Absence and Guilt
Clairvoyance
Ken POV~
Three days. It had been three days since any of them had heard from N. Three days since Leo had hit their tan friend. Ken was worried sick. He could tell everyone else was no better off. Even Leo was so restless that hr abandoned his bed rest and came down to Hyde to work, playing haunting, sad melodies on the piano.
Ken wanted to hug Leo and tell him everything would be okay but he couldn't. Because what if it wasn't okay? Then it would be Leo's fault for assaulting N. Even if N did kiss his ex. At least he hadn't crossed the line of physical abuse.
"Jaehwan!" Daehwan shouted as he entered the café alone. Ken looked up from the coffee he was ruining and sighed.
"Hey. How's it going?" He dumped the coffee down a small sink and started over. "Things getting any better on your end?"
"No. Byoungjun hasn't left Hakyeon's side and I still don't know what happened more than Taekwoon hit Hakyeon." Daehwan leans against the counter and sighs. "All he's been doing is crying, sleeping, and throwing up. Nobody can get him to eat and Byoungjun has to force him to drink. I don't know what to do. But I want my freaking boyfriend back. I want Cha Hakyeon out of my house and back here where he belongs."
"Don't we all." Ken heard Ravi mutter as he cleaned a table near Ken's work station.
"Wonshik, behave." Ken pouts, not enjoying the bleak atmosphere. It had been suffocating him since he and Ravi had gotten back from the park and Ravi had threatened Leo. The two still wouldn't so much as look at each other. Ken was about to explode from the tension. Ravi just grunted acknowledgement at the command and went to a new table.
"I know Hakyeon and Byoungjun dated. I know they have a past. And I even know Byoungjun still loves Hakyeon. But I can't stand being a third wheel in my own house. And I can't stand watching my friend slowly die either." Daehwan had that glossy look to his eyes that usually came with someone about to cry. It broke Ken's heart and he finds himself pulling his friend into a hug.
"Everything will be okay. Everything will be alright, Daehwan." Ken whispered soothingly as he held Daehwan against him.
"How do you know?" Daehwan sniffled, trying to hold back the threatening tirade of tears from cascading down his cheeks.
"Wobshik said so." Ken put all his trust in Ravi. If He said it would happen then it would. He had to remind homself this as much as he had to tell Daehwan. Everything would be okay. Because Ravi said so.
Ravi POV~
He heard what Ken said and flinched, concerned by the expectations his boyfriend put on him. He didn't usually do well under pressure but he was willing to do anything if it meant helping N and pleasing Ken. So he nodded in agreement. Everything would turn out okay. He just wished he knew how.
He watched Leo, tinkering away on the piano, oblivious to the condition he had put N in, not even making an attempt to bring him back. Anger coiled in Ravi's chest at the thought. If Leo loved N, how could he let him go without so much as a fight? If Ken and Ravi were in that position... Well Ravi would be on his knees, begging the love of his life to come back to him until Ken killed him out of annoyance.
"Taekwoon." Ravi couldnt handle it anymore. Leo had to at least face what he caused. "Did you hear Daehwan?" He kept his voice even despite his anger, not wanting to distress Ken with any sudden violence. "Hakyeon's killing himself over what you did to him and you're going to just sit there like nothing's wrong. Did you ever even love him?" Leo made no move to answer, no sign of acknowledgement. Ravi growled and turned back to the table he was scrubbing as Soomi and her friends entered the café.
"Okay. I've been in here every day and everyone keeps avoiding telling me where Hakyeon is. I'm over it. Someone's going to tell me what happened." Soomi stands in the middle of the café, arms crossed and a terrifying look on her face.
"Why don't you ask Taekwoon." Ravi went to Ken to hold onto him, preemptively soothing his boyfriend, anticipating what Soomi was about to do. "He's the one who assaulted him."
"You did what?!" Maia screamed, lunging at Leo, only to be caught by Soomi.
"Now, now, Maia. He's still recovering. We can't injure him... Well not too badly at least." She approached Leo and a loud noise echoed through the room as the palm of her hand met the side of his face. "How dare you touch him like that! Where is he?!" She slapped him again. Ravi noticed Leo wince but otherwise appear to remain unphased by the situation. Ravi wondered if any of this would get through to the quiet man.
Hongbin POV~
He takes the pan of chocolate cherry muffins from the over. A heavy sigh escaped him at the heavenly aroma. These were N's favorite. He missed N. Without him the house had felt quiet and empty. No. It felt dead. Nobody wanted to speak, to laugh. It didn't feel right. N was the life of their group.
He heard yelling in the café as he sat the muffins on a rack to cool. Hyuk put another plate in the drying rack. He had been helping Hongbin with the dishes, seeing his lover's distress in the past few days. Hongbin was eternally greatful to have him by his side when he felt so insecure. At least Hyuk's mild wounds had already been recovering well.
"Sounds like Soomi." Hyuk sighed as he and Hongbin go into Hyde in time to see Maia take her turn at smacking Leo.
"I can't believe you hit him!" Maia glared at the silent man. "There will never be a good enough reason for that!" Hongbin was inclined to agree with the seething women.
"I know..." Leo sounded so lost. So broken. Hongbin's anger toward him broke away and he found himself getting between the girls and his friend.
"He's had enough you guys." Hongbin whispered. He could feel himself shaking, his nerve failing him. "He's hurting too." Hongbin couldn't stop it. He couldn't stop the tears from falling. All the emotions he'd kept bottled up since he and Hyuk came home from their mission to the absence of N was now pouring out of him. How could this be happening? How could their family be falling apart?
Hyuk POV~
He watched as Hongbin's tears began to fall. As Hongbin ran from the room, back into the kitchen. He hated seeing his boyfriend in so much pain. He wished he could make the people responsible pay. But the truth was, they were already as hurt as Hongbin was.
"Hakyeon is at Byoungjun's. You'll have better luck getting through to him." Hyuk informed Soomi and Maia before jetting after Hongbin. He found him sitting on the stairs leading to their house, crying with his hands covering his face. Hyuk sat quietly beside him, pulled him against his side and wrapped his arms around him.
"I hate this..." Hongbin sobbed, turning enough to hide his face against Hyuk's chest.
"I know, baby. I know." Hyuk rubbed Hongbin's back, ran his fingers through his hair, rained kisses on the top of his head, anything he could think to calm him down. If things were fixed soon... Hyuk didn't know what would happen to Hongbin and that scared him.
N POV~
Byoungjun had finally left him alone. N didn't know where he had gone. Probably to shower or sleep. Either way, he was relieved to be alone. Byoungjun's presence just reminded him of their kiss. Of his guilt. Of the fact that Leo didn't love him anymore.
He got up and made his way to the bathroom, vomiting in the toilet before going to the sink. He rinsed his mouth out and washed his face, looking into the mirror. The bruise had faded from deep purple to a sick green/yellow shade. N felt that he deserved it. He deserved this ugly mark for what he did.
"Cha Hakyeon!" A familiar voice called for him from the bedroom. He flinched slightly, not ready for the confrontation. He hadn't thought... But of course he should have known... He was just going to have to it up and take it like the man he was supposed to be.
"Hey Soomi..." He sighed as he came out of the bathroom, seeing her and Maia sitting on the edge of the bed. "Maia..."
"You look like crap." Soomi, ever the observant, pointed out as N sat in a desk chair by the window.
"Taekwoon's no better off." Maia shrugged and N found himself having to dodge a pillow she chucked at him. "Tell us what happened."
"I made a mistake..." N didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to cry again.
"Thank you for the vague description, Hakyeon. You're so damned helpful. I don't know how I can possibly get through every day without your incredible insight." Soomi rolled her eyes and N sighed again.
"Could you stop being a ?" He questioned, just wanting to curl up and go back to sleep.
"Could you stop being an idiot?" Maia chimed in. Great they were teaming up on him.
"Fine. Taekwoon and I got in a fight over him letting the kids hunt a wendigo." N gazed out the window, not really focusing in anything, just reliving his conflict with Leo. "I had Byoungjun take me to help Sanghyuk and Hongbin. Hyuk had gotten injured. I was emotional when we got back to Hyde. Byoungjun kissed me and... I..." He felt hot tears sliding down his cheeks as a sob escaped him. "I k-kissed him back... T-Taekwoon saw us... H-he got mad... He hates me..."
"He doesn't hate you." Maia was next to him, hugging him. "He's as miserable as you are."
"Hakyeon. You have to go back. Everything is falling apart without you. Hongbin and Jaehwan are a mess." Soomi shook her head, a pained expression on her face. N wasn't sure he was ready to face the hatred in Leo's eyes. But he knew he should. For the sake of the others, he had to.
He promised Soomi and Maia that he'd go back as he said goodbye to them. He tokd Byoungjun to take Daehwan out on a date to make up for his neglect. Assured him he was fine. He was doing better. Once he figured everyone would be asleep back home, he decided to make his move. At least he could possibly put off the pain of Leo's hatred for a while longer.
Leo POV~
He had woken up to the sound of his bedroom door creaking open. Soft footsteps made their way across his room. Leo didn't dare to move. He didn't feel like dealing with people. But a body slid into bed beside him and he had no choice but to open his eyes.
What he saw was Hakyeon, a terrible mark on his face and tears in his eyes. That bruise. It had been Leo's fault. Guilt gripped him and he had to fight back a sob of anguish. Without thinking, he reached out to brush his fingertips across the mark, eliciting a shudder of pain from N, causing him to pull his hand away quickly.
"T-Taek..." Hakyeon's voice cracked as he spoke. "I... I'm so sorry... Please... Please don't hate me... I... It was a mistake... Tae-Taekwoon. I... I love you..." Leo's chest hurt at how much pain N must have been in because of him.
"Hakyeon... No..." Leo's voice had been gentle but he still saw N wince, still had to pull N back to him as he tried to get out of bed, pulling him into a soft but passionate kiss. "No. I'm the one who should be sorry. What I did... I promise... I promise Hakyeon... I'll never do it again... I will never hurt you again... I love you..."
"Taekwoon..." N watched him nervously. Leo just wanted to make his pain disappear.
"I'll prove it to you." He kissed N again, moving closer to him. It was finally time to give N what he wanted. To show him that he still wanted him by his side. Forever.
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