Review for mclassics

Appearance:

The poster is simple. Comedy? Check. Happy looking poster? Check. So, with this poster, I have an idea that this is going to be a comedy story.

4/5

Title:

The title is common. I've seen stories with titles like this. And also, I was expecting more like an action fanfic. This title is suitable for action stories. Like, cowboys or two guys fighting for their lives. The other guy is the Untoucable while the other one is Unwanted. So, when I learned that this is about school I was...disappoined. I am expecting too much.

3/5

Presentation.

The presentation is too plain. It did not interest me. It did not attract me.

An author should capture the heart of his/her readers from cover to cover. Meaning, from the beginning to end. How can you capture the heart of your readers(especially the picky ones, like me) if you did not get my attention by the start? The Description is really important. I don't know why many authors ignore that fact.

You know, the 'preview' in your first chapter is much better for 'Description' rather than ion First Chapter or a preview. It is more interesting(though, I say, I've read many fanfics with a plot like this) and organized. Your 'Description' looks rushed.

I am not commanding you but I think you should redo your 'Description'. It is too plain, too simple. But, that's according to my taste. And there is a wrong sentence.

But Cho Kyuhyun was one to never follow the rules, was he?

But Cho Kyhyun, is a guy who never follow the rules, isn't he?

1/5

Plot:

The plot is too unoriginal.

And one more thing, who you did not warn me that this is a story?

I got confused. Why are they kissing the other guys?

Well, better label your story as .

12/30

Originality:

As I've said, this is too unoriginal. It is about school, students who are underestimating their schoolmates, crushes, jealousy, yeah it happens in school, like always.

10/20

Writing Style:

I don't have problem with your writing style that much. It is just that, your writing style lacks of emotions. Yes, you do write accurately but I can not feel your story. Not only because the story is unoriginal and too simple. Your writing style needs more emotions. Put a little more creativeness. Not just writing their every actions. Give your characters a feeling. You get what I mean, right?

20/25

Flow of the story:

The first chapters are too slow. They are not developing. Sorry to tell this but it bored me. Your writing style lacks emotions, the story is developing...slowly/

2/5

Characters:

Like the story. The characters' personalities are just simple. Just a simple student's personalities.

I think, because of your writing style, they did not developed that well. I did not feel their characters.

3/5

Entertainment:

You write detailed, accurately. But you must write with passion. Not just any passion. You have to put your heart into writing.

2/5

Overall: 57/105

50-69% = Good going! Improve more!

Comment: This is strange but I usually don't comment after I give a grade. Your story is well written. Detailed. But too plain. And also, your writing style, try to give emotions to it.

Like, “the wind blew softly and give a light kiss to his cheeks” or “he is like a star too near yet too far.” You get it, right?

__________

So I wanted to get my story reviewed so I could see what I needed to improve on and I've got it now! When I have time, I'll come back to edit some things. High school is a killer ^__^