Looking out the window seeing a thick blanket of snow now covering the ground I almost feel scared of the outside. What it has become, what it can do to even the most careful of people. I truly will never see winter in the same eyes as I did a year ago. There are many things that I cannot look at the same anymore, Junhong being one of them...I always had it in my mind that we would forever be the same and that did bore me from time to time thinking this is how we will be for now until forever...that is if he ever wants to be with me that long. Lately I haven't been around him, though it is sort of relaxing considering that he can be quite the handful from time to time. I just feel like he has been avoiding me as of lately, constantly busy and when he is around me he gets nervous or he just doesn't seem all too focused on us. I feel like he is pulling back from me like something is going to happen...I don't like to think about it but it seems as if it is going to happen and I can't stop it.

"Alex is here for you and I'm heading out." My dad said as he poked his head into my room. 
"Oh, do you know where Zelo is?" I stood up and stretched. 
"He hasn't been home since this morning. He said he had to go help Eric with something," 
"Alright. Be safe when driving dad."
"I will honey. I won't be back until late so don't wait up." 
I walked downstairs to be greeted by Alex. 
"Lets go do something." Alex smiled at me. 
"I-I don't think I want to go out." I said nervously as I noticed it had started to snow outside. 
"Oh come on. You can't keep yourself cooped up in the house all winter long." 
"I can certainly try." 
"Zelo has been out more than you...he doesn't have a problem with leaving the house." 
"Fine. Lets go out than." I said sort of irritated. 
"That's more like it!" Alex said. 
I rolled my eyes, changed my clothes and went out with Alex. When we first go into the car I was pretty scared but I threw those feelings away when we started moving. I didn't know where we were going but it felt sort of good that I was getting out of the house for a bit. I had dozed off and my thoughts went back to Junhong and what he might be doing and where he was. I was actually kind of worried but I knew he wouldn't be doing anything that would cause any harm so I eased up a bit. I looked down at my phone to see if he had left me a text and there was nothing. 
"You have been checking your phone like crazy since we left." Alex said as she parked. 
"I'm sorry..." I put my phone away. "Where are we?" I asked. 
"I got invited to a party." She smiled at me. "I knew if I told you where we were going you would have stayed home anyway." Alex looked at me. 
I was about to get mad at her I really wanted to feel irritated at her but for some reason I just couldn't. Maybe I needed this, there wasn't anything else to do and I wanted to get my mind off of things. So this is the perfect distraction. 
"No, I'm not mad. I'm actually glad. Lets go." I said happily and got out of the car. 
A look of shock over took Alex's face for a second but she soon brushed it off and joined me. There were some people who came up and talked to me here and there. People I knew back in highschool, others that I use to talk to in highschool. 

Alex handed me a drink and I looked down at it. Of course it was an adult drink, when you're this age it isn't a party without it. I was hesitant thinking about the last time I drank. I had done some embarrassing things and said some embarrassing things to Junhong. I shook my head and took a drink. I don't want to think about that ever again! That was way more embarrassing than I thought....well it's not so bad now but back then it was....
I kept drinking and talking to people, I was actually having some fun. I had forgotten about my phone and Junhong and my mind was free from all the things I had been worrying about. It had already been a couple hours, I usually stayed away from where everyone was doing wild crazy stuff just so I wouldn't feel crowded. 
"Violet!" I heard someone call out my name.
I looked around a bit seeing no one I knew. thinking I was just hearing things I went to get another drink. 
"Violet, Didn't you hear me calling you?" Eric said as he came up to me. 
"I thought I heard something." I smiled and patted his head. 
"You're drunk aren't you." He said looking at me. 
"I'm not drunk enough