down the arrivals area lane, I spotted my best friend and joy instantly flourished inside me. He looked very different from the last time I'd seen him. His hair was no longer brown and long, it was now a black colour and cut short. He had bangs over his forehead and his face was slimmer, as was the rest of him. In simpler words, he'd matured since two years ago. 

"Taemin-ah!" I shouted and his head snapped in my direction, a broad smile gracing his face. As kids, we'd often been confused for twins. Something about our facial features made people think we were siblings but we didn't mind, we often acted like twins: finishing each other's sentences, voicing the other's thoughts or just liking the same things in general. I hurried over, eager to reconnect with my old friend. We threw our arms around each other and hugged, uncaring if we looked weird or cheesy. I hadn't seen him in two years and I wasn't about to greet him with a nod and a slap on the back. 

"Did you get taller?" He asked, squinting his eyes at me. I nodded and grinned. "I hate tall people."

"You're jus